Disclaimer: Gekko, MGM, Double Secret and probably quite a few others own StarGate SG-1. Squaresoft (Square-Enix, whatever) own Final Fantasy. I don't.
Title: The Warriors of Light
Author: Paradigm Shifter
Rating: PG? PG-13? Something like that, anyway. One bad word.
Feedback: But of course. Please?
Dedication: Teri. Happy Birthday.
Thanks: The Unusual Suspects, even though none of you will have actually seen this mini-fic before it's posted: Bobby Cox, Teri and Trevelyan.
Recommended Listening: Return of the Jedi Original Soundtrack.
Notes: This idea just sort of sprung into my head. Apologies in advance. )
There are some translation differences in this game: I'll be using the UK names, alrighty?
-
"Seventh Chevron Locked!"
The StarGate burst into life, before settling down to the rippling pool it always was when open. Jack looked at the Gate dubiously. For once, he wasn't too keen on going. Daniel, Sam and Teal'c stood behind him.
"You're sure about this, Carter?"
"Yes, sir," Carter replied, "they requested our help."
"That makes me feel so much better... remember what happened the last time we were there?"
Daniel snickered, "You mean the part where Garland kidnapped both Sam and Princess Sarah because he couldn't decide who was who?"
Jack nodded. "That's exactly what I mean, yes!" Jack nearly growled as he remembered, and tightened his grip on his MP5. "And who are you... I mean we going to save them from this time?"
"I believe you may have some residual issues with the King of Cornelia, O'Neill," Teal'c said impassively, "they did, after all, welcome us with open arms."
Jack looked wretched, "Well... yeah..." his three team-mates stared at him pointedly, "Ohfercryin'outloud..."
"And equipped us with far better First Aid equipment than we currently have..." Carter added. They still had some quite large stocks in the SGC. Why perform major surgery on someone when a Potion or Elixir would heal them?
Jack pulled a face. "Well, yeah..." he perked up, "but they cheat! It's not fair using magic to heal someone!"
"They don't have guns, Jack, but they do have magic. It's only fair that they use whatever they've got. Besides, some of those 'hocus-pocus spells' as you put it can do more damage than a nuclear explosion."
Carter nodded, "Daniel's right, sir."
Jack waved his free hand in the air, and finally gave up.
"Face it, Jack, you're just pissed that the King thought you were a Thief." Daniel smirked at him, before moving up to the StarGate and stepping through. Sam and Teal'c followed, leaving Jack standing there, debating the virtues of ordering the Gate shut down and burying it again so that his 'team-mates' couldn't keep rubbing his nose in it all the time.
Finally, he reached a decision.
Sighing deeply, he stepped through the Gate.
-
"My Liege! My Liege!" The guard rushed into the King's audience chamber and screeched to halt at the foot of the throne.
"Yes, yes, what is it? I'm very busy, you know... I still have to decide on a name for that new bridge..."
"My Lord... the Light Warriors have returned! They came back through the portal!"
The King gasped. "They have returned? But the sneaky one declared they would never return, and would let our Kingdom rot because of..." the King coughed, "the actions of someone who jumps to conclusions far too quickly..."
"The bespectacled one said they would return, my Lord, and they have done so! While the Thief leads them in combat, they..."
Jack's voice, raised in unhappy exclamation, could be heard from behind the great doors leading to the Throne room. "I am NOT a THIEF!"
The guard went white and the King quickly patted his beard into place as the doors opened.
"Ah, Warriors of Light, you have returned to aid our Kingdom in it's time of need!"
As SG-1 stopped in front of the Throne, Jack rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah... time of need... blah blah blah... what drudge jobs are you going to get us to do this time?"
The King flushed, embarrassed. "Er... well, you see, the Princess Sarah was safely returned to the castle after her kidnapping last time... thanks to your help... and we accepted Garland back into the ranks of Knights since he was being controlled by that demon..."
Jack stared at the King. "You mean the Goa'uld?" One of the natural brews that were so popular here was extraordinary good at forcing a Goa'uld into leaving its host. Force a draught of this down a host's throat, and an hour later, out came the Goa'uld. It was the one thing Jack could say he was grateful for when it came to this world.
"...Yes, indeed, the... Gold," The King leaned down to an aide and hissed, "I always thought gold was what coins were made of?"
"Yes, my Lord," the aide said patiently.
"Your problem?" Daniel asked, "This time?"
The King looked back at them. "Um... yes. It seems that the Princess Sarah was so disgusted at how poorly she had been abducted by Garland, that she took it upon herself to abduct him, instead. To show him how a good abduction should be carried out, her ransom note said. And er... may I say; she is rather better at it..."
"So it's 'Light Warriors to the Rescue'? Again?" Jack's sarcasm could have dissolved steel. "I'm beginning to feel distinctly used."
The King gasped, "But you have the Four Crystals!"
"We found them!" Jack shouted, "we found them when Danny was taking interesting rock samples..." he paused, and continued quieter, "and I can't believe I used the word 'interesting' in connection to Daniel taking rock samples." He looked beseechingly at Carter and Teal'c. "Could one of you shoot me? Please?"
---
OK, I am going to leave this one here. It's starting to grow out of all proportion. And considering that it was a very random idea that appeared for no apparent reason, I'd rather not continue it.
I endeavoured for it to be amusing – both to those familiar with Final Fantasy I and those who aren't – but I'm not sure how well it worked.
If anyone is interested, I recommend '8-bit Theatre' at www . nuklearpower . com it's very funny.
Oh, finally, once more, Happy Birthday Teri. Hope you liked this.