Disclaimer: I don't own it, I'm a broke little soldier.
I am an idiot
By: X-wing Day
I hate being a teen because it's made me an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I'm as well educated as any Bei Fong at my age is expected to be. But now as I sit in Iroh's tea shop I know I am an idiot. I can't watch things the same way the others do, but I can "see" further than they can. I can't help but keep tabs on Sokka. My best friend is drawing again, he's been at it all week as we've relaxed here. Suki brings him tea and food every so often and they talk and laugh. I want to join them, I know they'd let me too, but it would hurt way too much.
If Suki were anyone else I wouldn't care as much. But Suki is a respectable fighter, she's intelligent, she's kind and she's more than willing to risk her life for any of us. She's also been a prisoner. Don't ask me how that makes a difference but trust me it does. Somehow when you know someone has spent time as an unwilling guest of the fire nation and come out of it intact you can't help but respect them a little more. She's a great friend. . . But she has the one guy I ever took an interest in wrapped around her finger.
I can tell easily that Sokka is head over heels for her, and she adores him. So why am I so stupid that I still wish. . . No, I'm not going down that road again. I am Toph, I don't need romance or dates. I certainly don't need flowers or stupid cards covered in hearts. I'm thirteen and the most powerful earth bender that ever lived. All I need is my freedom, and it helps to have a few close friends.
"You seem to be deep in thought today." Zuko's voice is a bit awkwardly warm as he sets a tea cup on the table before me. The new fire lord takes a seat across my formerly private table and I know he's looking at me. "Are you okay Toph?"
"Were you elected to check on me Sparky?" My reply comes out in a warning tone as I slowly swish my tea around in it's cup. I listen to it as it makes soft splashing sounds he probably can't hear.
"No, I just noticed that you've been distant all day. Actually for a few days." Zuko leaned forward and drops his voice a bit, and suddenly I feel like I am part of a conspiracy. "I was also wondering if you've decided what you are doing after this."
"After?" I leaned closer to him as well and one of my eyebrows arched curiously. "After what?"
"After this break." He waved a hand vaguely toward the Jade Dragon tea shop and I could somehow hear his smile. "The war is over and I'm happy Uncle has his tea shop back, but as nice as Ba Sing Sei is I need to return to my nation."
"How does this effect me Sparky?"
"I was hoping I could enlist your help." Zuko seemed reluctant to speak further than that, as if he was trying to find a good way to word it. I let the silence go until the fire lord finally made up his mind. "I could use a trusted friend with me while I get my nation back on track."
"You have Mai." I pointed out just to be difficult.
"Mai is my girlfriend, what if I want to talk to someone about Mai?" That comment from Zuko did it, I laughed a bit suddenly and I'm sure several customers turned to look toward our small table.
"Why not Sokka or Aang?" I suggested as I calmed down. The smirk did not leave my face.
"I'm happy for Aang and Katara but they are so sweet it's. . ." Zuko was at a loss to explain. I nodded and mentally agreed that Sugar Queen and Twinkle Toes should come with a cavity warning. With a sigh I felt Zuko shift, probably looking off toward the table at which Sokka sat. "Sokka is a decent warrior, but I need someone who can handle court as well."
"Upper class Snuzzles is not." I agreed with a grimace. I shook my head after a moment and sighed. "What makes you think I'd be interested?"
"To be honest, I don't know if you would be." His tone was resigned now. "But I am hoping you will be. Mai and I will be returning tomorrow, you're more than welcome to come. Even you decide not to tomorrow you're welcome to join us at the palace anytime."
"I can leave when I want, go where I want? No strings attached?" I was thinking it over. Having the run of the fire nation palace didn't sound bad actually.
"Of course, you'd be there as my guest. Free to come or leave at your will."
I was placing the last article of clothing in my bag as Sokka and Suki walked through the door of Iroh's apartment. We'd all been sharing it so there were sleeping mats everywhere. I could feel Sokka freeze as he saw me. With out a word exchanged Suki kissed his cheek, turned and walked back out the door. Sokka approached me slowly and sighed as he clearly spotted my bag.
"You're leaving already?" His voice was sad even as I nodded. The water tribe warrior adjusted his grip on his crutches and leaned close to me. Based on the vibrations he must have been trying his best to stare into my sightless eyes. "You weren't going to say bye were you?"
"I'm not good at saying bye Snozzles." I meant for my voice to be dry and sarcastic, it never failed me before. Somehow it didn't work this time, my voice cracked a little and I felt strangely guilty for even trying. I wanted say something but I heard his crutches drop and then I was wrapped in two strong arms. I was surprised, confused and embarrassed but I also was happy. I snuck my arms around his waist and returned the gesture.
"So, where are you headed?" Sokka finally whispered, slowly letting me go. I hastily wiped a tear from my eye, the only that escaped and grinned.
"I am off to be the unofficial advisor to Fire Lord Zuko." I spoke in a tone that made clear the non-existent importance of the position. Sokka chuckled a little. I sent a challenged expression his way and rested my hands on my hips. "What's so funny?"
"Just I was almost crazy enough to think you were heading home."
"Not on your life." My first response was fierce but slowly I let myself relax again. I shrugged and picked non-existent lint off my Blind Bandit outfit. "I'll go home someday, when I feel like facing them. Maybe in a few years."
"Are you going to stay with Zuko and Mai until then?"
"Maybe, or might take off again in a month or so." I gave him an evil smirk and socked his arm lightly. "I've come to kind of like this traveling thing since you all interrupted my life."
"You could come visit the South Pole with me some time." Sokka offered this cautiously and I had to laugh again.
"Thank you Snozzles but that's way too much snow for me." I stretched and turned away from him. "I hate to cut this short, but we leave pretty early so I should get some sleep tonight."
"Yeah, sure." Sokka managed to retrieve his crutches and awkwardly hobble back out the door. With a sigh I fished out my old Earth Rumble belt and placed it on Sokka's sleeping mat. Tomorrow I'd leave, but it wasn't like I'd never see my best friend again. I fell asleep that night with a relaxed smile on my face, and dreams of a certain warrior in my mind.