Author's comments: There's never a whole lot of focus on Matt. Whenever there's fic of these two it's normally on Mello's side of things so I hope I can change that, even if the focus shifts between the two of them. Not sure if I should continue though...so if you like it please review! Oh, and as always, I do not own Death Note or any of its characters. Nope, just an avid fan of it. Also, title is the name of a song by Anberlin, which I am also in no way associated with, it simply inspired this fic. Lastly, it's rated as mature but doesn't get into that till later~ (Maybe next chapter then again later on)

Within Wammy's House the kids may play their days away and yet they are forced to grow up quickly. To learn all that they can, to be mature and logical, and to try and learn how to control their emotions so they won't get in the way of deductive reasoning.

But in the end they are still only kids. Kids with fear, uncertainty, longing, hate, jealously, and love. Matt was no exception to this. In fact, he was the perfect example.

He acted as if nothing was wrong and went through everyday showing normal emotions; smiling pleasantly, laughing at jokes, crying when hurt, playing with the other kids. But in truth he felt...empty. Like life wasn't worth living.

Sure he was the third best student there, only fourteen and already smarter than what many adults could only hope to be. But it still felt as if there was nothing worth living for.

Why? Because the one he so loyally followed around and wished to be beside always had his focus set on another kid. Sure his eyes were filled with hate and jealously whenever he looked at Near, but it was such passion...such intensity.

Matt didn't care if it was with hate or love, he just wished Mello would look at him like that. Instead he felt ignored, unnoticed, even when they spent most of their free time together. He simply had to do something about it, but even with all of the chances he's had he simply stood by idly and watched them slide by. He just didn't have the courage or motivation to do that, much less anything else.

Even now, as the two laid side by side on Mello's bed he couldn't even speak.

Matt had came over after their classes ended and they did homework together. Once that was finished he pulled out his hand held system and presented Mello with his new game. And then, like always, he said he would rather just watch him play instead of playing himself.

That was fine with Matt as he knew Mello was never the gamer, but...it put so much pressure on him. To have Mello watching his every move, lying there so close by, touching even. He could even feel Mello's breath on his neck while he was leaning against him to see the screen better. It was so warm...

No, he had to focus. He couldn't lose this game, not while Mello was watching. Even if it was just a game it always impressed Mello when he beat them so easily, and sometimes he would even praise him. To get praised by someone far better than yourself...well, maybe there was something that made life worth it and got him through each mundane day.

These thoughts helped him to ease into his play easier, but he had become so transfixed with it that only after he had defeated the final level with his score flashing on the screen did he notice that Mello had fallen asleep.

Sweat formed on his brow and his cheeks became hot pink. It didn't help any that his arm had become Mello's pillow, so it wasn't like he could just get up and leave, not without waking the blond. Sure that wouldn't bother him too much but...

But he looked so peaceful. His normal intense, focused eyes were shut, his face had become expressionless, and for once his body wasn't as tense as it normally was. It was just pure, in some way.

Shutting off his game quietly Matt sat down the device and rested his head on his free arm. It would be so easy to say he merely fell asleep while playing, too. If he was lucky they could wake up late so the other wouldn't think twice about it before running off to class.

Laying here, listening to the steady breathing of his friend, Matt had to wonder what the other dreamed about. Was it no different than what he thought about while awake, about being number one and surpassing Near? Or did his mind wander far past that and into a realm that not even Matt, the one Mello told almost everything to, knew of?

The last option that crossed the gamer's mind was the least likely, but the one he had hoped for most, and it was that, just maybe, Mello had dreamed of him. It didn't even matter what context that was; whether it was them simply playing games together, working, fighting, or whatever. If he was in Mello's dream as Mello was in Matt's then perhaps he could finally feel whole.

And with that in mind he drifted into a sound slumber, smiling in his sleep.