Well, this is something I sort of wrote on impulse. Just something funny, and if you like it, I'll continue, so…
Well, this is Frodo's point of view from the journey, and I guess you have to be sort of a freak like me and know the movie as well as I do to understand it all :p
Any questions, or comments, send a review:D
The Lord of the Rings: Frodo's Diary
Saturday, birthday of uncle Bilbo
Sitting in glade, reading v. v. interesting book. Well, okay not that interesting, but Bilbo said it was, and it was from his bookshelf I nicked it, so… his loss.
Well, actually, it's my loss, but who cares? Not me, that's for certain. So why am I reading this stupid book?
Tossed away the book, which proved very unfortunate, as the only thing I can do now is sit and chew on this stupid straw.
And maybe sing a bit. "The road goes ever on-"
Wait a minute.
There is someone singing too. And the same song! What stupid old geezer would be singing that very nice song that my uncle made up!? Stupid, evil, ugly- --gasp--
GANDALF!!!
Still Saturday, sitting in Gandalf wagon.
Accused the wizard of being late, but he merely told this really stupid joke, but everything was so merry and jolly so, whoopee! I threw myself and gave the old jolly man a big ol' hug.
And then he said he was sorry. Well, actually no, but he did say that he didn't want to miss "my uncle Bilbo's birthday" and I am taking that as an apology.
Because I will not fight with a wizard.
Not only because he is v. v. powerful, but because then we might not get to see fireworks and then everyone will be mad at me.
Especially Sam.
Oh, dear, Gandalf looks troubled when I told him how Bilbo keeps locking himself up in his study. Personally I think he's going away somewhere. Bilbo, not Gandalf, that is. But the hobbit's like 111 years old! That's like… really old! Even for hobbit-people!
Anyway, said good-bye to Gandy and leapt very swiftly of the wagon, prancing into the forest again. Maybe I should find that book?
Saturday evening, Party!!!
Jeez, took me all day finding that stupid book and wrestling it away from a very aggressive badger. And hobbit-badgers are never aggressive! Stupid badger.
Anyway, made it just in time for party and amazing fireworks!!
Thinking about telling Gandy about Merry and Pip. Saw them slipping into a tent just by his fireworks-wagon, and I am sensing disaster. But then, I never cease to be amused whenever they get punished by good old fireworks-wizard.
Hmm. Saw Sam sitting very lonely staring at Rosie. Must go and get him to dance. Maybe then she won't see how big feet he has.
HAHAHAhahahahaha, big feet. I am so v. v. funny.
Sam argues. "I do so not have big feet."
God. Hobbits just can't take jokes.
Two hours later..
Bilbo? Oh, Bilbo? Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilbo???
Oh, crap. You will NOT believe what the old geezer's done now! The hobbit had a very interesting long speech, when suddenly he disappears! Just like that! Just went into smoke! Well, no, there was no smoke, but still!!
And guess who has to find him? That's right, me. Everyone else is v. v. confused, running around like scared chickens. Maybe Bilbo has gone up to Bag End?
Ran up to Bag End. Opened the door, and nearly fell over a ring. Very shiny ring, but there'll be lots and lots of time to become addicted to that later.
Well, there was no Bilbo, but yay! Gandy was there. …Smoking. HOW many times must I tell he destroys the roof, which is the ground outside, when he does that? Wizards never learn.
But being very worried about Bilbo today, I ignored the smoke and instead asked him if Bilbo had left. Because, hear and marvel, I had already figured out that he had gone of to Rivendell. Only I never thought he would. At his age. Tsk tsk.
But instead of hearing and marvel(ing), Gandy said nothing. Nada. So I had to repeat his name like twenty times before he responded, and only when I waved my arm with the ring in front of his biig nose.
He went, "Oh! Bilbo's ring!" and quickly shoved it into an envelope. I'm sensing scary business with that ring. I hope he doesn't send me on v. v. long journey to destroy it.
Oh, Hahahaha, I am so funny!
Monday, three weeks later, on v. v. long journey..
Oh, crap. I hate being right. Especially in my jokes. Well, I probably should tell you. After that night, Gandy suddenly took off like a scared little newborn pony, blaming on that he had 'questions that need answers.'
Yeah, right. Look, we all miss Bilbo, but get a grip!
And then, I had a long and merry time with Sam, Merry and Pip, with much drinking, which is why I can't remember that period well, but I hope nothing serious happened.
Anyway, as I reached Bag End, I found that somebody had trashed the place like mad! That is not OK!
I was then very surprised by a v. v. scruffy looking Gandy.
"Hello," I said politely, which I considered a nice way to start a conversation after not having seen each other for THREE WEEKS, but he just went, "Is it secret? Is it safe?"
What?
I went, "What?"
"The Ring!"
What Ring?
I went, "What Ri- Ooooh."
So I went to my super-secret-hiding place, a chest, and opened it. The ungrateful wizard snatched it right out of my hands, and threw it into the fire!
Even more confusing, I suddenly felt like jumping in after it. Oh, how curious, I am becoming attached to this ring, I thought.
And THEN, after plucking out the darn ring and flinging it down in my hand, he asked, quite rudely, if I could see anything.
Well, duh, I see a ring.
I went, "Well, duh, I see a ri-"
Ooh, shiny letters.
I went, "Ooh, shiny letters. What does it say?"
And Gandy said some really scary poem. And I hoped it was not the ring of super-duper evil King Sauron.
Once again, I was ironically right.
"This is the One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom," Gandy said, in a very foreboding voice.
Which is now why I am currently sitting under a tree, with Sam snoring beside me. Because of Sauron's darn ring. Of course the darn Dark Lord had to be out looking for the ring. And of course darn Gollum had to say "Shire, Baggins-yadayada" and lead v. v. scary Black Riders here.
I am sure the Gods are having a very merry time laughing at me as I speak. Write. Whatever. So now I have to go to darn Rivendell and leave stupid ring to stupid elves.
Ooh, shiny wood-elves!
Well, whaddaya think? Should I keep going?