Susan's Choice
Susan had a choice to make, stay with Caspian and never return home, never seeing her family again or leave with her siblings and never seeing Caspian again. It was one of the hardest and most terrifying choices she had to make in her life. Susan discussed it with Aslan and it was her only two options. She had only two days to decide. She had her family all her life, going back and being the right age to marry she didn't think she could bear to love another, other than Caspian. She could stay and live out the remainder of her life with him. But could she even bear not seeing her family again? Could she really? Susan couldn't take it anymore, her head hurt and she'd been holding back tears. She finally let them flow as she gazed out her balcony into the night sky. Susan didn't want to think about it anymore. She couldn't. She decided she needed to walk it out and swiftly took to the stairs, slipping out into the garden trying not to be noticed. No one else knew of the decision she had to make on her own. "Why did I have to meet Caspian? None of this would have happened if I didn't." She told herself but quickly rebuked it because the thought of him made her smile.
As Susan was walking along she notice a familiar figure, leaning over the edge of the bridge on the lake. She quietly crept closer to be sure of whom she hoped she saw. Sure enough it was Caspian himself. From his face shining in the moonlight she could see he was troubled. Susan then slowly and quietly approached and placed a comforting hand upon his shoulder, he jumped but when he saw who it was his face brightened…..and then saddened, "May I ask why you're out here?" Caspian asked, " At this time, alone?" "Don't worry, I can take care of myself. Besides it's the castle grounds, nothing could be safer. I actually came out to get fresh air and clear my head. I didn't think I'd find anyone here so late. I'll go if you like". She replied, turning to walk away. "Wait," he said, grabbing a hold of her hand "I didn't want you to go. I'm just…I'm just sad you are leaving soon, leaving me." As Susan held his hand she touched his cheek and replied "What if I said, I might stay?" He took her hand off his face and held it and turned his face away, "Please don't tease me, I can't bear it. We know you must return." "What if there was a way I could stay?" "That would be but a dream, too good to be true." "So you wouldn't mind if I stayed, here, and spent my life with you?" Susan looked at his face expectantly. "Susan, do you really mean to say, there is a way you can stay? With me?" "Yes, if you'll have me." She said with a smile.
Caspian cupped her face with one hand and kissed Susan with the passion he had burning inside him since he first laid eyes on her. Susan melted and suddenly the world and everything that worried her melted away. She knew right then she couldn't live without Caspian. But she then remembered her family. Oh, how heartbroken they'd be. At that thought, Susan broke away and let out her tears. She wanted to run but Caspian grabbed her. "What's wrong Susan? Do you not want to be with me?" "Oh yes, more than anything, but if I choose you I'll never see my family again. I'm just, just so confused!" She began to sob, overwhelmed with the weight of thoughts and emotions she collapsed and Caspian caught her and held her in his arms on the ground. Comforting her, "Whatever you choose, I'll always be here for you…my dearest Susan." He kissed her head and simply let her cry. She soon wore herself out and fell asleep in Caspian's arms. Caspian stroked her hair and soon drifted off asleep himself.
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The sun rose along with another day. Caspian and Susan were still fast asleep, Caspian having Susan in his hold. Caspian awoke with the warm sun on his face, looking down he saw Susan. She was so beautiful when she was sleeping peacefully. Suddenly he snapped realizing they slept together all night and hoped they had not been seen. He knew they had to get up before anyone would get the chance. It'd ruin their reputations to be found in such a state. He gently shook her awake. "Susan, time to get up" Susan opened her eyes and saw Caspian there like a dream. She smiled as her stroked her hair off her face. Her memory of last night rushed to her mind and she stood up without hesitation. "Was I out here all night with you?" "I'm afraid we nodded off, yes." "I do hope we weren't seen." "If they did we don't have to hide anymore." He said with a laugh. "I don't find that funny Caspian, I do have a reputation as Queen of Narnia to keep." "My apologies, I forgot." He smirked. "Ph stop, don't make me use my arrows on you." "You wouldn't dare on a king to be of Narnia." "Wouldn't slow me down" She grinned. "You are making it harder for me to let you go when you leave tomorrow. I just don't know if I can move on from you, Susan, you're….perfect." Tears slowly trickled down his face. Susan's heart broke. She grabbed him and kissed him like she'd longed to for so long, tears falling from her eyes mixing with his. She knew right then and there what she wanted for herself. This was something she had to do for herself. Stay and love and be loved by Caspian.
The kiss broke with both panting for air, tears rolling. "You won't have to move on. I'm staying with you. I'm all yours, my love, if you'll have me." She smiled looking into his eyes for a response. "Yes I would have nothing less. Yes. I love you so much. My Susan." He kissed her even more passionately. He broke away at a realization. "What about your family?" He asked. "I'll never see them again. Once more I'll see Edmund and Lucy but then I'll never see them again according to Aslan. I've struggled with it for some time now, but now I know what my heart wants and can't live without; you." She replied. "Oh Susan, I am so sorry. I will love you all my life and beyond. I'll take care of you like a rare jewel. This I promise you. I love you." "And I love you." "Susan," he got down on his knee "Will you marry me, be my Queen and grant me a whole lifetime to probe my love to you?" "Yes Caspian, Yes!" She kissed him and he swung her around in his arms, both glowing. "Well if I knew you were going to stay, I'd have your ring with me." "That's fine, you love around my heart is enough for now." She smirked. How irresistible she was; he kissed her without resistance. "We should probably go and tell the others." "I supposed" He grinned, grabbing her hand they walked back to the palace hand in hand with a skip in their step.
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