Chapter 1 – Meeting the neighbours
Haruhi tried very hard to live up to her own beliefs. That is, it's the person you are on the inside, not out, that counts. This meant that she tried to be a kind person who was committed to her work and friendships. Someone who tried hard at being generous, forgiving, courageous…
Yet as she lied on her futon in the late hours of the night, she couldn't help but feel as if she wasn't quite living up to those standards.
Next door, she could hear a raging fight go on.
Haruhi lived in a small apartment with her father. They didn't have much money, but it wasn't a worry. It was just the two of them so the expenses of living didn't add up at all. They were perfectly happy with what they had. Next door lived, where the fight was happening, a woman and her daughter, whom Haruhi figured to be around her own age. There used to be a young boy living with the woman and daughter as well, but he hadn't been around in a couple of months. No one really knows where he went.
Shouts continued to persist.
"You little… drunk?... slut…" Haruhi couldn't quite make out all the words being expressed by the woman, but there was no doubting the tone of the argument.
There was suddenly a loud crash followed by the slamming of the front door. Steps echoed passed Haruhi's room as the daughter stormed out into the night.
At least the police weren't called tonight.
These fights were a frequent occurrence. They were a reminder of how unprepared Haruhi was to step into stop a fight and help someone out. It was a reminder of how she would try to ignore the event despite how apparent it was. It made her resent herself slightly. She silently promised herself that if she were ever confronted with a fight or an assault like this within her own sight, she would step in.
For now hearing a fight didn't build up enough passion… enough bravery to act as the good person, the neutraliser. She would block out the sound and as always, pretend it wasn't happening.
The next morning.
Today was the start of a new school year. Haruhi pulled on a grey sweater and a pair of old trousers. She put on her glasses that were large on her face but did their intended job. She prepared herself for school quietly, as to not wake her father who worked nightshifts. He was often absent for the fights next door.
She left her apartment, closing the door softly behind her the same time the girl from next door was leaving for school. The girl wore a blue and white sailor outfit, typical of most Japanese school uniforms. She looked at Haruhi and smiled. Her lips were cracked and she had unflattering dark rings under eyes, evidence of a terrible night, bad sleep or otherwise.
Haruhi stood speechless for a few seconds. The atmosphere filled with an awkward air. Haruhi choked on a hello. The girl would surely realise she heard the fight last night and that made Haruhi feel uncomfortable. It was like she knew a horrible secret about her. She was worried that the girl would be angry or aggressive about it. The last thing Haruhi wanted was to get into an argument with her neighbour, but she couldn't see anyway out of a conversation.
"On your way to school as well? Which way are you headed?" the girl asked in an at ease tone. The question didn't fit with the scenario Haruhi was creating in her head. It was reasonable. They began to walk down the stairs to the footpath below.
"Left, to the station," Haruhi replied. The girl grinned. Now that Haruhi had spent a bit more time looking at the girl, she did admit to herself that she wasn't as scary looking as what she would have expected. Clean, dark hair fell past her shoulders in layers that framed her face neatly. She had soft features and the corners of her mouth seemed to naturally curve up slightly, giving her a constant content appearance. No, she wasn't scary looking at all.
"Same here. Let's walk together. I'm Kida Kotone, by the way," Kotone said. She held out a hand for Haruhi to shake. Haruhi shook her hand. Despite living next to each other for quite a while, this was the first time they had actually had a conversation.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Kotone-san. I'm Fujioka Haruhi," Haruhi replied, smiling politely. They walked without conversation for a few minutes.
Kotone hummed a soft tune to herself as she gazed around at her surroundings. Haruhi watched her as she ran her hand across the fences of the houses they passed. Kotone seemed completely relaxed in Haruhi's presence. Not a hint of anger or distress.
"So what school are you at Haruhi-chan?" Kotone asked her all of a sudden as they arrived at the station. They found that they were also headed to the same train.
"Ouran Academy. I get off at Yamoto Station," Haruhi replied. They boarded the train, squeezing in amongst the crowd. They found a pole to hang onto before the train took off.
"Wow! That's a really prestigious rich kids school, isn't it?" Kotone replied. It had been for so long that Haruhi distanced herself from her neighbour that over time she had developed an image that she was this ratbag teenager with a severe attitude disorder, but Kotone seemed kind. She spoke expressively and genuinely seemed interested in the conversation they were having. Haruhi laughed at her question.
"Yes I guess it is. I was very fortunate to get in. Although I can't help but feel slightly anxious about going," she replied. Kotone smiled and patted her back in encouragement.
"You must have gotten in as an honour student, right? You must be really smart then! I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. You don't seem like a mean or bad person, so I'm sure you'll make friends in no time," Kotone said. The train slowed to a stop and a scurry of people left the train. "I'm about to enter my second year of high school now so I've already experienced my share of nerves about first days. I actually go to Ourin Public High School by the way, so I get off at Ourin Station, the one after Yamoto."
"Ah, okay. So I'll see you on the train after school then, Kotone-san?" Haruhi asked. Kotone nodded and smiled. There were nearly at Yamato station.
"Yes. I'm not in any clubs at this stage, so I'll be on the 2pm train," Kotone said. The train slowed down. "I'll catch you later, Haruhi-chan."
"Great. See you then!" Haruhi stepped onto the platform. She felt uncomfortable about associating herself with Kotone still. Yet she was developing a sense of ease around the girl. She seemed harmless and completely sane. Haruhi acknowledged that she might have completely misjudged her all because of a bias she had about her relationship with her mother. But there was still that nagging feeling that Kotone came from a completely different lifestyle to what she did, an undesirable lifestyle.
Haruhi made her way into the school building for her first class. She thought about Kotone. She may come from perhaps a difficult background but that shouldn't stop her from becoming friends. Haruhi decided that she would make a mental effort to ignore any obvious issues Kotone had with her family. Who was she to judge how someone lived anyway?
Kotone arrived at school with plenty of time to spare. She entered her classroom where a few students were sitting in the corner, chatting about their holidays. Making her way across the room, going desk by desk, was her new sensei, putting down name cards and assigning places for everyone to sit.
The students in the corner recognised her and called out to her.
"Ko-chan! It's been a while," one of the girls said. Kotone waved and walked over to the group and sat down next to them. She greeted them and asked how everyone's school break was. Vacations, parties, family get togethers. They all seemed pleasant.
"Dad's making me join the music club this year though. I don't really want to, but he can be so demanding. 'Music is good for quickening brain processes… yarreh yarreh'. And so now on top of all my schoolwork I'm playing flute in the club like I did back in middle school. Even then getting all my homework done was a nightmare!" one of the girls told.
"But you're wonderful at flute Kimiko-chan! It won't be that bad, will it…?" remarked another girl.
Kotone zoned out, distracted by her own thoughts. She was resenting going home tonight. Maybe she should join a club as well. There was always Judo. She was good at that in middle school. But she would probably be one of the only girls in the club now. She probably wouldn't have the strength or skill to keep up with boys and likely wouldn't be able to enjoy it. Although, it would be more pleasant than her apartment.
The bell rang. The group dispersed and everyone started looking for the new seats where they would be spending their classes for the rest of the year. Kotone found hers and sat down. On her right, sat a boy she hadn't met before. She sent him a smile and a small wave that he returned kindly. Although there was a name card on the desk on her left, no one sat there.
"Good morning everyone. My name is Ishida-sensei and I will be your Homeroom and Mathematics teacher for the coming year. I hope for a productive term and I…" Ishida-sensei continued to say her introductions.
Kotone was tired. Last night resulted in her getting minimal amounts of sleep. She tried to block it from her mind, as she always did. She felt herself tempted to put her head down on the desk and catch up on her missed hours of rest. But this was her first day of school for the year! She couldn't afford to make a bad impression by snoring in the middle of class just yet.
She would stick it through the day as long as she could.
After a day spent in a community of the rich and powerful, Haruhi felt almost thrilled to see Kotone on the train as she entered it from Yamoto Station. Kotone grinned and gestured for her to join her where she was standing. Haruhi wore an exasperated expression. It seemed she was full of complete disbelief. She didn't seem unhappy though, which was a good sign. Kotone was looking forward to finding out just what kind of students went to Haruhi's school and what had caused her to wear such an expression on her face.
"Ne? Bad day Haruhi-chan?" Kotone teased. Haruhi let out a sigh and nodded, although a subtle smile seemed to play on her lips.
"You would not believe some of students that go to Ouran Academy…" Haruhi started her explanation on the students that went to the school. She spoke of how some of them knew nothing about the desperations in this world, how they seemed completely unprepared for the world outside. And then there were the others who were completely the opposite, and who were being trained into the perfect businessmen or academics.
Kotone stifled a yawn. Haruhi remembered how little sleep Kotone must have gotten last night, but ignored her yawn. She wouldn't bring up anything that could lead to a conversation about the fight.
"Did you meet anyone you could relate to?" Kotone asked.
"Heh. Not yet. I kept to myself for most of the day. I'm more worried about finding my way around at the moment than making friends," Haruhi replied. She rubbed her temples.
"Ah. That makes sense. So what are the facilities at the school like anyway? Are the classrooms much different to the ones at your middle school?" Kotone asked. Haruhi grinned. This question seemed to lighten her mood. Kotone was glad.
"The classrooms are pretty much the same only much more refined. Although, it has these halls the size of an entire building at my middle school. It also has four libraries…" Haruhi explained.
"Four! Wow that must be a lot of books," Kotone exclaimed. Haruhi laughed.
The train slowed down to their stop. They stepped onto the platform and started heading back to their apartments.
"I think I might check the libraries out tomorrow actually. I'll see how good of a place to study they are," Haruhi stated. Kotone nodded and grinned. She couldn't help but admire Haruhi and how nice it must be to go to such a school. No matter how blissfully ignorant some of the students might be, it sounded like another world to her. It sounded exciting.
As she did when they walked to the station in the morning, Kotone started humming a quiet tune to herself. She patted a cat on the footpath as they walked past it. It meowed loudly making Kotone and Haruhi giggle. Kotone seemed happy.
But the mood changed as they started to near their apartments. Kotone started biting her already injured lips. She had stopped humming but still tried to smile pleasantly. Haruhi realised Kotone was feeling nervous and anxious about seeing her mother. They walked up the steps together. As they reached their apartment doors, Kotone could hear the TV on inside her apartment. Damn. This meant her mother was home and there was no avoiding her. She frowned.
"Uh… Kotone-san, would you like to do our homework with me at my place?" Haruhi asked. Kotone looked over at her surprised. So she was that obvious in her anxiety. Haruhi smiled. "Homework is always much more entertaining when studying with someone else."
Kotone knew this was an act of kindness on Haruhi's behalf. She knew that Kotone was resenting going home and so she was helping her delay it. Kotone smiled back.
"I'd love to Haruhi-chan. It sounds like a great idea!" Kotone replied. She followed Haruhi into her apartment.
The apartment was a mirror image of her own. Everything was backwards. Haruhi lead her into the living room.
"Would you like some tea?" Haruhi asked as she put her bag down on the floor next to a table. Kotone sat down and pulled out one of her textbooks along with a workbook.
"Yes, thank you," Kotone replied, beaming. Haruhi smiled. She was glad she was able to put Kotone back in a good mood.
A few minutes later, Haruhi returned with two cups of tea and placed one of them in front of Kotone. Kotone blew on the hot liquid and then took a sip.
"Delicious."
The two of them worked on their homework while chatting about random things. Movies, music, what TV shows they liked and what they wanted to be when they left school.
"What are you thinking of studying after school Haruhi-chan," Kotone asked. She had almost finished her homework for the evening now and was starting to unwind out of school mode.
"I think I want to study Law," Haruhi replied. She had already finished and was now just relaxing and sipping at her second cup of tea. "My mother was a lawyer."
Kotone hadn't failed to notice the small shrine that was situated in the corner of the room. Haruhi had only been living in this apartment complex for about 5 years while Kotone had been here for more like 8, nearly 9 years. Never had Kotone seen any evidence of Haruhi having a mother and so it was always assumed she was dead or at least had nothing to do with Haruhi and her father anymore.
"That sounds fantastic, Haruhi-chan," Kotone replied. She closed her books and put her pens away. She stayed where she sat, however and continued to sip at her cup of tea.
"What about you Kotone-san?" Haruhi asked.
"Hmmm. It sounds a bit silly, but I would really like to become a chef or something," Kotone replied.
"That doesn't sound silly at all! Do you like cooking?" Haruhi asked.
"Very much so," Kotone said. She paused while she finished her tea with one last sip. "I love creating all sorts of things in the kitchen. Mum doesn't like the idea of me being a chef though. She says there isn't enough well paid work out there for it, and may I directly quote her on this 'You'll end up like me, living as a single mother working to support her family on a minimum wage and not even being able to afford a spare light bulb.'"
Haruhi had walked into the one conversation she had been avoiding at all costs. She stared at Kotone, lost for words and scared she would tip her over into a rant that would make everyone feel uncomfortable. Kotone noticed she made Haruhi feel awkward with her short comment on her mother.
"Sorry about that. I should probably keep my rants about family to myself," Kotone apologised followed by a short nervous laugh. "Anyway, I should probably go back over to my place now."
"Oh, it's okay you don't have to leave so soon if you don't want to," Haruhi said regaining her voice.
"No, no. I should probably get back. Even though she doesn't want me to become a chef, Mum does support me cooking dinner, so I should get started on that. Thank you for letting me study with you Haruhi-chan, we should do it again sometime, ne?" Kotone asked. She flashed a smile.
"Of course, it sounds like a great idea," Haruhi replied, returning the smile. She walked out to the front door with Kotone.
"See you around then," Kotone said as she picked up her shoes, not bothering to put them on since she would only have to take them off just about immediately anyway.
"Yes, see you tomorrow morning," Haruhi replied. Kotone shut the door behind her self.
For several seconds Haruhi stared at the door after it closed. With a sigh and looked away. She stepped back into the living room and positioned herself in front of her mother's shrine.
"How is it that I turn on my standards so fast, mum?" Haruhi whispered to herself. Haruhi realised that before today, she had only heard the worst of Kotone. She heard some of the darkest emotions she felt through the thin walls of their apartment complex before even seeing her face properly. And it was because of this she had built up her own version of Kotone in her imagination, a character that was a ratbag teenager or an alcoholic with a personality problem. Haruhi had already gathered from their confrontation that none of these things were true. In reality, Kotone seemed to be quite pleasant, a sweet girl who wasn't looking for trouble. And yet Haruhi still found herself mixing the imagined Kotone and the real Kotone (whom she didn't actually know all too well) together. She continued to make unwanted assumptions and judgements that may not be true about Kotone at all.
"I'm home," Kotone said as she shut the door of her apartment. She placed her shoes down by the door and stepped into the living room. Her mother sat in a chair in the corner of the room, reading a book while listening to the news quietly on the TV.
Kotone's mother, Kida Sachiko, was a very slight woman. She was a smoker and didn't eat as much as she probably should. Like Kotone, she had large dark rings under her eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a tight, low bun. Grey hairs were started to appear around her hairline just above both ears. She wore glasses. Thin round ones that sat close to her face. Like Kotone, her mouth had a natural curve to it, that made her appear in a more pleasant mood, but Kotone knew this not to be necessarily true.
"Welcome home," she said with out looking up from her book. She was upset.
"Well I'll go start dinner then. I'm going to make some honey soy chicken kebabs, does that sound alright?" Kotone asked. Her mother this time did look up from her book. However, silence hung in the air for several moments. Her mother looked her up and down, seeing that she was in school uniform. She then looked over to her bag, which was full of textbooks and then finally at her face.
"Sounds delicious. So you did go to school today then?" She asked. She folded her book shut and placed it on her lap. Her criticising gaze was fully focused on Kotone.
"Of course. I didn't want to make a bad impression," Kotone replied. She moved into the kitchen, keeping the door open so her mother and herself could still talk.
"Did you have a hang over?" her mother asked with a hint of venom. She was provoking Kotone.
"I told you, I wasn't drinking. I wasn't going to sabotage my first day of school," Kotone replied sharply.
Kotone's relationship with her mother wasn't pleasant. It wasn't that she hated her mother. It was just that she found her so intolerable sometimes she really struggled to hold herself back. Sometimes her anger got a bit to out of control and she would break something or she would be tempted to hit someone. Of course she had self-control and she would never hit her mother or anyone for that matter.
That was when she was sober at least.
Around a year ago, Kotone had made a huge mistake. She mixed in with a bad crowed of people. They drank and smoked. Kotone had learned enough from seeing her mother to deny any form of cigarette, but the alcohol was something new and exciting. One night, a couple of these friends invited her out to a nearby park. She got home an absolute mess.
"Where have you been? Ugh… you smell disgusting. You've vomited all over yourself haven't you… You're drunk! You look like—" Her mother had paused in mid sentence when Kotone's hand made contact with her cheek.
Kotone could in all honesty not remember anything after that moment except she found herself watching her mother be asked by police to quieten down as we were disturbing the neighbours. She then remembers the next morning looking at her mother, her face bruised in more places than a single slap. Kotone's anger had gotten out of control and she couldn't remember a thing about it. When she asked what she had done, her mother refused to tell her. Ever since that night though her mother had never looked at her with a single bit of affection.
Perhaps she never did in the first place. It had been so long and now she didn't care either way; whether her mother had ever really loved her or not. She probably didn't deserve it anyway.
She shut the kitchen door. She would distract herself with her cooking instead and ignore the feelings of hostility and anger.
Note
First of all, I would like to thank my beta reader MoonDragonLove for fixing up my grammar and such. I am very grateful for that.
Also, I just wanted to say that this is the first fanfiction I have ever written. I don't really have a great feel for it yet and I expect that after I finish it, I will probaly reflect on these first chapters and say 'WHAT WAS I THINKING? AHHHH'. I am completely open for advice, so if you have any suggestions on how to improve my writing, go ahead and say so! :D