Falling in Love: Seth Finding his Imprint
By Brittlyn Nutter
Since I was only 14, almost 15, and starting in my first year of high school, I was really nervous about making new friends. I did have friends, but none of them really listened to what I had to say. I lived on the reservation my whole life and knew pretty much everyone.
I have always been described as a quiet, well-reserved person with a big heart and had fragile emotions. To an extent, this was very true. I was always a quiet person and did have a big heart. But emotionally, I wasn't as fragile as people thought I was. People never really got to know me any better to really tell the difference.
There were very few people who actually knew me that well. Though the people that did know me that well never really talked to me. I always hung out with the same five or six people every day at school. I didn't talk very much even with the people that I did hang out with every day for the last 15 years. I never talked because I felt like my opinion never really mattered. Or I would even feel like no one wanted to hear me talk.
I sat there every day just listening to the stories that the others had to tell. I would always be like the fly on the wall around people. Even in class I never said anything unless I really had to. It wasn't because I didn't want to give an answer, but was always afraid of looking stupid in front of people. It didn't help when people didn't understand who I really was and constantly feeling like I was being judged for being myself.
On that first day of high school a lot had changed for me. I still had the same friends and had both of my parents, but they fought a lot which drove me nuts and caused me to leave the house a lot. Over the summer though, I had really started to develop as a young woman. I had become curvier in some places and skinnier in others. I wore a new shirt that had slits in the sleeves and had a really cute design on the front. I wore some short shorts to school with that shirt.
As I walked in, I noticed some of the guys watching me. It was some of the guys who normally hung out with Sam, Paul and Jared. I knew the youngest one who happened to hang out with them. His name was Seth Clearwater. He had an older sister whose name was Leah. She seemed to hate everyone so much. But I seemed to be right at the top of her list with Sam and his fiancé Emily.
I don't know why Leah hated me so much, but she really did. That's when Seth came up to me as I walked down the hall to go to class. He had his usual warm smile that went so well with his personality. I smiled back at him, waiting for him to speak first. Seth and I had a few classes together and had hung out a few times, so he knew the kind of person I was. I couldn't ever look him in the face though. I had to admit I had a crush on the boy I grew up with.
"Hey Brittlyn! I hope you had a great summer! I wish we could've hung out some more. I really missed seeing you." Seth said cheerfully.
"I know! I had an ok summer. It honestly could have been so much better. I missed seeing you to Seth. Why don't we hang out soon?" I asked the buff boy standing next to me.
"How about tonight at my place then?" Seth asked.
I turned to look Seth in the face. I was shocked to hear him ask. I looked him in the face to see if he was being serious. He was, but as I looked at him, something about him suddenly changed. I shook my head a little bit. I must've just imagined that something was different. I smiled a little bit before speaking.
"That actually sounds nice Seth. I'd love to come over to your place." I said before the bell rang for class.
I waved to the boy who was standing there in the hall. I went to classes that day, finding people to sit with in each class. I was kind of excited and kind of nervous about going to spend time with Seth. He was in a good mood all the time. That eventually put me into a good. He was like a ball of sunshine. Always so bright and sunny.
When the day finally ended, I went home to change. After I changed and freshened myself up a little bit, there was a knock at my bedroom door. I was just about to text Seth, to see when he wanted me to come over. I answered my door first to see who was standing there. When I finally saw the boy form earlier that day standing outside my door, I felt a little shocked. He showed me his smile and I couldn't help but smile back at him.
"I'm here to walk you to my house. I hope you don't mind." Seth said.
"It's fine. I was actually just getting ready to text you and see when you wanted me to come over." I said back.
Seth grabbed me by the arm and we ran excitedly down stairs. I told mom and dad that I was going over to the Clearwater's house for a little while. They said that was fine. I was walking with Seth to his house when a few of the other guys he hung out with showed up.
"Hey Seth. I need to talk with you for a minute." Sam had told him.
"Ok. Can we talk when we get the house?" Seth asked.
"Sure. The guys can talk with Brittlyn and get to know her a little better." Sam said.
Seth nodded to Sam, like there was something I was missing in the conversation. When we got inside, I went to look around a little bit as some of the other guys sat down around the living room. I mostly looked at the baby pictures of Seth. I found one of him when he was only a few months old. He was wearing that same big smile then that he always seems to have with him now. I smiled at the picture of Seth before hearing some chuckles from the others that were watching me.
I quickly sat the picture down, feeling my face get red and start burning as I was easily embarrassed. That's when Seth walked in and pulled me to the couch with him. I sat down as everyone stared at us. My face was getting redder and hotter by the minute. Seth let out a surprisingly low growl at the guys. When he did that, I found it surprisingly attractive. It was very deep and very protective. My mind started clouding over with what being with Seth would be like. I quickly pushed the thoughts out of my mind as the guys laughed.
Seth turned the TV on to some game that was happening. One of the guys moved up to the couch beside me. It caused me to move closer to Seth, who was feeling a little sheepish at the moment. I know how he felt, but I for some reason had a feeling the guys were doing this on purpose though.
Over the next couple of weeks, Seth and I had spent more time together. We had switched between going to his parents' house to my house to being at Sam and Emily's place. I had found myself growing more and more attached to Seth. I was starting to feel more and more in love with him every day. I couldn't stand to be away from him for too long because it made my chest start to hurt.
One day when we were at Sam and Emily's, I was feeling especially tired. I had sat down next to Seth, who was my best friend and the person I was closest to. I curled up against him as I laid my head on his shoulder. I had grown used to his unusually high body temperature. His warmth felt so nice to me that I feel asleep. As I slept, I had an amazing dream of me and Seth starting to date.
We were going on our first date at the beach. Seth had brought a picnic, asking me to only bring myself and a blanket. We sat there on the beach enjoying being with each other. We laughed and smiled at each other. Seth wrapped his arms around me, keeping me warm in the evening breeze. We watched the sunset as we sat there. I ran my hand up and down Seth's chest as I felt very comforted just being in his grip.
"Brittlyn? I need to tell you something." Seth said, pulling me away from him.
"What is it Seth? What's wrong?" I asked looking concerned.
"I love you!" Seth just burst out.
I smiled at Seth. "I love you Seth!"
That's where the dream ends, before I wake up to see stunned faces staring at me. I look around very confused. When I look to Seth, I see the surprise in his face. I realized then that I must have been talking in my sleep. I could feel the tears threatening to spill over as my face started growing red and hot. I jumped up, grabbing my stuff and ran out the door.
I started walking home before I felt a hand grab around my arm. The grip was a little tight, but it was one that I knew all too well. I stopped right where I was before looking down to the ground. I couldn't look at Seth right now after what I just said. I felt him turn me towards him and gently put his arms around me. He hugged me to his warmth. I was confused as to why he had been so warm lately.
I put my arms around him and buried my face into his firm, yet soft chest. I cried because of how embarrassed I felt. I stayed in Seth's embrace for a few minutes just trying to calm myself down. It felt nice to have him hug me. It's something that I'd wanted for a few years now. Once I was finally calm, I pulled away and continued to look down.
"I'm sorry Seth. I didn't mean to let all this slip out now. I didn't think something like this would ever happen." I explained to the boy in front of me.
"It's ok Britt. I completely understand how you feel. Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you about something." Seth said, seeming a bit nervous.
I looked at Seth a little confused. I waited a minute before saying anything. "What is it Seth?"
"Well it's kind of hard for me to say to someone like you. I felt this pull toward you for a few weeks now, and I know you've felt it for me too. I really wanted to tell you sooner, but the guys, mostly Sam, convinced me to wait for a little bit before saying anything to you." Seth rambled on.
"What are you trying to tell me Seth?" I asked, still confused.
"I think… I know I'm in love. With you." Seth said, looking down in embarrassment. His cheeks had a little bit of pink in them. I guess this is his first time ever telling a girl this.
"Seth… This is the best thing I've ever heard from someone. I felt this love for you for more than a few weeks. More like a few years." I said.
Seth took me into a hug again. He looked into my eyes with those big, soft brown eyes of his. I could feel this tugging in my chest. I felt like I was being pulled towards Seth. I smiled at him before hugging myself to him. I wrapped my arms around his abdomen and laid my head on his chest. He was a little taller than me, so it made it easier to lay my head on his chest.
I felt Seth's arms go around me gently. His warmth was something I still needed to get used to, but it felt nice in the cooler weather today. He felt me shiver as his arms wrapped around me. He held my hand and pulled me back towards Sam and Emily's house. When we got there, some of the other guys looked like they wanted to apologize. Sam had let out a growl towards the other guys. They all said their apologies to me. I smiled at them and told them that I appreciated they apologized. I still clung to Seth's arm though as I got to know them.
Before I could even go to sit down with Seth, I was pulled into the kitchen by Emily. She wanted to talk to me now that Seth and I are dating. I couldn't help but notice the scars on her face. I didn't stare at them, but I did wonder how she got them though. There were other girls that were dating some of the other guys, but they stayed with them though.
Emily asked me all kinds of questions. She wanted to know everything she could possibly find out about me. I happily answered any questions she had. I was blushing at some of the questions I was being asked. Emily smiled at my blushing. Seth turned occasionally to see us talking. Emily had finished cooking dinner for the guys. She made me a plate and placed it in front of me without even asking.
The guys got their food not long after me. I sat at the counter as everyone else was with each other. I was zoning out as I ate, so I didn't notice everyone staring at me as I ate. I was stuffing my face with the delicious food. When I was finished, I turned to get up only to see everyone staring at me. My face felt like it was about to burst into a giant flame. I went to place my stuff in the sink. I thanked Emily for the food before telling everyone goodbye.
I started walking home in the chilly weather. As I walked home, I felt a warm hand wrap around mine. I looked over to see Seth walking with me. He wore his usual warm smile as he held my hand and walked me home. I couldn't help but smile when I saw his smile. He made me feel so happy when we were together.