Alright. So this is my first Dynasty Warriors Fanfic. Im gonna try not to blow it because I suck at fight scenes and blah blah blah the only fan fictions I've written are humors, which this is --, So heres the disclaimer….

I don't own Dynasty Warriors

And onto the story….

A Time of War

Chapter 1

Fear the Wrath of Sun Ce

Sun Ce awoke from a deep slumber to greet the early morning sunshine. He stretched out with a yawn and started to pull the sheets off of him. He got off the bed, unbeknownst to him that he a bed sheet was wrapped around his leg. As soon as the gleeful young man started to walk, the sheet pulled his leg back mid stride causing Sun Ce to slip. A growl of pain and frustration escaped his lips. Damn that Lu Xun! Sun Ce thought. Lu Xun was always pulling pranks when he wasn't under the watchful eyes of Zhou Yu. Sun Ce got up, untied the sheet from his leg and continued on with his day.

The slightly pissed Sun Ce made his way into the dining hall to get some breakfast. He walked up to the table of honour where all the children of Sun Jian and other highly ranked people such as Zhou Yu sit. As Sun Ce sat down in his chair beside Zhou Yu, he sat on his breakfast, which he suspected, was placed there conveniently by Lu Xun. He turned his head and grinned angrily at Zhou Yu, eye twitching.

"Why didn't you tell me my breakfast was on my chair?" Sun Ce held in his rage, not wanting to take it out on his best friend. Zhou Yu grinned at his childish friend.

"Lu Xun is good at pranks is he not?" Sun Ce glared at Zhou Yu. Damn you Zhou Yu! Now you're against me too? Damn it all! Sun Ce mentally yelled as he stormed out of the room, still wearing his breakfast on his behind.

Meanwhile, in his small room filled with tactical maps and other strategist things, Lu Xun giggled uncontrollably, knowing that Sun Ce was probably so pissed that he was imagining what he could do to him with not just weapons, but everyday objects that would be conveniently placed in the room. Without Lu Xun noticing, Gan Ning entered the room. Gan Ning wanted Lu Xun to notice that the incredible Gan Ning was here so with a big breath Gan Ning shouted at the top of his lungs.

"ANNOUNCING THE ENTRANCE OF THE INCREDIBLE (poor impression of a drum roll) GAN NING!!!!" Gan Ning ended off, flailing his arms in the air. He was slightly hurt when he noticed Lu Xun was paying no attention to him. He pouted and sat beside Lu Xun and started to poke him. Lu Xun felt his patience slipping away, and he cast a quick glance over at his blades. He mentally slapped himself for ever thinking about killing his very, very, very annoying friend.

"What?" Lu Xun finally responded. Gan Ning smiled stupidly.
"Hi!" Lu Xun went red. He started yelling words at the top of his lungs which Gan Ning didn't want to try and understand. Lu Xun picked up the nearest object (which just happened to be one of his blades) and threw it at Gan Ning, not knowing what he was throwing. Gan Ning's eyes went wide and he ran out, ducking for cover. Lu Xun finally noticed what was going on, but was happy to see Gan Ning was safe. When he looked out the doorway, he was sad to see that Lu Meng however, was not.

Yes Lu Meng. How sad is it that and innocent bystander gets stabbed by a stray blade tossed by an angry strategist. Lu Meng was slumped against a wall, wading in his own blood. Lu Xun panicked, and looked to see Gan Ning running for help. Gan Ning brought back Sun Ce. Sun Ce forgot the task at hand when he saw Lu Xun. Sun Ce chased Lu Xun, his weapons in hand. Gan Ning ran to get help again. He brought back Zhou Yu, someone who could help. Sun Ce was beating Lu Xun into a corner when suddenly….

"Im sorry! I slept with your girlfriend!" Lu Xun shouted. He blushed when he figured out that this gruesome beating wasn't about that. But he knew that wouldn't last too long. Anyway Sun Ce got angry, beat the shit out of Lu Xun, and went to bed. Zhou Yu had successfully helped Lu Meng, now he had to work on Lu Xun. He handled this by throwing Lu Xun out the window. Now he too could go to sleep.

Meanwhile a bloody Lu Xun lay unconscious at the foot of the castle. A figure wearing a white robe walked up to the Wu strategist and smirked.

"Oh how my lord will love this!" The figure proceeded to give Lu Xun medical attention, and drag him through some nearby woods.

The next day, Sun Jian woke up to green envelope that read, RANSOM on it. Sun Jian figured it was from Liu Bei. In fact he knew. If the green envelope hadn't given it away, then certainly the writing "Love from Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei" would. Sun Jian sighed and opened the letter. He was both amused and outraged. Liu Bei had drawn a crude drawing of himself, holding a sword to Lu Xun's neck, with a line that told anyone this was apparently his "Pretty Picture". He read on finding out Lu Xun had been captured and what they wanted in return for him. Sun Jian sighed again. It wasn't and overly impossible task. But it definitely wasn't going to be easy.

Sun Jian walked into Sun Ce's room. He had stolen Sun Shang Xiang's makeup, and was putting it on Sun Ce. The sleeping boy turned in his sleep, making Sun Jian draw a line of lipstick from the end of his lips, to the bottom of his ear. Sun Jian applied some eye shadow, and then quickly hid the makeup. He then woke Sun Ce from his slumber.

"Morning pops! What's going on?" Sun Ce yawned. Sun Jian looked at him. He needed a lie.

"Oh, um….good son. Listen I have a favour to ask of you! Today is Shu's contest called, dress your sons up as girls and send them over to Liu Bei, er, Day. We need you to where some women's clothes and go over to Shu. If you win, you will not disgrace our family, oh, and you will get whatever you desire, courtesy of Liu Bei!" Sun Ce stared at Sun Jian, and then smiled awkwardly.

"Sure dad! I'd never bring dishonor to our family by not dressing up as a girl!" He walked away, humming to himself like he had seen Sun Shang Xiang do many times before. Sun Jian slapped himself and muttered….

"Whether you try to or not, you will." Sun Jian walked out of Sun Ce's room to awake Zhou Yu, and proceed with the list of ransom.

Zhou Yu awoke because of an annoying tapping on his forehead. He opened his eyes to find Sun Jian sighing. Sun Jian got on the floor. He knew this was going to be the hard part.

"Lord Sun Jian what are you…." He was cut off.

"Please Zhou Yu I beg of you! Accompany Sun Ce to Shu and present yourself as his husband!!!!" He looked up, ready for the worst to find a thoughtful Zhou Yu. Sun Jian's next thought, Oh god Zhou Yu is gay! But he noted of that being a good thing in this case.

"Okay, I'll do it!" Zhou Yu announced. Sun Jin never thought he'd be happy to have a gay general in his army.

"Thank you. Now you need to act as husband-like towards Sun Ce. Got that Zhou Yu?" Zhou Yu gave a rare smile, nodded, and skipped out of the room happily. Zhou Yu, skipped? What is this world coming to?! Thought Sun Jian. Now his only worry was the final part of the ransom note.

Sun Jian peered around the corner to find Sun Quan brushing his beard. Sun Jian thought that was incredibly weird. Sun Jian snuck into the room, took Sun Quan's knife, and raised it over Sun Quan's head and…….

"DADDY!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!???" Sun Quan started to cry as Sun Jian proceeded to cut of all of Sun Quan's hair except his beard. When Sun Jian was done, he told Sun Quan that he needed a big kid favour. Sun Quan nodded while sucking his thumb. Once he thought Sun Quan had listened to him enough to get the plan inside that small brain of his, Sun Jian left Sun Quan's room, while Sun Quan rubbed his newly shaved head.

It was time to depart for Xu Chang, which Liu Bei currently called his home. Sun Ce was pissed off at Zhou Yu for grabbing his ass to many times, Zhou Yu was keeping his hands to himself seeing as he did not want any more slap marks on his face. Sun Quan rode into the wagon in a baby carriage, and sat there for the entire ride, asleep, like a baby.

Sun Ce was already board and they had barely left Jiang Dong. He started to make polite conversation with Zhou Yu, who cringed and scooted over beside the baby carriage. "Baby" Sun Quan hit Zhou over the head with his rattle. Sun Ce sighed and went to sleep. Now it was only Zhou Yu who was awake. Zhou had an evil, perverted smile on his face as he crawled over to Sun Ce's sleeping form and……………SLAP! Sun Ce was awake again. "She" Quickly took Sun Quan's rattle and hit Zhou mercilessly over the head again, and again, and again. Eventually Zhou Yu slipped into unconsciousness (half way to their destination, cuz Sun Ce was hitting him over the head with a rattle) and Sun Ce took rope and tied Zhou's feet and hands together. He too went to sleep.

I hope the chapter wasn't that bad. It's my first Dynasty Warriors fic. I'd love any criticism anyone might offer to better my story!