Chapter 1
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter was convinced that her personal life was to forever remain a mess. Her father was lying in a hospital bed in the SGC just two weeks before her wedding day, and he was dying. Everyone knew it was only a matter of time.
Just a few hours before, Pete had shown her a house, a wonderful, beautiful house-that Sam hated with every fiber of her being. And for a short time, everything had made sense. Pete wasn't the man she thought she loved, Jack O'Neill was. Sam had to admit that her father had been right in his unspoken dislike of the cop, no matter how much it had irked her at the time.
After that revelation, Sam had gone to Jack's house, intent on talking with him-finally saying what she had avoided for so long-only to find CIA agent Kerry Johnson there, in his backyard. Her whole world collapsed and Sam once again felt lost.
A phone call from the base telling her that her father had collapsed was all Sam needed to top off what she considered to be one of the top five worst days of her life.
Right now, all she wanted to do was have someone hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. Her father was her first bet, Daniel was the back-up, but neither of them was available. Even Teal'c was gone. So instead, she sat alone in the observation room, watching as her father spent what little time he had left saying good-bye to some of the Tok'ra.
For the first time that day, something went right though. While neither of her first 'someones' were available, her third and favorite, despite being her least likely, and often emotionally unavailable, option decided to walk through the door.
"You OK?" Jack O'Neill asked as he plopped down in the seat next to her, choosing to ignore the Colonel's red, puffy eyes.
"Actually, I'm fine. Good, even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years ago. Since then, we've been closer than we ever were in my whole life. In a way, Selmak gave me the father I never thought I'd know," Sam claimed.
"C'mere," Jack insisted as he wrapped his arm around Sam.
With Jack's arm wrapped around her, Sam let every fear and worry she had fade from her mind for the first time that day, and just enjoyed the comfort he was providing her. 'Jack O'Neill gives the best hugs,' Sam admitted to herself, 'And his half-hugs are almost as good as the full ones'.
For the first time all day, Sam found a sense of peace in the hurricane that was her life. "Thank you sir," she said.
"For what?" Jack whispered.
"For being here for me," Sam offered.
"Always," Jack promised.
The peace Sam felt didn't last long though, as she was force to leave the comfort of Jack's arm and say her last good-bye to her father.
For the next three days, Sam was caught in a torrential downpour, literally and figuratively. General O'Neill had called Mark not long after Jacob had collapsed and put him and the rest of the Carter on the first military flight to Colorado Springs with the hope that he would make it in time to see Jacob. They didn't. Instead, Sam met them at the airfield with the news of Jacob's passing.
Rather than being the comforting brother Sam desperately need, Mark had struck out in anger. Sam knew most of his ranting was only because Jacob's death had caused him to open the floodgates once again to the pain and anger that their father had caused over the years. Being told 'classified' only worked so many times before a person wanted something more. And Mark Carter wanted something more than 'classified' to explain his father's death.
Two days later, things between Sam and Mark weren't any better as the retired Major General and unsung galactic hero's ashes were laid to rest next to his wife, as the crowd watched from under umbrellas. Mark disliked the military funeral that Jacob had received, but his anger had seemed to find a brief pause when the President of the United States had sent Lt. Colonel Paul Davis and Major General George Hammond with his condolences for their loss.
Sam's brief respite from Mark's anger and the rain was short lived as after the funeral and wake, Sam met Pete outside of the recently purchased house. She sat with him and handed him back her engagement ring, claiming that things between them just weren't meant to be.
In Sam's opinion, Pete had taken things surprisingly well. But she was shocked when she had returned to her house to find an even angrier Mark there waiting for her.
"Why did you break it off with Pete?" he demanded before Sam had even gotten out of her car, coming out in the pouring rain to meet her.
"I'm just not ready," Sam claimed, intentionally vague.
"If this is just because Dad died, Sam, I'm sure that Pete would take you back in a second and forget this ever happened. He's an understanding guy, he'd be willing to wait until you are ready," Mark insisted.
"I don't want to talk about this Mark. It doesn't involve you," Sam said, trying to end the conversation right there and escape out of the rain.
Mark continued to press on though. "When my little sister and one of my best friends are involved, I would say that it involves me."
Sam didn't get the chance to respond to Mark's argument because her cell phone rang. "Carter," she answered.
"Colonel," Walter Harriman said, "General O'Neill asked me to apologize for interrupting your time with your family, but Teal'c is back and he needs your expertise."
"I'll be there in 20," Sam promised, hanging up the phone and getting back into her car. "I have to go," she said ignoring her brother's glare. Sam had never been so glad to have a phone call from the SGC interrupt something until that moment, well except for a couple of days before when it saved her a really embarrassing scene at the General's house.
She managed to be almost dry by the time she reached the mountain. A change of clothes into her BDU's took care of any lingering wetness, but Sam felt drained, like she was swimming upstream, against the raging current. This feeling continued as she set the self destruct and then aborted it after the threat from Anubis seemed to end, for no real reason.
General O'Neill ordered her home to sleep and apologized for pulling her away from her family. Sam didn't say anything, just accepted his dismissal and went home, hoping that the late hour would mean that the rest of the Carter family would be asleep already.
'Must have used up all of my luck avoiding the destruction of the galaxy,' Sam thought when she was the light in her living room was still on.
Mark was sitting in the living room, watching something on TV. He turned off as soon as she entered. Mark followed her to the kitchen where Sam got herself a cup of coffee and sat down at her kitchen table. Mark followed her actions, choosing to sit across from her.
"Have you thought about what I said?" Mark asked, trying once again to force the issue.
"If you mean about me and Pete getting back together, then no, not really. I need to figure some things out right now and I can't do that with Pete breathing down my neck," Sam offered.
"Then why call the wedding off and break up with Pete?" Mark questioned.
"I can't ask him to wait when I don't know what I want or even when I will know," Sam explained.
"Then there's a chance that the two of you could get back together," Mark pressed.
"I guess," Sam relented just wanting this conversation over with. She was tired and had to be back on base for a morning briefing.
"Great!" Mark exclaimed. "I'll tell him to give you a call."
"No Mark, tell him that if I decide I want to pursue things, I'll call him," Sam insisted.
Any sense of calm that may have been in the house, quickly disappeared as Mark slammed his now empty mug of coffee down on the table. "You can't just break things off and then decide on a whim that you want to get back together," Mark yelled and then lowered his voice as he realized that being loud would wake his family. "Pete's a good guy that could have his pick of women. And you could be that lucky woman Sam, but no guy will wait forever. Between your job and taste in men, you'd be lucky to end up with someone like Pete."
Mark's tirade was interrupted at this point by his wife, Karen. "Mark Carter!" she said as she walked into the kitchen, standing at the head of the table. "Leave your sister alone before you wake up the kids."
Mark just stared open mouthed at his wife.
"Go to bed and cool off," she ordered in the 'don't argue with me' tone of voice. "We have to leave early in the morning to go to the airport, in case you've forgotten," she reminded him.
Mark glanced at his sister before leaving the kitchen in a rush.
Karen took Mark's seat, and looked at her sister-in-law. "Mark means well, you know, he just doesn't understand that us women like things a very particular way. If you're not convinced that Pete is the guy for you, then don't marry him Sam. Take the chance to step back and figure out what you want, especially now right after Jacob's death. You were much closer to Jacob than Mark, and I'm betting he left you with some words that are making you think." Seeing Sam's nod of agreement, Karen continued, "Get that boss of yours to give you a few days off and do something so that you can clear your head, you need it."
"I do," Sam admitted and stood up from the table. She went to the sink and washed out her mug along with Mark's and put them in the dishwasher.
Karen didn't move, instead remaining seated at the table.
Sam turned around and looked at Karen's face which showed that she was in deep thought. "Was there something else Karen?" Sam asked.
"Not really," Karen replied, smiling slightly at her sister-in-law, "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I know Mark hasn't made this," she said sweeping her arms around as she spoke, "Easy on you."
Sam shrugged her shoulders, "You get used to it after a while."
"Still, you shouldn't have to go through this alone," Karen insisted.
"I'm not," Sam replied, almost on a reflex. Seeing Karen's disbelieving look, she continued, "Trust me, my friends are like my family. While they might seem to be 'missing' right now, the second you guys are out the door, they'll be here."
Karen nodded accepting this explanation and picked up a framed picture from a shelf. "Is this them?" she asked, handing the picture to Sam.
Sam took one glance at the picture and began pointing out the people, "That's Daniel, Janet, Cassie, Murray, and General O'Neill," she explained.
"Oh," Karen said, "I don't remember seeing any of them except the General at the funeral."
"They weren't there," Sam said, "Murray was out of the country visiting some old friends when Dad died, and there wasn't any way to reach him. Daniel is…pretty much in the same situation. Cassie is Janet's daughter and is away at college. She didn't want to come and we really didn't think she needed to be here."
"What about Janet?"
"Um…she died, about a year ago."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Karen insisted.
"You just doing what Mark isn't," Sam explained.
"Probably," Karen claimed, "But if you ever need to talk, just let me know, okay? I'm a phone call away."
"Okay," Sam relented as she gave Karen a hug. The two of them went their separate ways, both in need of a good night's sleep.
The next morning it was still raining outside. Neither sibling had cooled off from their argument, but they were able to be civil to each other as Sam delivered her family to Peterson. Good-byes were said and hugs were exchanged as Sam rushed to the mountain for her briefing with the General, Bra'tac, and Teal'c. Sam was relieved when Daniel made an appearance, naked, in the General's office. She wasn't sure that she could handle loosing someone else so close to her so soon. She was barely able to contain her desire to hug him until they were all alone, and even then it was difficult to pull away.
That evening, she wasn't surprised when the three men showed up on her doorstep with pizza and a movie.
"Colonel Carter," Teal'c began, "I have failed you as a friend. I was not here to stand by your side when you needed me most, and I hope that you can forgive me."
"Me too Sam," Daniel added quickly.
"There's nothing to forgive guys," Sam was quick to claim, too quickly. "There wasn't anything that you could have done if you were."
"You guys are my family," Daniel insisted, "And family should be there when they need each other."
"Indeed."
This is the point when General O'Neill jumped in. "Guys, we may not have been there when it happened, but the rest of her family was. We can be here now, if you'll let us Carter."
"Thanks guys," was all Sam could say as she became teary eyed. Daniel was quick to pull Sam into a much needed hug, quickly followed by Teal'c, and even Jack as they shared one big group hug.
The next morning, Sam noticed that the rain had stopped for the first time in days and the sun was shining. Sam's mood seemed to reflect this as she smiled her first real smile in days for no real reason. The guards at the security checkpoints seemed relieved to see their favorite female and most likely only, Colonel smiling again.
Within the next week, death hit the members of the SG-1 family again as Daniel received a phone call offering the news of Catherine Langford's death. Thankfully, Daniel seemed to be accepting of the news more so than Sam had been of her own father's death.
It was right after Catherine died while Daniel was preparing to speak at her funeral that General O'Neill insisted that they were all taking a vacation to go fishing. To Sam, it seemed almost to be an order, but she consented, knowing that she needed to get away and that there would be no better way than a vacation with her closest friends.
The best part came the day before Daniel was going to leave when a box arrived from Egypt, containing a ZPM and a video tape. Sam had to hide her giggle at the video tape version of Jack O'Neill telling everyone that "there's no fish in my pond."
Despite her own enthusiasm and general desire to play with her new toy, General O'Neill had snatched it away and sent her packing. Sam had been grateful for it even if she had protested because she got a chance to relax before she met up with the General for their early morning drive.