Again, Once More
SPOILER ALERT!
I will warn you all, right now, I don't live in Canada. I'm stuck in the US, with The-N; my guess on the actual happenings of these two episodes (Our Lips Are Sealed 1&2) are as good as any other non-Canadian.
I apologize in advance if my writing isn't accurate. I've read spoilers and episode summaries. I'm writing this to get the episodes out of my head (knowing The-N, I won't see this until summer... ).
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or CTV. I'm just a poor fan(atic).
Chapter 1) Old Habits Never Die
She's doing it again. Every morning she wakes up at the crack of dawn to run a mile or two. Her breakfast and lunch remain untouched; what her mother and Mr. Simpson don't know, won't hurt them, she reasoned.
"I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view 1," She sings almost cheerfully, quoting a Manic Street Preachers song. She feels great. Running in the early hours of the morning seems to be working wonders. The 98 sit-ups she did last night could be a factor too.
"Emma! Why are you still up?" asked Christine "Spike" Nelson, "You don't have to be up for two hours." Emma gave a small jump as her mother entered the small kitchen.
Spike eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion. "Emma, are you alright?" A slight tilt of her head, and a confident swish of her blonde mane.
"Mom," a fake, yet deceiving, sincere smile with a relaxed stance tops off her lie. "I feel so much better. I'm talking to the school counselor." This is a lie.
"And, I don't feel so pressured anymore. I know I can come to you or Snake if I'm having a problem." Again, that was a complete and utter lie. Spike stared at her teenage daughter with a scrutinizing glance. Emma seemed to be sincere, but something didn't seem quite right.
"Are you sure, Em?"
Again a false smile and, "Of course, I came down for an early morning snack. I'm starving!" Another lie that made Emma want to cringe in shame. She hated lying to her family, but this disease was something she needed. It gave her a sense of control; the weight loss was merely a perk.
"Well, don't let me intrude; I just came down to heat a bottle for Jack." Emma smiled slightly at her mother's offhand comment. Although he is almost three, Jack still preferred a warm milk bottle to help him sleep.
"Don't give me that look, Emma," Christine joked, not noticing that her daughter's grin did not quite reach her eyes. Suddenly her facial features became more serious and her voice hardened a little.
"Well, go on," she stated, referring to Emma's afore mentioned snack. She had to eat, Emma realized. She had no choice; her mother was testing her to see if she was getting better. Emma approached the fridge in a seemingly nonchalant manner, while internally, her stomach dropped in fear. It would be horrible to eat after running for the last hour and a half. Emma felt trapped. She was a death-row inmate, trapped in the kitchen, with the refrigerator playing the part of the executioner.
"Quod me nutrit me distruit 2," Emma muttered in a breath-like whisper. She eyed to food cautiously; it was the lethal injection that would knock her out forever.
"There is some left over cake on the top shelf," called Christine from the bottom of the stairs. "I'll be down in a minute, Em; chocolate cake sounds good right now."
"S-sure, Mom, I'll make a couple plates." She wanted to cry. Chocolate cake, God Lord, there must be at least 40 calories in one spoonful! And the fat content! A piece of cake could ruin her entire diet. My hands are shaking, Emma thought dully. She felt it coming on; she was losing control. Emma was stuck in a rock and hard place. To eat, or not to eat.
As she set out the plates of chocolate cake, Emma realized that she should have snuck in her bedroom window, even with the risk of waking Manny.
She's not paying attention, thought Archie "Snake" Simpson as he surveyed his Advanced Media Immersion class. Emma's attention span seemed to grow shorter with every passing day.
"Emma," he called out in a neutral voice. Emma looked quickly at her teacher and step father's voice. Black dots danced in front of her eyes. Dan cake, she reasoned. It had to be the cake.
"Emma!" Ah, yes that's why she had jumped.
"Yes," she inquired, hoping to sound as if she had been paying attention to Mr. Simpson's lecture.
"Please stay after class." After the usual rounds of snickers and "Ooooohs", the class resumed in its normal, uninterrupted manner.
Emma stood silently, waiting for the rest of the class to leave. Surrogate father, and daughter stared at random spots of the walls, out the glass window, or at a nearby flickering computer screen. Anywhere, but at each other.
"Ah." It was Mr. Simpson that broke the awkward silence. "Um, your mother seems to believe that you are recovering well; she mentioned that you had some chocolate cake this morning?" Snake scratched the back of his nervously. "So, uh, what I mean is… Emma, I'm not good at this kind of thing…" He smiled in embarrassment.
She smiles. What a good girl, a good little girl.
Another quick smile, "Yeah, Archie." The cute nickname serves to ease any lingering worries that Snake might harbor.
"You guys are really helping." A calm demeanor works perfectly. A bit more charm, and Mr. Simpson dismisses her; his worries appeased.
Emma left the classroom, her bright smile quickly giving way to more depressed frown. Her parents could be so frustrating sometimes! She was glad that they worried, but this wasn't a big deal! Okay, so once she had collapsed. It was just stress.
Manny, at least, seemed semi-normal about this. "I'm just trying to give you some space, some freedom." Or that's what she said, when Emma had questioned her distant behavior. Emma whole-heartedly believed Manny was still miffed about Peter. So, he had made a mistake; so had Emma. Even Manny had, as Emma reminded her when she had criticized Emma's relationship.
Peter was a good guy; he had helped her a lot after she was released from the hospital. A small, but truly sincere smile graced Emma's lips at the thought of Peter. I think I may be in love with him, she thought happily as she headed to her next class. Her disease was momentarily forgotten.
The line is a lyric from Manic Street Preacher's, 4St. 7lb. 'Tis a good song; I recommend it!
This is an almost universal "Anorexia Quote". It means "What nourishes me, also destroys me".
Any grammatical errors (the sentence fragments were left as I could not fix them without damaging the story. Any spelling errors are due to this crappy computer.
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