Judas's pre-suicide thoughts. Particularly influenced by Drew Sarich's performance.

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"You'll have to decide,

whether Judas Iscariot

had God on his side" - Bob Dylan

Jesus, that fool.

Jesus, that imbecile.

Jesus, that...

Man.

He was just a man. How could I see it otherwise? I expected him to know, didn't I? I expected him to be more didn't I?

It would have gone better if you had it planned.

I expected him to be Christ, didn't I? The Christ. And yet I was the one who wouldn't believe it-him. I wanted him to be God, but a God I could control. I expected, I demanded.

Listen Jesus, I don't like what I see…

Ironically, you could say I believed in him more then anyone else. I alone expected him to be my idea of God, the God of my standards, the God of my motives.

I used to admire you, but now I despise you!

But wait, no.

I've been set up; it's not fair.

I've spattered with innocent blood; I will be dragged through the slime and the mud.

He knew I would do it. He didn't stop me, he didn't even try.

YOU WANT ME TO DO IT?!

I'm a pawn, nothing more. I'm a chess piece in his pointless game. He made me do it.

But that kiss that sealed his fate, the kiss that was like a blow to the head or a shot with an arrow.

A Parthian shot.

No human gesture has ever been so full of poison, so full of bitterness. A symbol of love and hate twisted together. From student to teacher, the pupil has betrayed the master. The pupil who didn't like what was being taught.

I've been your right-hand man all along…

I couldn't make him into the messiah I wanted him to be, the leader I wanted him to be.

I didn't have a chance. Should have known. He let himself be killed barely uttering a few words, I had no power over his iron will. He was stronger than me. He always was. No wonder he knew the whole time. He saw it coming. He saw my weakness, my childishness. He could see it in my eyes, couldn't he? From the moment he met me. He could feel his death in me. In my soul. I didn't trust him enough, I never really did.

No, NO!

I was used, it wasn't my fault. What else could I do? What else could I do?

I have been saddled with the murder of you.

I was afraid. I was confused. HE MADE ME DO IT! How was I supposed to know what would happen? Someone wasn't playing fair, someone sealed my fate. Someone was controlling it, someone had it planned.

Just don't say I'm damned for all time.

He made it so easy, he should have done something.

I can't help it. I couldn't have saved him

Right?

Right?

And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong…

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Oh come on; somebody review!