She said yes... To someone else. I'm not sure if you understand the pain of loving someone, loving them with every fiber of your being, and then watching them fall in love with someone else. I loved her. She was everything I didn't know I wanted or needed. She wasn't afraid to tell me off, she had a temper, she was patient, she was kind. She balanced out my hot headed impulsiveness. I loved her. I loved her so much. It broke my heart when I heard her talking about this other guy, how he was so cool, how he was strong, how he was perfect, how he was the man of her dreams. It hurt so much when I helped her, the girl of my dreams, gather the courage to ask him out. I hid my pain whenever she would talk to me about whatever that damn wolf had done recently. It hadn't even been six months when the wolf came up to me and asked if I thought that she, the girl that I loved with all my heart, might want to take the next step: marriage. I could barely hear what he said next, probably some narcissistic boasting about how no girl could ever resist him or something, through the blood rushing in my ears. I answered somehow and he left. The rest of the day was spent in a daze. I knew that she would say yes. She would always tell me how much she loved him and how any of their potential children would be adorable. Two days later she showed up at my apartment. I don't think I've ever seen her that happy before. She was practically glowing with happiness. She had barely gotten into my house before she hugged me tightly and started saying over and over again, "He asked me to marry him... He asked me to marry him..."
"Did you say yes?" I ask, hoping, praying that she said no. Even before she pulled back from the hug and looks me in the eyes I know. I know that the world must truly hate me. The world loves to torture me in the way that her eyes light up and her smile lights up the room. I know the world loves to hurt me in every way possible when that one word, with three tiny letters, is uttered so softly at first, then repeated louder in confirmation. I wince and smile, trying to hide my pain. She so wrapped up in her happiness that she doesn't notice the wince. She sits at the table and tells me every detail of the wonderful date leading up to the most romantic proposal ever. I smile when it's appropriate and nod at the right places because damn it all, I'm her best friend and while my world revolves around her, hers doesn't revolve around me.
How many times can a broken heart break? At some point it will never heal, and all that's left is dust swirling around in the empty cavity that it used to inhabit. You wonder how your heart is pumping blood when it's so broken. Tears don't help the pain and every breath hurts. You have to keep living you say to yourself. 'But why?' The snide little part of your brain asks. 'She obviously doesn't love you. She's going to have a wonderful love filled life with that Kouga. Why don't you just die? The pain will go away then.' You look over at the gun on your bedside table. You had a feeling it would come to this. You pick up the gun and sit on your bed. Staring blankly at the gun you think about your life. How everyone rejected you but her. Your best friend, your love, your goddess. You think of the way she smiles and the sound of her laughter. You think about all the good times you guys had growing up and how she would comfort you when the world shunned you. You think of the way your name sounded on her lips as you raise the gun to your head. Her face is the last thing you see in your minds eye before you pull the trigger and her name is the last word you utter. "Kagome."