Disclaimer: I do not own KHR! or any of its characters; Dino Cavallone, Hibari Kyoya and Rokudo Mukuro.
Warning: D1869, OOC-ness, -ness.
Claim: I own the fucking grammar mistakes.
It was a very normal day. Like every normal day, Hibari would bite everyone to death. Like every normal day, the Vongola boss wishes for his Cloud guardian to stop murdering everyone just because they exist. Like every normal day, Dino Cavallone and Rokudo Mukuro confess their love to Hibari Kyoya and fails miserably. Like every normal day, the fearsome prefect drives both the Cavallone boss and the illusionist crazy without even noticing.
Today however, is a tad bit different.
"Cavallone," the illusionist snickers with a dazzling smile, in which the prefect sends the most hateful glare. Mukuro takes no notice and continued as if everything is perfectly fine.
Everything was not fine.
No it wasn't.
But Mukuro, the fucking moron just smiled again and waves at the raven. "I've heard you proposed to Kyoya?" he turns to look at the blonde and said Cavallone boss smirks smugly. "Maybe," he hums as an answer.
The blue haired bastard, as Hibari describes him, merely raises an eyebrow elegantly before standing up. Hibari also does the same and his breath hitches. He's blushing, he's blushing goddamn it. Who the fuck blushes anyway? Mukuro chuckles delightfully at the sight of the great Vongola Cloud guardian's oddly pale cheeks burning red in frustration.
Before the prefect could speak, Mukuro tenderly places a finger on his soft pair of lips. "Kyoya," he purrs seductively and regrets it immediately as Hibari raises a knee and kicks him in the groin. Dino chokes on air in pure unadulterated humor and quiets down once Hibari looks at him.
"Kyoya," he begins, voice completely mature, "I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. I never proposed to you." The Cavallone furrows his eyebrows in attempt to be cute and kneels on one leg, pulling out a box painted with beautiful, beautiful shades of purple and white and black ribbons. "But it's a good idea, right?"
Dino can officially confirm that he's so fucking bad at flirting once a tonfa is properly introduced to his face.
Hibari snarls in annoyance. "Tch, you two just never stop. How many times must I say 'no' for you two impatiently idiotic bastards to understand that I don't feel any sexual feelings for you both?"
"Fuck," Mukuro mewls aloud. "Please do me a favor, Hibari Kyoya," he stutters and gapes and Hibari definitely looks amused. "Marry me—"
Hibari twitches a vein or two and pulls out his pair of tonfas before darkly declaring, "No." He rolls his eyes irritatingly and Mukuro hangs his head down in a mix of disbelief and disappointment. This hadn't been the first time. It also isn't the second time. The prefect was pretty damn sure that it's probably the millionth time already.
"Aww, Kyoya, don't be so mean!" Dino childishly argued, puffing his cheeks. Hibari resisted the urge to slam his tonfa up the Cavallone's jaw. "We could go out on a date, you know?"
Mukuro didn't hesitate to kick him in the face, grinning childishly. "Absolutely not. Do you want me to strangle your windpipe, Cavallone?"
Hibari sighed. As entertaining as it is to see the two Italians fight for such meaningless reason was, this was just too much. "Stop," he closes his eyes calmly. "Sit down."
At just that one word, Mukuro halts. Dino looks at him with pitiful, watery eyes. "I don't like to repeat myself," Hibari reminds warily to both of them. "Sit. Down."
They both immediately sat, suddenly acting loyal than loyalty itself. Hibari arches an eyebrow questioningly, looking at the bruised face of the Cavallone and the smug smile on the Kokuyo student. "I need you both to stop it with the ridiculous acts."
Hibari officially decided to commit suicide when Mukuro chuckles good-naturedly, "Kufufu, Kyoya, don't be so naïve. I'm sure you know that we won't stop until you submit to us."
"Of course I know. Which is why…" he places his hand on his hips warily, wondering if he really should stick with his decision or not. "I'll be going on a date with you both. Just once though," the last sentence is very necessary. There were glitters of excitement on the two pair of eyes. "But after that however, there will be no longer ridiculous marriage proposals and public affection such as flirting," he shot a sharp look at Mukuro, "hugging," he continued naturally, focusing his eyes on Dino. "…and kissing."
They both froze. Mukuro chuckled dryly, summoning his trident. "Oya, I don't remember kissing you. Did he steal your kiss?" he glares at Dino in pure hatred. The blonde deadpans. "Did not, I will never steal Kyoya's innocence, you dirty minded moron."
"I do ask you to not touch my possession so freely. Hibari Kyoya is mine and mine only. I will steal your fucking soul if you steal him from me."
Dino slams his forehead onto the teenager's, a challenging smirk on his face. "Same back to you. I'm going to kick your dear fucking ass, Rokudo Mukuro."
Hibari decides that it was late, and didn't bother to bid farewell and turned around, yawning tiredly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow or something," he shrugged. Mukuro kneed the Cavallone boss in the balls and watched in amusement as he kneels on the ground, clutching his groin. "What are you going to wear?"
He never really thought about it. And he didn't care much. "My normal uniform," he replies casually and Mukuro raises an eyebrow, helping the Cavallone up. "That's ridiculous. He's a freaking Mafia boss," he narrows his eyes towards the blonde. "And I'm an illusionist. I can create fake money. Surely you're expecting to go to some expensive Italian restaurant, yes? You'd think of wearing something fancy."
"Apparently not," Hibari brushes off the dirt on his jacket, swaying it gently. "Isn't it fine to just walk around Namimori? I don't like crowds," he tilted his head, not at all realizing that Dino was very much close to having a nosebleed and Mukuro is just enjoying the adorable sight of a very angry impatient motherfucker namely Hibari Kyoya acting so cute.
Dino smiled. "Whatever. Kyoya still looks cute even if he's not wearing anythi—" oh. Fuck. Mukuro looked calm enough to slam the end of his trident down his head. Hibari looks away as if he didn't give a damn. He didn't anyway. "I'm sick of this. You're such a goddamn pervert."
The illusionist grinded his weapon harder against the Cavallone's already bruised head, "Kufufu, you hear that? Kyoya says you're even more perverted than me."
Hibari rolls his eyes in sarcasm. "Actually no, you're both equally perverted. Don't touch me, filthy whores."
"We still get a date, right?"
"If you don't shut the fuck up you won't."
Apparently they did get a date.
In which FanFiction decided to fucking delete my two stories, 'Of Perverts and Herbivores' along with 'Newborn Fangirl'. I'll reupload 'Newborn Fangirl' in the M rated section and just discontinue 'Of Perverts and Herbivores'. Sorry to the ladies and gentlemen who were waiting for the two stories to update.
Unfortunately the D1869 smut story will be permanently deleted whereas my other story will be on hiatus for me to think of some ridiculous, non-mature ideas.
Anyways, this is my way of conveying love to D1869 because I love them and there's not much of this threesome. Actually I'm pretty fucking sure I'm the only one shipping them.