A/N: New Moon, Epov. Edward tries desperately to live with his decision to leave Bella. The very beginning, before he had collected himself enough to hunt down Victoria. Thoughts appreciated
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This, surely, was it. Curled against myself in arctic waters, too deep to see, cold enough for even me to feel – cold enough to crush thought. No way to feed, and no way to breathe, and thus freed of the now pain of blood and breath.
Distracted by the fire of never feeding.
Stiff with staying still.
It was miles and miles and endless fathoms of perfect blue. Perfect, featureless blue without a mark to remind me of her.
Without a moment to remind me of her.
Without anything to remind me of her.
Anything but the water. Anything but the distant, fathoms up sky.
Anything but my hands and my skin and her eyes that lived in mine.
Anything but the tiny, deep ripples moving against my lips and dreaming of her kiss.
Anything but everything.
Anything but 'perfect'.
A million miles of perfect blue ocean.
But never as perfect as her.