A/N:
In my personal Headcanon, Fred lives, because anything else is ridiculous. And this little tale is how I like to imagine it happened.
Un-betaed, so concrit is very welcome!
"I don't mean to be morbid, Harry," Hermione murmured, "but surely rigor mortis should have set in by now."
Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, Savior of the Wizarding World, Defeater of Supreme Evil, etc., etc., etc., followed her glance towards where Molly Weasley was sobbing over the body of her middle child. Clutching his hand to her face, Molly rocked back and forth as she keened loudly, causing Fred's elbow and wrist to bend gently with each rock.
Harry looked blankly back at Hermione, who huffed at him in a credible impersonation of her first year self.
"When a person dies, Harry, rigor mortis sets in between 12 and 18 hours. At first I thought that perhaps there was something different about magical corpses which would prevent rigor mortis from occurring, but that clearly is not the case." she explained, gesturing around the Great Hall, "My second theory was that perhaps different spells either prevent it all together or delay the process…"
Hermione would have continued on, but Harry had clearly lost the plot and was no longer processing her explanation so she elected to cut to the chase.
"I don't think Fred is dead. Yet."
Harry goggled back at her wordlessly. Hermione allowed her words to sink in for a moment before continuing to speak.
"And I think I know what curse he was hit with."
At this, Harry finally found words. "Well, of course you do. So go ahead and tell me all about it."
"Well, you see Harry, in every fairy tale there is at least a bit of truth. Did you ever watch Muggle Disney cartoons as a child?"
Harry nodded, "Ms. Figg." he offered as way of explanation.
"Beauty and the Beast? Based on a Muggle born girl who went to Hogwarts and reversed a botched Transfiguration! Belle DeRosiers was really the mother of modern Transfiguration theory...anyway that's beside the point. Cinderella? Abused House Elf! Married a wealthy pureblood wizard with the help of the witch next door. It was the scandal of the century. The Little Mermaid is almost entirely factually accurate. You know, except for the fact that mermaids are…"
"Hideous?" Harry suggested.
"Well, I didn't want to say it. But. Yes." Hermione smiled a bit despite herself. "And then we come to the root of it. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were actually both hit with the same curse. The same one I believe Fred is now under."
"So all we have to do is find his true love and have her kiss him?" Harry asked. "We could just get every witch here to line up and kiss him until he wakes up!"
"Unfortunately, it isn't that simple, Harry. The curse and the counter curse are some serious Dark Magic. Just performing the counter curse is enough to get Fred and whomever does it a trip to Azkaban."
"But that's ridiculous! It's the counter to the Dark Magic!"
"It's blood magic, Harry." Hermione replied softly, stilling his protests. "Luckily, the whole True Love part is a complete fabrication, we don't have to worry about that rot. I can perform the counter. ...If we can get him away from Molly Weasley. It can't be done here in the Great Hall and frankly, I don't want to give the Weasley's false hope in case it doesn't work. There's a very good chance that it won't work, even if I am right about which curse it is."
"I'll figure that part out. You go off and Hermione."
"Did you just turn my name into a verb?"
"Yeah. It means, roughly, 'Save someone's arse by being the brightest witch of our age.'"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh, even as she began making mental lists of which books she wanted to check in the Restricted Section. Hopefully Madam Price's wards have kept them safe.
Several hours later, Hermione found herself alone in a dripping dungeon with the naked body of Fred stretched out on a granite slab. She wasn't sure why the Room of Requirement had given her such a dismal room. It must be a reflection of the ritual she was about to perform
She carefully arranged the candles at cardinal points on the slab around Fred. Should have imagined a bigger slab, she thought to herself as she tried to figure out where she could fit herself inside the now-imaginary border created by the candles. With a sigh, she settled for kneeling over him, thighs straddling his waist. Hermione hurriedly rearranged her robes to provide as much of a barrier as possible between herself and his belly.
Hermione double checked the items she had brought with her one last time. Matches, both potions, apple, knife, iron goblet. Forgetting an item outside of the candle's border would prove deadly for Fred, and possibly herself as well. With a deep intake of breath, Hermione struck a match and began the ritual by lighting the candles. Once she began, she would be unable to use any spells unrelated to the ritual as the magic could prove a disruption to the ritual.
As Hermione lit the candles one by one, starting with East, a beam of light shot from one candle to the next. When she reached North, Hermione could feel a palpable hum as the Diamond sealed itself.
Hermione picked up the first potion, uncorked it, and poured it into the iron goblet. Hands trembling slightly, Hermione next picked up the knife. Steeling herself, she sliced first her right hand, then Fred's left and pressed them together, holding them both over the goblet. She watched as the mingled blood dripped into the goblet. When the liquid in the goblet began emanating a green tendril of smoke, she put the goblet aside with her left hand, continuing to clasp Fred's hand in her right.
Hermione picked up the second potion bottle and for lack of another option, uncorked it with her teeth. Hermione marveled at Harry's sudden burst of efficiency in quietly gaining the assistance of a few others, including Professor Slughorn, who brewed the potion now in her hand without asking too many questions, although he must have recognized it. The potion had no efficacy outside of this ritual. She wondered briefly if Harry's quick actions were a direct result of one of his famous guilt-trips in. Maybe helping to save Fred would alleviate the burden he would undoubtedly put on himself over the deaths of so many other friends in the war.
Hermione shook the thoughts from her head. Now was not the time for speculation on Harry's mental state. She quickly uncorked the bottle and poured the potion down Fred's throat.
His eyes flew open.
"Fred, I can't explain what's happening right now, there isn't time. Don't try to speak. I am going to need you to do exactly what I tell you, exactly when I tell you or you will certainly die and likely take me with you. Can you do that? Blink twice if you trust me."
Fred's eyes grew wider as she spoke and he hurriedly blinked twice.
"Firstly, you absolutely cannot speak while we compete this ritual." Hermione picked up the red apple and bit off a piece. She leaned down and placed her mouth on his, passing the piece of apple into his. "Chew. I'll explain what I can while you do. You're going to need to eat the entire apple, seeds and all." Once he had swallowed the first bite of apple, Hermione held the apple to his mouth where he could easily continue to eat as she spoke.
"You were hit by a Dark curse which was outlawed centuries ago. I expect right now you cannot move anything but your face, and probably are just now starting to regain feeling in your body. Blink if that is the case." At Fred's blink, Hermione continued speaking, "The potion that I gave you first repaired the damage that was done to your body at the battle. As you regain feeling, you should not feel pain. If, at any point, you experience pain, blink three times. Once you have consumed the entire apple, I will give you a second potion to drink. It interact with the potion and you will slowly begin to be able to move. No matter what, you must not speak, move outside of the Diamond, or let go of my hand." At that, Hermione held their conjoined hands up. Fred's eyes followed the small line of blood still dripping slowly down Hermione's wrist. "You might have guessed that this counter curse is also Dark Magic. The punishment for performing this ritual is a long stay in Azkaban." Hermione allowed her last sentence to sink in a moment even though Fred had nearly finished eating the small apple and she was almost out of time for explanations. "I'm counting on our status as Very Important War Heroes will prevent that, but it isn't a sure thing. If you would rather die than risk Azkaban, this is your last chance to decide that without killing me as well. Blink once if you want to stop. Blink twice if you want to complete the ritual." Fred hurriedly blinked twice and took the last bite of apple, his lips brushing Hermione's fingers as he did. As he chewed, Hermione picked up the goblet and continued speaking, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks, "Good choice. Once you swallow that bite neither of us can speak until the ritual is completed. Sit up as you swallow. We'll need to drink the second potion, alternating sips. You'll need to give me the last sip the same way I gave you the first bite of the apple."
As Fred swallowed and sat as ordered, Hermione took the first sip. Shuddering slightly as the foul tasting liquid hit her tongue, she tilted the goblet towards Fred, allowing him to drink as well. Fred grasped the goblet as well as they alternately forced sips of the still-smoking potion until finally Fred drained the last into his mouth and set the goblet down next to him. Hermione thought she saw something like trepidation in his eyes as he leaned forward, sliding his free hand around her back.
Fred's lips met hers, soft and surprisingly warm. She opened her lips under his and allowed him to pass the liquid into her mouth. Hermione deepened the kiss and was pleasantly surprised to hear a soft moan of pleasure from Fred as she did so.
Suddenly the Diamond began to hum again and the two broke apart to watch the lines of magic between the candles fade as the candles extinguished as one.
Hermione felt a grin split her face, "It worked!" she breathed softly. Just then, she realized she was still straddling his waist. And he was still completely unrobed. She leapt off like Salazar himself was on after her and handed Fred his battle-torn robes, determinedly looking everywhere but at his naked figure.
"Let's get you up to Madam Pomfrey and have her look you over." Hermione said as she headed to the door.
"Hermione?" she turned towards Fred to see an uncharacteristically solemn expression on his freckled face, "Thank you doesn't seem like enough. But...thank you."