"Gerard, are you listening to me?" Gerard looked up sharply and blinked a few times, startled by this abrupt interruption. "Gerard it is completely and utterly unacceptable how many times I have to practically wake you up. This is a class room and not only are you disrupting your own learning, you're disrupting the education of your fellow classmates. Have I made myself clear, Gerard? Because I will not be asking you again."
"Yes, Miss Kingsleigh," Gerard mumbled, propping his head up with his hand. He rubbed his eyes slowly before looking up at the whiteboard and seeing a lot of writing that hadn't been there when he had slipped into his day dream. Gerard was one of the most scatter-brained people that had ever existed.
"Gee," came a whisper from the desk adjacent to Gerard's. "Gerard, are you stoned?" It was Frank, Gerard's best friend, who was looking deep into Gerard's eyes and biting his lip in a worried fashion. Gerard just grinned at Frank. "I thought we agreed on no more smoking at school." Miss Kingsleigh shot the pair a stone-cold look.
"Not yet… tonight though…" Gerard murmured, glancing at the clock and wishing it was three o'clock already. He sighed in defeat, and turned his head back to stare blankly at the whiteboard.
.
How boring this is, Gerard thought, pulling out a piece of paper and beginning to mindlessly doodle. He could feel Frank's eyes on him the whole time he was drawing, putting pressure on him to not screw it up. It was just a doodle, but still… somehow it mattered when Frank was watching. Gerard drew and drew but the second that the bell rang, the piece of paper was snatched out from underneath his pencil.
"You're so fucking weird, Way," said Frank, studying each individual picture. "I mean a rabbit in a waistcoat with a watch? Why don't you go back to drawing skulls on fire or something?"
"I just draw whatever comes into my head. It's easy to let your mind become a blank canvas that your imagination can paint on. Well, it's easy in here. I can't stand these lessons… they're just so mind-numbingly boring. Too many words and not enough pictures, in my opinion. If I had my way, we would just use pictures for the whole lesson."
"That doesn't make sense," Frank scoffed. "Anyway, what is the plan for this party tonight?" Gerard grinned again, but even wider this time.
"Get as fucking wasted as possible."
.
The party was in full swing by the time Frank and Gerard rolled up, fashionably late, of course. Frank was dressed up like he was going to some kind of formal dinner in his black shirt and white tie whilst Gerard was in his usual oversized t-shirt and jeans with too many holes in them. It didn't take long before Gerard's 'friend' Dinah found them. She sidled over, pulling down the hem of her tight, red dress as she sat down next to Gerard on the couch. Frank coughed awkwardly as Gerard gave his friend a kiss.
"What have you got for me this week then, Dinah?" Gerard asked, a smile playing across his lips as he took another sip of his beer. Dinah fixed him with her big, blue eyes and smiled back, absentmindedly running a hand through her red hair. Gerard's hand slid absent-mindedly around her as he began stroking her back.
"Depends what you have for me, sweetheart." Gerard put his hand in his pocket and pulled out some money that Dinah almost immediately snatched out of his hand, stuffing it into her bra. Frank looked at her awkwardly. "What?" she asked. Frank immediately dropped his gaze. "I can't be carrying a purse around in here… someone will take it for sure! Anyway, Gee," she purred, switching her attention back to Gerard, who moved the can away from his face. "I got some new stuff in yesterday. Some guy called Gabe is supplying it… says it gives you a wicked high. You want to try some of that?"
"Is it… you know… safe?" Frank questioned. Dinah rolled her eyes.
"Does it really matter? You're going to get fucked anyway. But in answer to your question, no one has died from it yet." Frank scowled. "You could be the first, sweet pea, if you're not careful. Anyway, I've done it before and no harm came to me. Would I give you something I didn't trust, Gee?" She started playing with a strand of Gerard's hair and Frank shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Come on, you might as well give it a go."
"Give it here," Gerard said, holding his hand out. Dinah practically beamed and reached into the other side of her bra, taking out a small bag of pink powder. "I'll see you later," she whispered in Gerard's ear before planting a kiss on his cheek, leaving some of her red lipstick behind as she slunk away into the darkness of the house.
.
"I don't understand why you hang out with her," Frank said to Gerard after Dinah had left. "She's a whore!"
"Maybe, Frank, but I don't know anyone else who gives me such good deals on drugs. Let's go do this shit anyway," Gerard shouted over the music, standing up and beginning to walk away. Frank grabbed Gerard's hand, causing Gerard to stumble a little bit. "What, Frankie?"
"I don't know if this is such a good idea… you're already too far into these drugs anyway and I don't really want you to get onto more stuff," Frank said, putting his finger to his lips and biting one of his nails. "I mean, we're not even completely sure it's safe."
"Frank, I promise it will be fine. Dinah has been giving me a concoction of so many different drugs these past few months, and all of them have been safe. She never buys from suppliers she doesn't trust, and she never deals without trying the stock first. I know she may come on a little strong, but I trust her, Frankie. Just come do some with me and you'll see what all the fuss is about." Gerard pulled Frank into a standing position before leaning in to whisper in Frank's ear. "Please?" Frank couldn't resist Gerard's breathy tone. He sighed with exasperation and followed Gerard out the back of the house, heading for the shed that lay at the bottom of the garden, far away from all the raucous of the party.
.
The shed was empty, and Gerard beamed before clearing the work bench and setting out some neat lines of the perfect, pink powder. After finishing, he stood back and admired his work.
"We're not doing all of this, right?" Frank asked, staring in horror at the four lines of powder in front of him. Gerard nodded. Adrenaline was pulsing through Frank's veins. He wasn't a drug taker, just a drinker – and drinking was definitely enough for him.
"I'll go first," said Gerard, as if sensing Frank's worry. Gerard leaned over and did a line, standing up and tipping his head back afterwards, breathing in sharply. "That's fucking good," he croaked, before coughing a little. "Your turn!" Gerard grabbed Frank's hand like an eager puppy and nudged him forward to the work bench. Frank gulped and reluctantly leaned forwards. After taking a few deep breaths, he finally did it. Standing back up straight, he pulled a face of disgust before spluttering and taking a few large gups of his not-so-cold beer. Gerard laughed at him, drawing him into a hug. "You're cute," Gerard said, wiping a little of the powder off Frank's nose before doing his second line. Frank just blushed to himself, hoping Gerard didn't notice in the darkness.
.
They stayed in the shed for a while, drinking and waiting for the drugs to kick in… and when they did, they knew that Dinah was right. Gerard was beside himself with laughter – everything that Frank did became utterly hilarious in Gerard's mind whereas Frank could not concentrate one little bit. He kept flitting from thought to thought, not able to settle on one particular moment in time or one topic of conversation. He was talking so fast that he wasn't even sure that his sentences made sense anymore, or if Gerard could even understand him, but he just couldn't stop himself from speaking every thought that floated through his mind. Eventually, Frank went silent and Gerard crawled over to him, leaning right into Frank's face, his legs either side of Frank's body.
"You're interesting," Gerard said simply, cocking his head. Frank looked him confused. "I mean, you interest me. I get bored of everyone else so quickly… but I never get bored of being with you." Frank was blushing again and Gerard was so close that there was no way to hide it, so instead Frank ducked his head. "Hey, don't look away," Gerard whined, pouting a little and lifting Frank's face up to his once more. The closeness was all too much for Frank. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the drugs… he didn't know. All he knew was that if he didn't kiss Gerard right then and there, he felt like he would die. So he took Gerard's face in his hands and crashed their lips together. Gerard was so surprised by the sudden move on Frank's part that he lost his balance and fell forward, and the wall that Frank was leaning on revealed itself to be a door that they then fell through as it swung open.
.
Gerard propped himself up on his hands and swung his head up, flicking the tousled black hair out of his eyes. As he began to lean back down to kiss Frank again, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye.
"Look, Frank, a rabbit!" he exclaimed. Frank couldn't move for giggling and so did not make an effort to look at what Gerard was shouting about. "Frankie, look!" The rabbit was wearing a waistcoat and a red jacket, out of which he pulled an antique looking pocket watch. The rabbit jumped in the air and began to run off towards the end of the garden. "Frank, you need to see this! We have to go - come on!" Gerard shouted, scrambling to his feet and dragging Frank up with him. Frank could barely walk for laughing and so Gerard pulled him along, running at top speed along the grass. When he reached the fence at the bottom of the garden, Gerard saw a white, tufty tail vanish through a gap underneath one of the panels. "We have to climb over!"
"Gerard this is ridiculous!" Frank exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation, but before he could complain any further, Gerard was already half way over the fence. "And it was all going so well," Frank mumbled to himself before scowling and following Gerard over the fence.
.
They ran through the streets, hand in hand, searching for the rabbit in the waistcoat and jacket. Every now and again, they would see a flash of white as they turned a corner, but when they thought they had caught up he would be nowhere to be found.
"Mr Rabbit!" Gerard called out at the top of his lungs. "You're in such a rush… where are you going?!" Frank sighed.
"He probably can't understand you, Gee. He is a rabbit, after all."
"I have no time to talk!" sounded a squeaky voice out of nowhere. "I'm late and I'm can't dilly dally around here chitter chattering with you two. I'm late!" Gerard smiled triumphantly at Frank, who just rolled his eyes. As they turned a corner, they almost collided with the white ball of fur. "Good gracious, you young lads, you nearly knocked me off my feet!" Frank laughed at the rabbit's accent, which earned him a stony glare from both the rabbit and Gerard. The rabbit pulled his watch out of his pocket once more and squeaked. "I'm so late! I must dash, cheerio!" he shouted before hopping down the road again.
"Is he from England?" Frank asked, still amused by the way the rabbit had spoken. Gerard completely ignored him.
"Wait!" Gerard panted, starting to run after him again. "I want to come too! I want to know where you're going!"
"I'm going where I came from but I stopped at where I am coming from and yet I'm going where I came from when I was going to the place I am coming from and because I stopped at where I am coming from I am late getting to where I came from! Do you not understand me, dear boy? Am I speaking nonsense?"
"You can't come from where you are going!" exclaimed Frank, who was again met by cool glares.
"Dear Sir, it is you who is not making sense… not I!" the rabbit replied. "That is not what I said. You do not seem to understand that I have no time for these silly riddles because I am late." Without warning, the rabbit took a sharp turn and jumped through a hole in a wall that was only slightly bigger than a cat flap.
.
"We can't get through there, Gerard. I am drawing the line at crawling through a cat flap," Frank said, crossing his arms and standing firmly rooted to the ground.
"Well I'm going, and you can hardly let me go alone in my current state… can you?" Gerard asked, pouting playfully. Frank tried to suppress the smile threatening to betray him but failed miserably. Gerard pecked him on the lips before kneeling down and crawling through the tiny hole in the wall. Frank watched him, wondering what he had got himself into… but at least I'm with Gerard he thought, clambering through the hole with a new found willingness. It was a tight squeeze and the tunnel seemed to go on forever, but eventually Frank was able to stand up and found himself in an enormous room.
.
The walls were tiled with squares of different colours; some of them were skewed to odd angles which made the whole room even more confusing. Gerard was lying in the middle of the floor with his arms spread wide.
"Gerard why are you on the floor?" Frank asked, staring at Gerard's body. It looked as if Gerard was trying to press himself far into the ground.
"The ceiling is too low," Gerard mumbled. Frank tilted his head and stared up at the high ceiling.
"Gerard this room is enormous!" Frank exclaimed, almost expecting to hear an echo but none came. It was at that moment that Frank spotted to whine glasses on a golden tray in the corner of the room. The liquid inside was pink and fizzing, but not like a carbonated drink… more like something was dissolving in it. As Frank moved closer, he noticed the pink residue at the bottom and realised what it was that was making the liquid fizz. "Gerard there's more of that pink stuff in these drinks!" There was a little card on the tray, with a ribbon laced through holes punched around the border. It was cute, but it left Frank wondering who had left it here. Frank had to hold the card up to his face to decipher the elaborate handwriting.
'Drink me' it said simply.
.
Frank shrugged his shoulders and took both of the glasses over to where Gerard was sprawled out on the floor.
"Here, drink this," Frank said, handing one of the glasses to Gerard and watched him sit up a little to take a sip. It seemed ridiculous to Frank that Gerard couldn't sit up straight in the ginormous room, but at the same time Gerard thought the same about Frank who seemed to be standing up perfectly fine whilst Gerard's hair brushed against the ceiling. They both took a large gulp of the liquid and the result was remarkable – Frank felt as if he the room was closing in around him, the ceiling becoming lower and forcing him to lie down on the ground, just as Gerard had done before. At the same time, Gerard could see the room expanding and was finally able to stand up and stretch out.
"What the fuck just happened," Frank said, looking down at the tiny glass in his hands, completely bewildered.
"I have no idea," Gerard mumbled back, struggling to hold his giant glass up. "I think I shrunk."
"I think I grew," Frank responded. "Okay… so how do we get out of this room?"
"There's a door over there," Gerard answered. "But I'm too small to reach the handle and you're too big to fit through."
"Maybe if we swap glasses and take tiny sips until we're the right size, everything will be fine," Frank suggested, and Gerard nodded in agreement. So they swapped drinks and began to take sips, waiting until they had shrunk or grown a little before taking another. Eventually, they were the same size and Gerard gave Frank a hug so tight, he thought he would stop breathing. "Shall we go through the door?" Frank asked, peeling Gerard off him. Gerard nodded and took Frank's hand, placing his free hand on the doorknob. He turned the knob and pushed the door open with vigour, but instead of finding a corridor on the other side, he found a hole that he promptly fell in to, pulling Frank in with him.
.
They fell for what felt like minutes, but when they eventually came to a halt, they landed softly on a pile of purple pillows, Frank on top of Gerard. Instead of wondering where they were, Gerard began to giggle with a laugh so infectious that Frank soon joined in. However, they were soon interrupted by a large booming voice from above them. Frank looked up first and almost screamed in surprise, there was a man leaning over him with a mask on, covering half of his face. The mask hid all of his features except his mouth, but even that was obscured by the large, bulbous beak protruding from where his nose should have been. It wasn't a bird that Frank recognised, but Gerard sure did.
"Are you a dodo?" Gerard asked, looking up at the portly man. The man tugged on the sleeves of his dark purple jacket.
"Of course I am a dodo, sir," he said indignantly. "And what are you?" Gerard raised his eyebrows a little, perplexed by the question.
"I'm… a person?" he said slowly, furrowing his brow.
"A human?" the dodo questioned, putting a pipe in his mouth and lighting it. "Well, we don't get many of your type around here. I suppose you're a human as well?" He asked, cocking his head to the side and looking at Frank. Frank burrowed into Gerard's side a little and nodded silently. At this point, he didn't feel as excited about the adventure ahead of him. "A mighty shy human too, I suppose."
"I'm sure you're really a human too," Gerard said, looking the man up and down from his powdered wig to his strange, orange boots. "You're wearing human clothes."
"Good observation," the dodo said, blowing smoke into Gerard's face. "But why would I be human when I can be a dodo? Anything goes here in Wonderland." Both Gerard and Frank looked at him confused. "You fell down the rabbit hole and landed in Wonderland… So, welcome. Do feel free to take a tour around the place. Who sent you here?" But before either of the boys could answer, a white ball of fur attracted their attention from the other side of the room, disappearing amongst a bunch of potted plants. Gerard excused himself politely, dragging Frank up behind him and running off in pursuit of the white rabbit.
"Be sure to pop by and watch the Caucus race later on! It's terribly entertaining," the dodo called after them, but they did not hear him.
.
After pushing past what seemed like a thousand branches, Frank and Gerard appeared in a clearing.
"We're lost," Frank said, sighing and sitting down on the log in the centre of the area.
"How can we be lost… this place can't be that big," Gerard responded, looking around for an exit. "I mean it must just be the basement of the building that we got into. Oh look! This way!" Gerard exclaimed, striding towards a gap in the trees and what seemed to be a small, well-trodden foot path. As soon as he reached the opening, two figures jumped from either side of the entrance, blocking Gerard's exit and making him jump backwards abruptly, squeaking as he did so.
"Hello there, young sirs," the two men said in unison. They were short, almost half Gerard's height, and identical twins, both dressed in the same high-waisted red trousers with a yellow shirt tucked into them and a gigantic blue bow tie. "Going somewhere?"
"We're following the white rabbit," Gerard said, side stepping to try and get past the men, but his movements were mirrored by them.
"Why?" they asked in chorus.
"Because we're curious," Frank piped up, who was now stood behind Gerard again.
"Oh, we know a good story about some curious oysters if you would like to stick around and hear it," said one of the men. Gerard declined shortly. "Or we could play a game? Hide and seek? If you stay around, we might have a battle!" The man on the left swung a punch at the man on the right, who dodged it expertly. Gerard tried to push past them, but instead they both grabbed one of his hands each and began to shake them vigorously. "First, you must say 'how do you do', and shake hands!" they exclaimed, a sing-song tone to their voices."
"How do you do," Gerard said through gritted teeth holding out his hand, his patience wearing thin. "I'm Gerard, and this is Frank. May we please go now?"
"I'm tweedle dee!" said the man on the right, grabbing Gerard's hand and shaking it violently.
"… and I'm tweedle dum!" said the man on the left, snatching the hand from the other man to shake it. Gerard pulled his hand back and flexed his fingers – the small men really did have some power in their handshakes.
"Well, this has been a pleasant chat, really, but we really have to leave now… come on Frank," Gerard said, pushing past the twins once and for all and striding off down the path.
.
The walk along the path brought another sudden change that confused the two young gentlemen. They seemed to have walked out of an area of tall trees and into a valley of ginormous flowers. Although these flowers were twice the height of the boys, there were no strangely dressed men, no distracting conversations and no white rabbit.
"I think I'm coming down," Frank mumbled to Gerard, wiping his brow. "Everything is starting to feel a lot more… normal." Gerard just hummed softly in acknowledgement – Frank assumed he was feeling the same way. "Snowdrops!" Frank suddenly exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks and dropping Gerard's hand. The huge plant towered over Frank, the flower drooping down to the level of Frank's head. Frank leaned forward to smell it and was overwhelmed by the potency of the scent. His head began to feel strange again and he stumbled backwards a little. That's when he noticed the pink powder lining the inside of the plant.
"Oh god, it's fucking everywhere!" Frank said, turning back to Gerard and pulling him over. As Gerard leaned into the plant to investigate, the flower suddenly moved.
.
"Excuse me!" came a shrill voice from inside the plant. "Just what do you think you're doing?" Gerard stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and landing in a bed of pansies and a cloud of pink dust.
"I was just looking at the pink powder!" Gerard spluttered, brushing the dirt and powder off his clothes.
"Oh! You mean the wonderland powder," said the snowdrop.
"Quiet now," sounded a softer voice a few feet away. "We're not meant to tell the whole world about this." The two boys turned around to see a rose leaning down towards them. "Who are you? And what are you doing here?"
"We came through the rabbit hole!" Frank said quickly, feeling the buzz begin again in his brain. It was a lot harder for Frank to concentrate on any one of the flowers.
"Oh goodness me," sighed a lily next to Frank. "I'm sick and tired of these… these normals coming here and running about the place as if they own it."
"Would you like to hear us sing?" piped up a daisy in the back. "We're very good, we have a whole repertoire of songs!"
"No thank you," said Gerard breezily, grabbing Frank's hand and pulling him away from the flowers that he was gormlessly gazing at. "We must be going." There was a chorus of whining, complaining voices from the pansies, who begged for the two to stay and hear a song. "No, no, we must go now. We have to find our way out." The pair began to walk down the dusty path in a direction that they hoped would lead them to an exit.
"It's good that they're leaving," whispered the Lily to the Rose. "They're nothing but a couple of common mobile vulgaris'"
"What?" asked Frank, furrowing his brow with confusion.
"To put it bluntly, a couple of weeds!"
.
Frank turned around quickly and opened his mouth to argue, but before he could pick a fight with the flowers, Gerard pulled him away down a path until they became surrounded by a thick, swirling, multi-coloured smoke. Gerard began to cough.
"You're coughing this much from a little bit of smoke? That's rich, from the guy that smokes a pack a day," Frank said bitterly.
"Frankie, don't start sulking," Gerard said, pouting and pulling Franks body close to his.
"I could have pulled those prissy little flowers up and thrown them on a fucking fire. And besides, I only say it because I care," Frank mumbled, looking down at the ground. Gerard put his thumb under Frank's chin and lifted his face, allowing their eyes to meet. "You shouldn't smoke so much, Gee. It's not good for you." Frank bit his lip and Gerard just couldn't hold back any longer. He pressed his lips to Franks and then pulled away quickly. Frank's lips pursed, leaning forward for another kiss. Gerard smiled at how cute Frank looked when he did that and didn't stop smiling even when Frank's lips were on his. They kissed for goodness knows how long before a strangely shaped shadow appeared in the smoke.
.
"Who…. are…. you?" said the shadowy figure. Frank and Gerard jumped apart, hearts beating in their chests. "I asked you a question! Who are you?"
"I'm Frank Iero, and this is my… erm…"
"Boyfriend!" Gerard chimed in. "I'm his boyfriend, Gerard Way." A plume of smoke was blown straight into Gerard's face, causing him to miss the grin placed firmly on Frank's face. "Dude…. what is that?!" Gerard asked between coughs. The man stepped out of the smoke and the two boys barely batted an eyelid when he was revealed to be dressed as a giant caterpillar with a hookah in his hand – they had been here too long to be surprised by something as trivial as this. "Are you high?"
"Isn't everyone high here?" the man drawled, blowing out a perfectly formed smoke ring. "Anyway, I asked you a question that you didn't answer – who are you?"
"Well if we're not Frank and Gerard, then I don't know who we are!" Gerard said impatiently.
"Why?" The caterpillar asked, rolling his eyes and blowing more smoke into their faces. Every vowel that spilled out of the insect's mouth was elongated, and came with a fountain of rainbow smoke. Frank started to cough.
"Well, we've seen so much crazy shit tonight that I'm not sure I know what's real or who I am anymore!" Gerard mumbled, a perplexed look on his face. The caterpillar looked the boys up and down and began to walk back into the thick, multi-coloured smoke, reciting what seemed to be a poem as he went.
"How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail, and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws, and welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws."
.
Just as Frank and Gerard began to walk away, the caterpillar called them back urgently. Reluctantly, the two boys turned around and stormed back over to the giant mushroom that the man was sitting on.
"What kind of mushroom is that?" Frank said, reaching out to tear some off. Gerard slapped his hand down away from it.
"Well? What do you want?" snapped Gerard, tapping his foot impatiently.
"Keep your temper…" the caterpillar drawled, throwing Gerard a challenging look that made him snap.
"Don't you dare tell me to keep my temper when I've spent this whole fucking night searching for some strange white rabbit, and no one will give me directions! I was meant to be at a kick-ass party and now I'm stuck here with crazy people like you!" As Gerard continued to rant, the caterpillar took more and more puffs of the strange smoke until he became so enveloped in it that neither Frank nor Gerard could even make out his silhouette. It took nearly a minute for the smoke to clear away and when it did, the caterpillar was nowhere to be seen. "Oh for fucks sake," grumbled Gerard, stamping his foot in frustration.
"Where did he go?" asked Frank, looking all around.
"Well I hope you find the rabbit you are looking for," sounded a voice from above us. "And I hope you take the right paths."
"Well, fuck me," mumbled Frank, staring up at the sky as a small shadow vanished into a grate high up in the ceiling. "He turned into a butterfly."