I'll Take Him Back

By Shadowgate

…

Today was Tweek's Birthday. At lunch time Clyde showed what he believed would be the perfect present. He wanted to give Tweek a nice spider in a cage for a present. He thought it giving Tweek a pet would help him with maturity and perhaps overcome being afraid of every Goddamn thing.

Clyde saw Kevin Stoley standing in the lunch line. He walked up to Kevin and said "hey look what I'm getting Tweek for his birthday. A pet spider and the reason I'm getting him one is because they're easy to take care of. They don't eat all the time like dogs and they're happy in cages."

Kevin looked shocked and he replied "Tweek will be scared to death of that spider. You know how Tweek is."

Suddenly the spider crawled out of the cage and jumped on Kevin's leg.

Clyde and Kevin both said "WHOA" and then it crawled up into Kevin's pants. All of a sudden Kevin yelled "AHHH THE SPIDER CRAWLED UP MY ASS!"

Clyde said "oh Goddamn it now Tweek won't want it because it crawled up your ass."

At 3PM school let out. Students were making their last stops at their lockers.

Heidi walked up to Tweek and asked "how's the birthday boy?"

Tweek turned to look at her and he answered "well not bad" and twitched.

Heidi said "how about a kiss for the birthday boy" and she kissed him.

All the boys smiled with delight.

Craig walked up and put his arm around Tweek. Then he commented "well Heidi it's great you're not with the fat ass loser anymore but I'll tell you one thing. The grand party for this birthday boy will be at my house."

Heidi replied back "that's okay he's all yours. I've got my eye on a well-known student.

The boys all freeze and wonder who that well known student is.

In two seconds Heidi walked up to Stan Marsh and put her hands on his shoulders. As they stood face to face she said "Stan I know you've been available for a little while. Now that Eric and I are through I'm hoping to start dating you now."

Stan was taken by surprise but he soon smiled.

"I'm all yours" Stan said in a low deep voice.

Stan and Heidi walked out the school's front door with Kenny and Kyle behind them.

They held hands and Stan said "meet my super best friend Kyle along with Kenny who's like a brother to me."

Stan put his arm around Kenny.

Kyle commented "love is making a rebound in South Park."

Heidi said "not really Kyle. All the other girls have yet to even start talking to boys again much less start dating."

Kenny chimed in "now that you two are dating Kyle and I will let you have sometime alone."

Kyle nodded and walked away alongside Kenny.

Stan asked Heidi to come with him back to his house.

Stan took Heidi in his house and Shelly asked "who's that little brother?"

Stan smiled and replied "well big sis she's my new girlfriend and her name is Heidi Turner."

Shelly yelled "ARE YOU INSANE? YOU'RE DATING A TURD!"

Heidi just ignored Shelly and walked upstairs with Stan.

When they got up to Stan's room he shut the door and locked it.

Stan said to her "today is a wonderful day for me. Our relationship is a new beginning and I want it to work. Looking back I realize I made some stupid mistakes with Wendy. I wasn't always open with her. There were times I should have listened to her and I didn't. I want this relationship to work by giving you my attention."

A few tears started coming out of Heidi's eyes.

Stan asked "what's wrong?"

Heidi answered "tears of joy Stan. You made a very noble confession."

Stan smiled and said "I'm sure I'll be more successful than Cartman."

Stan giggled and Heidi whispered "I know you will" then wrapped her arms around him.

Then the doorbell rang.

Stan immediately shouted "WHAT THE FUCK!"

Heidi asked "were you expecting a visitor at this time?"

Stan answered "no and I've got a bad feeling about this. I know that's not the fucking Avon lady."

Shelly answered the door.

Wendy and Bebe were at the door.

Wendy said "I know Stan is here."

Shelly said "oh my I thought you two were through."

Bebe snapped "let us in because we need to talk to Stan."

Shelly replied "well this sounds interesting" and she let them in.

Shelly said "Stan is up in his room" and she walked upstairs with them.

Wendy pounded on Stan's door and yelled "OPEN UP."

Stan opened the door and asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT WENDY?"

Wendy demanded to know why Stan was seeing Heidi so Stan told her that she was the only girl who didn't hate boys.

Bebe got pissed off and said "Heidi you can't just steal my best friend's boyfriend you slut."

Heidi told Bebe "I didn't steal anyone's boyfriend because Wendy dumped him and this is none of your Goddamn business so back off you fucking bitch."

Stan yelled "ENOUGH ALL OF YOU!"

Stan said "Wendy it's obvious you still have feelings for me even though I was a dickhead who didn't come to your volleyball games or listen when you had personal concerns."

Wendy took a deep breath and replied "I guess I jumped the gun coming over here. I just saw you and Heidi in the hallway become a couple and my temper flared."

Heidi told Wendy "I just want a relationship with someone. We all suffered because of Skankhunt 42 but unlike the rest of the girls I wanted a boyfriend. Stan's with me now."

Heidi put her arm around Stan.

Wendy said "maybe I demanded too much of Stan in our relationship. Females often do that."

Bebe put her hand on Wendy's shoulder.

After Wendy took another deep breath she said "let's go Bebe."

When they walked out of Stan's room Shelly said "I thought there was going to be a bloodbath."

Wendy said "so did we but we're leaving."

THE END