DISCLAIMER:: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc.
A/N:: so here it is... the revised sequel to queen of hearts. thanks for being patient with me; i know it's been a long time coming. all questions will be answered here. why does ethan want to be a part of callie's life? what secret is callie keeping from erica? and many more.
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"She is driving me crazy, absolutely insane."
"What is she doing that's making you crazy?"
"Well for one thing, she exercises."
Dr. Wyatt raised an eyebrow. "Her exercising upsets you?"
"No, you don't understand. She exercises all the time. She never stops. Just when I think she's gonna pass out from exhaustion she turns on tae bo."
"Have you said anything to Callie? Have you told her your concerns?"
Erica shook her head. "Oh no. I can't do that."
"Why not?"
Erica sighed and wrung her hands. "We still don't talk about Brenna. It's been three months since the funeral. I can still see in Callie's eyes that she hurts. She's doing much better now, talking and working. Looking from the outside, it would seem as if nothing about her had ever changed, but there's a part of her that's a little broken inside. And she hides that part from everyone, even me. When we came back from California, she tried so hard to go on with her life, but she wasn't herself… until she found this new love of fitness. Callie's never been self-conscious. She has always loved her figure. But this seems to make her happy. " Erica shook her head again. "No, I couldn't possibly take that away from her. I'm too afraid she'd become how she was before we came home."
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It had been three months since Callie and Erica had returned home from California. Callie had insisted upon returning to work the very next day despite Erica's requests that she take a little more time to process what they'd just been through.
But the truth was Callie just wanted to forget. She wanted to forget how lost she had felt. She wanted to forget the three graves by the lake. She wanted to forget the slight touch of envy hiding behind the warmth and pride that had been in Brenna's eyes as she looked at Callie in her wedding gown. She wanted to forget it all. And at the same time, she wanted to forget nothing.
So quickly Brenna had become Callie's friend, as close as any family member. She had considered her to be like a sister. In fact, all of the Donovan's were now her family. She'd do anything for them and she knew they felt the same. But it was all too painful to bear.
She had begged Erica, in what had been the longest conversation she'd had with her wife since she'd received news of the death, to take her home a day before schedule. It was too much of a reminder staying there with the people she'd come to love because of Brenna.
If Brenna hadn't shown up at Seattle Grace, Erica would never have taken Callie to Foxtail Creek. She never would have known Gail, Michael, or Benjamin. She knew without a doubt that it would have been years before Erica would have opened up about her past. And she probably never would have learned the depth of it all. Erica wasn't exactly the world's most forthcoming person when it came to her past.
Brenna had given her so much in the few months they'd known each other. They'd lived so much life together and yet had had so little time.
Once Callie returned to Seattle, she dealt with things the best way she knew how. She returned to work immediately, she pulled extra shift, and just when she was certain she'd break down she'd find a trauma to immerse herself in.
She felt guilty about working so much. She knew Erica was concerned, but the blonde refrained from saying anything. When she looked in Erica's eyes, she saw the hurt her wife felt at her distance. It wasn't fair to Erica, but she just couldn't revisit the issue.
And she had more pressing issues to think about. The maintenance of her appearance for example. Callie was dead set on keeping her body exactly the way it was. It had started as just a random workout, a run around the park, but then she'd become addicted to the endorphins. She found herself jogging with Karev or doing Pilates every free chance she got between work and sleep. It was creeping even her out, but she just couldn't seem to stop.
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"So, what else is Callie doing that bothers you?"
"Well, she calls Gail almost daily. They've become very close recently."
"Why does that bother you?"
Erica contemplated her answer for a long moment. "I guess it doesn't bother me, not really. I love that Gail and Callie have a good relationship. I think it's one of the main reasons that Callie's been able to heal. I guess I just feel… left out. Callie doesn't talk to me like she used to. She used to tell me everything. We were best friends."
"And you don't think you are anymore?"
"I don't know."
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The calls with Gail had become a ritual Callie refused to break. Ever since the funeral Gail had called at least once every three days to check up on how she was doing. But rather than finding it annoying, she kind of liked having a second mom. She felt supported, which was something she needed right now.
She could tell this bothered Erica too. She could somehow manage to stay on the phone with Gail for an hour relaying the day's events, but yet she couldn't seem to find more than a couple moments to have a decent conversation with Erica.
She knew exactly why she was avoiding talking to Erica though she wouldn't admit it to the cardio surgeon. She wasn't even ready to admit it to herself.
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"Anything else that bothers you?"
"Ethan West."
"That's Callie's ex-fiancé right?"
"Ex seems to be a relative term."
"She's sleeping with him?"
Erica frowned. "No, but they have lunch together every Wednesday and Sunday without fail. If Callie's on duty, he comes to the hospital and they eat in the cafeteria. He sometimes waits for hours without complaint if she's in surgery or something. The Sunday's and Wednesday's she has off, she goes out with him to a restaurant. His movie's still shooting right now, but they wrap up in few weeks."
"Well, that should be good. Then you'll have her all to yourself again."
"Oh no. He's decided to make Seattle a permanent thing for himself. He's buying a house here. He's still planning on flying to LA for work, but Seattle is going to be homebase from now on." Erica laughed dryly at the absurdity of it all.
"So, are you concerned that Callie's affections may be leaning towards her ex?"
"Callie assures me she's not. She wants me to trust her, and I'm trying here, but it's just a little hard to swallow. She doesn't communicate with me anymore. I'm trying to give her space and let her deal with whatever it is that's got her acting this way, but I'm at my breaking point. I don't know what to do anymore."
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Ethan West had become as big a part of Callie's life as if she had gone through with the marriage. They spent several hours a week together. Their friendship was an awkward but strong one. Neither wanted to broach the subject that needed to be broached and so they often found themselves caught in long pauses where neither was willing to say or ask what was on their mind.
Callie had not been particularly happy about his decision to stay in Seattle after shooting for his film wrapped up, but the idea had grown on her. She went house shopping with him occasionally, all the time feeling as if this were something she should be doing with Erica.
She had kept no part of her relationship with Ethan a secret from Erica. She knew Erica was prone to paranoia, especially considering the nature of her and Ethan's past, and she had been quick to abate any fears that she was rekindling her romance with him. Of course she hadn't explained herself either and therein laid the problem.
Erica and she had come to an impasse. And Callie knew if they didn't find a way around this, they would fall apart.