A/N: I've been quite interested in the Familiar of Zero series recently. Really interesting concept, to me at least. The familiar isn't too much like me, especially his back story. You'll know what I'm talking about when you come to it. Just a cool concept I'd thought I'd work into the story. Anyhow, enjoy!
"Urg..." groaned poor old me. I had just woken up with what has to be the worst headache in my life. And I've experienced quite a few. "What the hell happened?"
I was vaguely aware that I was faced down, with my limbs spread out, not unlike a starfish. Mustering just enough strength to flip myself over, now sunlight shone through my eyelids, annoying me half to death. Shifting my weight, I made myself comfortable to continue my slumber, whilst my bed rustled with every move I made.
Wait... when did beds rustle?
I shot up, much to the displeasure of my brain. Mind-numbing pain shot through my head, causing my ears to ring. Is this what it was like to get flashbang-ed? I rubbed my temples in small, circular motions, and slowly but surely, the pain and ringing subsided, elicting from me a sigh of relief.
A prank... I thought as I stretched my aching limbs, as much as I could from my sitting position, anyway. I love my brother a lot, but when I get a hold of him... My thoughts trailed off as I fantasized about the many ways I could hurt, torture, and / or maim the person responsible for this. I would never follow through on those death threats, it's just a weird thing my mind does to relieve stress.
"Who are you?" I hear a voice call out.
Good question. Oh no, did that headache give me amnesia?
Turns out, answer is 'no'. My brain just needed a jump start.
My name is Chris Cohen. And no, I'm not related to that football player. I'm sixteen years old this year, and I'm currently living in the exotic island (country?) of Singapore. My parents were originally from England, but we've moved around a lot, partly because of my dad's job. He is a businessman. My mom tells me that the reason we move around so much is due to our 'travellers blood'. I love my mom and all, but that sounds like something from a fairy tale you tell to kids.
It's pretty boring in Singapore, so I spend most of my time out of school playing video games and surfing the net. Occasionally I watch some anime, but it's a little too time consuming for my taste. With all the talking and whatnot. I'm a man of action. I'm not that strong, and by that I mean really weak compared to my classmates, though I'm quite slim. I go to an all male school. Coupled with the fact that I move a lot, I've become socially detached, especially from females. I could count all the female friends I have on two hands. So, to sum it all up, I'm a geek.
Finally, my brain's starting to work. I opened my eyes, and a peculiar sight I did see.
A girl, with strawberry blonde hair and flawless skin stood over me. If the hair color wasn't weird enough, her choice of attire definitely drove the point home. She wore a white blouse with a grey pleated skirt. It looked like a Japanese schoolgirl's uniform, if not for the black cloak, pinned together by a medallion with a star shaped design slightly below the collar of her blouse. Like something out of an anime...
"I ask again, commoner, who are you?"
I was too shocked to respond. Commoner? Did she grow up in the Middle Ages? Who uses the term 'commoner'?
"Just like Louise the Zero to summon a commoner for a familiar! It suits her well!" One female voice called out. Roars of laughter could be heard.
That wasn't English... Nor did it sound like Japanese, or Mandarin. I noted. So where the hell am I?
Looking around for the source of the laughter, my eyes fell on more of these cloaked teenagers, with various strange hair colors, from dark red to blue. Something else that caught my eye was the myraid of creatures that accompanied the strangers. There were mundane animals, like dogs and owls, but the most interesting ones consisted of a giant lizard that had a flame on it's tail, a floating eyeball, and a dragon!
Holy crap, a dragon!
"He can't speak! She summoned a mute! A worthless, mute commoner!" Bouts of laughter followed.
"Louise the Zero has done it again!"
"Shut up! I just made a mistake, that's all!" The pink-haired girl stomped her feet, before turning to the side, "Mr Colbert!"
Colbert? You don't mean...
Sadly, it wasn't who I thought it was. Instead, a older, balding man with a staff responded, "What is it?"
"Please let me try the ritual one more time!" The girl demanded. Woah, woah, woah, a ritual? I quickly examined the surrounding ground. No body parts, no blood. I heaved a sigh of relief. Nothing gruesome. That was good, right?
"I am afraid I cannot allow that."
"Wha-? Why not?"
"Your elemental specialty is decided by the familiar that you summon. It enables you to advance to the appropriate courses for that element. You cannot change the familiar once you have summoned it, because the Springtime Familiar Summoning is a sacred rite. Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to take him." Snickers could be heard from the crowd.
"B-b-but... it's a commoner!"
"Glad to hear you admitting your mistake, Zero!" Someone shouted, earning another round of hysterical laughter. If looks could kill, they'd all be dead twice over.
"Commoner or not, although having a commoner as a familiar is unheard of, there are no exceptions. Proceed with the binding, or will I have to expel you?" the balding man said.
"With him?" There was a less-than-subtle hint of disgust in her voice.
"Yes, quickly now." The balding man replied, annoyance lacing his voice.
While they were busy talking, I took this opportunity to examine my surroundings. I was in a large grassy area. There were stone walls everywhere, and a large castle. It was magnificently built, like some of the castles in Europe. But this one had a weirder feel to it.
"Uh," I finally spoke up, fed up with them acting like I wasn't here. "hello? What are you guys talking about?" I was tired of being left out, only understanding this pink-haired cutie. And when I mean cute, I mean want to pinch her cheeks cute.
Ignoring me, said girl walked back to me, shoulders drooped in disappointment. "Be grateful. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Otherwise, you would never get this from a noble."
Noble? Pfft. There was nothing noble about this girl. Just another spoiled brat. Or a crazy cosplayer. Or both.
"My name Is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière," the girl chanted, as she pointed a stick at me. A wand? That's nuts! "Pentagon of the Five Elements, bless this humble being, and make him my familiar."
Familiar? Who does she think I am, an animal? I was about to retort, before she laid her lips on mine. So this is what a first kiss is like... As quickly as she kissed me, she pulled away, whispering, "It is done."
"H-hey, wait! Wh- what was that?" I managed to stutter. Before this Louise de la something girl could answer, my body started to heat up. It was a nice feeling at first, then it felt like I was being thrown into the sun. "What did you do?" The heat intensified even further, especially in my left hand. My vision blurred, and I was on the verge of fainting.
"Be patient, commoner. The Familiar Runes are being inscribed." Louise huffed. "And how dare you, a mere commoner, use such a tone to address a noble?"
As the heat went away, leaving my body cool, just the way I like it, I retorted, "A noble? You? Don't make me laugh. There's nothing noble about you. You're just a spoilt, crazy little brat.
Uh oh. I might have gone a little too far. Louise was shaking, and not in the cold or frightened way. She was pissed. Aiming her wand at me, she chanted a spell. "Silence!"
The next thing I knew, an explosion sent me rolling back at least 3 feet. Dazed, I staggered to my feet. "What the hell was that, you crazy bi-"
"Louise the Zero can't even cast a proper Silence spell!" I was cut off by another cosplayer in the crowd. "She's as useless as that commoner she summoned!" More laughter.
"Hey!" I directed my anger at the large group, ignoring the fact that there were some creatures that could easily tear me apart. "I heard that! Wait... I heard that!"
"Interesting..." the middle aged man approached, while studying me intently. "A Silence spell that work as a Translation spell instead? And these runes... How unusual..." The man, Colbert, had grabbed my left hand, inspecting the newly-formed runes on the back of my left hand.
"Who are you, and where am I?" I nearly yelled, frustration taking over. "Stop ignoring me, damnit!"
As expected, ignored. Again. "Alright, back to classes, students." Colbert announced. As he said that, his body started to rise off the ground. Along with the other students. Everyone except Louise was now unbound by the laws of physics.
"You should just walk back, Louise!"
"She can't even cast a simple Levitation spell!"
"That commoner is perfect as your familiar, Zero!"
Louise shook in anger. I, on the other hand, had something else on my mind other than insults. "They're... they're... flying! Who are they? Who are you? Where am I?" I all but yelled.
"Come, familiar," was all she gave before storming away.
Not this time! I grabbed Louise by her shoulders, and spun her around so I could stare right into her pink eyes, from what I could tell. "Stop dismissing me! Answer my questions!"
"Get your hands off me, filthy familiar!" She screamed, her cute voice reaching inhumane pitches, and slapped me across the face. Hard. I fainted.
Wha-? A portal? I thought as I stared at the big, green oval shaped distortion. It just appeared out of nowhere, and was apparently invisible to everyone but me. No one reacted to it, in fact, no one reacted to my reaction. I was wandering in a big shopping complex when this appeared.
"Hello? Anyone else see this?"... No answer. And it was quite crowded too. No one even turned to look at me. Huh. How peculiar.
I gave the portal-thing a poke, then quickly withdrew my finger. It wobbled, ripples spreading from the point of impact, then calmed. Out of curiosity, I stuck my finger into the portal. Hehe... the immature side of me giggled. Then it happened. The portal started drawing me in, no matter how hard I resisted. Hey... okay, this isn't funny anymore! I nervously laughed, but it didn't stop. "Help! Hey! Anyone!" But my cries were fated to go unheard, as my whole body was sucked into the portal before I knew in.
Then, I fell. Endlessly. I looked around, nothing but swirling blackness as far as the eye, my eye, can see. Like a endless sea of space.
"My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe."
A voice? Where? My mind snapped to attention.
"My divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call."
"Who's there? Can you hear me! Help!" I panicked.
"Heed my summoning, and bring forth, my familiar!"
And then, an explosion.
"Man, what a weird dream..." I muttered groggily to no one in particular. I dreamed about this weird pink-haired girl dressed like a witch, something about familiars and flying people...
"So, you're finally awake," A high-pitched voice stated. I slowly turned my head, and sure enough, the girl from my dreams was there. Which meant...
"Ahh! You're real!" I let out an unmanly scream as I scrambled back, bumping against a wall. I examined my surroundings. A majestic room, what I felt was meant for royalty. The girl, Louise, sat on a queen-sized bed, sitting cross-legged, staring at me like I'd just stated that I was a turtle.
"What are you babbling about? Of course I'm real," she shot me a quizzical look. "What's your name?"
"Um... Chris. Chris Cohen."
"Chris. What a weird name."
"Says someone who's name is Louise de la... something..." I cocked my head as I tried to remember her name.
Her cheeks puffed up. "It's Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière! And I am your Master, and you shall address me as such!"
Not wanting to get blown up once more, I submitted, "Yes, Master." That didn't stop me from putting as much venom and disdain as I could into that word. Fortunately, she didn't notice. Because she was busy undressing. "Wait, wait, wait!" My cheeks heated up, and I quickly turned away.
"What?" She questioned.
"Can't you do it when I'm not here, or at least ask me to look away?" I could feel the blush on my face increasing in intensity.
"Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'? I'm a man! This... this is just indecency!" I stuttered, amazed at her innocence.
"I don't see a man anywhere. I only see my familiar."
Ouch. Low blow. Something soft hit my back before I could slap some sense into her. "Wash those." Her clothes? I examined them. My blush returned full force when I saw her undergarments in the pile.
"W-w-why do I have to do it?" Embarrassed, I couldn't speak without stuttering. At least she got into a nightgown, covering her properly.
"Because you are my familiar, and you are bound to me, hence you have to do what I say." Louise stated, matter-of-factly. What logic is that? I was about to protest, until I saw a riding crop in her hand. "And if you disobey me, I'll have to punish you." A creepy, evil smile had worked it's way onto her face.
"Yes, Master! Whatever you command, Master!" I quickly saluted and dashed out of the room with her clothes in hand.
Damn,was she scary. Anyway, now that I had some free time, I'd best be memorizing the layout of the place. And man, was this castle huge! Hallway after hallway, level after level, I could have been wandering for minutes or hours, I wouldn't even realize. Thankfully, a snobbish voice brought me back to earth.
"Oh, Katie, my love for you exceeds anything I have felt before." A blonde teenager, about the same age as me, declared. What a ridiculously frilly shirt.
"Oh, Mister Guiche, do you really mean it?" Katie swooned. I had to force myself not to shake my head and sigh.
"Truly, my beautiful Katie, it is impossible for me to lie in your wonderful presence." Guiche affirmed. Talk about hamming it up. I tried to walk past, head held straight, pretending to ignore them. "Ah, it's that commoner that Louise the Zero summoned," Guiche snickered. Katie giggled.
Must... resist... urge... to punch... face... I let loose a small growl as I rounded the corner away from the two lovebirds. Bumping into another female.
"Ah! I'm very sorry, mister..." she started, then took a good look at me. This maid, by her dressing, almost like a Japanese maid, was the first to have any hint of sincerity and kindness in her voice. "Forgive me for my question, but you're the familiar that Miss Louise summoned, right?"
"Yeah. I'm Chris Cohen. And you are...?"
"Siesta."
"Siesta. Nice to meet you." I flashed a smile.
Color filled her cheeks,and she spoke in a soft voice, "Th-thanks. You too..."
"By the way, do you know where I can find a place to wash clothes?"
"Finally, a nice soul in this place." I muttered to myself as I returned to Louise's, sorry, my Master's room. Siesta was kind enough to show me how to properly wash clothes, as I had zero experience with handwashing clothes. Apparently, I've become quite the piece of gossip, especially among the other commoners. Commoners are people who can't use magic, while nobles are the ones who can. I kept the fact that no one on my Earth could use magic to myself. No one needed to know.
After an exhausting day, I laid down on the pile of hay that was supposed to be my bed. Damnit. Treating me like a dog. Who does she think she is?
As my mind wandered to the different events of today, trying to understand the gravity of the situation, I thought about my homeworld. What about my friends? My family? Have they noticed that I'm gone? Of course they have. Deep down, I believe that I'd be able to return home someday. No, I will return home. I will find a way.
I swear... I will... return...
Morning arrived quickly. I woke at the crack of dawn, like I always do. Looking over at Louise, I noticed how cute she looked. When she's not yelling and fuming, I suppose. Too bad that had to end. I pulled her sheets off her. "Morning, Master." I had trouble getting that word out sincerely.
"Hmm...? W-who are you?" Louise yawned.
... Really? "Chris Cohen, Master."
"Oh. That familiar I summoned." Then, "Clothes." After I tossed her uniform that was draped over a chair to her, she continued, "Underwear."
Blushing again, I forced out, "Get it yourself."
It seems ignoring me has been a common routine for her. "Bottom drawer," Louise pointed.
She's really enjoying this... I hope she doesn't ask me to dress her, I silently hoped as I tossed her underwear over my shoulder, determined not to look at her bare body.
"Clothes," she ordered again, after a moment.
"I just gave them to you!"
"Dress me."
"Hell no! At least have the common decency to dress yourself!" I yelled, turning around. Bad idea, she was laying sleepily on the bed in her only her undergarment.
"Fine then, as a punishment, no breakfast for you." She raised a finger, pointing to the ceiling, a smirk on her face, as though she knew she had beaten me. Like I'd bow so easily...
As we walked out of my Master's room and headed to the dining hall, I berated myself, or more specifically, my weakness for food. I did not want to sell my dignity for food, but I suddenly found myself starving. That's right, I haven't eaten since yesterday...
I don't know how I didn't notice this before, but Louise was really short. I towered over her, by about a head. I really hope she's not done growing...
"Woah... This place is huge! It's like Hogwarts, only grander!" My jaw dropped when I saw the Dining Hall. There were three ridiculously long tables, with throne-like chairs. On the table in front of each chair, there were a couple of plates filled with the most delicious food I had ever seen.
"Hog... warts?" Louise cocked an eyebrow.
"Nothing." I really am in another world...
Louise took her seat at the middle table. My mouth watered as I took in the marvelous sight before me. If I died and went to heave, I never want to go back. I reached out for a slice of bacon, before my hand was slapped away, hard.
"What do you think you're doing?" the tiny pink-haired girl growled.
"Eating. Or is that not how you consume food here?" I immediately shot back, annyoance, fueled by hunger, dripping from my voice.
"This food is meant for nobles. You sit here," she drawled, pointing to the ground. A small bowl with a few pieces of bread was where she was pointing at.
I opened my mouth to protest, but my stomach growled even louder than before. "If I wasn't so hungry, I wouldn't have to take this..." I mumbled as I plopped down onto the floor. After a bite or two, my mind registered that this bread was stale. Damn her! Treating me like a pet. I was starting to miss home.
After a meal, if you can call pieces of stale bread that, in relative peace, not taking the stares of the other 'nobles' into account, my Master and I left the Dining Hall.
"That was the best meal ever!" I chirped, with overly exaggerated tone. Anyone could tell that it was sarcasm.
Not Louise. "Be grateful for that. I made a special request for you to sit in the Dining Hall with me. If you were anything else, you wouldn't be even in the Dining Hall."
How naive was this girl? I kept that thought to myself, and plowed on. "Anyway, where to next? Classes?"
"No. There are no classes today. It's supposed to be time to bond with your familiar." We walked into a big clearing, where small white tables and chairs were. Around them sat the other nobles and their familiars. Louise and I chose a small table at the edge on the clearing, away from the others.
Both of us were silent. It was peaceful, and Louise looked so cute just sitting there. Wait, what am I thinking? I decided to break the silence. "So what's this familiar thing all about?"
"A mage's power and affinity determines the familiar she summons. For example, an Earth mage would most likely get an Earth-based familiar."
"I see." I didn't at all. Studying the other student's familiars, I had to ask, "What's that floating eyeball?"
"It's a bugbear."
Uh huh. "And that octupus thing?"
"A Skua." Louise seemed bored.
"And that six-legged thing?"
"A basalisk."
"B-b-basalisk?" I quickly averted my gaze from the creature.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just... I've heard rumors that they turn you to stone with just their gaze." I mumbled.
"Don't be ridiculous," Louise shook her head.
"Ridiculous? I'm sorry, Master, but where I come from, we don't have these magical creatures. Don't be so ignorant," I added as an afterthought.
"A familiar? Insulting it's master? Truly a familiar fit for you, Louise," a female voice purred from behind me. Turning around, I came face to face with what had to be the biggest assets I've seen in my life. Averting my gaze, with a heavy blush on my cheeks, I instead saw a giant lizard with a flame on it's tail. If Pokemon were real, that's what I figured Charmeleon would look like.
"Good morning to you, too, Kirche," Louise scowled.
"And who might this be?" The new arrival looked down at me. I glanced at her, trying to get a good look of her face without her mountains blocking the view. Shameless.
I was face to breasts with a stunning blood-red-haired, dark skinned female. She was truly enchanting, capturing my heart almost instantly. If succubus were real, she'd definitely be at the top of the list. I stood up immediately, while finding out that I was just a little taller than her, I bowed low and courteously, "Chris Cohen, at your service."
"Ah, looks like you've finally done something right, Louise," the red-head smirked. "My name is Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst." Great, another ridiculously long name.
"Pleasure to meet you, Kirche." I returned to my full height and glanced at Louise. Oh no. What have I done? The petite girl was shaking in her seat, color filling her cheeks. Kirche noticed this too.
"What's wrong, Louise? Jealous that your familiar is treating me better than he treats you?" Kirche teased. I looked at Louise, back at the teaser, then back at my Master.
"W-wait! Th-that's not what I meant! I was jus-" I quickly explained, but she cut me off.
"Why don't you just go and get me some tea?" Louise yelled, and I was quick to comply, dashing away from the tiny human volcano. That was close, I thought she was going to blow me up again.
"So, who are you going out with, Guiche?" A sudden question caught my attention.
"Yeah! Who's the lucky girl?" Another student shouted. I glanced at the one who's questions were directed at. Ah, that frilly shirt wearing snob.
Guiche replied with a haughty tone, "'Go out'? I hold no one is such high regard. After all, a rose blooms for the pleasure of many." As the blonde shifted his weight, a bottle with purple liquid dropped from his pocket. I, being the Good Samaritan that I am, quickly picked it up.
"Hey, you dropped this." I held the liquid out to Guiche's back, expecting him to turn around.
Ignored.
I placed the bottle on the table with a little force, causing the table to shake. "Shakespeare! You dropped this."
Guiche just turned to me, glanced at the bottle, and turned away. "Hmph, that isn't mine."
"The hell you mean 'This isn't yours'? This fell from your pocket, dumbass," I growled. His arrogant tone infuriated me.
"Ooh, that perfume, isn't that Montmorency's?"
"Yeah! That purple purfume is something Montmorency mixes only for herself!"
"Mister Guiche... I knew it! You are going out with her!" That last voice came from a brown-cloaked girl. Katie, wasn't it. Ooooh, he's so busted.
"No, Katie, you misunderstand, the only girl is in my heart is you..." Guiche started his long-winded speech, but was cut off by a slap.
"That perfume you dropped is more than enough! Goodbye!" Katie sobbed, then stormed off.
Then another girl strode up to him. This one wore a black cloak, same as Guiche, and had blonde and heavily braided hair.
Guiche saw this new girl, and quickly said, "Montmorency! This is a misunderstanding. All I did was accompany her on a long trip to the forests of La Rochelle." As he was speaking, his voice trembled slightly. Aha! A clue, Sherlock!
"Just as I thought. You've been making moves on that first-year, haven't you?" Montmorency accused.
"No, it's nothing like that. Please, Montmorency the Fragrance, do not twist your rose-like face in anger like that. It breaks my tender heart to see you like that."
A slap. And then, "Liar!" Another storm off.
"Hehe," I snickered, "serves you right for two-timing."
"Yeah, it's your fault, Guiche!" One of his friends spoke him. Guiche's attention, however, was not paid to him.
"How dare you speak to me like that, server?" Guiche's voice was filled with anger.
"You nobles, with your 'how dare you' this and 'how dare you' that. I'm getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. And by the way, I'm not a server." Exasperation filled my voice.
"Ah. You must be that commoner Louise summoned, are you not?" Guiche had regained his composure.
'Commoner' again? Oh, it is so on."Well, what's it to you?"
"Tell me, how much did she pay you to fake that summoning?"
"What makes you think she faked it?"
"No familiar has been a human to this day, let alone a useless commoner like you. Ah, it must be fate, for Louise the Zero to be useless 'till the day she passes on." By now, a small crowd had gathered around us to see the bout of insults.
"Drama in the park? Fine, I'll play," I announced, before clearing my throat and puffing out my chest. "Oh, Guiche, Guiche, does thy mother know you weareth her drapes?" I shot back, in my most dramatic tone possible, complete with overexaggerating hand signs. The small crowd exploded with laughter.
"Hmph. It seems I'll have to teach you a lesson, barbaric commoner. I challange you to a duel!"
And so the story begins. I've a good idea of what Chris' fighting style should be. So keep a look out for the next chapter of 'Traveler of Zero'! Until next time, please leave a review! Just, if you're going to criticize, tell me what I could do to improve, not just mindless flaming. Bye now!