AN: This is a belated Valentine's Day fanfiction for Invader Zim, which I have just started watching. If I mess up the characters in any way, I am still new to the concept of this show.

Italics Zim thinking

"Blah" People speaking

Blah General narration

Bold Time statements

ENJOY!!!

The day before Valentine-Doomsday...

Ugh, what is that mindless drivel coming from downstairs?!

I opened my eyes and looked at the clok, and I still had three hours before I would normaly prepare for skool. I attempted to get back to sleep but was disturbed by a chilling high-pitched squeal. At that, I realized that more sleep was not going to happen, so I laid out my oh-so-clever disguise on the bed for future application and took the elevator from my resting chamber to the main chamber of the house.

"Zim! Lookit the TV! There are human hearts involved... WATCHIT!" My greeting was accompanied by a tackle from my useless animated hunk of metal the Almighty Tallest dubbed advanced.

"Gir! Why are you awake so early?! You woke me from my resting! A good invader needs rest if he is to enslave an alien race!" I said to the mindless robot, but my diciplinary tone was ignored.

"COMEOOOONNNN!" Gir dragged me into the so called living room and pointed at the tely-vision with some mindless human-worm programing filled with wishy-washy babble about love and feelings. Then the breaks from the program humans called comercials interupted the program... "Don't know what you're going to give your sweetheart this Valentine's day? Why not give him or her a nice box of MEAT! Made by the best ingredients the POOP company has to offer, these fine meat products say "I love you baby" and can steal the heart of that special someone with the premium package. The premium package includes a blank card on which to write your most sentimental-"

At that I shut off the show-box and grinned.

Stealing hearts hmm? Well, my organ collector is on the fritz... This may be my chance to finish off that stupid Dib-monkey once and for all!

"Gir, I am going to skool, then I will be late returning home while I purchase this heart-stealing mechanism for Dib, do not allow anyone inside! ESPECIALLY NOT DIB! If I come home to see you dancing with that stupid human one more time I will wave a giant magnet in front of you!" I explained to Gir, whose eyes teared at my harsh tone.

"But I like dancing with Dib... he is a funny human!" At that, Gir broke into tears.

"How about you make another one of those cake things you like so much?"

"CAAAKEEEEEE!" Gir ran into the kitchen to prepare his cake as I went back to my chambers to do some research about this Valentines Day before going to skool. My discoveries were remarkable! Valentine's day was a day that humans used as an excuse to have fun with the one they love, and older humans used it as a day for mass-procreation. I wondered what this day had to do with organ stealing, but this race did seem to have many strange rituals, so I ignored those thoughts. As I finished my research, I gathered it all into a file, which I would read at skool during the time of rest they call recess.

As I left, I grinned to myself as I thought of my engenious plot.

Beware Dib... for tomorrow, I will become your Valentine... AND STEAL YOUR HEART!