This is definitely non-yaoi. Daijoubu desu! ^^
Oh, and be warned.
This is a very pointless fic- - you have been warned. .
What would happen if the boys found a pair of black stockings? O.o
SHOHOKU
(locker room)
AUUUURGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What the- -?" everyone runs to the locker room.
Akagi was holding up a pair of sexy black stockings with utter revulsion written on his face.
Akagi: To whom does this...this...this...THING belong to?!!!!!! X/
Mitsui(innocently): Gee Akagi, how would we know? C.C
Miyagi(snickering): Yeah, how would we know? C.C
Sakuragi: What are those? O.O
Akagi throws it at him in disgust.
Akagi: Get that thing out of my gym right now!!!!
He storms out in a huff.
Mitsui picks up the stockings and looks it over carefully. He sniffs it.
Kogure(blushing): M-Mitsui! W-what are you doing? O-O
Mitsui: Hmmm. Smells of perfume. I wonder whose this is... (eyes stockings carefully)
Miyagi: I bet Aya-chan will look great in it! *-*
Mitsui(imagining the team manageress clad in the stockings and black lingerie): Hmmmm...not bad..(nose starts to bleed)
Miyagi: Oi! Stop dreaming about my Aya-chan you hentai! (kicks Mitsui hard in the shin) X/
Mitsui(snaps out of it): Baka! X/
Sakuragi(curiously): Oi, Mitchy, what are those things? O.O
Mitsui(feigns shock): You mean the tensai doesn't know? O0O
Sakuragi(turning red): Of course the tensai does! The tensai knows everything! Dare you insult the tensai's intelligence?
Mitsui(slyly): So what are these then, tensai? *snicker*
Sakuragi: Errrrr... {A/N: he has no idea but Sakuragi being Sakuragi will NEVER admit defeat *giggle*}
Miyagi(prodding him): Huh? Tensai? What are these black things then? .\ .\
Sakuragi: Errrrrr...well, they're special gloves! Souyo! They're special gloves! NYAHAHAHHA!!!!!! Told you the tensai is a genius!!!! =D
Rukawa(sighing): D'aho.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!! X/
Kogure: Maa..maa.. (tries desperately to stop Sakuragi from killing the other boy)
Mitsui and Miyagi: Gloves? *blink*
Sakuragi: Souyo! You wear them like this!
He grabs the stockings from Mitsui and pulls them over his arms.
Sakuragi: See? They're gloves!
Miyagi: They're rather thin for gloves don't you think? (points to the legging) And they're joined together. Not like gloves.
Sakuragi: That's why they're special! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =D
*collective sweatdrop*
Miyagi pulls the stockings off.
Miyagi(scrutinizing): I wonder what material they're made of...
Kogure(curious): Why do you ask? O.o
Miyagi: Well, they make even the biggest thighs look slim...must be magic..
Kogure(shell-shocked): Mi-Miyagi! O.O
Mitsui(nodding): Yeah, I've often wondered as well. What is it that makes them so special? Do they shrink the thighs of the user or something?
Kogure(nearly faints): Mitsui! O.O
Mitsui looks around.
Kogure(in a faint voice): Wh-what are you looking for, Mitsui?
Mitsui: Ahah! We'll just have to find out for ourselves then! Who has the biggest legs here?
Kogure faints.
Miyagi: That would be the captain!
Sakuragi: NYAHAHHAAHA!!! Gori!
The others nod.
Mitsui: But he'll never agree the spoilsport. We'll just have to settle for someone smaller.. (turns to Sakuragi with a strange glint in his eye)
Sakuragi(backs away): AH! Baka Mitchy! Don't come near me! Shoo! Shoo!
Yasuda(whispering): Never thought I'd see the day Sakuragi backing away from someone.. O.O;;
Mitsui grins evilly.
Sakuragi: Mitchy! Look! The kitsune has bigger ones! Look! Look! Don't come near me! {A/N: bigger ones? *snigger* }
Mitsui ignores his pleas and continues to advance.
Miyagi: You know, he's right.
Mitsui stops, just inches from where Sakuragi has backed into a wall.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Mitsui turns slowly (aka slow motion) and..well, his eyes are twinkling evilly. {A/N: *sweatdrop*}
Mitsui: Come here Rukawa..
Kogure recovers and sits up as Kakuta fans him.
Kakuta: Sempai? Daijoubu desuka?
Kogure: H-hai..(smiles wanly)
Mitsui(in a singsong voice): Oh Rukawa~ come here~
Rukawa(glare): D'aho (but starts to inch away, nevertheless)
Mitsui: You can run but you can't hide~ ~ ^-^
Miyagi: He's definitely having fun.. O.O;;
Mitsui then lunges for Rukawa. He manages to pin the boy down and starts to pull down the poor boy's shorts.
Kogure pales and promptly faints again.
Sakuragi: M-Mitchy! What are you doing?!!!!! O.O
Mitsui: Don't just stand there you bakas! Help me get these off him and THESE on him!
Miyagi(muttering): Dear God, dear God....
He holds down Rukawa's flailing arms while Sakuragi, still looking shocked, pinned his thrashing body to the ground. Mitsui yanked his shorts down while the others gasped.
Haruko decides to pop in at this time. Her reaction? Priceless.
Haruko(cheerfully): Ohaio minna-san! Ohaio onii-chan! Sakuragi-kun! (whispering) Rukawa-kun...(blush)
She freezes as she beholds the sight before her- Rukawa being held down by Sakuragi and Miyagi and Mitsui on top of him, trying to remove his shorts completely while holding his kicking legs still and trying, at the same time, not to be kicked silly.
Her eyes widen in horror.
Haruko(screaming her head off): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! \\O0O//
She runs away, shrieking like a banshee. {A/N: Sorry, I don't like her much .}
Mitsui(looking up): Ara? Haruko? Oi! Matte! (leaps after her, black stockings in hand)
Mitsui: Oi Haruko! Wait up! I just want to ask you- - !!!!
Haruko: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mitsui: ? *sigh* oh well... (resumes undressing a VERY agitated Rukawa)
Rukawa: D'aho. Let go of me!
Mitsui finally succeeds in pulling the stockings on him. Unfortunately, they only reach up to his upper shin.
Mitsui stands back to admire his handiwork. Miyagi and Sakuragi let go of him and step back.
Miyagi makes a face. Mitsui's face is experiencing some difficulty..and is contorting horribly as he tries to decide whether to laugh, cry or to keep a straight face.
Sakuragi: *stare* stare* stare* stare* O.O
Yasuda, Kakuta, Shiozaki and everyone else: ... {A/N: Yare yare~ I don't know them all you know! .}
Mitsui finally caves in to laughter.
Mitsui: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! XD You look disgusting!
Miyagi: Take them off Rukawa.. You look gross...(tries to suppress a snigger but fails and ends up with a hacking cough)
Sakuragi: *stare* stare* stare* stare* stare*
Rukawa(deadpan expression): Oi, d'aho. What are you staring at?
Sakuragi: I-iie..betsuni..(thinks) Ewwwwwwww....have mercy on me..
Kogure revives yet again, sees Rukawa in those dreadful black stockings and faints, yet again. {A/N: Wuss}
Mitsui(laughter finally ceasing): Take it off Rukawa! You look ridiculous! XP
Rukawa: D'aho. It was your idea in the first place.
He peels them off, gingerly and yanks his shorts back on in a flash. He then proceeds to stalk to the bin but before he could stuff the horrid thing in with all the other trash, Mitsui grabs it away.
Mitsui: Uh-uh! *shakes head*
Rukawa(slightly annoyed): D'aho.
Miyagi: Well that didn't turn out too well.. .
Sakuragi: Damn you Mitchy! You just ruined my appetite! X/
The other boys had paled considerably. Suddenly fainting didn't seem like a bad idea at all.
Mitsui: I admit that was a bit of a, err, let down. But never fear! We shall find another victim, err, candidate, err, specimen... whatever! XP (turns to Rukawa accusingly) It's your fault! Why are your legs so pale damn it? X/
Miyagi: ?
Rukawa: ?
Others: ?
Surprisingly, Sakuragi nods.
Sakuragi: You need darker skin.
Mitsui(raising an eyebrow): So you're volunteering ?
Sakuragi(recoils): N-NO! The tensai said no such thing!
Mitsui: Oh come on Sakuragi!
Sakuragi: Get Ryo-chin! (points to poor Miyagi Ryota)
Miyagi(looking like a deer caught in headlights): N-no! Mitsui-san! I never did anything to you! Please! Have mercy! ;_; (tearing)
Mitsui: Well, scientists often test their own theories and hypothesis..
Miyagi(yelling): Try it on yourself then! X/ Anyone! Just not me! (thinks) what would Aya-chan say if she saw me wearing that.. that.. thing?
Mitsui: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Rukawa: D'aho. You said it yourself.
Sakuragi: The kitsune's right! You just said that sometimes scientists- -
Mitsui: Urusai baka! I didn't mean me! X/
Miyagi: *sniff*
Mitsui: Fine! I'll get some specimens to base my theory on! Some friends you are! .
Miyagi(muttering): Look who's talking. XP
Mitsui stomps out of the gym in a huff, grumbling about useless teammates and fainting vice-captains and screaming girls.
Sakuragi: Oi Mitchy! Where are you going? O.o
Mitsui glanced over his shoulder and flashed a mischievous grin.
Mitsui: Ryonan.
Oh, and be warned.
This is a very pointless fic- - you have been warned. .
What would happen if the boys found a pair of black stockings? O.o
SHOHOKU
(locker room)
AUUUURGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What the- -?" everyone runs to the locker room.
Akagi was holding up a pair of sexy black stockings with utter revulsion written on his face.
Akagi: To whom does this...this...this...THING belong to?!!!!!! X/
Mitsui(innocently): Gee Akagi, how would we know? C.C
Miyagi(snickering): Yeah, how would we know? C.C
Sakuragi: What are those? O.O
Akagi throws it at him in disgust.
Akagi: Get that thing out of my gym right now!!!!
He storms out in a huff.
Mitsui picks up the stockings and looks it over carefully. He sniffs it.
Kogure(blushing): M-Mitsui! W-what are you doing? O-O
Mitsui: Hmmm. Smells of perfume. I wonder whose this is... (eyes stockings carefully)
Miyagi: I bet Aya-chan will look great in it! *-*
Mitsui(imagining the team manageress clad in the stockings and black lingerie): Hmmmm...not bad..(nose starts to bleed)
Miyagi: Oi! Stop dreaming about my Aya-chan you hentai! (kicks Mitsui hard in the shin) X/
Mitsui(snaps out of it): Baka! X/
Sakuragi(curiously): Oi, Mitchy, what are those things? O.O
Mitsui(feigns shock): You mean the tensai doesn't know? O0O
Sakuragi(turning red): Of course the tensai does! The tensai knows everything! Dare you insult the tensai's intelligence?
Mitsui(slyly): So what are these then, tensai? *snicker*
Sakuragi: Errrrr... {A/N: he has no idea but Sakuragi being Sakuragi will NEVER admit defeat *giggle*}
Miyagi(prodding him): Huh? Tensai? What are these black things then? .\ .\
Sakuragi: Errrrrr...well, they're special gloves! Souyo! They're special gloves! NYAHAHAHHA!!!!!! Told you the tensai is a genius!!!! =D
Rukawa(sighing): D'aho.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!! X/
Kogure: Maa..maa.. (tries desperately to stop Sakuragi from killing the other boy)
Mitsui and Miyagi: Gloves? *blink*
Sakuragi: Souyo! You wear them like this!
He grabs the stockings from Mitsui and pulls them over his arms.
Sakuragi: See? They're gloves!
Miyagi: They're rather thin for gloves don't you think? (points to the legging) And they're joined together. Not like gloves.
Sakuragi: That's why they're special! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =D
*collective sweatdrop*
Miyagi pulls the stockings off.
Miyagi(scrutinizing): I wonder what material they're made of...
Kogure(curious): Why do you ask? O.o
Miyagi: Well, they make even the biggest thighs look slim...must be magic..
Kogure(shell-shocked): Mi-Miyagi! O.O
Mitsui(nodding): Yeah, I've often wondered as well. What is it that makes them so special? Do they shrink the thighs of the user or something?
Kogure(nearly faints): Mitsui! O.O
Mitsui looks around.
Kogure(in a faint voice): Wh-what are you looking for, Mitsui?
Mitsui: Ahah! We'll just have to find out for ourselves then! Who has the biggest legs here?
Kogure faints.
Miyagi: That would be the captain!
Sakuragi: NYAHAHHAAHA!!! Gori!
The others nod.
Mitsui: But he'll never agree the spoilsport. We'll just have to settle for someone smaller.. (turns to Sakuragi with a strange glint in his eye)
Sakuragi(backs away): AH! Baka Mitchy! Don't come near me! Shoo! Shoo!
Yasuda(whispering): Never thought I'd see the day Sakuragi backing away from someone.. O.O;;
Mitsui grins evilly.
Sakuragi: Mitchy! Look! The kitsune has bigger ones! Look! Look! Don't come near me! {A/N: bigger ones? *snigger* }
Mitsui ignores his pleas and continues to advance.
Miyagi: You know, he's right.
Mitsui stops, just inches from where Sakuragi has backed into a wall.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Mitsui turns slowly (aka slow motion) and..well, his eyes are twinkling evilly. {A/N: *sweatdrop*}
Mitsui: Come here Rukawa..
Kogure recovers and sits up as Kakuta fans him.
Kakuta: Sempai? Daijoubu desuka?
Kogure: H-hai..(smiles wanly)
Mitsui(in a singsong voice): Oh Rukawa~ come here~
Rukawa(glare): D'aho (but starts to inch away, nevertheless)
Mitsui: You can run but you can't hide~ ~ ^-^
Miyagi: He's definitely having fun.. O.O;;
Mitsui then lunges for Rukawa. He manages to pin the boy down and starts to pull down the poor boy's shorts.
Kogure pales and promptly faints again.
Sakuragi: M-Mitchy! What are you doing?!!!!! O.O
Mitsui: Don't just stand there you bakas! Help me get these off him and THESE on him!
Miyagi(muttering): Dear God, dear God....
He holds down Rukawa's flailing arms while Sakuragi, still looking shocked, pinned his thrashing body to the ground. Mitsui yanked his shorts down while the others gasped.
Haruko decides to pop in at this time. Her reaction? Priceless.
Haruko(cheerfully): Ohaio minna-san! Ohaio onii-chan! Sakuragi-kun! (whispering) Rukawa-kun...(blush)
She freezes as she beholds the sight before her- Rukawa being held down by Sakuragi and Miyagi and Mitsui on top of him, trying to remove his shorts completely while holding his kicking legs still and trying, at the same time, not to be kicked silly.
Her eyes widen in horror.
Haruko(screaming her head off): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! \\O0O//
She runs away, shrieking like a banshee. {A/N: Sorry, I don't like her much .}
Mitsui(looking up): Ara? Haruko? Oi! Matte! (leaps after her, black stockings in hand)
Mitsui: Oi Haruko! Wait up! I just want to ask you- - !!!!
Haruko: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mitsui: ? *sigh* oh well... (resumes undressing a VERY agitated Rukawa)
Rukawa: D'aho. Let go of me!
Mitsui finally succeeds in pulling the stockings on him. Unfortunately, they only reach up to his upper shin.
Mitsui stands back to admire his handiwork. Miyagi and Sakuragi let go of him and step back.
Miyagi makes a face. Mitsui's face is experiencing some difficulty..and is contorting horribly as he tries to decide whether to laugh, cry or to keep a straight face.
Sakuragi: *stare* stare* stare* stare* O.O
Yasuda, Kakuta, Shiozaki and everyone else: ... {A/N: Yare yare~ I don't know them all you know! .}
Mitsui finally caves in to laughter.
Mitsui: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! XD You look disgusting!
Miyagi: Take them off Rukawa.. You look gross...(tries to suppress a snigger but fails and ends up with a hacking cough)
Sakuragi: *stare* stare* stare* stare* stare*
Rukawa(deadpan expression): Oi, d'aho. What are you staring at?
Sakuragi: I-iie..betsuni..(thinks) Ewwwwwwww....have mercy on me..
Kogure revives yet again, sees Rukawa in those dreadful black stockings and faints, yet again. {A/N: Wuss}
Mitsui(laughter finally ceasing): Take it off Rukawa! You look ridiculous! XP
Rukawa: D'aho. It was your idea in the first place.
He peels them off, gingerly and yanks his shorts back on in a flash. He then proceeds to stalk to the bin but before he could stuff the horrid thing in with all the other trash, Mitsui grabs it away.
Mitsui: Uh-uh! *shakes head*
Rukawa(slightly annoyed): D'aho.
Miyagi: Well that didn't turn out too well.. .
Sakuragi: Damn you Mitchy! You just ruined my appetite! X/
The other boys had paled considerably. Suddenly fainting didn't seem like a bad idea at all.
Mitsui: I admit that was a bit of a, err, let down. But never fear! We shall find another victim, err, candidate, err, specimen... whatever! XP (turns to Rukawa accusingly) It's your fault! Why are your legs so pale damn it? X/
Miyagi: ?
Rukawa: ?
Others: ?
Surprisingly, Sakuragi nods.
Sakuragi: You need darker skin.
Mitsui(raising an eyebrow): So you're volunteering ?
Sakuragi(recoils): N-NO! The tensai said no such thing!
Mitsui: Oh come on Sakuragi!
Sakuragi: Get Ryo-chin! (points to poor Miyagi Ryota)
Miyagi(looking like a deer caught in headlights): N-no! Mitsui-san! I never did anything to you! Please! Have mercy! ;_; (tearing)
Mitsui: Well, scientists often test their own theories and hypothesis..
Miyagi(yelling): Try it on yourself then! X/ Anyone! Just not me! (thinks) what would Aya-chan say if she saw me wearing that.. that.. thing?
Mitsui: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Rukawa: D'aho. You said it yourself.
Sakuragi: The kitsune's right! You just said that sometimes scientists- -
Mitsui: Urusai baka! I didn't mean me! X/
Miyagi: *sniff*
Mitsui: Fine! I'll get some specimens to base my theory on! Some friends you are! .
Miyagi(muttering): Look who's talking. XP
Mitsui stomps out of the gym in a huff, grumbling about useless teammates and fainting vice-captains and screaming girls.
Sakuragi: Oi Mitchy! Where are you going? O.o
Mitsui glanced over his shoulder and flashed a mischievous grin.
Mitsui: Ryonan.