Author's Note: I wrote this when I was doped up on penicillin... not quite sure what I was thinking because I, for one, don't really like alcohol and rarely, if ever, drink it. I guess that's why I have a rather negative portrayal on it in this fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters mentioned. They belong to J.K. Rowling and associates.
Sirius was drunk again- which wouldn't be such a problem if Sirius was a nice drunk. He could be, but that was only when he was tipsy. But currently, he was completely and utterly drunk, which resulted in quite a problem. Unlike when he was tipsy, the Gryffindor boy when drunk was nasty. Vicious, cruel, mean, and any other adjective that could describe one as being bad-tempered.
Sirius being intoxicated wasn't generally much of a problem; in fact, Sirius often stated that if he never touched a drop of alcohol again he would be quite content. He was much more of a social drinker than anything, and the stuff only touched his lips on special occasions such as his, or any other Marauders' birthday, or perhaps Christmas or New Years. The boys had only ever seen Sirius completely off his face when they were in fifth year, and Sirius' birthday wasn't a very jovial one. His mother had wrote him and nobody ever found out what was in the letter because Sirius made quite a display of getting rid of it, and then swallowing his misery with more than his fair share of a mix of wizarding and muggle alcohol. Surprisingly, he woke the next day without much of a hangover, mostly on Remus' behalf by forcing water down his throat for the rest of his night. Remus, unlike Sirius, woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a black eye- the results of Sirius' drunkenness.
And from that day forward, the three other Marauders decided to keep an eye on Sirius whenever alcohol was present. Sirius had apologized profusely for three months, and turned off any alcoholic beverage for six. Peter, James and Remus all had their parts to play whenever liquor was present, though. Peter would try to keep Sirius was entertained for as long as possible to keep the latter mentioned boy away from the beverages and suggest alternatives; James would moderate his drinks and try to keep them to a maximum of four, and Remus… well, Remus would try to clean up whatever mess was caused. Even if Sirius had only taken a sip of firewhiskey, or any other liquor, Remus would make him guzzle down twice as much water.
However, their brilliant plan on keeping Sirius sober had failed. None of the boys knew how or why he had gotten drunk again, but he was, and James nor Peter nor Remus managed to keep his hands away from the intoxicating drinks. The boy was currently sprawled out on his bed, firewhiskey in one hand and some muggle liquor- James finally managed to read the label on it, which read 'Scotch', or something along those lines. The three sober boys stare tentatively at Sirius, before James took a step forward, and reached out to his best friend.
'Sirius, mate --'
'Geddout!' Sirius yelled, and tossed the Scotch at him. It missed James narrowly, and smashed into pieces above his head. The liquid ran down the wall, staining it. The bespectacled boy gave a frightened glance towards Peter, and the two of them began to back away from the room. Remus spun around, his mouth opened, and Peter gave him a tap on the arm.
'You take care of this, okay?'
'But --' Remus was cut short as he and James leapt from the room. Remus watched as the door closed in his face, and made a step for it. His hand was about to reach for the handle when a loud groan came from behind him. He turned his head ever so slightly as Sirius began to sit up, his eyes glazed over. Remus suddenly remembered a man from his past; he was only seven or eight when he went into London with his mother- he couldn't remember if it was wizarding or otherwise, but he doubted it mattered. There was a man begging on a corner, and Remus felt sorry for him. He asked his mother to give him some money, but his mother shook his head, and told her son he would only spend it on alcohol. When they passed him, Remus looked at the man pitifully, and saw him looking back with an oddly glazed stare- the same stare Sirius was giving him now. Remus shivered, despite his efforts not to.
'Whatchu lookin' at, 'mus?' Sirius slurred, the firewhiskey dropping from his hand and onto the floor. The amber liquid dribbled out, the bottle almost empty anyway. Sirius only briefly glanced at it, as if wondering how it got there, before reaching over the side of the bed Remus couldn't see, and finding another bottle of booze- Remus guessed brandy, but he couldn't honestly tell. He was never one for alcohol, anyway.
'Look, Sirius,' Remus began, putting on what James called "his motherly voice", 'I think you've had enough. Now, just put the bottle down, and --'
'I'll bloody tell you when I've 'ad enough!' Sirius yelled, springing to life. He swayed about as he stood, and he clutched onto a bedpost to stable himself. The brandy swung in his hand, his fingers barely grasping the neck of the bottle. Remus winced as he watched Sirius' lips curl around the mouth of it and take a long sip. He didn't remember Sirius opening it, but he didn't take the time to think much of it.
'Please, Sirius, James, Peter and I- we're all very concerned right now and if you just stop, we can all talk about what's bothering you. Now put the bottle down, and I'll go get you some water, and you can sleep this off, okay?'
Sirius snorted drunkenly, and swaggered over to Remus. He could no longer walk in a straight line, and he almost fell over twice as he zigzagged across the floor.
'Put th' bottle down, 'ey?' Sirius slurred, his breath hot in Remus' face. In Remus' mind, he was doing quite well, facing Sirius like this. He was quite worried about both their well beings. Sirius', about not swallowing his tongue or something equally endangering, and his own, about not having the life beaten out of him. He nodded at Sirius' words, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides.
'Yes, Sirius. In fact, I'll save you the trouble, and take it for you!' He forced a smile on his face at this comment. 'And I'll put it somewhere quite safe, and we can open it again on Peter's birthday, eh? It's only two months away, so how about I take it?'
Sirius swayed where he was standing, his eyes unfixed. Remus swallowed a growing lump in his throat, and began to tentatively reach for the bottle. When his fingers where just about to clasp around it, Sirius pulled it from his reach surprisingly fast for a drunken teenager, and glared as good as he could with his glazed eyes.
'Put th' bottle down, 'ey?' he repeated. 'How's 'bout I put th' bottle down… on yer 'ead?'
Remus could only let out a questioning sound, when he felt the bottle smash on his head. Shards of glass rained down, and he felt his scalp begin to grow cool as the liquor soaked his hair. The pain hadn't set in yet, and Remus wasn't sure if that was a blessing or curse. He did, however, still have enough common sense to back away quickly as the madman that was Sirius began on him. He managed to back away as Sirius tried to snatch him. Remus slipped over the puddle of Scotch that Sirius had thrown at James earlier, and landed on his backside. Taking this was an opportunity, Sirius leapt upon him, and grabbed him by his ankles.
'Sirius, no!' Remus cried, thrashing about. He scored a kick in his chin, and whilst Sirius was rubbing it, wondering what had happened, Remus scurried away. Wishing he could go to the door- Sirius was still kneeling in front of it- he ran for the window instead. He wasn't planning to do anything incredibly stupid like jump out of it, but he was hoping he might see James or Peter, and call for help. A slim chance, he knew- if anywhere, they'd be in the kitchens- but he wanted to try nonetheless. He never made it to the window however. Sirius had grabbed his arm, and tugged him back.
Sirius was swaying when he caught a glimpse of him, as his head was suddenly smacked about. Sirius had hit him! Actually physically punched him! His head had started to hurt from the bottle being smashed upon it, and the punch only made it worse. A headache was forming, and Remus wasn't sure if his skull could take anymore blows. Fortunately, Sirius let him go, and Remus allowed his legs to buckle beneath him. He didn't dare make any sudden movements, and Sirius seemed to be letting him catch his breath. Closing his eyes, he let a shaky hand rise to his cheek. A few drops of blood came away on his fingers when he pulled it away, and he winced as the dirt from his fingers infected the wound.
'Yer such a fagg't,' he heard Sirius say above him. Remus lifted his head instinctively at the sound of his voice, and a noise came from his throat. His head was hurting too much to make any words, and so he just listened to Sirius spit words out at him. 'Yer such a pansy liddle boy with yer stud'ing and reading and chesh pla'ing… A real liddle fagg't.'
Remus blinked wearily, and held his head. It wasn't Sirius talking, he told himself, it was the alcohol. Sirius would never say that to him- or to anyone he cared about. They were too good of friends to say such spiteful things to one another. It was ridiculous to think that Sirius would even think of such things to say! But despite all that, Sirius was saying those things, and they were having an affect on Remus.
'Ya' suck dick, dontcha, 'mus?' Sirius spat down at him, making the sentence more of a statement than a question. Sirius had a dangerous glint in his eye, and suddenly Remus was worrying more of his life than getting Sirius to have a glass of water. 'Ya' like t' take it up th' arse, dontcha, 'mus?'
He took a step towards the cowering Remus, and the boy began to crawl backwards. Sirius took a step towards, and Remus suddenly felt the foot of Sirius' bed against his back. A cry escaped his throat as Sirius loomed above him, every inch of a drunken maniac. He drew a knee up to his chest, an effort in vain to protect himself. With a strangled cry, he felt Sirius' foot come in contact with his stomach as he tried to roll out of the way, his protective knee lowering in the process. He gasped, the air exploding from his lungs. His eyes bulged, wondering in the back of his mind if he were dead.
Sirius isn't meaning any of this, he thought, as he felt another kick, this time to his side, it's the alcohol- alcohol! The vile, despicable stuff that causes even the best of friends to turn against one another!
Closing his eyes, he grit his teeth, and kicked wildly. His foot came in contact with something, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius fall down. Breathless- his headache had turned into a painful migraine- he closed his eyes. Sirius was groaning, and Remus wondered if he'd be given any more beatings that afternoon. He highly doubted it, and allowed himself to pass out.
---
Despite being in complete and utter pain, Remus had managed to let Madam Pomfrey let him leave her care after three hours. Remus spent too much time in there once a month, and he refused to spend more time than necessary. He had no idea where Sirius was, nor did he want to know. All the same, he managed to wriggle away from the nurse, and struggle down the hallway. His arms were wrapped around his bandaged ribs, his head still having a dull, familiar ache to it. He had no idea what James and Peter- whom had apparently brought him in- had said to Madam Pomfrey, but she hadn't said much anyway. He was only grateful that he was still alive, despite extraordinary pain. He robes hid any bandaging, which he liked, although he didn't make an effort to pretend he was feeling all right. Instead, he shuffled down the hallways, the only sound coming from him being his feet scraping along the floor. He didn't want to head back to the common room just yet, and instead, he headed for he place that practically screamed more or less privacy: the Prefect's bathroom.
Remus didn't have any towels on him, or his pajamas, but he didn't mind. A quick (or long) soak was all he wanted, and there were towels in a cupboard opposite the bathtub. He'd just slip back into his current attire, and get changed when he finally arrived back at his dorm. Madam Pomfrey hadn't said anything about getting his bandages wet, so he decided it would be fine.
It didn't take him long to find the bathroom, nor did we run into much trouble going there. It was only 8:00 PM, and so a fair few students were still milling about, wasting time before they were shipped off to bed. Remus, however, managed to avoid all those students; particularly the ones who were pressed up against walls do undeniably sickening things. Remus managed to keep his mind somewhat innocent in the process.
The Prefect's bathroom was empty by the time he arrived. Considering that very few people were chosen as prefects, it was to be realised that very few people actually used the bathroom. Most prefects didn't even both to access it, and chose to use the ones in their dorms. There were the occasional prefects, such as Remus, who told their friends the passwords to the exclusive bathroom, and Remus occasionally wondered why Dumbledore, who so clearly knew about that, didn't do anything about it.
All the same, the bathroom was empty, much to the delight for Remus. Walking towards the luxurious tub, he twisted the taps on, and the soapy, scented water began to fill it. Stripping down, the boy winced several times as his body ached for relief from the pain. Madam Pomfrey had given him several potions to alleviate the injuries, yet only so much could be done for the bruises and swelling. Turning the taps off as the water began lapping over the edges, he waded into the water, and rested against the steps. A soft sigh left him, his eyes closing. He refused to think about Sirius and his drunkenness. He would be fine in the morning, and Remus knew he would be begging for forgiveness- it was his way. Remus wouldn't forgive him for what he did- he would say he did, but all four Marauders knew it was just so there would be no rifts between them.
He was in quite a lull when a voice echoed through his mind.
'I knew I would find you here.'
Remus' eyes bulged opened, and he found Sirius standing several feet away, hands folded behind his back. There was a graze on his cheek, and Remus wondered if that was from where he had landed on the carpet before both of them had passed out. Sirius licked his lips nervously, and approached his friend, hands releasing from behind his back. He looked more than a little sheepish with himself, and he soon squatted on the edge of the bathtub. His hand dipped into the frothy water, and came up coated in soapsuds. Remus found himself edging away from him, the water rocking up and down the edges.
'I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, Remus,' Sirius began, sliding his shoes off. Remus only winced as he watched him, his fingers digging into the tiles that lined his current seat on the steps. 'And I know what I did to you was so horribly, horribly wrong. I don't remember much of it, but from what James said when I woke up you were pretty… messed up.' He lifted his head, and motioned to Remus' face. 'You have a massive bruise there… I can't believe I did that…'
Sirius bit his lower lip, and a hand shot to his lips. Remus thought for a moment that Sirius was going to cry, but mentally slapped himself- Sirius didn't cry. Sirius bottled his emotions, and let them go when he was drunk or otherwise. There was a hesitant pause in which Remus remembered he was naked and Sirius seemed to realise this. Sirius glanced about, and began to tug off his socks.
'Um… well, James and Peter were both quite angry about what I did --'
'They made me stay with you,' Remus interrupted. Sirius lifted his head from rolling up the cuffs of his trousers, confused.
'Sorry?'
'They made me stay with you,' Remus repeated, his nails digging into his shins, 'When you were… drunk. They left me with you because they thought I could… well, I don't know why. I guess they thought I could make you less drunk. Less violent, I suppose…'
Sirius and Remus stared at each other for quite a length of time, neither of them moving. Remus was beginning to grow bored with the staring contest they seemed to have unwittingly put themselves in, when Sirius broke the silence.
'I never wanted to hurt you, Remus,' he whispered, his voice strained. 'I… well, you see… um…'
'Yes…?'
Sirius crawled forward, and dipped his toes into the now luke-warm water. Remus watched him wordlessly, as the boy waded further in, the water now lapping around his knees, wetting his trousers. He sat down beside him, the water bubbling up under his shirt. Sirius rubbed his hands together, elbows resting upon his wet knees.
'I received a letter from my mother today,' Sirius finally began to explain, 'And it didn't contain anything new- just the same old crap about me being a failure and never doing anything worthwhile in life, and how Regulus was just oh-so perfect… And I dunno. I snapped, I guess, but now I wish I hadn't. Oh, Merlin, I wish I hadn't…' Sirius halted, and Remus wondered if Sirius was about to break down and cry. He didn't, however, and continued on. 'James once told me he kept a stash of liquor in his trunk in case we all felt like getting a bit drunk. I wish he hadn't, but… well, long story short, I got into it and the end result is sitting to my left.'
Remus gingerly touched his bandaged torso, his teeth biting down on his lower lip. His headache by now had disappeared, and the only traces of it remained in a rather soft spot on his head where he presumed Sirius had whacked him with the bottle.
'It's okay, Sirius, really,' Remus replied softly, giving him a weak smile. 'I'm fine. I… I know you would never mean to hurt me.'
Sirius stared at him, and a tiny tear fell down his cheek. Remus watched it, and lifted his hand. Drops of water fell down his hand, and he slowly placed his thumb over the streak where the tear had been. Wiping away the mark left, he dropped his hand, and it landed with a splash in the water.
'Don't cry, Sirius,' he whispered softly, 'If you cry, it makes everything a whole lot worse, okay? It means that everything that happened today- tonight- this afternoon- is real and I'd rather wake up tomorrow morning and think of it as some very unpleasant dream that caused me getting really, really sore.'
Sirius sniffed loudly, and nodded. 'You're so forgiving, Remus,' he whispered hoarsely, ' I don't deserve you as a friend. I fuck things up with you, and you just let things go. You don't let things get to you'
'If I let things get to me, I'd have ended up in Saint Mungo's a long time ago.' Remus said with a smile. Sirius glanced at him, bleary eyed, and Remus just patted his knee. He crouched down on the step, and slipped further into the water with a pained sigh. 'Come on, the water is much nicer out here.'
'This is a bathtub,' Sirius replied, his voice cracking only slightly, 'Not a blasted swimming pool.'
'And just because you're a bloody nice guy normally, doesn't mean you can't be a raving drunken lunatic, now come out.'
Sirius stood, water dripping off the bottom of his shirt and his trousers. He seemed to be assessing the situation, and within a few seconds, he was splashing deeper into the tub, waves rocking the once still water.
'Painful words, Moony, painful words.' He jumped into the water, and swam over to Remus, Grabbing him around the shoulders, Sirius pulled him closer, causing Remus to let out a cry in a mixture of surprise and pain. Sirius immediately let him go, and Remus bobbed up and down, staring at him.
'I'm naked, you know.' Remus suddenly said. Sirius nodded.
'I realised that when I saw your clothes neatly folded in the corner, with your shoes set atop them.'
'Ah.'
A silence echoed between them. Sirius finally leant over, and ran his thumb over Remus' swollen cheek. Remus watched his thumb, wincing slightly as it brushed over a particularly sensitive part.
'I'm sorry,' Sirius immediately replied, 'You really should hate me. I did this to you, whether I remember it or not.'
'Sirius, don't worry about it!' Remus almost begged, 'I'm not. You've done a so many worse things in your short lifetime, and I'm not about to start holding grudges now just because you were particularly off your face at one point and hit me, so --'
'I hit you?'
'Yes, and smashed a bottle over my head, but that's beside the point --'
'Smashed a bottle over your head?'
'Yes, Padfoot, but let me finish --'
'Oh, Merlin… I can't believe I did that… You should hate me!' Sirius cried defiantly, 'You ought to hate me! Hate me, damn you!'
'I refuse to hate you, though,' Remus replied, just as defiant. Sirius stared at him in confusion. 'Because you're my best friend, and because of that I love you, events past and all. And so you're going to have to live with that, whether you like it or not.'
Sirius only whined, his expression pained. 'I can't believe I did that.'
'Well you did, and so I'm going to leave you with that guilt.' Remus gave him a gentle smile, and kissed him softly. He couldn't tell if it was platonic or not, but at that moment in time it didn't matter. 'So ha. And if you ever get into James' alcohol again, I really will hate you, so I guess that's enough punishment for you. But for now, I'm going to need to get out because I'm awful tired and wanted a relaxing bath, but you came in and ruined the night.'
Sirius nodded, his smile somewhat forced. 'Rightio, Moony, rightio.'
A/N: Like this? Please review!I'll give you cake D
And by the by, I have written so many more SBRL fics, but I haven't posted them here, mostly because I dislike the new uploading system, and most the reviews I receive are 'OMFG STEAM R0XX0RS THE BIG ONE111!'.
All my new works are on the RemusxSirius community on Livejournal. Go check that place out, it's rocks.
