"Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dum, with really bad eggs," hummed Capitan Jack Sparrow as he twirled the steering wheel of his prized possession, the infamous pirate ship, The Black Pearl. In his free hand there lay a bottle of rum, empty of course clearly shown in the way he was now swaggering along with the ship. "Drink up me hearties Yo ho," he finished the tune with a sly smile as he took a swig from the empty bottle. A look of dissapointment crossed his kohl rimmed eyes as he sucked his teeth in utter sarcasm. "Mr. Gibbs," he shouted down to an older man with an ever increasing bald spot and whitening beard.
"Aye Captain," Gibbs shouted back.
"Take hold of the wheel for a moment while I settle some personal business." Jack staggered a few steps before catching onto the railing then murmured to himself, "and that's why the rum is always gone." Without many mishaps, a couple of bruises here and there from running into the masts, Jack Sparrow made it to his cabin and immediately collapsed onto his bed, receiving a hardy grunt from the pile of blankets that lay upon the mattress.
"Go away, five more minutes at the least." A head full of short born curls emerged followed by an angry scowl as the face of a young man emerged. William Turner, once a blacksmith at Port Royal sat up groggily amongst the sheets. After traveling three months aboard a very uncomfortable merchant ship, the young soon to be pirate finally convinced the captain to dock in Tortuga where he then finally ran into Jack and was crewed into the Black Pearl. He had only arrived yesterday.
"Still sleepin' mate," Jack laughed. "The sun's already halfway past the noon mark. Anymore sleeping, the crew could swear on Davy Jones's locker that you were hiding a whore some where on this ship." This received the pirate a hardy smack in the face with a pillow.
"I do not have a whore." Will swung out of the bed quite flustered, whipping on his boots and vest then reached for his sword.
"Why would I be needin' to think that," Jack smirked. "You're a eunuch." A sword was in his face level to the chestnut eyes of Will Turner. "Easy mate, easy. No use ruffling your feathers this early in your wakings."
"You came to wake me up so then why aren't you back outside barking orders at the crew?" He sheathed the blade and walked his way to the cabin door.
"I came here to wake you up so that I can kick you out and have my bed back. I slept in the bunks for one night and I realized that I really like my bed. Then afterwards I'll spend the rest of the day lounging around and seeing if I can find my secret stash of rum, savvy." He laid down, stretching himself out as he watched Will from the corner of his eyes. The blacksmith simply rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Where exactly are we headed to this time?" Will asked half expecting Jack to be asleep.
"We are going to find a nice shiny island minus cannibals and stay there for a while to see if there be any treasure. Then we go back to Tortuga and start all over again with a couple more cases of rum."
"Basically you have no idea where you are going," Will scoffed.
"Pirate," was all that Jack replied as he tipped his three pointed hat over his eyes. "Why are you here lad? Shouldn't you be with your bonnie lass, raising a few kids, and not running around playing pirate?"
Will walked over to a small porthole window and looked out at the vast open sea. "I couldn't stay on land and she couldn't stay out at sea. Also, she wanted everything to be proper and regal, fit right back into the modern English life as if none of this and you ever happened. I realized that I could never be a proper gentleman and eventually, we grew apart. She married Norrington and I came back out here."
"Ahhhhhhh," was all Jack replied. "What happened to I practice three hours a day so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it?"
"Hah," Will opened the door. "You were right. I have the pirate's blood in me and I finally squared with it."
A shout tore through the deck. "SHIP AHOY!!!" The two immediately scrambled out onto the deck and looked out into the gazing fog. A dark split shape appeared out of the calm waters, a dark island on the ocean's peaceful waters, a ship wreck.
"Take her down gently Mr. Gibbs," Jack shouted up. "Bring her in close enough so Turner and I here can go have a look at it."
"Aye Aye sir," Gibbs twirled the steering wheel and the black mass of a ship drew closer.
"Allo beasty," Jack smirked. Will on the other hand grew more anxious with every passing second.
"Jack, are you sure about this? Can't we go look for that island now and forget about this because I seriously do not like the looks of things."
"Relax lad," A creaking sound as the two ships' hulls came into contact with each other was a sign that there was no stopping Jack as he leapt onto the half deck of the other ship. Will groaned and followed reluctantly.
"Oi, kabuki snickle snickle, toute suite." Jack beckoned to the younger man, excitement gleaming in his kohl rimmed eyes.
"Jack, we're not on Cannibal Island anymore." Will tensed as he followed Jack down the stairs to the lower chamber. "You can speak—" Glimmering from wall to wall was gold, jewels, even clothing, everything one could ever think of. It was a pirate's dream come true.
"40 years old aged rum," Jack crowed as he took a swig right from the 6 tankards lined up against the wall. "I can get used to living here." he sighed as he resigned himself into a very plush red throne on a pile of golden sphinx statues. Will however, was quite intrigued by a panel carved full of dragons, phoenixes, and other intricate, royal deigns. In the center, there was a hole, fit perfectly for a person's arm. "What cha got there mate?" Jack swaggered over, arms laden with gold and pearls. When he saw the panel and the hole for the arm, he shoved Will aside and dropped everything, staring at the wall with intricate silence. Without warning, he stuck his arm right into the hole and turned. Will held his breath. Nothing. The minutes ticked by and finally Jack let out a laugh of both disgust and relief as he drew back his arm and began to stagger towards Will.
"What was all that about?" Before he could say another word though, he fell face first towards the floor. Strong arms wrapped around him just before he hit the ground. "Thanks mate."
"No problem," Will helped him up as the ever drunk Jack Sparrow swayed uncontrollably for a few minutes before laughing once more and staggered towards the entrance. Grabbing the rope, the two swung back to the Pearl, greeted by the crew. They were joyous when Jack told them about the gold and they were plotting on how to get it when a sudden white light erupted out of wreckage, blinding everyone for a moment. When it faded, the ship wreckage was gone.
"For the love of mother and child, what in god's name was that?" Gibbs stared out at the empty water. A soft thud was heard behind them which made everyone turn. Jack Sparrow collapsed right on the deck, shuddering convulsively.
"JACK!!" Will rushed over to the pirate and placed a hand on his shoulder. The shuddering stopped immediately as the captain jerked away towards the edge of the boat and hurled then remained hanging over the edge. "Jack? Are you alright?" Will and the crew edged over to where the pirate hung over the railing.
"This can not be happening," came a high pitched voice in a squeak. "Tell me I'm dreaming, but if this was a dream there'd be rum."
"Jack?" Will walked over to hunched figure. "Are you alright?" Without warning the figure whirled, causing the black smith to jump in surprise as a tanned face was glaring upwards at him with confused kohl rimmed eyes.
"Do I look okay to you, Will Turner?" Will had to swallow down a fit full of laughter. "This is not savvy at all." There stood Jack Sparrow, now about 3 inches shorter than Will with a curvy body rather than the muscular structure and clothing hanging loosely around the now too small limbs. There was also no trace of manhood but average sized boobs protruding out beneath the white linen shirt. Captain Jack Sparrow was now indeed a WOMAN!!!! Will couldn't hold the laughter in any longer and burst out howling, grabbing the railing for support.
"This isn't funny you eunuch." The now girl Jack shouted, causing Will to laugh even harder.
"How can you can me a eunuch when you don't even have it to begin with now that you've swapped gender on us?" Will choked out.
Jack did a very feminine move which made the crew begin to laugh as the she stomped her foot and stormed into her cabin and slammed the door shut while the deck outside roared with laughter.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
After about half an hours of laughing, trying to regain control, then laughing again, the crew finally pulled themselves together and hoisted sails to make port at Tortuga. Will snuck down to Jack's quarters and after once again composing himself, with the help of a slap on the face from Anna-Maria who was passing by to take hold of the wheel, he entered.
"Jack, we're going to Tortuga if that's okay with the captain's orders." He sat himself in the chair opposite the bed where a now furious girl Jack sat pouting with his arms crossed and having a sudden intense focus on the pillows.
"Well it's your call so why not," Jack snorted and flopped down onto her side with her back facing Will.
"It's not that bad," Will smiled widely. "The crew still has respect for you as a captain and we are going to Tortuga to buy some more rum."
"Easy for you to say mate," she rolled around and faced the smiling blacksmith. "You don't have to go around with the crew laughing and in clothes that are just about to fall off." Will was startled and finally noticed just how sloppy Jack's old clothes were fitting around his new figure. The shirt was practically falling off, slipping off both shoulders or sagging down one too low, not to mention the tail of hung almost to her knee level. Apparently Jack had already given up on his pants for she had torn off about half the length and fashioned then around her wrists to hold back the too big of sleeves. Her boots that were definitely too big were around the far corners of the room.
"Well at least the bandana holding back the flourish of hair and beads still fits." Will grinned, trying to lift the mood only to have a miscellaneous object, probably part of a broken bed post, thrown at his head. As if that wasn't enough, next thing Will knew, the entire girl jack was jumping at him, tackling him from the chair to the ground with one swift motion, pinning down his arms and legs with her own.
"I did that as a girl and without a single drop of rum," she snorted. Just then Gibbs walked in With Anna-Maria close behind him.
"Captain, we would like to know if Tortuga is the destination—oops," Anna-Maria had her hand over her mouth while Gibbs turned his head before continuing, "are we interrupting?"
"What would you be interrupting?" Jack snapped.
"Um, UMPH," Will fell back against the floor again when the now she captain sat down deliberately hard against his stomach, knocking the wind out of the younger man.
"As you were saying," Jack slapped on a look of pure innocence watching as the two flustered crew members fumbled for their words.
"We were wondering if there be any other place you would like to go instead of Tortuga," said Anna-Maria.
"Tell the crew to make for Port Royal."
"Right away, WHA?!" Gibbs stood in shock for a moment and the struggles of Will trying to shove Jack off also ceased.
"Make for Port Royal you scurvy dogs." Jack got up and shoved her way past the two shocked crew members and swaggered around on deck. "Come, come we don't have all day. Hoist the sails and brace the foreyard, you know the drill."
"Jack's been acting strange...er," whispered Gibbs to Anna-Maria. Will popped up right behind them and watched as the he turned she captain still walked with the same half drunk stagger up and down the deck shouting orders at the shocked crew.
"Well, he is a woman now," the blacksmith sighed. The three of them shrugged and went back to their posts and awaited port at Port Royal.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"WILL!!" a girl with flowing blond hair and in a London style dress skated up the dock where the crew of the Black Pearl had just landed.
"Hello Elizabeth," Will gave a hug as she looked around the dock at the now bustling pirates changing into civilians. "How's life with Norrington and all?"
"Commodore," Elizabeth corrected him. "Life is great with our daughter. The port is really flourishing these days."
"I'm glad to hear that," Will smiled.
"Where's Jack?" Elizabeth walked down the dock until a loud shout caught her attention and caused Will to slap his forehead in disbelief.
"ELIZABETH!!!" A girl slightly taller than Elizabeth herself came staggering down the plank, almost tripping once or twice in clothes that were obviously too big for her frame. "How is Will's favorite bonnie lass, hm?" She swung and arm around the younger woman's shocked shoulders.
"Who are you?" Elizabeth drew back with a slight hint of disgust as she studied the girl's figure.
"You don't recognize ol' Jac—," Will slapped a hand over the flamboyant girl's mouth.
"Jacklyne." Will spat out in a hurry.
"What?" Elizabeth drew forward in curiosity, staring deeply into the new girl's kohl rimmed eyes.
"Her name is Jacklyne...Raven. She just came aboard the crew say a week ago and OW!!!" Will let go with a jerk as Jacklyne stood there glaring up at him. "You bit me."
"Pirate," mocked Jacklyne sticking a tongue out at the furious black smith. Elizabeth was watching this with amusement until she finally remembered her question.
"Pleasure to meet you Jacklyne but where is Jack?" Jacklyne opened her mouth to speak but was once again clamped shut by Will.
"Um, Elizabeth," he winced when he felt teeth dig into his palm once more. "Could we maybe go back to your place and get Jacklyne here some well suited clothes?"
"Hm, OH," Elizabeth looked over the girl again with disgust. "How rude of me. Follow me. Norrington already has a carriage waiting for us." She grabbed Jacklyne by the arm and dragged her along with Will following right behind while the rest of the crew went to by provisions, rum, and whores.
"You'll have nothing to worry about at all after this my dear," Elizabeth smiled sweetly at the growling Jacklyne. "We'll have you fitted in some very comfortable dresses and shimmed up until you are the in the eyes of every fine gentlemen in the entity of Port Royal." Will turned a fit of laughter into a hacking cough when he met the eyes of a obviously panicking girl as she began to squirm to get out of the iron grasp of her tormentor.
"Look here mate, I appreciate everything and all but is it possible to skip the dress and just get me a pair of the same clothing that would fit. I'll be on my way after that no trouble at all for you and Norrington, savvy?"
"How do you know of me and Norrington?" Elizabeth slid into the carriage and "helped" the other girl in next to her. Will leapt onto the ledge and closed the door. Right before it slid shut he heard a murmur that sent him laughing all the way to Elizabeth's house.
"This is not savvy at all."
0-0-0-0-0-0
"OW, easy on the good luv, OW. THERE IS NOT WAY I'M WEARING THAT MATE!!! The bandana stays!!" shouts and hollers echoed down the hall. Will sat on a bench down the hall, dozing off slightly until a loud slam of the door jolted him awake.
"This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost forced Captain Jack Sparrow into a dress." A small figure with ravenous black hair and a staggering bow rushed towards the highly amused Will. When she arrived, a hardly slap to the face was what the startled young man received.
"I know I didn't deserve that," Will sighed as he desperately tried to hold back the laughter. Jack turned Jacklyne stood in a half ties corset with a long white under robe and a half layer of ruffles of an incomplete dress.
"You bet you did mate, and you'll get many more if you don't get that bonnie lass of yours to leave me alone and just get my clothes replicated for my size."
"There you are."
"Oh no," Jacklyne rolled her head and plastered on a perfectly innocent smile as he came face to face with Elizabeth and Commodore Norrington hanging around her arm.
"Honey, I'd like to introduce you to Jacklyne but she seems to already know you." Elizabeth smiled as he husband simply grinned like an idiot. "How's that dress coming along?"
"It's--."
"It's great." Will cut in.
"What are you doing?" hissed Jack turned Jacklyne.
"Getting your clothes replicated and saving my cheek." Will hissed back before turning to Elizabeth and doing a curt little bow before continuing. "However, we are not going to stay for long so it would be rather inexcusable of us to take one of Mrs. Norrington's beautiful dresses and then ruin it out at sea. So if it would be so kind that Mr. and Mrs. Norrington could have a tailor come and measure out a pair of swash buckle pants and a linen shirt with a tougher fabric of a vest for Ms. Raven here, that would be most appreciated."
"Of course," James Norrington respond with a haughty tone as he patted Elizabeth's arm. "See to our daughter please darling. I'll have these two a tailor within the hours."
"Of course dear," Elizabeth left. The instant she was out of earshot, James turned on Will with the fury of a rip current and a tsunami put together in one disastrous combo.
"I should have you in the gallows pirate. Keep your hands and eyes off of my wife." He growled. Looking around for a bit he then asked. "And where may I inquire as to the whereabouts of Jack Sparrow.
"Captain." A voice spoke up with utter harshness.
"What?" blinked a surprised Commodore.
"Captain Jack Sparrow," It was Jacklyne who piped up, sauntering up to Will, grabbing his elbow and leading him right into the face of a shocked Commodore. "And Will here is with me and we are quite the happy couple."
"I-I see," James stuttered. "Well then if you could follow me right this way, a carriage will be waiting just outside to take you to the tailor."
"You're a diamond mate," Jacklyne beamed a smile before dragging a quite surprised will out the door.
'Strange,' Norrington thought to himself as he followed the two out then directed the driver to the tailor shop. 'Sparrow had said that same line with the same two gold encrusted teeth. How did she even know me and know exactly what to complain about when I said Jack Sparrow, deliberately leaving out the Captain. Must be a coincidence.' With that, he shut the carriage door and headed back into the house to be with his darling daughter and lovely wife.
0-0-0-0-0-0
Meanwhile back in the carriage, Will sat staring at Jack turned Jaclyn as they rode toward the tailor shop.
"What?" asked the irritated girl causing Will to blush when he realized that he was staring. "If it's about me in a corset you'd better shut it or it's another slap in the face savvy?"
"No not that," Will sighed. "Just that—can I have my arm back?"
"What, OH," Jack released the blacksmith's arm with a laugh. "Sorry mate, thinking too much about just what exactly is this tailor going to do when I walk in there asking for my pirate's garb."
"Madame Raven?" the coach driver opened the door. "Mr. Turner if you would please." With a wave of his hand he gestured them to the tailor's office without another word, then drove off.
"Here goes," Jacklyne laughed swaggering with the old Jack walk then laughing heartily like a drunk. "Come on Will. The guys will eventually get tired of the tavern and I don't wanna imagine an upset crew barking around asking where their captain is then ending up in the gallows." Into the tailor's shop they went.
0-0-0-0-0-0
After much fighting, screaming, Will interfering, grumbling of displeasure from the tailor Jack's old clothes were made once more in a Jacklyne Raven size and now the entire crew was happily singing drunk on the Pearl as they set out for Tortuga.
"We're devil's scalawags with really bad eggs, Drink up me hearties YO HO!!" Jacklyne Jack was in a much better mood singing the song while he danced around in circles laughing with a bottle of rum. Will watched in amusement as the now smaller figure of Jack clashed and twirled around the now larger figures of her men crew with as much grace there was clumsiness. He was so entranced that he didn't notice Anna-Maria until she was leaning right next to him, starting him with a question.
"So," she asked with a smile when Will practically jumped onto the plank. "How did you happen to slip by the police and the Commodore?"
Will smiled back weakly, still recovering from the shock. "One is the fact that Jack was a girl in no way acceptable attire." That made Anna-Maria raise a quizzical eyebrow. "The second was the fact that Elizabeth married the Commodore there for would be absolutely furious if he once lover was harmed when he was doing nothing wrong."
"Did anyone find out about," Anna-Maria quirked her head in twirling girl Jack's direction. This made Will laugh quite hard.
"You can thank Jacklyne Raven for the help of covering up the current predicament." With that he went into the captain's quarters leaving Anna-Maria staring shocked until a LAND HO was heard and she quickly rushed to her station.