Wind blew into the boy standing on the bridge. Natural forces tried to take him down from the side, but he was putting up a fight. The little strength he had obtained from his life were keeping him up; he wanted to stay up long enough for him to think through the situation.
The boy had only entered his seventeenth year the day before, but it was still all going wrong. He always felt the same, and he always told himself that he would end it before adulthood. People always said that childhood was the best stage of life, so how could he let it go any further?
He took a deep inhale of breath. The place he had found was deep in the countryside; it was far from people, traffic, or hospitals. There was little to no possibility of him being helped – it was how he wanted it. The boy never wanted anybody to worry; he just wanted to be alone.
The wind held up its strength and speed. He looked down to the river below, which was rushing speedily ahead. The sun was starting to go down. It had taken him a whole day to get from Wokingham to the River Ribble, but it ensured that his parents would not be the ones to find him. He could not bear to give that pain to them.
The sunset was what he wanted to see last. As the sun greeted the horizon, red light filled the sky. He looked forward towards the nearby town, seeing people and lights. His eyes moved upwards to the sky, filled with colours. In his head, he admitted to himself that the world was beautiful – he just didn't have a part in it.
Then, the boy took his final inhale of breath. He jumped from the bridge.
Steady beeps awoke the boy. He heard only steady beeps – there was no rushing; no crying. It could not have been a hospital for it was so quiet. It must have been heaven.
Slowly, he opened his eyes. It was all dark. He felt bed covers draped around him, as well as a soft garment covering him. The room was small, with only 5 other beds. No light shone in from the window; all was dark. Only a night sky and a town could be seen from it.
He lifted himself up. All he wanted at that moment was a drink. The boy had a thirst for water which was unknown to him; he was sure nobody had ever been so thirsty. He looked to the side of the bed, but there was nothing. There was only a lone item, a label which said Daniel Howell, Patient Number 2403.
By this point, Daniel knew he was in hospital. He didn't know which one, whether his parents were there or for how long he had been there. However, he did know why he was there. He never thought he would forget the reason.
It was not the first time he had been in hospital. He had tried to die once before – only a few months ago. It was a similar experience, but he had been caught by his parents. They were terrified to let him go out after that; only after months of persuasion was he let out alone again. This made it certain in his mind that he was going to go further for this attempt.
This certainty had left him in confusion at this point. He didn't know what to do. Dan thought that he would be gone by this point, so never had to think of asking questions or getting up and leaving. In all honesty, he had no energy to get up and ask questions – all he wanted to do was lie down. He thought that if he slept, he may never have to wake up. That was his hope, but it was a slim chance – all the monitors were beeping steadily. He seemed in almost perfect help.
The light woke him up this time. It was daylight streaming in. There was more noise around, but not as much as you would think in a busy city hospital. It was calm and peaceful, giving the boy time to think.
He didn't feel that he regretted his actions. The only regret he felt the previous time was when he parents were crying in front of him. At this point, there was nothing telling him he should not do it again.
It felt like he had failed himself, if anything. In fact, it may have made him want to do it more. Dan felt he had the justification for all of it, and just needed the willpower. He was depressed, upset, and had mental problems – with the added frustration, he felt that he could have just left the hospital and ended it.
He was not going to do that. Most of him felt that he should just retry, but a small bit was telling him not to. This part was arguing that nature was trying to stop him. The wind was trying to push him to safety. Even more, he was safe and in hospital. The small part of his body was wondering if this was fate, if not desperately hoping it was.
Slowly, Daniel sat up. There were little aches and pains when he tried, but nothing too serious. He could happily breathe, which was mostly what mattered. He looked to the side of him, hoping for some water. Still, there was nothing. A sigh escaped his mouth.
This sigh alerted a member of staff. Daniel couldn't tell if it was a nurse or a junior doctor, but she came rushing over. She looked displeased. It looked as if she had only just woken up for her shift. As she came closer, Dan could read the nametag which she was wearing. The woman was Doctor Harriet Rainsford.
"I need to check your vitals," she said abruptly, grabbing his arm. The woman had a tight grasp, as if she was aiming to hurt the boy. Dan was sure this was not the case, giving her the benefit of doubt.
He nodded, despite knowing he had no choice in the matter. She was not the most kindly of doctors, but Dan was certain that she was just having a bad day or something. He never wanted to blame others for any discomfort – he would only blame himself or fate.
"Have you got any questions?" she asked, sounding like she didn't want any. The boy didn't seem to get the right idea as he blurted out some questions.
"Where am I?" he started, looking at her hopefully.
"Blackburn Hospital." The woman had a posh, southern accent. It sounded a bit out of place when in the north, but so did Dan.
The boy nodded at her, giving a gentle smile. "Are my parents here?"
She nodded her head, whilst raising her eyebrows. The child still did not get the message.
"Can I please have some water too?" This was what Dan was dying for. He had been wanting it for hours, but especially now. His throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert. It was almost a given that she would get him some water.
But she almost laughed in his face. "You almost drowned – we can't give you water yet." Dan didn't know that he almost drowned, but it made sense at this point. "Do you know what happened? You jumped off the bridge into the River Ribble."
She shook her head in disgust. Now, Dan was understanding – she didn't want to be there helping him. This doctor was not empathetic at all. Doctor Harriet Rainsford should not have been a doctor at all.
The woman scowled at Dan. "You're the sort of kid who wastes the NHS money and resources." She walked off, not taking another look at the boy. He felt upset and dismayed, but he felt like that most days.
Filled with sadness, Dan slithered down his bed again. He was lying down straight again, staring at the ceiling. He wondered if things would ever change for him – everybody seemed to have the same attitude towards him.
He heard a muffled noise to the left of him. It was not a monitor beeping, nor a radio playing. It sounded like a voice; one which was pleasant and happy. The happiness contrasted his sadness, bringing his attention to it.
Dan turned his head to the side to see a man. He looked about four or five years older than him, but you could tell he was a man. His hair was dyed black, but he was extremely pale. They looked each other in the eyes; he had bright blue eyes – the brightest that Dan had ever seen. This man's face looked happy, despite being in hospital.
"That woman is always horrible," this man said, chuckling slightly. "She moaned at me for having a broken leg from ice skating." It seemed like he was trying desperately to make Dan laugh. "She should have been happy I was trying to exercise for once."
That comment made Dan chuckle slightly. He never exercised either, so he felt he could relate to the comment. "I don't understand why people like that would want to become doctors," Dan said timidly, trying to join in without sounding overly eager.
"I know, right!" the man replied, laughing. "She probably was clever and thought it was what all clever people do."
Dan laughed and nodded. This guy was really friendly and helping Dan feel better about the situation. "She probably wanted the money too." The other man nodded.
Both of them were in hospital, and both seemed to want to not talk about the hospital. This made conversation difficult, and they were just left staring at each other. The other guy was chirpy and happy, giving reassuring smiles to Dan. It was beyond what he expected, and the smiles made him feel so much better about himself. The man was a good hospital-bed neighbour, if only for that small reason.
The awful doctor was back to check the man. "Phil Lester, I need to check your vitals."
Phil Lester. That was his name.