Christmas one-shot #3

Inuyasha x Kagome

The Zutons

Sleeping and Waking

Well I'm sure there's someone watching over me at night while I'm sleeping
'Cause no harm ever seems to come to me at night while I'm sleeping
They never let me wake to see who could be standing and guarding me
And when the morning comes they never seem to stick around

There are a lot of dangers in my life. Many more than I could ever have believed. They haunt my nights, sometimes, and leave behind trails of blood and death and hatred through my mind.

But then there is a hand on my face, and I can feel it through my sleep because it's warm and it soothes me, and the soft words whispered in my ear makes me know that it will be alright again.

And even when I'm not dreaming, I know there is someone protecting me when I let my guard down and rest. His presence makes me know that despite it all, I'll be fine, because although he's never told me, I know that he'll always protect me.

And if he hurts me during the day, if he gets me angry through his words or his actions or his attitude, I know that I'll always forgive him, because he watches over me, even though he'd never tell you that he would.

I'll always come back, because I don't want him not to be there.

He never wakes me up from my dreams. He simply sits, and waits, and lets the nightmare pass on through to something more pleasant, something calmer, but that's okay, because I think he knows about dreams too. His fears are different to mine, but he knows similar things to have dreams about, and I'm sure he too knows that one of the best things you can do is dream.

And he never tells me he's been there, and he never tells me that I was dreaming, or mentions my restless sleep, because I know he doesn't want to, and that's okay. And I know that he doesn't want me near him when he has nightmares, and that's okay too, because he's never there when I wake up either, and that makes it easier.

I see demons and spies with cyclops eyes at night while I'm sleeping
And girls with claws and blood stained floors at night while I'm sleeping

I dream of everything that we've killed on our way: the countless demons fighting us, so easily slaughtered by swords and wind tunnels and claws and Hiraikotsu and all the others. I see the ones taken by my own arrows.

They come for us. Crawl out of his hand and from up out of the ground, and surround us, a dead army brought back for final revenge.

I toss and turn as I run to escape them, try to reach for my arrows which suddenly seem too heavy to lift, crying out as they get closer.

I dream of our enemies, of Naraku with a black jewel in his hands and laughter ringing out. I see Kagura's feather high in the sky and know she is on her way to do something that will hurt us all.

I see Kikyo, smiling grimly at me, leading Inuyasha away, knowing I have lost.

I see Kohaku throwing his weapon at Sango, her screams ripping through the night in my mind from my mouth. I see Miroku's hand turn to darkness and envelop himself. I see them fighting each other to the death.

I see Shippo falling, unable to transform.

I see Koga's shards being ripped out of him.

I see Inuyasha, his resolve failing, becoming a demon… and I'm not able to turn him back again.

Then I feel his hand in my hair, softly stroking it back off my face, and I calm, and he comes in my dream to where I am cornered and sends them back to the ground, and behind him I can see the others, and soon we are all alright, and on our way again, to better places, and the hand leaves my head, but it's okay then, because I don't need it anymore.

I see bullets of steel and they clip my heels at night while I'm sleeping
And all the blades they spin and slit my skin at night while I'm sleeping

I dream of running, running with my friends. I dream of failing in our mission, of Naraku winning and us having to flee from him, never resting, pursued by countless hoards of demons.

I dream of coming back to my time and finding it gone, devastated- the result of our failure. I dream of us altering history.

I dream of fear, of dying, of a sword, a claw, of something piercing my body and finally taking me. I dream of the look in his eyes when he realises he's failed in his goal to protect me.

I dream of pain, and laughter at my expense.

And then I hear his voice and feel his breath against my cheek, and I relax, because there is no death around me, no pain. All of a sudden I know that their okay, and he's still the way he should be, and it will be safe when I wake. And soon his voice has faded, but by then I don't need it any more, so I don't mind.

And on particularly bad nights he will lie next to me and hold me briefly, I think, to comfort me, but when I wake up he's gone.

I must have had a hundred fights and changed dark into light
But when I awoke all this violence and pain was alright

And despite all the bad nights, every time I see a new dawn it feels better, it feels good, because I had him, if just for a little time, and it is proof he cares. It doesn't matter if he never tells me he was there, because I know he was, and that is all that matters.

And maybe it is all just a figment of my imagination, my over-worked mind trying to compensate for the nightmare. Maybe I'm delusional, maybe it is wishful thinking.

We all have nightmares, and we all have comforts after all.

But somehow, I know it is not.

I can tell by the way he smiles at me, just briefly, when no one is looking, something in his gaze asking me silently if I'm okay. He never vocalises it, and that's fine too. He's particularly loud the rest of the day, and as if to make up for his kindness he's particularly obnoxious, as if to stop anyone finding out, but arguing with him stops me worrying about it.

I'm not sure how long I'll have nightmares, but as long as he's there to comfort me, I don't think I really mind that much.

Not when his warm hands are on my face and his lips are on mine, just quickly, before we go to sleep as if to ward away all those bad dreams. As if he's trying to keep me safe in places he knows he cannot.

I don't mind, because he cares.