I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
This is really bad and short and I didn't do Alfred justice and there's probably loads of mistakes and the endings lame andandand-
Anyway.
Title: Love is Love, After All
Characters/Pairings: Wally West, Alfred Pennyworth, Wally West x Artemis Crock
Words: 1,687
Rated: K
Genre(s): Humour, Romance
Summary: Alfred sighed and nodded, smiling sympathetically at the boy. "Ah, yes. Love is love, after all, and love is rarely ever simple." Wally nodded. They stood in a comfortable silence for a few moments. "Wait- love?!" /Wally x Artemis. Alfred Pennyworth romance advice. :D 'Cause we all love that. Short oneshot.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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"Wally, please tell me why you insisted on coming to my house."
Wally mumbled in response.
"Does it have anything to do with Alfred's cooking? I'm assuming it does."
Mumble mumble.
Dick sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked towards Wayne manor, his seemingly depressed friend dragging his feet as he followed. Dick couldn't believe how moody this boy could get when he wanted to. When Dick had been making his way to the Zeta tube to Gotham, Wally had grabbed his sleeve and insisted that he was coming. It had only been the two of them left in the Cave, since M'gann and Conner were on a date, Kaldur was in the sea and Artemis had gone home, so Dick wasn't in his Robin costume. It made it easier to go home, since it looks a bit strange, Robin casually walking into Wayne manor - not to mention suspicious.
Dick rapped his knuckles against the door and glanced at his friend again. Wally had stopped a few steps behind him, arms crossed over his chest, gazing at the floor moodily. He was in his civvies and scuffed his trainers against the ground for a moment. Dick sighed and shifted his gaze back to the door, just in time to see it open. "You're early, Master Richard." Alfred Pennyworth, the Wayne family butler, commented in his well spoken manner with a hint of polite surprise, stepping aside to let him in.
Dick sighed. "Yeah, the mission ended early." He responded as he entered the large building. Wally walked in after him, greeting Alfred quietly. He didn't seem moody anymore, just lost in thought.
"Good evening, Master West." Alfred greeted, raising an eyebrow at the young boy. "The usual, I assume?"
"Yeah..." Wally answered, his voice sounding distant, as he followed Alfred through the manor and into the kitchen, where he took his usual seat at the table. He sat in silence for a while as Alfred worked, staring at the pattern on the wall without really seeing it. He actually was starting to consider the idea that he had gone insane.
"You seem troubled by something, Master West." Alfred said from where he stood at the oven. Wally heard it as a statement, but also heard the underlying question and sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I'm troubled by someone." He grumbled, and Alfred raised an eyebrow at his cooking equipment.
"And who might that be?"
Wally let his head fall forward and crossed his arms again. "A person."
"Yes, well, evidently." Alfred responded without missing a beat. "What I am interested in, you see, is that person's name, and why said person might be bothering you."
Wally groaned.
"It is my understanding that you came to me for food, but you also seek advice. I could, of course, go about my usual duties if you do not wish to talk."
"Fine." Wally grumbled, sitting up and staring at the ceiling. "Artemis is troubling me."
"Do you mean Miss Crock, yours and Master Richard's team mate?" Alfred asked, placing a tray of his famously delicious cookies before Wally. Wally took them eagerly. "She seemed like a lovely young woman. Why might she be bothering you?"
Wally finished eating a cookie before answering. Wayne manor was the only place that he understood what 'manners' meant. "I don't know. We're friends and stuff. She doesn't insult me as much. And when she does, she's just joking. Really, what do you put in these?" He stuffed another cookie in his mouth.
Alfred merely smirked at the boys question. "If what you said is correct, has she done anything to you without realizing?"
Wally shrugged. "I don't know if she knows."
"Well, maybe if you told me what about her is causing you trouble, Master West, I may be able to help." Alfred turned and started to clean the kitchen space he had used to bake the cookies.
"She's just so... so blonde."
Alfred raised an eyebrow, looking at him over his shoulder. "Blonde, sir?"
"Yeah, blonde." Wally crossed his arms, frowning, putting extra emphasis on the word to stress just how much this was bothering him. "And funny. Why does she have to have such a good sense of humor? It's so annoying."
"May I ask, sir - how is this annoying you?"
"Because... Because..." Wally had to think for a moment, before looking up at Alfred, who was still cleaning, with confusion in his eyes. "Because it gives me this weird feeling. Like, in my stomach. I'm ninety-nine-point-nine-recurring percent sure that it's bad."
Alfred simply looked at Wally for a moment, considering what he had told him. He turned it over in his head, examined that zero-point-zero-one (recurring) percent, thought about her too blonde hair and her too good sense of humor, and came to a conclusion. He smiled. "Master West, have you considered that you may... what is it they say, like this girl?"
Wally's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "Uh... but... I d-don't!" He denied, frowning.
His voice housed a hint of uncertainty, because Alfred was usually right, but he could be wrong for once, right?
Right?
"Well, why don't you list some more traits of Miss Crock that annoy you?" Alfred asked, hearing that uncertainty.
"Sure, I guess." Wally pondered for a moment. "Well, for starters, she always has to be better than me at stuff."
It was silent for a moment, and Alfred sighed. "Like what, sir?"
"Uh, she..." Wally focused on the table, tapping his fingers against it in an agitated rhythm. "She always beats me at video games! Yeah. And when everyone's around so that she can embarrass me! And she always makes these... faces when we're playing that distract me, so that I lose even more! If that makes sense..."
"Indeed, it does, Master West."
"And then she goes and... and..." He furrowed his brows in thought. "Flirts. Yeah. Flirts."
Alfred's eyebrows rose so much Wally could swear they would be hidden by his hairline if he were a few years younger. "... Flirts, sir? Whatever do you mean?"
"You know what flirting is." Wally grumbled, and when Alfred didn't respond, he continued. "What I meant is she flirts better than me. Which is just wrong since it is a widely known fact that I am supposed to be the most talented at woo-ing the opposite sex. It's, like, universal law." Alfred snorted. Wally was talking faster now, more sure in what he was saying. "Yeah! And when she asked Connor to a movie, if it wasn't Connor, because Connor is completely clueless, he would have totally said yes! Obviously, I was shocked and appalled, because she can't just... flirt with people! This is Artemis we're talking about!"
Alfred took a seat. He sat demurely, back straight, hands resting neatly on his lap, but the amusement on his face was slightly less unbridled than usual. "And why can't she flirt, Master West?"
"Because..." Wally's face and voice were distant. Staring at the wall, shoulders stiff, he thought furiously. "I don't know. It just... It makes me feel weird."
Alfred was silent in a way that urged him to continue.
"Like, in a bad way. A really, really bad way." He frowned.
The man parallel to him smiled.
"Could it be, Master West - and don't think ill of me, it is only my interpretation - that it could be jealousy you're feeling?"
Wally's frown deepened. He thought about this. He thought and thought.
He thought that maybe-
Just maybe-
He might just-
But, no-
No, thats just-
That's just what he's been denying for the last week.
"Oh... oh my God."
Alfred nodded. "Yes, sir. Oh my God."
Wally ran a hand through his hair, slumping in his seat and staring wide eyed at his lap. "But... why? She's... she's Artemis. Artemis! What... what do I do?!" Wally looked up at Alfred, panicked, but the man merely chuckled.
"Sir, it isn't the end of the world. Many people have been in a similar situation. You must simply tell her."
Wally's face was the picture of horror. "You're kidding, right?" A moment passed and Wally deflated. "You're not kidding. But, I couldn't just... tell her. It's not that simple, y'know?"
Alfred sighed and nodded, smiling sympathetically at the boy. "Ah, yes. Love is love after all, and love is rarely ever simple."
Wally nodded. They stood in a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"Wait- love?!"
Alfred chuckled. "Master West, shouldn't you be heading home soon? Not to be rude, of course, sir, but your parents must be wondering where you are."
Wally continued to stare at him in disbelief. Love? H-he didn't love Artemis! He simply liked her. He had only realized that, what, five minutes ago? Less? It still hadn't sunk in properly that he, Wally West, liked Artemis Crock. It was a bit soon to talk about love, right?
But, the voice of reason in his head whispered, he had long since realized it; he just denied it for all he was worth. Part of him didn't want to like Artemis that way, and it seemed that part of him was what he was listening to.
"Sir?"
"Hm?" Wally sat up straight, startled out of his thoughts. Alfred way looking at him, amusement all over his features. "Oh, yeah! Thanks, Alfie!"
He grinned and sped out of the door, the speed making a small wind that blew on the butler's apron. He shook his head and tutted, but he couldn't help grinning as he turned to prepare the Master's dinner.
He hoped Master Richard would not tell Bruce of Wally's visit; he was quite annoyed last time at how much the boy ate.