Drowning in Tears Chapter 1: the pain of yesterday, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Since most of my previous stories, are romance/tragedy, romance/action/adventure, or romance/drama. I decided a romance/angst story was needed to be included in the romance varieties............

This story is going to be a full-scale story, like most of my other stories and the couple is obviously setoXserenity, (I love that couple).

A/N: There will be minor doses of cussing and foul language, it is a PG13 fic so if you dislike that sort of thing please be aware of the prior warning. And it is an AU ficcy, so I am not going to bother with putting the plot into place with the Yugioh timeline.

I am a writer using English literacy and not American (notice the spelling differences e.g. colour, metre)

Summary: She fell in love with him She would cry for him, she would give everything up for him, and she would even die for him. She thought he loved her back, but she was wrong, he turned his back on her and left her scarred...................

Anyway I will get on with the story now and discontinue to interrupt.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh

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Drowning in Tears

Chapter 1: The Pain of Yesterday

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I cried a thousand tears, and swore a thousand oaths. I loved you till death and even then I would still love you. I thought our love was like the moon and the stars, with the only difference being our love would last forever.

I loved you more than life itself, more than gold, jewels or diamonds; I loved you with no mortal end.

I would give away everything for you, my house, my education, my friends, my family and my money even my own life. I would hold your hand when you were in pain, and pray for you when you needed help.

I would even die for you...............

Why did this happen to me? Why does love hurt more than hate? Why did the future become so meek? Why did love become diluted into nothing but pain?

Why couldn't I see the truth, the truth that in the end would become reality? Why was I so blind? All the precautions were there, but I was too naïve to comply.

The world I lived in was a fantasy, a dream, and a fairy tale that slowly converted into a nightmare, or a phantasm. The happily ever after ending never happened, and never will happen.

How could I be so ignorant to think I could change his ways, change his life? It was all a deceitful lie, a lie that began from the very beginning, but all I did was disdained it, when soon the lie would corrupt and it did.

Serenity glided aimlessly contemplating her history, the history she shared with him; it all come down to nothing. Now her life was hollow, an empty vortex depleted of any emotion; any emotion other than contemn.

The rain had previously drenched the streets of Toronto, Canada a few of the aluminum street lamps blinked animatedly, but a distressed woman strolling down that way gave it no notice.

Serenity clutched the sides of her body; her hands creased the gray moldy looking coat she wore, digging her chipped nails into the wooly, untamed fabric of the archaic coat she huddled in.

Wind teased with her lengthy uncut hair, her eyes were stained with fresh tears, and once in a while those tears would fall, only to be wiped away with her coat sleeve.

The street she walked on was isolated and seldom another living soul would pass by, but tonight the street belonged to her.

Nature stayed away from this street, trees failed to grow at any attempt and birds, or insects was usually found decaying or there just wasn't any.

Serenity paced along the uncomely pathway, the sides were chipped and the surface was amidst the process of deterioration. Natural and manmade waste disheveled the pensive street; buildings aligned themselves in basic etiquette, one after the other.

Even the cheap buildings, held no living soul just an empty crust or shell, the windows showed no inner light and the insides refused to move.

The sky lacked the guiding presence of stars, making the blank horizon look like a hollow hole with only a sullen moon there to protect the inhabitants of the Earth.

Forlornness colonized this moment, this place, tears fell for no-one to wipe away, pain suppressed her body for no-one to ease, and hate clouded her life for no-one to truce.

Serenity hugged her own body closer, soon midnight would hit the city and a new day will begin, but just like tonight, every night, every day will continue to be the same for Serenity.

Basically she was now a wasted shell, life was pain to her, and she had no one to live for, no one to die for, and no one to love. Her absence would cause no staining difference; she highly doubted anyone with the exception of her parlor friends would mourn over her death.

She had no divination to ease her very own pain; the pain he afflicted upon her, seven extensive years ago was when the truth unfolded. Even to this day, when she walked down this road, like she did everyday from then onwards, the stinging misery was still dew fresh.

The way he had hurt her, still remained like a acerbic sever constantly and forever stinging, the memories will never fade, they will everlastingly leave a scar on her, on her life, on her heart.

Seven years ago, when summer had taken a liking in Serenity's life, when she was still embracing the world as a beautiful masterpiece. Seto Kaiba walked into her life, he captivated her heart and she fell in love with what she thought was real love.

Serenity even trusted him with the precious virginity of her youthful femaleness. She let him take her, claim her as, his own; it was the first time she had ever made love with a man. The consequence was at first not one to be unwanted or disliked. Well not to her.

But unexpectedly Kaiba was not one to truly begin a life with a family, he was unprepared or basically disliked to have a baby born by his very own flesh One would wonder why, was it because he never sincerely loved Serenity, or was it only because he truthfully didn't want a baby to enter his life.

Serenity snorted at her own stupidity, she was a candid, guileless teenager blinded by insincere romance. She fell in love with his pseudo-act of what she fell for and thought was true love.

The way his words cut through her body, the way his hand slapped her cheek, or the way he hit her and mostly the way he reacted, when he found out about his embryo that was growing in Serenity's womb; his loathing disagreement. It was more than anyone can bear, it was hell right here on this unjust planet.

She could remember the day, her world, her life collapsed. The way her solid heart shattered, it was the day she knew would change her life forever...............................and it did.

zzzzzzzzzzz flash back zzzzzzzzzzz

Seto Kaiba stood with his back turned against the door and his lover, who silently leaned against the expensive craftsmanship of the cherry coloured Curly Maple door.

Her complexion was veiled by the sulking masses of hair, which adjoined together as her head bowed down into a lament pose. Her emotions couldn't be properly understood, but the uneasy aura of the room, served as a clue.

The looming structure of Seto Kaiba, stared at the nebulous atmosphere outside his door-length window. His stoned emotions, were delicately plastered on his picturesque face, sinking deeper with every passing second.

"You bitch, how dare you beguile me" "Ha....it was already extensively fucked up, that you used those fucking whoring methods to seduce me, now this, this thing is growing in you fucken stomach" Kaiba shouted towards the direction of the window, when the actual spite was fired at Serenity.

"....Sset...to....."

"NO..you fuck up I don't want to hear your petty alibis, just fuck up" Kaiba cut Serenity's sentence so sharply, it was like a platinum knife.

"And stop fucken calling me Seto, my name is Kaiba......KAIBA!!!! Not fucken Seto..." this time Kaiba spun around to emphasis his emotional cuss.

Kaiba's eyes turned an inhuman shade of garnet and his face was beaded with sweat caused by fury. Serenity continued to seal her eyes towards the ground, though she had felt his change of direction, and slightly quivered with sincere freight.

"I'm..m....s..sor..ry" the words were squeezed out of her lips, they were obscured by pure fear and became a shallow cliché. "I.........di..dn't...mean t..." Serenity's sentence faded by her shyness, she couldn't speak properly without shaking from head to foot.

Serenity tried to stop her own head from lifting its present position to gaze into the eye of the storm, but the alluringness of the whole situation was bound to her weaknesses, refusing to budge. Momentarily she bobbed her head upwards to see the war on Kaiba's face.

The sight made Serenity shivering accelerate, Kaiba's body was stunned in an anxiety fixed look. His eyes were facing sideways at the length way direction of the room, his hands were pressed into enlarged fists, and the pinkness of his cheeks, scared her.

"I never thought we would happen....to have.....a a...baby" Serenity started her sentence audible, but the last half was merely repeated by her lips and mind, hardly by her voice. ".....I thought you would have liked to....have......a baby.......together....."

Kaiba redirected his eyes that were protruding; threatening to pop in his eye sockets, with the center iris turn a progressing tone of fluorescent magenta. It would have seemed that he could have heard the last of her sentence, but a possibility of unheard dilemmas is a much more positive than the other.

The dove walls looked like a picture from an ancient black and white movie, one half of the curtains was let down while the other was firmly tied up. Every piece of wooden furniture in the room was made of Curly Maple, the most expensive wood, legally obtainable; and not surprisingly here in Kaiba's room.

"Get out, all you seem to be doing is wasting my FUCKEN time, I have no time to fucken waste!!!!" "SPEAK or leave" his sentence was completely clear in with general understanding, the key words were emphasized and underlined; it was an imperative.

"I don't know............." Serenity was drowned for words, she was lost in mind and in fear, and the concept was common, a general epidemic for all.

"You don't know what........ha.......what don't you know?...." his laugh had a bitter sharpness pointing out off the edge.

"Well I do"

"Your just a fucken whore who slept with me, and is now pregnant with a kid who you claim is mine, when it could be one of your other drunken customers on the fucken street"

"What do you want? My money or something...ha is that why you prance around the place telling me about some fucken information, that you have my child, and want what? Financial support? A place to live?"

"What the fuck do you want? TELL ME" Kaiba spat his words out precisely at Serenity, his eyes scanned her for any retorts or reactions; but she did nothing.

Serenity felt tears brimming at the very edge and vertices of her eyes, she refused for them to fall, which would cause Kaiba to sneer at her even more than he already was. It was a ticket to hell, all she had to decide was whether she would take it or not.

"I just....all I want is for you to consider the child as........your....own......and love him or her" her voiced croaked with frayed sounds, like a dieing radio or electric device.

"As my own?" "AS MY OWN?" Kaibas voice jumped to full volume the second time he let the words flow from his mouth.

"Excuse me you whore, but for all I know the kid could be some other man's, who wanted some on the street"

"And you just want to use me for my money" his evidence was not as solid as his words were, in his mind and heart he probably knew that the child was really his, but just didn't want to submit to it. Either because of his dislike for kids, or the fact that Serenity was only a novelty item that he liked to play with, but she malfunctioned.

"It is you child Seto.......I know it" her voice some how seemed more articulate than before, but maybe it is only because she spoke with a very decrescendo volume.

Kaiba either heard or didn't but he didn't bother to retort with a whole lot of cussing, his hands both dug through his hair and then slid down his face, in a furiously agitated manner.

He moved in a prancing maneuver towards Serenity and grabbed her head with little care or the ache or pain it caused her, tilting it backwards, so her eyes could involuntarily be set on him. "I want to get this whole ordeal and fake dilemma straight"

"I am not the fucken father of your baby, so get a life and get lost" his words caused Serenity to figuratively fade, tears gathered at the sides of her eyes, but somehow seemed to turn into solid formations of crystals and not actually be liquid.

"But it is......"

Kaiba's bottled anger had popped its cork, a spur or more like anger of the moment, corrupted him into what one would consider the least uncivilized manner a gentleman could perform.

He literally pushed her cranium to the opposite direction and smashed it onto the Curly Maple door. Serenity's lost partial conscience when her skull was damagingly thrown onto the solid surface of the door.

Crimson liquid dribbled down her forehead and leaked onto her complexion acting as tears, she cried tears of magenta.

Kaiba noticed this and his face flashed a sight of anxiety, but hardened once again, he turned his back on her limp body and paced towards the window that featured the outer horizon. And he continued to stare at the sky, when Serenity was severely injured.

Silence turned into dulled anticipation, the blood traveled further and even started to thickly drip on her pants while the maroon stains on her face was beginning to dry.

The window's curtains had now being fully lowered and joined together, blocking the view from outside and the outside from the view inside.

Kaiba no longer stood blandly staring towards nothingness, now he was perching motionlessly upon a cream, calf leather adjustable sofa. His large palms covered his face and his elbows rested on the arms of the sofa.

A short knocking noise gripped the attention of Kaiba; apparently Serenity had knocked her blood leaking head onto the door, which had finally awakened her unconsciousness.

She screamed in understandable pain, her hands clutched the fresh blood that ran from her head and real tears were diluted with the bright redness of blood.

Kaiba saw her awake but only placed his hands onto his face again; Serenity removed her hands from the injury to see it soaked in her blood. She tried to stand up but the sharp pain in her head made a scream emit from her mouth instead.

The second impact had caused, masses of blood to arise from her injury, her whole head was submerged in blood, and it stained her orange hair, changing it into a deep shade of rusty rouge. The blood made it hard to tell whether the injury was a minor or major cut; but the amount of blood leaking from within it was probably a major injury.

"Hel.....lp...." Serenity still said those words, though she didn't intend on let them reach Kaiba's ears. She pushed all the pain behind her to lift up her head to try and discover the expression Kaiba held.

Plain and simple, that was all that could be used to plainly describe the look Kaiba held. Pensive or so, his face was downcast, and didn't bother to even meet look up; Serenity however was, as you could imagine dieing.

Her head felt numbed by excessive pain, she wanted to fly; escape from what ever had never ceased to let go, leaving her without the freedom to run. Kaiba rose from his seat and walked towards Serenity, with not much of a caring expression glued on his face.

"Looks like you banged your head..........go to the hospital" Kaiba didn't even look at her when speaking.

Serenity didn't change her current position, kneeling on the ground with her head between the comforts of her two arms. Almost pretending she couldn't hear his words.

"You heard what I said" "Or are you deaf?" Kaiba's face blackened with his voice. Presumably it was meant to sound convincingly caringly, but the rest of the sentence just ate itself up.

"GET UP" "GET LOST" "Go where ever, just get away from my sight" Kaiba jumped to his feet and moved in Serenity's direction. He acted as if she was the criminal, when his own corruption was the real felon that ruined someone else's life.

Serenity could feel every word, it drowned her in tears and in blood, the stinging of Kaiba's words sheered her skin like hot irons.

She prodded her chastised body upwards, so her feet could support the rest of her body. Even a simple motion like this caused tremendous laceration to her.

"What are you standing here for?" "GET OUT" "I never want to see your FUCKEN face AGAIN" his fists grew hot and so did the rest of his body, a palm lifted in the air and slapped Serenity in the face.

Kaiba turned his palm around and glared at the tinted markings of scarlet pigment that mildly covered his hand. His eyes averted their attention to the silenced woman leaning lamely against his varnished door.

There was nowhere the burgundy liquid hadn't devoured, her hair, her face it was all the same colour. Serenity indistinctly turned the gold doorknob with her left hand, leaving it with a bronze stain.

He continued to stare at her as if anticipating her every action, he was sharp and could see the hesitant twisting of her arm. "You must think I am really diluted don't you?" Serenity jolted and paused her body from finishing the escape.

"Unlike you, I was never blind" "Well, what are you waiting for GO, escape that is what you want? Isn't it?" he slid towards Serenity and peered downwards so his face was right above her injured head.

His index finger picked up her chin and commanded her to look into his eyes, "LOOK at me!" he shouted an imperative and Serenity's rouge cheeks twitched.

"Your just a bitch, did you know that a plain, good for nothing bitch" "You came into my life, with what goal?"

"What were you trying to achieve" "Did you want my money, my house, my company?"

"What the hell did you fucken want?"

"Tell ME" "WHAT DID YOU WANT?" Kaiba pinched his thumb into her reddened chin; her eyes refused to open and were bolted shut.

"WHAT?" "Can't you speak, tell me what did you want?" the words passed through his clenched teeth.

Serenity blinked her eyes open and with them followed tears, but they only reached as far as the creases if her eyes. "All I wanted...............all I wanted was your love"

His finger and thumb tightened the pressure on her chin; Serenity did nothing other than stand there and act venerable. "You bitch" the whispered seemed to only briefly reach her ears.

"YOU BITCH" his hand released its hold on her chin and forced a slap on her bloody cheek.

Tears were released in Serenity's eyes and ran all the way down her cheeks, glowing redder by every traveling distance. Her hand reached for the knob and turned it so the door was capable of opening its soothing light.

Serenity pulled the Curly Maple door open and removed herself from the melancholy within Kaiba's room. Her steps hastened down the crimson-carpeted halls.

She heard a sharp slam behind her, and light was swallowed away. Serenity closed her eyes when tears resurrected from her eyes. Antique-rimmed paintings of views and natural wonders, guided her way down the grand hall, her light feet pounced down the first set of stairs.

Serenity turned right and picked up her acceleration, a caramel door that had a gap to separate it from closing let off an amber candlelight.

A lock of black hair caught her attention but disappeared along with the light. Serenity reached the last staircase, with it's gold painted armrests and garnet velvet carpets.

It wasn't long before she reached the towering double doors, Serenity pondered about whether it was lock or not, in order for her successful escape.

She turned the cup-sized platinum doorknobs, and to her amazement the door was unlocked and free for her to leave. The outer atmosphere breathed on Serenity's skin and brought goose bumps to sensitive skin.

The sudden arctic environment pushed great pain on her bleeding skull, but the injury wasn't the only pain Serenity had received.

zzzzzzzzzzz end flashback zzzzzzzzzzz

It had been seven long years, since that man Seto Kaiba had penetrated her heart, only to scar it in shattered despondency. He had broken her heart, and a broken heart can never fully mend, a certain stitch mark will always be visible to remember the pain, or sometimes it wouldn't stitch together at all.

Winter had blanketed Canada, and refused to let go, Canada always had a certain indefinable melancholy attached to the wet, and icy weather. That was why Serenity decided to move here, its environment matched her blemished traits.

Since then Serenity had moved in light of starting a fresh life, here in Toronto Canada but so far the past seemed to haunt her, latching on to her and becoming part of her, part of her life.

The road was long, and seemed to have no finish; it was just one vertically straight line with no intersections or sibling roads leading off or on to it.

Serenity decided to savor the crispness of the midnight and delay her footsteps, she was walking home but so far only a small percentage of the journey was completed.

The happiness fell with further velocity than even a nasty temper; Serenity lost all when Kaiba refused to recognize and consider the baby as his own. She had already given him or her a name, Matt if it turned out to be a boy and Blissy if it was a girl.

She had given a thought of keeping it, and even succeeded in walking out of the termination session, and the hospital in Canada, but the certainty left her right then.

Later only a few consoling hours after, she decided on a considerably solid decision. Serenity sat on an endangered park bench while brainstorming the pros and cons of raising Kaiba's baby, and in the end the cons overruled the pros.

It was then she walked back into the hospital; the doctors and nurses were slightly agitated by her randomness to leave, but partially understood the indecisive torment she was currently going through.

That day was presumably the most undecipherable in the whole years of her premature life. She went along with the operation while still holding down the part of her that wanted to keep the baby, but also then within wise intentions, not only would it cause emotional suppression but financially Serenity was unable to succeed.

If she had given birth to the child that would have genetically bore the last name of 'Kaiba' he or she would most likely have ended up in an orphanage. And the sin and torment of been unable to watch her flesh and blood grow up, was even more impossible to bear.

Serenity was clumsy and inattentive of her own health and well being, looking after a baby with attentive needs was near impossible.

The termination had proven positive; the baby as later examined, turned out to be a girl, Serenity had almost felt hollow without dead little Blissy somehow intertwined within her. Rue was the natural emotion one would feel after the death of your own baby.

Tears were more often normally seen after the abortion, the nurses at the hospital offered Serenity counseling but every appointment booked, was an absence of her body. In the end the nurses and doctors were slowly silenced from helping the emotional recovering of her mind.

She had rushed the trip to forever leave Japan, and make Canada her new home, so rushed that the abortion had to be held at a Canadian hospital.

Partially because she didn't want Joey or anyone in her past to take part in what was her decision. And another part, because she disliked the idea of Joey, Yugi or the gang to find out she wanted to do, which was to have the baby terminated.

It was no ones decision but hers, and hers alone.

Work was usually normal; she would get told off by her boss, then continue to ruin the whole beauty parlor. Serenity didn't even understand why she was landed with this job; it was a totally different field from what she diligently studied at Tokyo University for six long years.

Consider it all a waste, her life long dream of becoming a lawyer was a mere blank hope, an ambition she was unable to fulfill, or more like ignoring to fulfill.

She had obtained a masters degree in law, and was accepted into a prestigious law agency in Tokyo, but after the whole ordeal with Kaiba and her teenage pregnancy, she refused probably the best offer her life would ever bear.

She still couldn't quite grip, the reason why she refused the offer and gave up the hopes of living a rich and prosperous life, a life she persevered in fulfilling her whole life.

But in the hidden chambers of her abyss mind and heart, she knew it was the choice she would be happy with, consider it cowering from reality, but she felt safe and that was all she needed.

Serenity gave up, or threw away everything after Kaiba had broken her, her job offer, her friends, her life, her baby, even her beloved brother Joey. She would rarely speak or communicate with him nowadays, it seemed like she avoided him, but he didn't bother to enclose that void either.

Joey was blind about her relationship with Kaiba, because both were certain it wouldn't go right if he was included in the picture, but even without Joey's interference the relationship still failed.

Sometimes Serenity would wish she did tell Joey about the hidden relationship, and he did find out, when it was too late.

He had known about the baby and didn't comment on her to keep it or terminate it, maybe he just didn't care. Serenity felt so isolated when her most reliable relative refused to continue to take part in her grief stricken life.

Serenity swore she could see Joey fume in angst, even though he tried hard to suppress his raging emotions, she could see the way he clenched his fists and sounds of destruction that would arise from his bedroom.

Joey refused, or simply didn't want to talk to her, even on the day she immigrated to Canada, he attended the airport but an audio farewell was silent, and a visual bayed was blind. He barely kept eye contact with her; he just stared at the floor, or anywhere else but her.

The whole Gang was there, forceful hugs and kissing on cheeks was absent, it didn't happen, just a plain 'Good bye' was all that emitted from their mouths. Serenity remembered herself biting on her lip, to stop herself from breaking into tears.

When pondering over truth, Serenity crossed the thought that the whole Gang, including her brother did much better without her presence. They didn't need her to be happy; nobody did.

Seldom a letter or email would arrive from Joey, even more rare a telephone over from Japan, she had counted the number of times Joey had communicated to her at all in the last seven years, and it was only six.

In them he would plainly and with, as less description or adjectives as possible, he would state where each of the gang had been up to and where they are.

Apparently Yugi and Tea were just engaged and the marriage was not long after, though Serenity had no mention of this holy matrimony other than a brief 'they got married' in one of Joey's letters.

No date no explanation, nothing and even less she didn't receive a notice or possibly an invitation from the bride and groom themselves, being one of their oldest so called 'friends'. But nothing came.

Duke had found a new path in America, though why and what he did there was blank. Tristan had found new love who's name wasn't mentioned and now works at an engineering factory, that made or did something, that Joey was too short written to tell her about; or neither did she care.

Mai and Joey had proven a successful couple and were on the verge of marriage, once again Joey did not apply this information; rather it was pondered by Serenity's own conscience.

According to Joey's information brief and lacking letter, Serenity could possible locate were all her previous friends were with their lives; much better without her.

Sometimes Serenity would read the letters or email to herself over and over again, and every time she did, the result would be more pain and tears.

Dawn was creeping its way into the city of Toronto; a fiery ablaze lit in the edge of the horizon and melted away the ravaging darkness. Day was rising from its brief slumber shining in victory, while night was dying of loss.

Serenity realized the sudden change in perspective, and bobbed her head up for a brief minute to see, her eyes lost interest and her neck crouched downwards again.

Today, like everyday was what her daily routine would be, at 7:30am in the morning Serenity would go to work at the Style beauty parlor, and work till 8:00pm when she would seldom eat dinner, and leave her body to wander this very isolated street.

She barely went home, it seemed this very street was her sanctuary.

It seemed that day-by-day, her health depleted and failed her; her body had taken its toll and changed Serenity's once vigorous and youthful features. With previous having an abortion, it was even more physically poisonous on her body.

Her friends at the beauty parlor worry for her, but she would always shut away their supporting comments, usually their consoles would end up with her friends talking to themselves.

Serenity had even adapted to recognize when a life lecture was lingering around the corner, and automatically she would escape or turn herself off.

Life proved superficial and callous in Serenity's eyes, she even lost the proud recognition for the beauty Mother Nature creations, like the parks she use to strolled down or the waves rippling on the ocean.

Her days were polluted with lost thoughts, and diverged concentration; her friends booked an appointment for a therapist, only to have Serenity curse uncontrollably at the stunned counselor, and no appointments have been booked from that day forward.

Serenity supposedly lost the beauty of her complexion and body, the very day he had shattered her fragile heart. Her eyes never gleamed with joy and laughter, and premature wrinkles embedded themselves on the bridge of her nose and forehead.

She was now at a wise age of 27 but, to herself and some others she looked 40, her skin lacked moister and Serenity didn't bother to help it or mend the problems.

The skin on her cheek started to peel and chafe, depression was controlling her solemn life. And she suffered from it.

Although Serenity worked at a beauty parlor, beautification was the last thing she had on her mind, Serenity would sometimes ignore cleansing her skin or even moisturizing it. Looks didn't matter to her anymore; she had no one to look beautiful for.

Wind scraped her rusty brown hair, it was roughly tied in an unkempt bun, but most of it had fallen apart and hair was dangling all over the place.

Strangely minor strands of premature gray hairs have shown their silver faces, the boringness of their presence wasn't cause by old age, but instead by stress.

Serenity's mane had completely lost their previous shining healthiness; it was now split ended, statically uncontrollable and dandruff irritated her scalp, sticking in-between her humid strands of hair.

Sometimes at shops or restaurants, people mistake her for an elderly woman, or aunty, Serenity didn't care about those complements anymore.

The first time that happened, she felt heat rise on her face, but now it was almost a daily habit. Serenity looked terrible, like time alloyed with depression stole every physical beauty away; it was true, she stood on a thin line between beautiful and ugly.

"Ha...its now 3:00am in the morning" "Its nearly time to go home, work would be starting soon," Serenity told herself peering slightly at her watch.

She was use to it, living this sort of a life; she could even predict when it was time to return back to her apartment. Serenity never slept, it only caused more openings of pain, and a whole night of unheard crying. She decided to replace sleep, by walking on this street, she still cried, but liberty eased her pain.

Coral blueness now took up majority of the sky, and black hollowness melted into violet streaks. The bright sun gleamed on Canada, and Serenity felt a sort of shyness to sunlight.

Her pace hastened, and wind lifted her hair up so it was flying in the sky, Serenity's hair was now nearly past her posterior, and proved difficult to tame. She retreated into scrunching the fair strands into an inadequate bun, or ponytail, but that didn't last for a whole day.

Serenity turned the corner, and halted when her feet left the pathway of her street 'Downs Street', she felt incomplete but quickly rubbed the feeling off.

Immediately the environment that was one step away from 'Downs Street' was immensely different, this street was clean and replenished. It felt unusually foreign, even though Serenity had been crossing this street to her apartment for nearly seven years now.

The concrete sidewalks were recently laid and remained in excellent condition, tendered for and polished, while 'Downs Street' was abandoned.

"Siren Street" Serenity spoke to herself, she always walked this way to return home, but she had never bothered to learn the name of this street, the street that connected to 'Downs Street' where her heart lay. It was her savior.

Serenity noticed a few people walking on the street, she felt uneasy, usually 'Downs Street' was depleted of any life and that was how Serenity wanted it to be like; that is how she wanted to live, alone in solitude.

Before her relationship and through it, Serenity was always pictured small, elegant and slim. Nothing about the body has remained the same; she was now almost twice as skinny as she was before.

Doctors in Canada diagnosed her with anorexia caused by depression, but she didn't bother to take the recommended pills and medicine that they had prescribed to her. She didn't care about those things any more, she acted that way because she wanted to, and no one could change her.

When Serenity had arrived in Canada, she actually suffered from obesity caused by depression, then moved on to bulimia by depression, now anorexia caused by depression. Every sickness she got was from the one thing that cursed her life, depression.

Serenity wondered if Joey would care about the fact that his once beloved sister was basically murdering herself. She would rarely eat meals or snacks and would only appease her daily needs with a cup of milk, which would satisfy her invisible hunger.

She could even remember the last time she had eaten a complete meal; it was at the hospital when she had fainted at work and her boss called an ambulance.

That was the first day the doctors had been involved with her health excluding the time she had her abortion, they forced her to eat carbohydrates, protein, calcium and most of all lipids.

Serenity accepted, but only for one day and three meals, they believed her lie that she dramatized for their shallow eyes. She would secretly regurgitate the contents after every meal, pricking the tonsils tucked at the back of her throat, and claimed she needed to use the lavatory as an alibi.

Serenity was even sure, that at least one of the nurses or doctors were suspicious, but a healthy glow surfaced her face, so they let her go after two days. Right after stepping out of the hospital, Serenity's glow disappeared, and she returned to being fatally ill.

Some might cower and squirm, but Serenity did nothing of that kind, some might consider her naïve and lacking in knowledge, or others might just blandly specify her as mentally retarded.

She wouldn't lift a thought about others remarks, she didn't care because now there was nothing considered valuable left to care about.

She wasn't afraid of diseases or epidemics, if today she were diagnosed with cancer or aids, her life would continue to be simple and wandering.

To put factual information and emotional thoughts as primary and plain as possible, Serenity Wheeler wasn't afraid of death.

Serenity walked in almost a queer way, her head was struggling to be tucked into the unraveling cameral scarf and her feet scarped the brittle surface of the ground, refusing to lift upwards.

If first impressions were importantly etiquette, Serenity would have been shot, she looked much or exactly like a beggar that was too stubborn to beg.

A few old women strolling along the same street peered towards her, with a disgusted grimace on their creased faces, Serenity was noticing such gestures, but paid them no attention.

The air was primarily, and knowingly thick the morning freshness was all the more refreshing to Serenity. She did not need sleep to revitalize her day's torment, the walk through the night, and the mint air replaced sleep for her.

Traffic lights were supposedly wasting Canada's electricity, which equaled money, there was hardly any cars traveling on the road so agonizingly early in a working/weekday morning. Some vehicles held the obvious clues of prior booze and dazed perceptions; this all became a powerful elixir for death.

All of this didn't interest Serenity; she kept focused on the pathway below her feet and walked towards her secluded apartment.

It wasn't among the so-called bad parts of town; it was actually situated quite unfittingly near elegant, miniature boutiques and minor grocery stores.

Quite normally like always in Canada, pristine flakes of snow fell like angels from their unknown origin. A few touched Serenity's nose and face, but she ignored them like she ignored everything else.

Over pitched feminine laughter rose from the vicinity within one of the second hand clothing and dressing gown, boutiques. A lilac light seemed to center the inside of the store, leaving hardly any glow to reach the sidewalk.

Serenity slid past, walking in a moderate pace like she had nothing more interesting to do, which was quite true. The laughter would curiously alarm any passing pedestrian, those that couldn't resist to actually peek at what made others so gallant with snorting laughter.

The giggles never ceased to end, it made her ponder whether or not the ladies within were actually breathing or not. But even with the temptation of a giggling frenzy, and the thought of looking into the full-length glass windows, Serenity managed to control the unnecessary emotion perfectly.

The ground was soon covered in a shallow layer of snow particles, either quartz flakes or puffed balls of snow. But the road wasn't the only place the snow had fallen on; it had tangled itself between Serenity's tan strands of dry hair.

They had placed their celestial bodies on her clothes, decorating them like scatters of glitter or jewels. The flakes or balls never lasted long, soon they would melt and disintegrating leaving a microscopic dot of frozen liquid.

Serenity had managed to scant past the short ending line of shops, which aligned themselves in order. Not looking once to see beyond the shatterproof glass, to browse at the items or people within. She was not interested or couldn't be bothered, but she certainly had time.

In only a matter of fifteen minutes, the horizon had managed to lighten faster than electric light bulbs. The chalky blueness was still developing, currently at the state of dusted jade.

It seemed as though a few extra inhabitants were strolling on the street, but the numbers were still not vast enough to bother Serenity; even though, she still decided to hasten her acceleration like a vampire running from the sun.

Serenity turned a corner of an intersection, on the side of a fast food shop and made her way vertically downhill. This road lacked even more human visitors, but somehow the whole general charisma, had increased in satisfaction.

Apartments that soared into the dusky sky or even ones only three or four stories high, they still managed to waft off a homely scent. A few apartment buildings were bejeweled with the very essence of money, letting all know that this was where, those who could make the big bucks and wanted a small habitat, could live.

Every apartment there had Italian style balconies, stuffed with sunbathing chairs, and Hawaiian picnic tables with a floating parasol standing in the middle. Canada had no 'sunny weather' or hardly, making minimal use for hibiscus imprinted parasols, or sunbathing chairs.

The entry to the apartments of the rich, were barricaded with tree-height aluminum alloyed iron bars. The fences were decorated with preposterously overly expressed pictures, created by the art of bending bars.

There were pictures of flowers, patterns, and other generally shocking drawings made from iron bars that became part the gates. The slim bars of iron that were artistically curved into pictures looked rather feeble and easy to manipulate. But then again, walking among the rich could cost you more than a pair of ripped pants.

Even though space was endangered, the architects never ceased to grandly intensify the surroundings with bushes, botany and flowers that looked like they were paid to bloom.

There were golden chrysanthemums for those who preferred the dryness of autumn and frangipanis for people who are awed by the tenderness of summer. Peach blossoms, quietly shed her pretty faces in the eastern corner of the buildings, and scattered forget-me-nots popped their heads among all the other seasonable plants.

But the green foliage themselves, look more or less like flowers of their own, shaped and sculpted to primal perfection. Everything about the rich apartments, made Serenity long to be rich, but then when too much of that thought had entered her mind; she halted from continuing to think like that.

She hastened past the apartments, hoping to get the sickening thoughts clarified from her mind. Slowly with each passing apartment, some kind of grandness seemed to be diminished.

Serenity nearly skidded to stop herself from wearing the sole right off her Doc Martin's, the tall apartments shaded a smaller one that could easily be missed due to its cuteness in size.

There were only four floors, each accompanied by a simple English window and a sun booth, the outer whiteness of the paint looked gray because of the lack of sunlight.

The morning transfixion was nearly complete, Serenity stared at her apartment before making her way down the driveway. It sloped in a curvy path, extending vertically before resuming an upward direction.

At the very bottom of the apartment floors, a low ceiling car park with only four cars present nestled themselves in-between the painted lines.

In the western vertex, three oblong-shaped sap green rubbish bins attracted a few shiny-bodied flies, which buzzed contently around the closed black lids.

The concrete ground had small puddles of murky brown liquid, which Serenity didn't bother to ignore. She either stepped in them having the substance dot the legs of her pants, or the liquid was too shallow to make a mark.

In the very middle of the car park was a pair of chrome escalators and next to them was a maroon coloured door that was slightly ajar. Serenity slid her feet in the direction of the door leaving wet footprints whenever she took a step.

The hem of her senescent Levi Strauss drawled on the dusty ground picking dirt wherever she walked. Serenity coiled her tonally spotty hands around the metal door handle. The aluminum gripped the palms and fingers of her hand, gluing them on the icy touch of chrome.

The responsiveness caused a momentary sensation to ripple through her body; it entranced her mind and tangled with her thoughts. She felt eased, like the raw coldness bit through her veins and arteries, it made her feel transparent blissful and maybe even, forgiving.

She instantly realized her delay and wedged her hand away from the poisonous touch of iced metal. The insides of her palm and fingers seemed artificially stained with coral pink paint, a few seams of skin had blood encrusted on the corners.

Serenity shook her left hand and patted it on her gray wool ankle-length coat, her face strained with stinging discomfort. "Shit" the words emitted from her mouth, before she resumed her way towards her apartment.

The stairs were absurdly squished, luckily for Serenity she wasn't a claustrophobic or else her sanity would be forced to collapse. The stairs were fairly clean, but humanly things such as a piece of rubbish or shoe smudges were inevitable.

Serenity went up in a twirling direction, and ever time she reached a floor there would be a door with the floor number clearly printed in black paint, that reflected the light's rays.

After five or so minutes of strolling up the confined stairs, the block letters of floor number '4' flashed in front of her face, Serenity paced towards its silver knob and wrapped her hand around it to turn the handle.

The door let off a prolonged squeak and Serenity entered floor number four where her apartment was situated. Every door was covered in an arid brown colour and the innocent white walls of the hall strained her eyes.

Serenity turned left and walked down the plain hall, the floor was bedded with a gray-navy cement floor. Her flat heels made a graceful pat on the heavy stone floor.

A door with the same acidy brown colour as every other next, or around it bore the bronze inscription of the simple number '10'. Serenity stopped in front of the door and reached inside her coat pocket to reveal a copper-tinted key with a rusty brown chain hanging from it.

She inserted the key and opened the door to her apartment. Serenity reached for the light-switch and flipped it upwards opening a shaded bisque light bulb, which swayed anxiously on an insulated piece of white cord.

Her room was completed in a thick grayish brown colour, the two couches with their torn backs facing the door had bits of stuffing poking out of it's sea-foam gray covering.

The place wasn't dirty or exactly unkempt, but lacked a homely welcome; it lacked a soul and serene environment. Serenity walked into her home and accidentally stepped on the latest edition of the Canadian Times (A/N: this is a made up name for a newspaper).

She bent down and picked up the thick thirty-four pages of a weekly delivered national newspaper. Without glancing at the titles and articles she threw it all on the kitchen bench.

Serenity closed and locked the door behind her, she walked towards a mini fridge that was only a metre tall, and was painted a queer colour of green.

She got out a medium bottle of standard milk, then reached into the upward cupboards and grabbed a transparent cylinder shaped, glass cup. Serenity poured herself half a cup of milk and began to drink out of it, when a picture on the newspaper drew her attention.

On the very front page, an A4 sized photo of the leading entrepreneurs of 2004 showed the front shot pictures of around 10 or 12 businessmen and women.

Serenity scanned the photos for the one that caught her attention, and she found it. On the second row and fourth down was a picture of Seto Kaiba, shining his bored face and dressed in a navy tuxedo, complete with a white tie on a black shirt.

The cup slipped from her hand and collided with the tile ground, shattering into a multitude of broken fragments. Milk moved across the floor and seeped within the grout gaps.

Serenity threw the newspaper onto the puddle of milk and Kaiba's face soon dissolved into a disarray of gray and black ink. Her eyes were forced shut and when she opened them they reflected with tears.

She used the newspapers to soak up the milk before scrunching it into a hand-sized lump and threw it into the trashcan that stood beside the fridge.

Serenity pulled the average sized pearly white rubbish bin towards the smashed glass and started picking up the larger pieces with her bare hands. She had managed to throw all the large fragments into the bin, and fetched a brush and shovel to pick up all the smaller pieces.

After all the seeable glass pieces were safely tucked away in the trashcan, Serenity walked to her answering machine and pressed the play button.

"You have four messages"

"Message number one" "Hey Serenity its Eliza, the girls and I are thinking of going out tomorrow night. Call me if you decide to come, or even if you don't want to come, call me anyway. Thanks

"Message number two" "This is doctor Ralph, Serenity Wheeler, please call me on my office number as soon as possible. I just want to discuss your medication issues. Thank-you.

"Message number three" "Serene, its just Amy just calling to say hi. I hope your doing ok, and sorry I could come to your place on Sunday. My father had forced me to go on a family outing. So if you have time call me.

Serenity lifted her lips into a curved smirk, sometimes her parlor friends were slightly over persuasive, not to mention annoying.

"Message number four" "Hey sis it's me Joey........... it's ben a while hasn't it?"

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Well, how was it? Please review.................because I have the second and third chapter all planned out, if you want it to come faster......then please review!!!!!

Just to mention, if you like reading setoXserenity stories I have a short collection of them (which I will be updating soon) and I know just which stories are jewels to read.

THANXXX