At the End of the Road
Shuichi's POV
At the end of the road, what's left? Four years, four long years of staying with a tortured soul burdened by past memories. Finally, he is free of the pain of betrayal, and he is whole again. Able to smile honestly and laugh out-loud. To show his affections without restrain. I want to be happy for you, Yuki, that you are cured, no longer the hurt little boy who hides behind a cold bitter mask. But alas, I have forgotten what it feels to be happy. All I feel is a sense of conclusiveness to what I have titled, the "Yuki Mission". A mission I didn't even realized started that fateful day when I met you in the park, when I fell in love.
Love, another foreign feeling to me now. Everyone expected me to be the baka with thick-skin, who will never hurt no matter how many times you hurt me with cruel words, or throw me out of your apartment in the middle of the night in my boxers. Words I didn't deserve. Or did I? It doesn't matter anymore. I'm numb now. I don't remember when it started to not matter, and when I decided that even if you said "I love you", those three precious words I once wanted and would have done anything to hear, are useless. Yes, useless emotions, things that only bring dashed hopes and endless pain. You brought me inspiration to write my music, you gave me the experience of falling in love, and you taught me well how to hide behind a mask. I learnt so well, you don't even realize I was long gone now, do you? That my smiles are empty, my eyes are not really shining, and my soul is cold. The only time I even feel anything is when I sing, my only savior. Otherwise, I would have given up my "Yuki mission" and committed suicide a long time ago.
Yes, I, Shuichi Shindo, having suicidal thoughts. What is the world coming to? The cheerful, hyper idiot who wears his heart on his sleeve, actually has a dark side afterall. A dark side I didn't even I know I have, until you.
Normal POV
"Shu? Aren't you coming to bed?" The blond haired novelist looked at his lover sitting silently in front of the TV, and glanced at the clock. "It's midnight, if you don't sleep soon, you won't get enough rest for tomorrow's practice."
"Coming Yuki!" The singer replied cheerfully and trounced to the bedroom. His smile faded once the writer was out of sight. With a soft, barely audile sigh, he changed into his pajamas quickly and prepared to sleep. As he climbed beneath the sheets, Yuki followed and snuggled to him. He whispered softly into Shuichi's ears, "Goodnight, my love", and kissed the vocalist tenderly. An automated chirp "Night night Yuki!" caused the blonde to smile sweetly, who soon feel asleep into peaceful dreams filled love and dreams of tomorrow.
Unknown to him, Shuichi was not falling asleep. He was getting tired of this façade he has to put up for his lover. Sure, the sex is still great, even if Yuki doesn't demand that as frequently as before, preferring to just cuddle together like this night sometimes. But sex is not enough, and it was never a priority to Shuichi to begin with. He stayed with Yuki because he loved him, and wanted to help him heal. Somewhere along the relationship, the love faded and it just became a goal to heal Yuki's emotional scars. Without this goal, the singer would have been lost, and have nothing to justify the years of abuse he took, the time he wasted on this relationship. At long last, Yuki is completely cured, a whole, happy person, while Shuichi is broken, and bitter. Since the goal has been achieved, what other reason does he have to remain with Yuki? With these thoughts in his head, Shuichi succumbed to his sleep.
Shuichi's POV
Yuki is acting weird these two days, I wonder what's wrong? He seems nervous for some reason. Oh well, he will probably tell me soon, if not, I don't care anyway. Got to think of the lyrics for Bad Luck's new album. Touma sure is one demanding arsehole. And K-san is an aggressive, pain in the arse who thinks his guns really scare me. Most of the time, Suguru acts like he's got a stick up his arse too. God, even Hiro is one damn moody guy nowadays after his breakup with Ayako. Shit, I'm surrounded by such idiots, it's really trying my patience. Oh well, I'll just get my job done and continue to act like an idiot around them. But I really don't know how long I can go on keeping my mask up. I think Hiro suspects sometimes, but he's so down with Ayako's break-up he doesn't have time to press me for answers. Would Hiro still be my friend when he knows the real me now? I wonder, but to my surprise, I am not too overly concern if he doesn't. Life still goes on. The world sure doesn't evolve around me.
Whew, practice sure was tough today, but it went all right. Touma was giving me weird smiles all day, it gives me the creeps. What is there to be happy about? Probably got laid last night or something.
"Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, I'm home!" I slide my mask back up and yelled out happily. To my surprise, nobody answered. I remembered Yuki telling me this morning to be home earlier tonight, as he will be having dinner with me. Hmm…maybe he forgot? Oh well, I'll just order take-out then. Anyway, I'm getting sick of his cooking nowadays, since he cooks everyday, breakfast and dinner. God, sometimes he even makes lunch for me to take to work so there's no escape for me! Not that his food tastes horrible, quite the contrary, but eating food cooked by the same person gets boring after a while.
I walked towards the phone, and was going to make a call to my favorite Chinese restaurant when I noticed a voice calling out to me from the bedroom. "Shu…" Curious, I got to the bedroom and pushed the door opened. The floor was littered with red and pink rose petals and candles were burning warmly all around. A whiff of vanilla came from somewhere in the room. And in the middle of it all, was Yuki, wearing a tuxedo and kneeling with a small black box in his hands.
"Shu, I love you, will you marry me?" His eyes shone expectedly. Probably expecting me to say yes. Shit, I can't do this anymore. It's time for the mask to come off. Perhaps a year ago, I would have said yes right away and jumped into his arms, sobbing with happiness. But it was too late now. I don't feel anything but tiredness, and perhaps a sense of relief, that four long years have finally come to an end.
"Shu?" He is now getting up slowly and looking at me with unease. With a deep breath and all seriousness, I uttered, "No."
Continue? Stop with the stupid and unoriginal fic? Review please!