A/N: So my apologies to anyone waiting for an update on my other story. As you'll see from this one, I do angst much better than I do happy times. So now that the story is in a "happy" place I'm having a bit of trouble finishing it but I will!

So this story took on a life of its own. My original idea was actually the one shot in chapter 2 but as I was writing it this came to be and I really liked it. So the beginnings of both stories/chapters are the same but the endings are drastically different.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

She walks through the door of their house sloppily shrugging her bag off her shoulder and onto the floor of the foyer. Flipping on the hallway light she aimlessly walks towards the kitchen, throwing her keys on the counter before turning to grab a cup from the dishrack. She pours herself a cup of water and slides onto the counter to drink it.

The street light shines through the blinds in the kitchen making a pattern of lines and dots on the wall. She doesn't mind the dark. It's comforting. And it means she doesn't have to look around the house, his house, and see everything that reminds her of him. But then again what doesn't remind her of him? Isn't that why she darted out of The Penny and headed home to be alone, unable to spend another moment drinking with her friends without looking over at the door wishing and praying he would walk through them.

She sets her cup down besides her and reaches under her shirt to grab at the chain around her neck. Dangling at the end of it is the diamond he gave her. The diamond he gave her the night before he left. The diamond he gave her as a symbol of his love. The diamond he gave her as a promise he would be back. The diamond he gave her as a promise he would stand in front of their friends and family one day and he would marry her.

That was fourteen months ago. Fourteen months without his smile. Without his arms around her. Without his smell intoxicating her. Fourteen months of lonely nights spent with just his memory. Memories, some days they are the only thing that kept her sane. But they could only help so much. After all, memories don't live like people do.

She wasn't sure if she should blame him or herself. She could have begged him not to go, could have made him choose either his job or her. But that's not the kind of girl she was nor was it the relationship they had. Instead she stood by and supported him. It wasn't what he wanted after all. It was out of his hands. The orders came from up above. But that didn't change the fact that a little part of her was angry with him for not fighting to get out of it.

A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. Her eyebrows furrowed as she wondered who could be at the door at this hour. She quickly slid down off the counter and wiped the tears that had betrayed her and rolled down her cheeks. Looked through the peep-hole she saw the outline of a tall man with dark hair. Her heart sank. There is only one reason he would be knocking at her door at this time of the night, and it wasn't to deliver good news.

She tried to steady her breathing as she unlocked the door. "Maybe he's coming for a different reason?" she tried to convince herself.

"Sgt. Best" She acknowledged after opening the door.

"McNally, can I come in?"

She simply nodded in response and moved away from the door into the living room. She knew what he was going to say and she felt like running through the open door. Running as far as she could till her legs gave in. But that wouldn't do any good. That wouldn't bring him back.

Following him into the living room she turned on one of the lights and sat down on the couch palming her face into her hands.

"McNally" Sgt. Best tried to get her attention

She looked up at him and pleaded at him with her eyes not to crush her world.

Best took a moment to compose himself. He knew what he was about to do to her. It was the last thing he ever wanted to do but what choice did he have.

"McNally", he began once again. "Sam wa-"

"No! Please just go!" She shook her head as she tried to control the emotions welling up inside of her.

"McNally...Andy, please"

She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want it to be real. All she wanted was to climb into their bed, put on his t-shirt that was now void of his smell, and try to hold onto what little hope she had of him coming home to her.

"Sam was shot by rival gang. They got him to the hospital but it was too late. I'm sorry Andy..." his voice trailed off. It's not how he would have liked to tell her but he was afraid if he didn't get the words out now he wouldn't be able to.

Sam. Shot. Too late. That's all she heard. She sunk deeper into the couch. The room went black as tears flooded her eyes. So much for hopes and dreams. So much for a future. All she could hope for now was that his memories wouldn't fade. And that he'd be with her in her dream every night.

A/N: So if you feel like murdering me for this reading the next chapter and hopefully you'll like it more!