Author's note: This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction and I have loved the experience so far. Since english is not my first language there is probably some grammatical and/or spelling mistakes in this story. My hope is that it won't take away too much from the reading experience. I have also published this at WITS.
Enjoy the reading!
All I want, all I need (AU)
Chapter 1- Crash and burn
Lulu Spencer gazed at the stars wishing that the pain she felt inside would vanish. She knew that the bruises and scrapes someday would leave her body, but the pain she felt within her heart would most likely never go away. She would never be able to forget what she had seen in Argentina or how it had felt when the life of someone she loved slipped through her fingers.
A cold chill ran down her body and a single tear fell from her hazel eyes. All she wanted was to go back in time. To have the chance to change everything that had gone wrong.
"Lulu?"
She turned her head when she heard the familiar voice. Lulu then took a deep breath to calm her racing pulse and smiled tentatively towards Elizabeth.
The blond woman then went back to staring at the sky. It was the only connection she still had to him and she wasn't willing to let go of that just yet, Lulu realized.
Elizabeth sat down on the bench next to Lulu. In the far distance she could see the lights from Wyndemere and she pushed back the tears in her eyes. Her best friend had died there and memories of Emily's death always made her cry. She had asked Lucky's brother many times how he managed to still live at the place where Emily's life had been claimed and every time Nicolas had answered that he had to be where he felt the most connected to her. Knowing his reason she stopped asking the question after a while. But it had been Nicolas words that echoed in her mind when she'd seen Lulu rush out of the house that once had been her home. Those words were the ones that led her to the docks in hope of finding her sister-in-law.
Still wearing the black dress that clung to her eight months pregnant body, she wondered if Cameron and Jake were giving Nicolas a hard time. He had offered to take the boys with him after the funeral so that they could spend some time with Spencer and away from a distraught Lucky.
Elizabeth wished she knew how to comfort her husband in his sorrow. Her work as a nurse at General Hospital had taught her that you couldn't rush something like this and when people were ready they would start open up to the people around them. She just hoped that Lucky would do it sooner rather than later. Elizabeth still had a month left of her pregnancy and what should've have been a joyous time for her and her husband had been replaced by a time of sorrow.
"I thought I might find you're here, are you alright? You left the memorial service so quickly that I thought it best to try and find you."
Even though Lulu was thankful that Elizabeth had come for her, she knew that she couldn't possibly give the pregnant woman the answers she was looking for. Lulu was tired of keeping up the appearance that everything would be okay when she knew that it never could be again.
All the regrets and all the memories clouded Lulu's thoughts. If she only had acted in a different way or asked the correct questions then maybe this could have been avoided, she thought as her eyes continued to be focused on the sky above.
Lulu hated wearing black, yet it felt like she had worn it for the most part of her life. The sadness that filled her hazel eyes had been there long before this day, maybe it had always been there without her knowing it.
"Am I alright? Do you want an honest answer or the one I've given everyone else today?"
Elizabeth noted the pain in Lulu's eyes and wished that the young woman wouldn't have to go through the hurt of losing someone close to her again. She had already lost so much in her life and the pregnant woman wished that Laura had been there with Lulu instead of being locked up at Shadybrooke's mental institution. Elizabeth knew that Lulu had never gotten the opportunity to know her mother, if she had then maybe she wouldn't have been so lost in this moment.
They all had regrets in their lives, moments they wished they could change or words they could take back. It was what you did with this knowledge that mattered, Elizabeth thought. Somehow she had to get Lulu to understand this and let her know that moving on with her life did not necessarily mean that she let the memory of the people she'd lost down.
"How about the truth? Lulu, you know you can tell me anything that's on your mind, right? Your brothers, Tracy and I love you so much that it scares us to death seeing you like this. No one blames you for what happened, it was all just a matter of time. Even your father knew that."
"Don't you see, that's the problem! It was my fault and that's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life."
It had never been her intention to yell at Elizabeth and the surprised look in her sister-in- law's face told her that she too was stunned by the outburst.
"You're right nobody blames me for what happened, but maybe they should…"
Lulu stared towards the stars remembering how her father had taught her to navigate with the help of their position. Back then she'd believed it to be some useless knowledge she never would get the opportunity to use. That had been long before Argentina, now she wished that she never would have been forced to use the skills her father had taught her.
She had always felt the closest to him when they were on some sort of an adventure together and Lulu remembered his words of how much a like they had been. However there had always been a big difference between herself and Luke Spencer, Lulu had never felt the constant urge to go on adventures as he had. He never settled down for more than a couple of months in Port Charles before the adventure gene within him started twitching.
In some ways she was more like her mother, she realized. Although Lulu had been too young to remember when her mother went into a catatonic state she had heard all the stories of how Luke and Laura Spencer had been on the run from the mob. Her mother had ultimately wanted to settle down in Port Charles so that her children could have a somewhat normal childhood. Meanwhile her father had always wanted to see the world and it had been what slowly killed their marriage.
"Stop it, Lulu! You know better than to do this to yourself."
Dante Falconeri looked out through the window of his apartment in Brooklyn and wished he could see the stars. Sometimes he hated living in the city where the lights from the building complexes dominated the night. Every time the thought of leaving New York crept into his mind he refused to give it an extra thought. He was a city boy through and through who loved the pulse of a city that constantly moved forward in a fast pace.
His only regret was that living in the city meant being away from his mother. They tried to keep in touch via skype or the phone on a daily basis, but some days it was impossible due to his demanding work schedule at the NYPD and her work at some local hotel.
Olivia Falconeri had been the one constant in his life, the one that always had been on his side and the one he depended on the most. Now she had relocated to a city named Port Charles for reasons unknown to him and Dante wasn't sure he even wanted to know. She seemed happy and the last time they'd spoken she even told him she'd started seeing a doctor in town. As long as she was pleased with her life he was too, even if meant he had to miss out on his mom's special Gnocchi made with sweet potato.
A knock on the door made him realize he had completely forgotten about the time and as he moved towards the door he knew that he would never hear the end of this. Dante wasn't even wearing his Yankees shirt yet.
"Hey, man!"
A confused look spread across Ronnie Dimestico's face as he noticed the casual clothes his childhood friend was wearing. It was their weekly baseball night where they in unison cheered the Yankees on to another victory in the World Series. Together they usually went to at least four games a year and the matches they weren't able to see live at Yankee Stadium they watched over at Dante's. Something the owner of the apartment apparently had forgotten, Ronnie thought.
"Why aren't you in your uniform? It's game night!"
"Sorry, I just got home from work so I lost track of time."
Dante wasn't surprised when he saw the horror displayed in Ronnie's face. He was wearing a pair of well worn jeans and a navy blue t-shirt where the emblem of the NYPD was etched on the chest. Nothing like the jersey he usually had on when they had their game night.
He had told Ronnie the truth about not having time to change since he had been neck deep in paper work at the station after the double homicide earlier in the day. The culprit had been caught on the scene and couldn't have been more than twenty years old, just a few years younger than himself. A whole life ruined as the result of jealousy, Dante thought.
"How could you forget? It's the Yankees!"
Ronnie looked like he was about to pass out of the sheer shock of his friend not embracing his fascination with all that concerned their favorite team.
"This is embarrassing! I'm not stepping my foot within these walls until you take on your jersey and get ready to slay the Orioles."
"So you basically want to stay out there while I change? Fine, that's on you man."
Dante left the door open as he moved away from Ronnie and towards his bedroom. A small smile spread across his face as he heard his friend sigh loudly. He returned a couple minutes later in the required Yankee uniform and his friend nodded pleased.
"Better?"
"Much, now I feel like I'm home."
Dante Falconeri was unsure if that statement should be considered good or bad as Ronnie walked into the apartment and sat down on the couch picking up the remote.
"Cupcake?"
"Yes, dad? Do you need something?"
Lulu was surprised over how calm her voice sounded when all she wanted to do was to scream . They both knew that if her father didn't get help within the next couple of hours he wouldn't make it. But to get him the medical help he needed Lulu would have to leave him alone and she knew about the dangers that lurked around them. It was still possible that the men that had shot him were hunting them down.
But if she didn't leave he would die, she thought as she suppressed the tears in her eyes.
It had been her suggestion that they would set up camp outside of a small village thirty miles outside of Buenos Aires. Her father had initially demanded that they move forward towards the border of Chile where his friends were living. However they both had been well aware that Luke Spencer was in no condition to move as blood from the gunshot wound in his thigh continued to flow.
His heavy body rested its weight on her as they slowly made their way to the outskirts of the little village. At the moment neither of them knew who could be trusted or not so they had decided that they wouldn't seek shelter in the village and sleep under the stars instead.
She helped her father sit down on the ground. Lulu removed the backpack from her back and searched for something for him to eat. All she could find was an energy bar which she guessed had to do until she found something else to give her father. He smiled thankfully at her as she gave him the food and she then placed one of his shirts on the ground underneath his wounded leg to decrease the risk of contamination.
As Luke Spencer ate he thought of how lucky he was to have such an amazing daughter. He never knew what he had done to earn her love considering he felt like he constantly failed her and her brothers. If it hadn't been for her determination they never would have gotten this far and he saw how tired she looked. Luke hoped Lulu knew just how special she was.
A last look on the map made Lulu nervous, they still had a long trek before they got to their destination and time was running out. Maybe they would get lucky tomorrow again and a cattle truck would pick them up to transport them a bit closer to the border.
This was as far as she could ever get from her desk at Crimson where calls to Paris, Milan or Tokyo would occupy her day. She had never been happy there, but had come to terms with the fact that it was a good way to pay rent. If she was lucky then Kate might even send her to some of the places she frequently made calls to someday. Perhaps that was part of the reason why she had been so eager to accompany her father on this trip. It wasn't just the fact that she got the opportunity to spend time with him, but also that this was something different than her boring desk job in Port Charles.
"Who were those men, dad? What the hell is going on? I thought you told me that this mission would be without risks. Now you're shot and I… "
"They…they didn't hurt you, did they?"
She noticed the strength it took him just to say those few concerned words and silently made her decision. How would she be able to live with herself if she did nothing to try to save his life? Maybe there was a doctor in the village ahead and everything would be all right. Her father's wound could be taken care of and they could perhaps even stay in the village a couple of days before continuing their journey towards the border.
Lulu felt how his hand trembled against the cut on her forehead and suddenly she felt a sting of pain. The adrenalin pumping through her body must have blocked the pain out during the day making her feel nothing until they had slowed down. A couple of ribs were probably damaged and she had scrapes all over her body. But in the end it would all heal. She pushed away the pain to the back of her head, it was the last thing she needed at the moment. Too much depended on her.
She realized she had never seen Luke Spencer cry before this moment as her father pulled his caressing hand from her forehead. He rested his back against the giant tree that gave them shelter from the sun.
"I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about. Dad, you're losing a lot of blood and the pressure I placed above your wound in order to slow down the blood flow doesn't seem to work."
"I never wanted you to get hurt, Lulu."
"I know that, dad. But you shouldn't have tried to protect me and get shot in the process. I could have taken care of myself."
It was in that moment it hit her just how much it would have hurt her father if something worse had happened to her when those men grabbed her.
"I'm a Spencer, remember…"
Panic started to overcome her as she noted how he slowly closed his eyes. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to open them again she sank down on her knees next to her father's body on the ground. It was all too late.
It had been stupid of her to insist they move at such a high speed when she knew just how hurt he had been. But the thought of the men with the guns catching up to them had made her move even faster. This was all her fault, she thought as a tear slipped down on his shirt.
"Dad? You have to stay awake!"
Luke slowly opened his eyes, but the spark that usually occupied them was gone and so was all the color on his cheeks. The man on the ground was only a faint shadow of the man that was her father.
"Princess, I'm so sorry I dragged you into this… I love you more… than you'll ever know. Your mother… would kill me if she knew about this…"
A faint smile spread across his lips as he mentioned Laura and he then closed his eyes for the last time. Lulu held his hand tightly as she wondered where it all had gone wrong. Was there a specific moment that had decided both of their fates?
"Dad?"
The echo of her own scream silenced her and she began sobbing.
Dante Falconeri stepped out of the car as the rain stared pouring down on him and Ronnie. They made their way through the crowd that had gathered outside of the perimeter.
"Detectives."
A young police officer that Dante didn't recognize greeted them on the scene. He seemed way to cheery to be out in this weather, Dante thought as he stared at the man.
"So, what have we got?"
All the way from the apartment to the crime scene Ronnie had muttered under his breath that it should be illegal to commit crimes on game night. The match had barely even begun when both their phones had gone off simultaneously and they were forced to leave.
"We got a call a couple of hours ago from a woman who saw some strange activity in this abandoned house and the Chief wanted us to call you two. "
"Why?"
"At first we thought it was a typical case of squatting, but then we got inside and saw the stash of illegal weapons. Then there was something else that the Chief only wanted you two to see."
Both detectives looked puzzled at each other as they said thank you to the young man that had given them the information. Neither of them knew what they were to expect when the met the Chief inside the foreclosed building.
"This is freakin' amazing, this night just gets better and better!"
Dante didn't even try to hide the sarcasm in his voice as he and Ronnie walked towards the house that seemed to be the home of some sort of an organized crime unit. They both knew that they could say goodbye to the Yankees and sleep for the coming hours. It probably would be passed midnight before they could even leave this place, Dante thought.
Inside the two-floor building police officers ran around with plastic bags in their hands.
"Falconeri, Domestico! Come here…"
Both of the men recognized the voice of their Captain and walked towards the man who was in his fifties. It looked like they weren't the only ones upset about missing the game.
"Sir…"
Dante's voice trailed off as he looked around the room in shock, of all the things he could have encountered he never would have pictured this in his mind. What probably used to be a living room was filled with pictures of a city he did not recognize. He was sure that it wasn't New York since it seemed too small to fit the description of his hometown. There were people in some of them that weren't familiar to him.
"Holy shit!" Ronnie exclaimed and Dante moved towards him only to stop again. Confused he turned towards the Chief that looked grief-stricken back at him. This was the reason why they had been requested at the scene.
"Is that who I think it is? What is a picture of Sonny Corinthos doing in a place like this?"
Dante felt the anger pulsating in his veins, there wasn't a man he hated more than the figure staring back at him from the picture on the wall. This was the man who had murdered the second most important person in Dante's life, Vince Poletti.
"There is something more you should see…"
The older man led them to the center of the room where large pieces of paper were placed on a table. It didn't take long before Dante realized the situation had gone from bad to worse. No one knew how much time they had before innocent lives could be lost.
"Are those schematics? Do we know what the target is?"
Lulu Spencer was sitting under the stars next to her sister-in-law wishing that the man she had hated during her teenage years would somehow magically appear again. Memories of all the hateful things she had once said to him haunted her.
For so long she had felt unwanted and as a mistake. When she had grown older she had come to realize that her parents had done the best they could with the situation that was given to them. Luke Spencer had never intended on having to raise his teenage daughter on his own, but her mother had gotten sick and he had married Tracy Quartermaine in order to scam her out of her millions. Lulu now knew that her father always had loved her even if he sometimes had a weird way of showing it.
Tears started streaming down her face at the thought of her dad and she felt as if she had crashed into a wall. Not knowing if she could ever get back the piece of her heart that had gone missing as her father had drawn his last breath on the ground in Argentina.