Drabbles

- Fate has a strange sense of humor; it takes humor to humor it. (In crude meaning, it means that's fate's a bitch and loves to screw with your life.)

1. AIR

- You stared at your mobile screen, felt air rushed out of your lungs, you are not breathing. Simple words informed you that your best friend is in critical condition. You ran out of your workplace, briefly explaining to your supervisor that you need to go, and felt the stares from your co-workers. You did not cry, you feel detached and you hated yourself for it. Starting to call to his number, you were greeted by a person who claimed to be his cousin. You asked about his condition. That person confirmed that your best friend is in the verge of death. Then, you felt something burst in your heart and the tears started to flow, refusing to stop. Later, when you learned that this is a joke to make you keep in contact with him, you blow up and for the first time in your life, you called your secret love a bastard. Tears keep flowing though, not in pain or sadness but in relief. Then and there, you know that no matter how you try to flee from him, forget about him or hate him, you will always be there for him. Life is not fair.

2. BREAKS

- While most people will say immediately that they love school breaks, you are feeling unsure whether to love or hate it. School breaks means you will not see him. He from out of town and live in the dorm. School breaks means he will go home and that is very far from the school, this town and your house. On the other hand, school breaks also means that he will call you (he is stingy and only messages you most of the time), showing that he remembered you no matter where he is on the surface of the earth. This few times is the one that you treasured most. Both of you had an unspoken, mutual understanding, you call this week and he'll call next week. Both of you just talked, even as there is absolutely nothing to talk about which cause that one time both of you talked about your cat behaviors (both of you owns a cat)(you felt guilty to your parents later when you saw the telephone bill for that month). When you first realized this, you are ready to bang your head to the wall… repeatedly (you are known for being dense as a rock and oblivious).

3. CRUSH

- You fell in lust and in crush too many times to count its number and all of them are HOT X3. You are comfortable with guys and most of them are comfortable with you. You had absolutely no problem in approaching a guy. You are not a model but you know how to manipulate the words like no other and act like a professional if needed be. You rarely used this ability and most believe you are innocent and naïve. You put your lust under control and get yourself in check because you are just not bothered to approach them. You let people see what want to see and think what they want as you watched them. You cover the amusement that you felt, and display ignorance to absurd topics. This plan got a flaw; people might want to teach you about it. So you listened and pay attention to the 'teaching' while inside, you are cackling like mad when they give the wrong information. When they finished, you put up a grateful face and thanked them.

Then, you wondered, why your love is still unspoken as if you don't have that ability when the fact is you did. You came across the fact that while crush and lust make you pretend and able to control yourself, love make you lower your shield, open up yourself and for once, there is a longing to lose control and an urge not to give a damn about what is the effects of your actions. It take a lot before you arrive there and it take a long time after that to realize that you still haven't confess to him because for once, you did care. You care about his feelings, care about how is your confession will effect him, and care about your friendship with him (you are still in denial that you care how it will effect your heart). Subconsciously, he had taught you many things and you had learned a lot. You learned to value every moment you spend together, to value every details you had about him, to value him and ultimately, learned to value your love for him. Yes, you are still quiet because you love and care about him and that is your downfall.

4. DORM

- He lives in the dorm near the school. Since your father always drop you near the main road to school and you walk there, sometimes both of you got the chance to walk together to school. You spent that the time listening to whatever he was talking about while trying to catch up with him (he got long legs and not considerate enough to walk in your pace). Since you always walked back to your home, both of you will walked back together even as both of you have different schedule. You make a point of waiting him as he will for you. He always talks and you always listen (you get all the info on the mischief that he is up to) but sometimes, you talked while he listened (you lectured him on being good or he will lose his position as the head of his dorm). This happened until he arrived at his dorm, after that, you waved him goodbye and continued your journey. There were few times where his dorm mates walked with you two and at that time you wondered why they were all so quiet and walk kind of far from you two. Then, there was the day where his dorm mates suddenly gang up on you and started to ask questions that make you started to open your eyes a little bit. No wonder they acted like that…

5. EMBARRESED

- There is one time where you got to go to a function but he can't as he needed to settle few things back home. Both of you usually participate in this kind of function together and he usually accompanied you at a function so it is only normal for you to call his name to bring his attention to things that you found interesting. That day, you called his name while excitedly pointing to the thing that caught your attention at that time. The lack of usual response confused you and only after that your brain decided to break down and remind you that he is not going to the function. When this happened you were with your school group. The silence after that make you dreaded the outcome of this event. When you turned to face them, (you were in the front line) all of them were looking at you. Then, all of them burst out laughing and you heard a few catcalls. You blushed beet red and prayed that a hole opened up so that you can jump in and let it closed on you. They teased you mercilessly after that, even in the journey back to your school. You can only pray that they have short memory and come Monday, all would be forgotten, because how are you supposed to explained to him this thing? Later, you were confused why you blushed and were so embarrassed at that time. It is only normal that you make mistake like that since you were always with him (see what you meant when you said you are dense?)