Keep Holding On
Characters: Mattie and Ric, Ric and Steph
Setting: After Ric kills Rocco – the aftermath
Lyrics: Avril Lavigne "Keep Holding On"
Disclaimer: I own nothing except Steph and the plot. FLAMES WILL BE EXTINGUISHED!
Chapter 1.
Mattie sat in her room, silently thinking about Ric and what he had done. She knew she should stand by him, but to be in love with a murderer? That didn't feel right. She felt as though she should run away, change her name, identity and forget Summer Bay. On the other hand, Sally, Brad, Alf, and the others would need support. She stared out the window at the grey sky, wondering how Ric was, if he really did kill Rocco. "He must be feeling so terrible right now" Mattie mused to herself. Suddenly she had the urge to turn her radio on. The song that was just starting was Avril Lavigne's new song "Keep Holding On". As she listened to the words, she realised just how much they applied to the situation at hand between her and Ric.
You're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know i'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
theres no place to go you know I wont give in
no I wont give in.
She knew that every word had a meaning for her, her emotions and feelings at that point and she knew Ric should listen to this song as well. She picked up her mobile, then put it down again. She had promised herself that she would not have any more contact with Ric after he was found to be the murderer. She despised murder and death, even though her boyfriend had committed murder, she knew she should, realistically stand by him, but she didn't want to. She wanted to be with Ric, to feel, touch and smell him, to feel his comforting embrace and to hear him say he loved her. Her mind screamed 'go to him' whereas her heart screamed 'stay away from him'.
She had to know.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Mattie walked out of the house and headed to the beach, her long blonde hair whipping behind her in the wind that had suddenly sprung up, a cold, harsh wind, almost mirroring her feelings towards Ric, cold and harsh. She did love him, but knew she could never be with him after this.
So far away I wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disapear
before the doors close, and it comes to an end
but with you by my side I will fight and defend, i'll fight and defend yeah yeah.
Mattie sat on the beach, just thinking. She didn't even see the familiar figure walking slowly towards her until he put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and turned around quickly.
It was Ric. The one person who she had hoped desperately to avoid until the last minute. She knew that her inner fear, of him attacking and murdering her, was showing plainly across her face, but she didn't try to hide it.
Ric spoke first. "Mattie, what's going on with you? Why are you avoiding me? You know I wont ever hurt you." He said, with a break in his voice.
Mattie bowed her head so he couldn't see the tears beginning to form. She loved him so much, but the whole murder incident made her look twice at him.
"Ric, I cant be with you anymore. Its not that I know you wont hurt me, but I despise murder and the shock of finding out that my boyfriend, the one person I love the most, is a murderer, well, theres only one option for us. It's over." Mattie said bluntly, keeping her head bowed.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through just stay strong.
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Ric let go of her suddenly and turned away to stare out over the sea, shocked and upset by Mattie and her sudden statement. He realised that he had hurt her the most out of everyone. He knew that he had a volatile nature, but he thought he could keep it under control. Apparently not. He knew what the consequences were and even if he had to wait 100 years before he went to jail, it would never prepare him.
He also knew that Mattie was the only link he still had with his sanity. No-one wanted to know or even associate with him any more, not even his own grandfather or Sally! He wanted Mattie to be there for him, but even she was slipping away from him, disgusted, like all the others, about his heinous crime.
Hear me when I say, when I say
I believe nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny
what ever is ment to be
will work out perfectly yeah yeah yeah yeah
lalalalalalala...
Mattie raised her head a tiny bit, just enough to see Ric's face without alerting him to the fact that she was staring at him. She could read all his emotions and she knew he had realised that there was no-one left for him to turn to.
"Ric, look. I love you so much, but my head's screaming at me to run away and hide and forget everything between us, whereas my heart is screaming at me to hold onto you, stay with you until the end and never let you go. Im sorry, I just have to do what feels right. Its over." she sobbed, and ran off down the beach, crying hard, crying for her love for Ric, her disgust at his horrible act, her despair of leaving him alone with no-one to support him and her own foolishness.
Ric stood there stunned. He genuinely thought that Mattie didn't love him anymore, but in fact, it was the opposite! He felt overjoyed, but at the same time deeply disappointed, in himself, not to be able to reassure her enough to make her see, see that he was a good person and the whole thing had been an accident and was not his fault.
He turned and started jogging to see the one person, the only one who wouldn't judge him, would support him even though what he had done was indescribable, and be able to put his mind at ease.