Chapter 1

I found a thing

Commander Jane Shepard, Hero of the citadel, saviour of the Rachni, killer of Geth and all around badass dragged herself back onto the Normandy after a long day of being shot at by mechs. This in itself wasn't all that unusual, she'd killed lots of mechs in her time- or at least things that were almost mechs- but she rarely had to kill said mechs only hours after being brought back from the dead by a xenophobic organisation that she trusted less than Jokers homemade tacos (how those things managed to give a KROGAN food poisoning bad enough to kept him in the infirmary for two weeks she would never understand). Then of course there was Miss Miranda Lawson…

"… and if you'd just let Cerberus take the Quarian we'd have been able to get so much more information about the Collectors from questioning him." Continued said woman who didn't seem to realise that Shepard had tuned out her incessant complaining after the first five minutes. Noting the surprising lack of sound after the Cerberus operatives' declaration Shepard turned to her and asked with forced pleasantness "You done complaining Lawson?" Miranda opened her mouth paused and then slowly closed it again. "Thank god for that." Muttered Shepard, turning away from her "I'm going to go to bed so no one-""Actually Commander" Miranda began "The Illusive man wanted to speak to you and get your report on the mission." "Fine then" Shepard sighed "I'll go see your boss, but this better not lead to me having to stay up any longer than that." Of course Shepard should've known this was a bad thing to say. It was just provoking murphy's law.

And so it was that after a brief meeting with Cerberus's shadowy leader "The Illusive Man" (or TIM for short) she had to read over FOUR whole dossiers, decide who they would recruit first and finally give her decision to joker before going to bed. This may have not taken very long, but to Shepard every minute extra she had to work felt like an hour. So when she told Joker they were going to head to Omega to pick up the first two teammates she also told him that she was going to sleep until they arrived at the real life version of mos eisley and if anyone woke her up they would and I quote "have their genitalia fed to a rabid cocker spaniel". Joker took this threat seriously because- despite Shepard having no access to dogs of any kind, let alone a cocker spaniel- he had no doubt she would find a way to make good her threat. So, with a head filled with Black adder references, Shepard wandered to her nice warm bed, collapsed into it and was asleep before she hit the pillow. She had been hoping for a dreamless peaceful nights rest. She should have realised that, this too was tempting murphy's law.

To the casual observer the vast expanse of blackness seems empty, devoid of life, light or debris, but the casual observer would be wrong. Deep in the inky void a single light flickers again and again, moving swiftly onwards. Zoom in and you find an immense ship, its body coated in statues some of humans others of horrific abominations that belong in the realm of nightmares. The eye travels across its immense form spotting dents, scratches and scars across its surface. With this the observer realises the function of the vessel. It is a warship, for few ships acquire this many scars in a lifetime of hauling cargo or surveying new worlds. The multitude of cannons placed across the hull is also a clue. As the eye observes the ship it sees the vessel rock, as shots impact its back. The eyes scans back seeing 3 other ships- not as large as this one but still quite large- following close behind various weapons lighting up across them sending shots streaming across the dark of space. Not particularly friendly. The eye is then pulled into the workings of the ship itself. Through hallways and corridors it fly's passing towering warriors battling twisted, inhuman abominations before, finally it reaches the ships bridge. The eye is greeted with the sight of a man standing taller than any other the observer has seen, covered in black plates of metal and a horned helm which makes him look like a stereotypical evil knight. He glances round the bridge as voices come from every inch of the room, half formed sentences being cut off one after another as more bad news filters in via readouts and reports. Through the near constant cacophony a handful of words can be easily identified. Words like "depleted", "severe" and "extreme" filter through, said in worried voices but all said with the underlying calm only found in veterans of war in bad situations. Suddenly the black armoured man stands and speaks calmly. "One at a time please. Super human hearing I may have but that doesn't make easier to pick out individual voices." For a few seconds there is silence, and then one by one the warriors tell him their news. The general consensus is that things are bad. Real bad. The tall warrior sighs deeply and stands. He turns to another figure standing behind him. This man is shorter but still imposing. His armour is blue with gold trim and the helmet has an Egyptian style head dress attached to it. The dark armoured man speaks quietly to his blue armoured comrade. "Gandling, I want you to go down to the engine room and get Isaac. Then I want you to take him to the gate." The figure named Gandling took a startled step backwards before leaning forward "You're not intending to use it are you? We have no idea of the effect it could have. We don't even know if it works yet!" Gandling whispered in an incredulous voice. The dark armoured figure sighed "I'm not going to let this ship and its crew die so easily Gandling. Better an uncertain fate than a certain death." Gandling still seemed uncertain. The armoured figure placed a hand on Gandlings' shoulder. "Just trust me old friend. I will get us out of this. I have gotten us out of worse situations haven't I?" Gandling sighed." Alright, I'll get Isaac and take him to that… contraption. But if this ends up killing us, don't say I didn't express concern." The armoured figure nodded and turned back to the bridge before bellowing a few orders. But already the eye was moving.

It descended through floor after floor at breakneck speed passing countless floors of armoured warriors until it eventually reached a massive room filled with odd looking fighters all attached to gangways and fuel pipes. But there was an area in the rooms' centre which contained no fighters or anything else. All that sat in this small clear circle was an oval of metal about 10 feet high and half as wide covered in wires attached to small boxes at either side of the base which had larger wires protruding from them that lead to a large control panel. Standing before it were the man from the bridge -"Gandling" -and a man covered in steely grey armour with long metal pipes protruding from his back. The grey armoured man was speaking in a slow monotone voice to Gandling. "I can't be sure of its effects in its damaged state, sorcerer, nor where we will arrive if we do activate it. For all I know it could blast us all the way to Terra. Or drop us into the eye of terror. I need not tell you the end result of both of those eventualities" The man named Gandling shook his head sighing. "I know Isaac, I have my doubts as well, but Ezriael sees no other way out of this situation." The figure named Isaac seemed to consider this for a moment before glancing at the control panel before him. He turned back to Gandling." I shall do as lord Ezriael commands. But I wish it to be on record that I have a terrible feeling about this." As Isaac turned back to the panel Gandling nodded." So do I Isaac. So do I."

Suddenly the observer was jerked away pulled away from the hangar to see the mighty vessel in its full glory. It was shaking violently as shots impacted on its engines and side but still it ploughed on. Suddenly one of the tailing vessels began to shake uncontrollably, an orb of bluish purple light forming in front of it. Then suddenly it was speeding towards the ship at a fantastic rate, followed by smaller orbs from the other vessels. The largest orb collided with the fleeing vessels engines sending fragments of metal everywhere as some of them went up in flames. The smaller orbs followed smashing into the ships side as it slowly turned, its remaining engines causing it to rotate to port .It shimmered and crackled, sparks racing along the battered hull. As the sparking started the front pursuer sped up, heading on a direct collision course for the fleeing vessel. Sparks turned to light and for a brief moment the whole ship seemed to radiate light, brighter than anything any sun could produce. Then the enemy ship collided with it giving off an inhuman screech of tearing metal. After that the only sound to be heard was that of an explosion.

Shepard jerked awake, eyes wide and mouth dry, the after image of the explosion burnt into her retinas. After a few seconds she fell back on to her pillow her mind racing. It hadn't been That dream. Years of sleepless nights and an ocean of cold sweat caused by That dream and for the first time in years she hadn't seen it. She smiled. Maybe this marked a new start for her. Maybe she would never have That dream again. Maybe she-. Her reverie was broken by a ping from her omnitool. She sighed and lifted it to her face. "Yes?" "Commander I really need you to come up to the bridge right now" Jokers voice sounded over the speaker anxious and aced with fear. Shepard sighed. "Joker you know what I said would happen to anyone who disturbed me." "I know commander and you can set as many spaniels on me as you like later but this is bigger than spaniels.". Now that got Shepards attention. Her spaniel torture was faamed throughout the alliance for being the most horrific, the most awful and the most unusual method of interrogation ever conceived. And Joker was saying this was bigger than that. "I'm on my way" Shepard said pulling herself upright and mentally reminding herself to avoid sleeping in her armour again. Useful maybe but damn uncomfortable.

One agonisingly slow elevator trip later (seriously? No expenses spared on the ship save with the elevators?) she was wandering into the bridge and striding towards the cockpit. "Alright" she said as she stepped into Jokers humble abode "Lets see exactly what… is… Well" Shepard stuttered seeing what joker and her two squad members were staring at. In front of the SR2 was the immense tuning fork like shape of the Mass relay. But floating nearby was another massive shape. It was a ship. Well half a ship to be more precise. A half that on its own was nearly a kilometre and a half long. A ship with a sloping curved front separated into sections covered in indentations containg satues Demonic and downright lovecraftian horrors. A half bristling with enough firepower to make a reaper blush. Shepard gulped. "Yeah Joker your right" she said quietly. "That is definitely bigger than a spaniel".