Note: I don't own Harry Potter. A fic like this is really out of character
for me… read my other one, "Harry Potter and the Six Phoenixes", and you'll
see what I mean. For some odd reason though, I felt like posting one of
these since I haven't seen anything like this yet. Hope it's somewhat funny
or entertaining! And flames are welcomed and expected.
Harry was deep in thought as he sat in Dudley's second room. It was the summer after his fourth year… one more month and he'd be a fifth year. His homework was finished and he had nothing to do. This was boredom in its highest form.
In frustration, he kicked the broken piece of junk that was infront of him. It gave a whir and miraculously started working.
:: Hm? That's odd. I didn't know it was plugged in!:: he thought. He had accidently started up Dudley's old computer, that he had assumed was broken. Apparently, it wasn't anymore.
Quickly, Harry signed onto the internet.
:: Let me see, where should I go? I know!:: Nimbly, Harry typed up the Fanfictoin.net site. He clicked on the link for books, then the one labled Harry Potter. He smirked, knowing Dudley would have a fit if he knew Harry had his own books, movies, and fanfiction.
Harry scrolled down the page, but stopped in horror. He saw his name paired with Snape. It was rated NC-17.
:: UG! What the heck goes on in these people's heads! Me and SNAPE?:: feeling sick, Harry continued to look. He felt like he was going to vomit.
:: Draco, Sirius, Snape, Voldemort, Ron, Hermione, Percy, Oliver, Remus, Ginny… people daydream about me doing… well… erm… THAT stuff with THEM? I need to put a stop to this… but how? Hm…::
Voldemort gave an angry growl. Stupid muggle invention. Why had he asked his Death Eaters to get one for him?
These things called computers were quite frustrating indeed. He had finally managed to get onto the thing called 'internet'. It hadn't been easy though. Suddenly, a ringing 'deling' sound came from the screen, and a message said 'You have just received an Instant Message from SnidgetSeeker1. Would you like to accept?' Voldemort stared in confusion, cursing muggle inventions again. Carefully, he clicked the 'accept' button.
SnidgetSeeker1: Voldemort? That you?
You-Know-Who: Yes. And who is this?! I'll Avada Kedavra you!
SnidgetSeeker1: It's Harry Potter here.
You-Know-Who: POTTER?! *evil laugh* I HAVE YOU NOW!
Voldemort pointed his wand at Harry's screen name. "Avada Kedavra!" The light his the comp and bounced away harmlessly.
SnidgetSeeker1: … you do?
You-Know-Who: What?! How can you still be there?!
SnidgetSeeker1: *sighs* Look, normally I wouldn't go to you for this sort of help, but I need someone who's messed up in the head enough to do something really crazy.
You-Know-Who: LMAO! Why would I help YOU?
SnidgetSeeker1: I have a good reason. Look at this, they made us porn stars! Click this link. http://www.fanfiction.net/Books/HarryPotter/Harry+Voldemort/NC_17.pophp
Raising his eyebrows in suspicion, Voldemort clicked the link. Ten minutes later, his fists were shaking in rage.
You-Know-Who: That's utterly disgusting.
SnidgetSeeker1: Agreed. We need to do something about it. That's only one of who knows how many!
You-Know-Who: Don't worry over it. I'll see that it is stopped…
You-Know-Who: has signed off
"Death Eaters! I want to invade the Fanfiction.net HQ! We must have a… erm… heart to heart chat with some of the employees…"
Harry leaned back in his chair and smiled. "One down, lots to go." He quickly scanned the buddy list, looking for Hermione's screen name.
Harry was deep in thought as he sat in Dudley's second room. It was the summer after his fourth year… one more month and he'd be a fifth year. His homework was finished and he had nothing to do. This was boredom in its highest form.
In frustration, he kicked the broken piece of junk that was infront of him. It gave a whir and miraculously started working.
:: Hm? That's odd. I didn't know it was plugged in!:: he thought. He had accidently started up Dudley's old computer, that he had assumed was broken. Apparently, it wasn't anymore.
Quickly, Harry signed onto the internet.
:: Let me see, where should I go? I know!:: Nimbly, Harry typed up the Fanfictoin.net site. He clicked on the link for books, then the one labled Harry Potter. He smirked, knowing Dudley would have a fit if he knew Harry had his own books, movies, and fanfiction.
Harry scrolled down the page, but stopped in horror. He saw his name paired with Snape. It was rated NC-17.
:: UG! What the heck goes on in these people's heads! Me and SNAPE?:: feeling sick, Harry continued to look. He felt like he was going to vomit.
:: Draco, Sirius, Snape, Voldemort, Ron, Hermione, Percy, Oliver, Remus, Ginny… people daydream about me doing… well… erm… THAT stuff with THEM? I need to put a stop to this… but how? Hm…::
Voldemort gave an angry growl. Stupid muggle invention. Why had he asked his Death Eaters to get one for him?
These things called computers were quite frustrating indeed. He had finally managed to get onto the thing called 'internet'. It hadn't been easy though. Suddenly, a ringing 'deling' sound came from the screen, and a message said 'You have just received an Instant Message from SnidgetSeeker1. Would you like to accept?' Voldemort stared in confusion, cursing muggle inventions again. Carefully, he clicked the 'accept' button.
SnidgetSeeker1: Voldemort? That you?
You-Know-Who: Yes. And who is this?! I'll Avada Kedavra you!
SnidgetSeeker1: It's Harry Potter here.
You-Know-Who: POTTER?! *evil laugh* I HAVE YOU NOW!
Voldemort pointed his wand at Harry's screen name. "Avada Kedavra!" The light his the comp and bounced away harmlessly.
SnidgetSeeker1: … you do?
You-Know-Who: What?! How can you still be there?!
SnidgetSeeker1: *sighs* Look, normally I wouldn't go to you for this sort of help, but I need someone who's messed up in the head enough to do something really crazy.
You-Know-Who: LMAO! Why would I help YOU?
SnidgetSeeker1: I have a good reason. Look at this, they made us porn stars! Click this link. http://www.fanfiction.net/Books/HarryPotter/Harry+Voldemort/NC_17.pophp
Raising his eyebrows in suspicion, Voldemort clicked the link. Ten minutes later, his fists were shaking in rage.
You-Know-Who: That's utterly disgusting.
SnidgetSeeker1: Agreed. We need to do something about it. That's only one of who knows how many!
You-Know-Who: Don't worry over it. I'll see that it is stopped…
You-Know-Who: has signed off
"Death Eaters! I want to invade the Fanfiction.net HQ! We must have a… erm… heart to heart chat with some of the employees…"
Harry leaned back in his chair and smiled. "One down, lots to go." He quickly scanned the buddy list, looking for Hermione's screen name.