Out of the Blue
Author's Note: Hello! :P
Disclaimer: I do not own The Boosh and am too tired from many trips to Westminster to think of anything else to say.
It just wasn't my day that day.
That was what I didn't get.
It's always supposed to be my day, I'm Vince Noir, the days trip over themselves tryin' to get to be my day first, but that day they didn't even stumble.
My hair weren't right. I dunno what was wrong with it but it just weren't right.
Then I couldn't find my hat, the one that had to go with my outfit. It literally just evaporated into the ceiling or something.
And then my jeans were at least a size too big for me. Dunno 'ow that 'appened. They just fell off my hips like I'd stepped into a pair of those clown trousers without the braces.
By then I was gettin' well edgy so my eyes 'ad gone all watery an' I couldn't put my eyeliner on.
Nightmare.
Eleven-thirty-in-the-morning-mare.
Whatever, I didn't really care at the time, did I? I was too busy tryin'a untangle a pencil from my hair.
Don't ask.
When I got down in the shop I literally wanted to go invisible. I wanted to rub out me image and start again like an etch-a-sketch.
And then Howard, right, known for coming out of the blue with the weirdest things, or sayin' stuff at the wrong time went:
'You look nice today, Vince,'
It wasn't even the fact that 'e'd said only 'nice', it was cos 'e'd mentioned the way I look, which 'e never does- I just lost it.
I started shoutin' and swearin' and' I might have done a little scream. In my hat. So the noise was trapped in the glittery fabricy prison an' didn't get all out in the airspace and cause all the trendies of Dalston to run to the rescue.
What happened next is the weirdest bit of all.
'E put 'is arms around me.
Howard.
In a proper hug.
I dunno why, an' I wish I 'adn't, but I just started bawlin' into the Hawaiian fabric like a tantruming infant.
The way 'is voice sounded jus' started me off.
'Hey now, Little Man, shh...'
Tha's all 'e said.
I dunno how long we stood there like that for. Well embarrassing, me crying like a little girl.
He felt nice.
'E went:
'Just a bad day?'
An' I went:
'Yeah.'
An then 'e went:
'Well, just remember; you're Vince Noir. You can never not look good, yeah?'
I just kept noddin'. I didn't know what else to do really.
When 'e does things like that, out o' the blue, I wonder if it's cos...
Nah, it was just a bad day.
An out o' the blue day.
Get them sometimes.
Sort of wish they'd 'appen more often, actually.