I'm kind of getting a bit tired of the other two stories I have 'I'm A Monster' and 'Red Headed Lover'. So, I'm making a new fanfiction...ABOUT JO TAYLOR! :D Oh, and this is rated M, so please don't be disgusted.
Chapter One: Third Wheel
My name is Jo Taylor. I wanted to be an actress, I wanted all the glitz and fame Hollywood could bring me. When I was a little girl, my mother always used to say 'Jo, keep your head up. Don't forget who you are and who you want to be. Never give up on your dreams'. I listened to my mother, and let those words sink into my mind. I always wanted to be on that big screen, always wanted tons of friends, a big penthouse by the ocean, and a muscular boyfriend who would be as romantic as all of those Romance novels put together...
I didn't want to become this. I didn't want any of it... But I can't leave this life so easily. My name is Jo Taylor, and here is my story.
It was a late afternoon in the Palm Woods, the sun peaking high up in the California air. The lobby was bustling with people, of all riches and talent. Bitters was trying hard not to have a breakdown right then and there, but he was doing a good job at it.
I reread the text that Kendall sent multiple times, 'Hey Jo. You wanna hang? Meet me in the lobby'. Of course it was short notice, and I know Kendall was always unorganized as it is, but it kind of frustrates me.
Like when we were dating, how he tried to keep my attention between those auditions and those plays. Sometimes he can be a handful. "Hey Jo", Kendall called out, and I turned to face him. His thick, luscious blond hair, his sun tanned skin, the little smile he does that just makes my palms sweat.
"Hi Kendall", I smiled at him, pushing back my blond hair. I looked intently into Kendall's emerald, sparkling eyes. I still remembered when we would go to the beach between acting and just stare into each other's eyes. I miss those days.
The truth is that when Kendall sat me down and grabbed my hand and told me it was over, something kind of broke inside of me. I couldn't process what was happening and I thought I couldn't go on. Of course, whenever I saw Kendall after that I acted strong, and okay. I wasn't on the inside. That boy made me cry myself to sleep each night, and made me think of all the good memories we had.
I slowly pushed acting away after he broke up with me, I remember rejecting all acting roles, and slumping around the apartment.
"So, Jo. This is Megan", Kendall again, ruined my train of thought, and stared at a girl who was at his side, "She's my girlfriend." I embraced the girl. She looked like she came right out of an Abecrombie and Fitch catalog.
The beautiful flowing brown hair down to her back, the gorgeous face, her tight little blue dress. She was beautiful, no doubt. Way prettier then I could ever be. I put on a fake smile, and we both shook hands. I looked back at Kendall, who was staring at Megan.
Kendall wanted me to hang out with him on his own date. Was it to make me jealous, or was it just a pity way of trying to get me out of my apartment for once. Either way, I didn't think that was right at all.
After a while of communicating and socializing, we went to the pool. Turns out Megan's father is the head of a Mega Corporation somewhere down in Hawaii. She's too good to be true. Soon, the three of us sat down at a table placed right by the pool. Of course, it was crowded, like it always was.
"So, Jo. Kendall told me a lot about you", Megan changed the subject and turned towards me. I couldn't help but blush a bit when she said this. Kendall talked about me? A lot? I felt like such a little girl when she said that. "Yeah, Kendall says you still didn't get an acting job yet. Such a shame." Kendall kind of stared at her, with a glare.
My red cheeks went back to normal, and I shrugged to myself. Oh. "Yeah, it's hard out there", I squeezed out as I played with my thumbs under my table. I just wanted to leave, get up from the chair and walk to my apartment.
"Megan means that acting is a hard profession, and your lucky that you are good at it", Kendall tried to fix the current situation but couldn't. He probably did talk about me behind my back. About my career. About losing my virginity to him at that New Year's Eve party. I suddenly felt like a clown, like I was their entertainment.
When things possibly couldn't get any worse, Megan and Kendall shared looks and then their lips locked. And not just a normal peck, a slow rough tongue kiss. I tried to turn my head, and avoid it but I couldn't. I stared at them, and for a sudden second I felt jealous. I wanted Kendall all to myself. I wanted him. 'He broke up with you, dufus!' the voice inside my head reminded me.
I couldn't stay here. I cleared my throat, and interrupted their hot steamy kiss. "Well, look at the time. I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Megan. Bye Kendall." Before they could even wave, I got up from my chair and rushed down the poolside.
Before I knew it, I was in my apartment. I lunged for the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and watched a single tear. No, Jo. Kendall doesn't want you. He has an amazing, beautiful, skinny super model he could have. Face it Jo, you're useless... How can you compare to Megan? You don't even have the body.
I looked down at my figure. I was thin because, I had to get fit for roles in the past. I had no boobs, only a B cup. I had no ass, like Megan did. I looked back at my face, and noticed more tears streamed down my face. I was pathetic. My makeup ran down my cheek, as well as my tears.
I wiped them off in a hurry, and stared at the razor blade that was originally put there for older men to shave. No one cared to tell Bitters that was out of fashion, and everyone just uses a regular one. But Bitters was too cheap for that. I picked up the razor blade, and held it in my hands. How could Kendall ever want you? You're thin, ugly and PATHETIC!
I put the razor blade in between my thumb and pointer finger. I brought it to my arm, and thought for a moment. Do it, Jo. It will make you more perfect. Of course, I listened to the voice inside of me. I slit a line across my wrist then another one. Then another. Then another. Then another. I kept doing it, until I dropped the razor and it landed in the sink. There was a lot of blood, covering the sink and the counter.
"Sweety, I'm home from the store", mom called out from the living room, and I quickly grabbed a small towel from the cabinet and wiped all the blood up. I threw it in the trash, and quickly ran my wrist under the cold water. I felt light headed. I felt like I was going to faint.
"Okay mom", I finally replied, when I was able to talk. Somehow, the cuts that were freshly created on my wrist did make me feel better. They made the voice inside my head go away. They made me feel numb, and good.
I quickly went to my room, and avoided contact from my mother that moment. Something boiled inside of me that day, something made me go a bit insane. Something made me even more insecure about myself then ever. And that my friends, is the beginning of my story.
Tell me whatcha think? I wanna know if I should continue. Please review, it makes me feel inspired to do more. And don't worry, it's not all about depression. It will get more and more into it.