Opening Up
Garfield exhaled a long and exhausted sigh as his head hit the pillow. He concentrated on catching his breath when he felt her head press against his chest. His left eye opened to look at her as she cuddled against his bare body, her own in a similar state of undress. Both Garfield and Raven's desires had been sated by the fervid love making they had just finished. They both enjoyed a rare moment of quiet as they basked in the afterglow of their passion.
Garfield wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her upper arm a gentle squeeze. Although the silence was nice and he was enjoying it, it wasn't his style to stay quiet for long. His body was speaking before his mind could convince him otherwise.
"You know..." His chest rumbled against her ear as he spoke. She nuzzled her way further into his warm flesh and tightened her grip on his torso. "I keep thinking this is all a dream." He continued.
"Like... I'll wake up one day and be back in my room, staring at my bunk bed... Or I'll be back at the Doom Patrol's headquarters, and everything here would just be... gone." It was uncharacteristic of him to say the least, but these rare glimpses into his mind were never ignored. Not by her. She slowly raised her head and he glanced over her form. Still naked, as he was. Her pale skin seemed to reflect the moonlight and brighten up the room. The curves of her body were certainly doing wonders of brightening up something else.
"Like one day you'll be gone. Everybody will be gone, and it'll be just me again."
She hugged him tightly and moved to lay on his chest. Those amethyst coloured eyes stared into his, like she was looking into his soul.
"It's not a dream, Gar. I'm not a dream." The corners of her lips pulled upward into a warm smile. That was his smile, a smile she only ever gave to him. She would give Cyborg warm smiles that made him jealous, he couldn't argue that fact, but they were different. She had smiled at Robin before too, even hugged him, but for some reason he never felt jealous of those interactions. Robin had done so much for her, especially on that day. Robin had done so much for all of them. Starfire shared Robin's smile. But that warm smile she put on for him and only him made him melt. Any doubts in his mind washed away, and he found himself hugging her back, pressing her body into him so that there was no space between them. No chance for her to disappear.
"You sure about that? 'Cause, I mean, you sure seem dreamy to me." He wiggled his eyebrows at her as she looked up at him and she rolled her eyes. Only he could ruin a moment like that, and still be so endearing while he did it. She released a lighthearted chuckle and returned to snuggling into his chest.
"Oh, shut up." She said. A sigh of content escaped her lips as she returned to the warmth of his chest. "None of us are going anywhere, you know that. After all, you put it best. We're a family." Her hand wandered down his arm as she spoke and took his considerably larger hand into her own smaller hand. She wrapped her delicate, lithe digits around his strong ones and squeezed lightly. "The weirdest, most unorthodox, most... "kick ass" family there is." She added in words that definitely fit his manner of speaking better than her own.
He chuckled and pulled her close to kiss the top of her head. "I didn't think you ever listened to me enough to remember that."
"You are... surprisingly insightful and emotionally stimulating." She nodded in agreement to her own words. "When you want to be."
"Emotionally stimulating, huh? Is that why you always yell my name so loud when we're bumpin' uglies?" He had such a way with words.
She sighed and sat up again to look him in the eyes. "Only you can ruin a moment so effortlessly."
He grinned. "And only you can still love me for it afterward."
She smiled again. His smile. Her dainty hands came to rest on his cheeks and she pressed her lips against his. It was a soft and tender kiss, and a pleasant contrast from their rough kissing earlier. She would've considered it to be more akin to mashing their faces together, but in the heat of their passion, it was appropriate.
They returned to their earlier positions. She cuddled against his left side and he held her close.
"You ever get dreams like that?" He asked her.
"Like what? Dreaming about everybody disappearing?" Her index finger traced circles on his pectoral muscles.
"Er, no... Or, well, not exactly. Dreams where time just seems to last forever. Like... a dream where you life a full life, and you wake up and you've only been asleep for like five hours."
She pondered a minute before shrugging her bare shoulders and shivered slightly. Her lover was the closest thing to a living space-heater that the tower had, but without his arms wrapped around her and holding her close, it was hard to shrug off the cold that the middle of winter brought. He reached down and grasped the edge of the comforter that had been tossed around. He laid it over her shoulders, then returned his arm to rest behind his head.
"I suppose the possibility exists. I don't remember each of my dreams." He nodded to that.
"Yeah, that's fair." A short silence fell over them, only breaking when he spoke again. "What about- … er, hah... Nevermind. That's kind of a dumb question."
She tilted her head and looked up at him, her interest obviously piqued. "What was it?"
"Um... Well... I was going to ask about nightmares, but... well, y'know."
Her head moved to return to his chest and she nodded. The question had already been answered wordlessly on her part, but her interest was still piqued. "What about you?"
"Huh?"
"Do... do you have nightmares?" Of course he did. She had woken up many times to feelings of intense panic and dread from him, even before they began sharing a bed. "What are they about?"
Silence once again fell over them, but this time it was uncomfortable. Garfield was such an enigma. His existence was an anomaly, and his attitude more so from what she had gathered from his past. She knew so little about his past. He was almost as bad as Dick.
Actually... maybe Garfield was worse. She knew what Robin's face looked like, what colour his eyes were. She knew how his parents died, or rather... how they'd been killed. She knew how he trained with Batman, what drove him to Jump City, how he was replaced and then his replacement was killed. She knew so much about their secretive leader, but next to nothing about her energetic, fun loving, socializing lover. Yet she understood his reasons. They were heroes, superheroes. They were allowed their secrets. But even yet, she couldn't\ help but feel... hurt? No, that wasn't quite the word. She was the same way, she wouldn't allow herself to feel hurt when she kept things from him.
The two of them had something of an unspoken respect for each other's secrets. But she knew that if he asked, she would tell him without hesitating. She wondered if he returned those feelings.
"Yeah." he said simply. His eyes stared up at the canopy of her bed, straining to stay open as the need for sleep crept up on him. "I do."
"You don't have to talk about them if you don't want to."
"...Yeah. I want to, though. I... dream about my parents a lot. My real parents." He paused to take a breath.
"Mark and Marie. That was their names. When I got that thing... Sakutia. They cured me of it and turned me into... well, me, I guess. Me now, I mean. I found out about my powers right after I woke up. They were freakin' out 'cause I was turning green. I opened my eyes and turned into a uh... a Paracolobus Chemeroni." She blinked. His knowledge of animals always astounded her. He was a breathing encyclopedia filled with information about animals, among other things.
"It's an extinct species of primate that lived in the eastern Africa area during the Pilocene period. It was in a book my Dad gave me for my birthday. It -" he stopped himself when she noticed her smiling up at him. He always got carried away when it came to animals. They were his passion, even though they had to be.
"Aha... sorry. So, I shifted, they freaked out, I shifted back. They didn't know what was happening, I didn't know what was happening... Well, I didn't really care. I could turn into a monkey! It was so cool." he said, the fond memory bringing a smile to his face. It faded quickly as the rest of the story materialized in his mind while he worked on forming the memories into words.
"They uh... ...we were in a canoe on the Tugela River in the KwaZulu-Natal Province. It's in South Africa - ...They... they thought we were on a different river." He paused again and stared off for a moment.
"We'd been hiking and camping for a week or so. They thought we were further north when we put the canoe in. We were going to go left at a fork in the river, heading toward Ebusingatha." She was amazed at his recollection of the events. It seemed almost photographic...
"But we missed the fork. We went further south and took the next left. It... lead to Tugela Falls. By the time they'd realized, the water was pickin' up and... y'know. I couldn't do anything. I didn't even realize. I remember my Dad looking at my Mom and her eyes went all wide. Then she looked at me and she told me that she wanted to see me fly." He paused again to take a breath. The story was taxing, but his desire to tell her overrode his need to rest. She was his girlfriend. His lover. He'd seen parts of her nobody else had seen, parts nobody else would ever see. He shared feelings and emotions new to both of them, shared words and thoughts they'd never thought they would say to each other. She deserved to know.
"I was a dumb kid." his voice broke as he set his jaw. He wasn't going to cry, he couldn't. He wasn't a kid. He was a twenty year old man. Men don't cry. Superheroes don't cry.
"I got all excited. My mom was never really into the powers. She thought it was going to get me hurt. Guess that's kind of ironic, considering..." Now that was a morbid thought. Was that even the correct use of irony? He didn't dwell on the thought for long. and he continued.
"So I turned into a Southern Carmine bee-eater. They're smart birds, I saw them during the hike. They mostly eat insects which is kind of funny 'cause of the whole vegetarian deal. But they'll circle cars and hawks to catch escape... damn it." He realized he was doing it again. She smiled as that childish joy that stemmed from recollecting small facts about animals consumed him, providing temporary solace from his deeper thoughts.
"So I turned into a bird, and I flew off. I tried doing tricks to impress her, show her it was cool. I nearly crashed into the water a few times, and I thought they'd be laughing, but they just looked so... so..." He sighed.
"They knew, man. They knew... I flew back when I got tired. The water was picking up like rapids. They told me they loved me and she asked me to fly again. I got so excited. I thought she was finally liking my powers."
The pause that followed was heart wrenching. Her heart was heavy as she felt the emotions run off him like... well, like water. It wasn't until he collected himself that he continued. He wasn't going to cry in front of her.
"I was... I was such a dumb kid, you know? By the time I'd realized..." his jaw was quivering. She knew why he didn't want to talk about it now, and she almost regretted asking about it. Almost. He squeezed her hand and she hugged him tight.
"I heard the waterfall and flew ahead to see. It was so fucking high. Four hundred eleven meters. Three thousand, one hundred ten fuckin' feet. That's just... that's how far they fell. They went over and I didn't hear anything. I just heard the waterfall. But they were screaming. I know it." Now she felt anger seeping off him.
Was he angry at the waterfall? No, of course not. He wasn't that stupid. He knew he was angry at himself. Maybe if he had realized sooner, he could have warned them. If he was smarter, he could have noticed they missed that left. If he was stronger, maybe he could have saved them. But he didn't. He was oblivious. He was stupid. He was weak.
"If I was better, I could've done something. Yeah I know, I wasn't. I couldn't have been. But if I had been..."
She had been silent up until now, but she felt the burning desire to speak. Maybe it was the influx of emotions that bore into her core like a drill that tempted her. Her stomach felt empty but her chest felt heavy, and that was only a small taste of the emotions that he gave off. This kind of pain was terrible. She could heal wounds of the body, but wounds of the mind... the pain that came from memories, they weren't so easy. She couldn't take that burden from him, and she cursed her powers for lacking that ability.
"You would never have met us. Met me." She said. It was selfish and she knew it. But what had happened was unavoidable. It happened, no amount of self loathing, or anger, or hatred, or sadness would change it. But she could show him the silver lining.
"Yeah." He pulled her up to him and planted a soft kiss upon her lips. "...Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I would never have met you. Or Vic... or Kori, or Dick. Or any of the other Titans. I'd just be some boring kid." He kissed her again and she returned it, then moved to nuzzle into his neck. Her nose was cold as it hit his green skin, rapidly heating up against his warmth. "I'd never know what your lips taste like too. I don't think I could live like that." He smiled down at her and her face flushed.
"Gar?" She said quietly, almost a whisper against his skin. Her breath tickled him away from the slepe he so desperately needed. "Mm?"
"I love you."
She felt his heartbeat quicken and a hitched breath escape from between his lips. He always said it first. Whether when they were making love, or if he was teasing her in the hallway barely ten feet from where their oblivious friends were conversing, or like this. Laying in bed, talking about whatever they felt like talking about. He would say it first, then she would say it, and they would fall asleep in each other's arms. That was their routine.
"I love you too, Rae."
Her eyes slowly fluttered closed. The firm grasp of sleep had crept up on her much faster than she thought, but then again, their activities earlier were a bit more exhausting than usual. Very few people could match his stamina and endurance. She was surely not one of them. The last thing she heard before drifting away into sleep was his voice, whispering "Thank you." before he too gave in to his sleepy desires.
So, I decked this little one-off out in a few hours last night and I'm pretty proud of it! It's not much, and it kinda throws you right into the middle of a setting without much build up. I was planning on writing up an actual multiple chapter story but can't find the energy for it, so I think I may just post a series of one shots that are all connected to the same over-arching setting.
Cover Artwork was done by Iesnoth on DeviantArt! Check them out!