A/N: This is the most cliché thing I've done in awhile, but whut the heck. I needed a dash of cliché. Plus, Fang and Max need to get their rears into gear and start shagging.

Max: Hey! We're only 14!

Tomo: Yeah, I was 14 three years ago. I thought I was good and ready too. Luckily for me, I was horribly unpopular and couldn't get a boyfriend no matter how hard I tried. Still can't. WOOO for ambiguous-appearing sexuality!

Max: o.O

Tomo: -gropes Max-

Max: O.O

Fang: Hey!

Tomo: -fondles Fang, then runs for her life-

Max and Fang: -chase Tomo down and kill her-

...I seriously need to rein in my imagination. ABWAHAHAHA

Warnings: At least vaguely amusing, and slightly crude. Oh and AU, since I'm semi-rewriting the books. Future chapters have StWaOES SPOILERS.

Disclaimer: If I was the owner, Max, Fang, and Iggy would be shagging like bunnies, Angel and Nudge would be hookers, and Gazzy would be their pimp. And shagging with Iggy. Therefore, I obviously don't own.

Warning 2: This chapter is BAD, especially the start. I wasn't -really- inspired, until I got into the actual plot, where I decided to make this more epic. From chapters 3-4 this story gets good, so please stick around. As it is, I'm honestly ashamed of the start of this chapter. I tried to rewrite it, but fell asleep on the keys, and wrote like 7 pages of mnnnnnnnnubvtyjngmdsuvngukmgvnrjcejntgjhke, lol.

Switching Sides

I yawned. I was the first one awake, and attempting to make bacon. Failing miserably of course. A prickle at the back of my neck made me shriek and whirl around, still gripping the frying pan, which resulted in a strip of bacon flying out and hitting Fang. Ah well. It was burned anyway.

"Hey!" He said, leaping back. "Gross! Now I have to change." He stalked off angrily, but didn't notice the open cupboard right at his head height. Whack. Ouch. I actually winced at the sound it made, and Fang went down, having been knocked unconscious. I knelt down, checking him worriedly.

"Fang... Are you okay?" I said desperately, touching his forehead. The moment my fingers made contact, a massive pain exploded in the back of my head. This was huge. Worse than anything I had ever felt. I clutched my head, crying, and passed out on Fang's chest.

Unfortunately for well... everyone, the stovetop was left on, and Fang falling had knocked some paper towels out of the cuboard... right onto the gas ring. The flimsy paper ignited, setting off the fire alarm. Two seconds later, Iggy burst into the room, smelling the smoke, and almost tripped over me and Fang. By now, the fire had shifted to the frying pan full of oil, which fell from the bench, almost hitting me and Fang. Nudge got to the room, coughing at the smoke, and screamed, seeing the whole scene. She grabbed the fire extinguisher, spraying everything in foam.

I awoke in a warm bed, feeling relaxed and peaceful. I snuggled deeper under the covers, content to relax for a few more minutes. Unluckily for me, a second later, I heard Iggy's voice ring out.

"Hey! I think he's awake!"

Too groggy to care, I groaned and rolled over, then froze. My voice sounded a lot lower. And did Iggy say 'he'? I sat bolt upright, expecting to see the poster-covered wall of my bedroom, only for my eyes to instead land on black and red designs. Fang's room? What was I doing here?

Then, Nudge's voice came floating in from my left. "Max is up too!" She called, followed by a loud shriek I recognised as my own. What the h-e-double toothpicks was going on?

I leaped out of Fang's bed, totally ignoring the fact that I knocked Iggy on his butt, and tore through to my room. As I was running I looked down and was shocked to see... no breasts. Not to mention that the hair around my face was black, not brown, and a lot shorter than it should have been. I practically slammed through my door, freezing in place where I saw myself staring back at me.

000

My body gave a sort of squeak, and then said "What am I doing there?"

I cast my eyes around wildly. Nudge looked slightly frightened; the flock's only real 'parent figures' (Iggy didn't count, because he wasn't as mature as us.) appeared to have gone crazy.

"Nudge. Out. Now." I said hoarsely, in a voice that wasn't my own. I was relieved to see that she complied, and I collapsed, panting, onto my bed. "Who the hell are you?" I asked, too tired to care about censorship.

"I could ask the same thing." The other me said coldly, and folded her arms. And then unfolded. And folded. And then announced loudly. "I have BREASTS?!?"

"No, really?" I said sarcastically. "They're mine!"

The other me looked up slowly from examining my cleavage to stare at me. "Max?!?" They cried.

"No freaking duh!" I exclaimed, glaring at them. "Who are you?"

"Fang!" Sh-HE shrieked, in a much higher pitch than I had ever achieved in that body. "You're me!"

"What?" I stared down at myself for the first time, then glanced over at my solitary mirror. Sure enough, Fang stared back at me astonishedly.

"I'm you!" I squealed, which didn't sound quite right coming from Fang. He nodded, and we simply stared at each other for a minute. Then Fang clutched his head.

"What is it?" I asked worriedly, rushing around to him.

"There's a voice in my head..." He hissed through gritted teeth. "Did this ever happen to you?"

I was only on the second shake of my head when it hit me too. I fell back onto my bed, clutching my ears. And then it came.

Hello Max, or should I say, Fang. Are you enjoying your first test?

'Test?' I thought back desperately, 'What test?' and was astonished when I got a response.

You are being tested, Max, because you have to save the world.

'Save the world?' I thought, but it was gone. The pain eased, and I opened my eyes, to stare at Fang. He was panting, eyes wild.

"What did it tell you?" He asked, turning his head to me.

"Test. Saving world. Pain." I said blurrily, looking back up at him. "You?"

"Same thing." He shrugged. "Now what?" He was already recovering. Damn Fang had kept his pain supressing skills apparently; just like him.

"I don't know... We have to figure out what happened to us." He said, eyeing me. I nodded, and Fang's hair flicked into my face in a way that I always thought was kinda cute, but now realised was just annoying. I blew it back before speaking.

"We were in the kitchen. You hit your head and passed out. I went to check on you, and I don't know... Everything went black. I just remember pain, like when the Voice spoke. And then I woke up in your bed, and Iggy said 'he' was awake and I came here." I shrugged. "What day is it?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. But I hit my head and it was just a little bang, but then like you said, the pain. I remember seeing you rush over, and then I woke up with Nudge reading me a story while I slept."

I raised an eyebrow. "That kid needs her vocal chords removed." Fang smiled, and I smiled back.

"So." He asked, in a fashion that reminded me of me. "Now what?"

I mused for a few minutes, then a lightbulb went on in my head. "We pretend to be each other."

"What?" He asked quizzically.

I smiled in a very un-fangish way, to annoy him. "It's a test, right? So we just have to be each other. Maybe we have to work together to save the world or whatever, I don't know, so we have to understand each other better."

Fang nodded slowly. "Okay... so you want me to be you?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "And I'll be you. Like that game we used to play."

"'That game' consisted of me strutting around going 'look at me, I'm Max, I'm so great.' and you yelling at me and finally punching my lights out."

I smiled. "Good times."

"But what about... baths and clothes and things?"

I turned red. I hadn't thought of that. "Um... well... We just deal with it, okay." I stared at Fang's... my knees, I suppose, and blushed scarlet.

He nodded, apparently as embarrassed as me. My face is a lot more expressive than his.

"Scoot." Fang said after a moment, now smirking. "I've gotta get dressed."

"WHAT?" I shrieked, and it sounded wrong in his voice. "No way! You're not gonna be alone with my body without me!"

"But you're gonna be alone with mine..." He pointed out.

"But I don't... eww." I eyed him. "You think I wanna see your ugly-ass body naked!" Lie, and lie. Fang was well... hot, and no girl with hormones wouldn't want to. Not that I'd ever let him know.

He shrugged. "And you think I wanna see yours?" He raised an eyebrow, and I nodded.

"You're a teenage boy. You like breasts, sports, and loud music."

"Sexist much?" He raised an eyebrow. "That being said, I wouldn't mind getting some alone time in with these two..." He looked down unashamedly at my chest, and I slapped him.

"Stop it. I'll have to help you get changed anyway, I bet you don't know how to work a bra."

"You actually need one?" He raised an eyebrow, standing up as I did the same. He then fell over back onto the bed. "Wow. Bouncy."

I smacked him again. "Get up and close your eyes." He did as he was told, trying to find his centre in the new shape. I blindfolded him as an extra measure, and then grabbed some of my clothes, dressing Fang-me quickly. I then tugged off the blindfold, glaring at him. "You can look now."

"Okay, your turn." He smirked.

"What? I don't wanna get changed!"

"You have to. I almost never leave my room in pyjamas." It was true. I just didn't want it to come so soon.

"Fine. Come on." I strode back to Fang's room, trying to copy the way he walked. There was more to this than I had thought, this being Fang thing. He, meanwhile, was trying to get used to the sensation of wearing a bra, and walk like me all at the same time.

"How do you do this?" He hissed, scratching his shoulder. "It feels disgusting!"

"Keeps 'em in." I muttered back grimly, opening the door to Fang and Iggy's room. No... -my- and Iggy's room. There was no way we could switch without being suspicious, so I'd have to stay here for the time being. Thankfully Iggy was out, presumably talking with Nudge about our weird behaviour. So, heaving a sigh, I began to unbutton my pyjama top.

"Uh-uh." Fang said, stopping my hand. "Blindfolded." He tied the sock I had used for him around my eyes, and then set about changing me. It was a really weird feeling, having someone else stripping me, and putting clothes on. I had to work hard not to cringe, remembering this was his body.

"This isn't gonna work." Fang said, once I was dressed, as he untied the blindfold. "We can't visit each other just to change, and it'd just be freaky if we followed each other to the toilet and stuff. We're gonna have to get used to it."

I blushed, but nodded. "I guess." I sighed, blowing his hair back again. He pushed it back where it was.

"No blowie. Gotta be each other. Which means we now have to sit down and tell each other every single thing about ourselves.

And we did. It was hard, but I spilled everything about me to Fang, and Fang told me all he could think of about himself.

"Okay, so we're good? Everything you can think of?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Okay." I said, and he nodded again. We both knew this was the big test. If we could fool the people who knew us best, we could fool anyone. I stood up, taking a deep breath, and Fang followed suit.

"Okay Ma...Fang? He asked, smiling in the way I did.

"Ready, Max." I answered back, assuming Fang's default expression.

"Then let's do this." He said. I nodded, and we left the room.

The moment she spotted us, Nudge ran over. "There you two are! I was worried when you weren't in Max's room. Iggy was worried too... He and Gazzy are out looking for you, Angel and I stayed behind to see if you showed up. We didn't even think of..." I watched impassively as Fang held a hand up to stop her, remembering that I was usually the one to make her shut up.

"Nudge, can you go find Iggy and Gazzy, tell them we're here." He asked, imitating me perfectly.

"Sure!" She smiled. "I mean, I was gonna offer to do that right away, I just really wanna know what happened to you guys! We found you passed out, and the kitchen was on fire! It was sooo scary..." Fang gave her a look, and she left, eyeing us suspiciously.

"We have to talk to Angel." I said at once. A lightbulb had gone off in my head; Angel could read minds. She would know. We had to get to her before anyone else. So, we both dropped our acts and raced around to find Angel, who turned out to have been sitting on the couch the whole time.

"Hi, Max." She beamed at me.

I sighed, and smiled weakly back. "Hey kiddo."

"I know you're pretending, no big. I can play along." She smiled knowingly, and I breathed out in relief.

"Thanks so much, Angel. You're the best."

"I know I am." She grinned. "Can I have some candy?"

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head, eyeing the wall clock. The only one left from Iggy and Gazzy's explosives. "Almost dinner time. Iggy'll probably start to cook soon as he gets back."

Fang nodded. "Come on Angel." He picked her up, something I had never, ever seen him do before. "Nudge is coming back any minute. We've gotta get the act up again." He said simply, and proceeded to coo over Angel exactly the way I did. Shrugging my shoulders, I sat myself in a chair, staring at him boredly. What did Fang do all day?

As I watched them play happily, I realised something about myself. "I" looked more like a mother than anything any of us had imagined, which made me think. Did we even need parents? Maybe I was all we really needed anymore; the search for our parents was proving fruitless, and I wasn't too hopeful. And then I thought about Fang; his dry humour, the way he was able to be silly, but not too silly with the others; like a dad, really. I smiled at the thought; Fang and I, mum and dad of the flock. What a wonderful thought.

"Fang?" Nudge's voice drifted through to me, snapping me back to reality. "Are you... smiling?"

I blinked. "Uhh..." 'Okay Max.' I thought. 'Time to see how well you can be Fang.'

"I was just thinking." I shrugged. "Happy thoughts and all that."

I looked up to see Fang throw me a quick grin, before putting Angel down. He turned to Iggy and said, in my parenting voice, I realised, "Iggy, can you make dinner? I'll keep these guys occupied."

Iggy nodded, buying it. "Okay. And Nudge, yes this means you, stay out of the kitchen." He smirked. "I don't need talk radio while cooking, not even if other people do."

I had to contain my giggles, which Fang seemed to siphon off, and used politely. "Come on Nudge, you can bug Fang." I gave him his own patented 'Why? Just... why?' look, and he gave back my typical grin. It felt weird to be on this end of it.

"So Fang, can you tell me what happened before? Because I'm really anxious to know... Was it you or Max cooking? Because if it was her, that's really weird! I mean, why would Max cook? She doesn't even like it, and everyone knows she's no good at it, why not just leave it to someone like Iggy, I mean he can cook well, and he's blind..." I tuned her out, nodding occasionally, and staring into the distance like Fang always did when I made Nudge talk to him. You didn't really participate in a conversation with Nudge; you listened to her have the conversation for you.

"I mean, there's no way Angel could withstand that, although if she had her wings out, I'm sure she could totally kick some butt..." Nudge said, and I realised she had moved on without me noticing. I nodded politely, and watched Fang playing with Angel and Gazzy. It strangely seemed to come naturally to him, and I realised that given the opportunity, Fang would be a fantastic parent. All he needed was time, and the opportunity to come out of his shell. Now he had both of them, and was using them to the full potential.

"I'm gonna go on the computer." I said abruptly, interrupting Nudge's spiel about how some celebrity had a dog with hair the same colour as Angel's, and got up to go on the internet. I had made up my mind to do some looking into what had happened to us, and as soon as possible, to try and reverse it. I decided to start ridiculously simple, and just googled 'body swap.' Needless to say, a few Sci-Fi websites came up, and not much else. I scanned through boredly, in case whatever had happened to us was inspired by one of these. One made me freeze though, and reread the page.

Body Swap; episode 193 of Galaxy Star Journey, season 21.

Captain Garcia and Andrew Anderson switch bodies, leaving them in a terrible situation where they land on a scientific planet. They are taken to 'the school' where geneticists attempt to attach wings to their backs. Maria and Andrew escape by finally owning up to their feelings and kissing, returning their own energies to their bodies. Episode written by Jeb Batchelder, copyright 2000 to Itex TV

Jeb? But that didn't make sense... he was working for the school at the time, and just who were Itex? I frowned deeply, investigating the various links. I would have to share this information with Fang. Before that though...

"Dinner's ready!" Called Iggy, and I was forced to abandon my search, slouching to the table just as Fang entered the room, Gazzy seated naturally on his hip. He seemed so comfortable being me, and I was amazed at how easy it was being him. It was like we just fell into each other naturally. Without even thinking, I shifted my cup of water to my left hand side from the right, like Fang always did, and took a small sip, like Fang always did.

"Fang?" Iggy asked, head turned in my direction.

"What is it, Iggy?" I asked semi-tonelessly, not bothering to look at him, like Fang always did.

"I meant to ask, what happened to you and Max? I came through and you were passed out, and the kitchen was on fire.

"Uh... Max was cooking. I went through to see her, and hit my head on the way out." I looked slightly sheepish, as I knew Fang would have when owning up to something stupid he did. "I don't know after that." Actually, I did know, but Fang wouldn't. Luckily for me, he did.

Fang nodded. "I went to check him, and whacked my head too, on the cupboard beside him. Really kinda embarrassing." He blushed and squirmed slightly.

I smirked. "Is that what happened? Guess I've got nothing to be embarrassed about then, if you did the same thing."

"Hey!" He turned red, glaring at me. "I wasn't the one who hit my head in the first place!"

I was totally grinning inside. It was just like one of our real fights, only the roles reversed. This meant I got to win! I smirked superiorly. "Yeah, but how do you manage to hit your head, when you're checking someone who hit their head? That's like, the ultimate in moron."

"Hey! You're the Almighty Fang! It's always worse when the Almighty Fang does something dumb." He glared hotly at me.

"What about Mighty Max?" Both of us were standing up now, yelling loudly, though I could practically see Fang laughing his head off.

"And then they kissed." Iggy interrupted, making both of us blush.

"Iggy!" Fang shrieked. "Don't be gross! I don't like Fang!"

"Just keep telling yourself." Iggy assured him, smirking to himself.

I glared at the table. "I'm not hungry." I spat, exactly the way Fang did when he was gonna walk away from a meal. Then, I did just that. I stalked off, slamming Fang's door.

The moment I was inside, I burst out laughing, so hard I couldn't stop. Just when I was running out of oxygen, Fang burst into the room. He closed the door, looked at me, then burst out laughing too. We clutched each other for support, finally collapsing on Fang's... MY bed. We lay there next to each other, giggling our heads off, until it died away, leaving us with uneasy silence. We were practically touching noses, and I thought of how weird it was that I found myself wanting to kiss myself. I then thought of how disturbing it was that I was thinking of kissing anyone. At the thought of kissing Fang-me, I felt a slight pressure building, one I couldn't quite understand.

Fang giggled. "Maybe I should go before they notice I'm in here." I looked down in the direction of his eyes and... oh. That was what it felt like. I blushed, looking away.

He patted my shoulder understandingly. "Now you know how I feel. I'm a horny teenage guy, with one girl nearby, who would rip his head off if he tried. Sometimes I envy Iggy, not being able to see."

I eyed him. "Right. Goodnight then." I rolled over, facing away from him.

He pouted, pulling on my shoulder to turn me back around. "Don't you love me anymore?"

I whacked him. "Grow up Fang, I never loved you. It was just a ploy. I'm really madly in love with Iggy."

"Oh woe is me!" Fang placed a dramatic hand on his forehead, and I giggled. He had really lightened up a lot, being me. I was hoping it'd stay that way.

"So, you don't want to know what to do about that?" He pointed bluntly at my crotch, and I eyed him.

"What do I do about it? I'm not touching it!"

"Cold shower." He shrugged. "Don't worry, I, unlike you, have nothing to be selfconscious over."

I eyed him. "I am not even going to comment on just how phallic that last comment was. Instead, I'll go take a shower, I think."

He nodded. "I'm gonna slip away silently, like a bat now."

"Night Fang." I smiled.

"Night Max."

000

This presented me with a whole new problem; showering. I didn't want to see him... but I was intrigued at the same time. So shyly, shaking slightly, I slipped off Fang's pants and black boxers, trying to ignore what I saw there, but curious simultaneously. I stepped into the shower, shivering at the cold water, but it was gone before long, and I was relieved. I stepped out of the shower, dressing quickly in Fang's black pyjamas, and returned to my room to find Iggy already there, Fang having presumably sent everyone to bed. I returned Iggy's greeting with a glare he couldn't see, remembering that I was mad at him for his comment earlier.

"Look, I'm sorry about that Fang. It just slipped." He said earnestly, propping himself up.

"Yeah, well don't let it slip again." I sighed, flopping onto my bed.

"I know you don't want Max knowing..." He trailed off, and I sat up, staring straight at him.

"Knowing what?" I asked, every muscle tense.

"That you like her of course. Stupid." Iggy said, and I lay back down, not quite sure I wanted to know that. Fang liked me? Weird. Fang wasn't supposed to like me. Did I like him? I was lost in thought, and Iggy obviously assumed I was asleep, because he rolled over himself, and dropped off. Or at least began to snore. I wondered how Fang put up with it. But then thoughts of Fang brought back the whole 'Fang likes me' issue.

Finally, unable to sleep, with it weighing on my mind, I decided to go talk to the man... well... girl, himself. I got up, wrapping Fang's dressing gown around me, and left the room silently.

The hallway was deserted. All the lights were switched off, and I assumed Fang had gone to bed. So, I slipped through to my old room, and entered, not bothering to knock. He was awake of course, reading one of my books.

"Hey!" I said, recognising it. "Hands off my journal!" I blushed, snatching it off him. He looked up, raising an eyebrow in a fashion most unlike me.

"And what are you doing in my room at such a late hour? Gentleman's calling hours are between nine and five."

I smacked him. "I couldn't sleep. Iggy told me something weird."

"Yeah." Fang nodded. "We usually talk for a while after going to bed. Mostly guy stuff; boobs, sports, asses, more boobs..."

"And me." I said finally, and he blinked. Remember how I said my face is more expressive than he's used to? Well, it is. He turned red as a tomato, without noticing.

"Not really. You get the odd mention, but there's not enough in the way of boobs and ass there to stick on."

I rolled my eyes, smacking him again. "He told me."

"Told you what?" There was a trace of panic in his eyes.

"You like me." I blushed. His entire body froze and I stepped back, looking down sadly. So Iggy had just been joking. Sometimes, I swear, I didn't know when he was being sarcastic, and when he was serious. For some reason it made me sad; it would have been nice to be loved by Fang. Maybe we could have been proper parents to the flock then; stopped all this idiocy about finding our parents. I left the room silently, returning to bed, and lay awake all night. Somehow I knew, Fang was doing the same.

000

Meanwhile, Fang was going through the same thing. Written on the last page of Max's journal was one note.

Dear Journal.

I had this weird dream where Fang and I were married, and adopted the rest of the flock. For some reason it made me really happy; could I have a crush on Fang?

Gotta go, Nudge pissed Iggy off again, and they're screaming at each other. Sometimes I swear, those two fight just to bug me.

Maximum Ride.

It had made him curious; COULD Max like him? Maybe it was all a sick joke at his expense, maybe it wasn't. What Fang knew for sure, was that Max had some sort of feelings for him. And just now she had given him a chance to act on his own feelings, and he blew it. Fang cradled his head in his hands and moaned. Why did life insist on torturing him? It would be so much easier if something, just for once, could go right. That thought in mind, Fang dropped off to sleep.

A/N: Mwahaha! Next chapter; Day 2 of the switch! Here's a preview, just to piss you off.

"Tell me!" He demanded, kicking Ari in the stomach as I had done, though not hard enough to knock the wind out of him.

"There was an episode of some Sci-Fi show, written by Jeb." I yelled, dodging Ari's next blow, and almost having Iggy and Gazzy's most recent victim fall on me. "The same thing happened, and..." I blushed, dropping my guard for a second, and Ari smashed into me, sending me hurtling backwards. I hit into Nudge, who was almost beheaded because of it. Still... she poked her eraser in the eyes, hard, sending blood spurting all over her hands. I returned to my own battle, to find that Fang had temporarily subdued Ari.

"What the hell do we do?" He demanded, glaring at me. I couldn't think of a way to explain it, so I just dragged Fang to me, speaking shakily.

"Fang... I love you." I whispered, and pulled him to me, mashing my lips to his.