I've never written a Star Wars fanfic, but I've been rewatching the original trilogy like mad the past few weeks. There's something about the carbonite scene in ESB that gets me every time. Leia's grief is damn near palpable, and it's one of my favorite scenes/ parts from the entire original trilogy. So, with that said, enjoy this adaptation of what goes down in Cloud City.
Look, don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine. Trust me.
Trust me.
She replays his words and over and over, hoping she'll begin to believe them. His fierce sense of optimism, no matter how dire the situation, has always astonished her. She's always admired him for it. But now, she can sense the hopelessness arise, can practically feel it in the hot, heavy air surrounding them. She wants nothing more than to run to him, to be held by him, but she fears her movements will bring about an even worse form of punishment from the Imperials.
It isn't possible.
She doesn't know how things could be any worse. She doesn't believe any other form of torture will surpass the pain she's forced to endure right now, watching the love of her life, her ruggedly handsome scoundrel, being dragged away from her.
But she's wrong.
He tries to reassure her with that famously intoxicating ,lopsided smile of his, but it doesn't work. He wants nothing more than to hold her and to assure her that he won't let anything happen to her. He fears for her sanity, praying to the Gods that she isn't subjected to the same fate as her last capture, aboard the Death Star. He shudders and it takes everything in her not to dissolve as she watches him being carelessly tossed into his cell.
"After you, Princess," an Imperial officer sneers, shoving her into a cell of her own. She closes her eyes and braces herself for the flashbacks. The cool, gray metal that surrounds her is threatening to tip her over the edge, but she fights back. Hard. She won't dare let them see her break-she can't give them the satisfaction- but her resolve starts to falter when she hears the crackling of electricity from next door. She can hear him struggling, and her stomach churns. When his angry shouts turn into piercing screams, she feels as though she's about be to sick, and staggers back against the cool metal. She feels so helpless-powerless-and she feels the threatening sting of tears.
"Your smuggler will be fine," the officer reassures her, but his voice is menacing. It isn't very reassuring at all.
"Lord Vader has other plans for him. And it'd be a shame for him to expire prematurely."
"Other plans?" Leia asks, and she silently berates herself for how small and frightened she sounds.
Her stomach flips as she watches a slow, sinister smile crawl across his face.
"You'll see soon enough," he tells her before slamming the door to her cell.
She leans back and slides down onto the floor. She tries to steady her breathing, but it's impossible. All she can focus on are the deafening screams coming from next door. She thinks they're beginning to die down in both volume and length and it equally comforts and terrifies her.
"Please be okay," she whispers to herself, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I need you, Han," she continues thickly.
"I love you."
He moans in agony as he's yanked from his cell and thrown into a larger, darker room. He throws his hands up to his temples when he hears the door shut, his ears still ringing from the endless shrieks he released during his torture. He doesn't understand how he's still standing, much less how he's still alive.
He hears a small, stifled growl come from somewhere across the vast room. [Han?]
"Chewie?" he calls out, his voice small and hoarse. "Chewie, is that you?"
The Wookiee growls affirmatively and steps out from his corner of the room, glancing Han over.
[What happened?]
"I," he starts, his voice dropping to a strained whisper, "I don't want to talk about it."
Chewbacca cocks his head, trying to imagine what his friend's been subjected to.
"I feel terrible," he hears Han moan, and makes a brisk move towards him before he falls to the ground. The Wookiee presses a small, red button, causing a stone slab to appear from the wall. He lays him down, trying to be as gentle as his giant, clumsy frame will allow.
[Where's the Princess?] he asks, and even through his garbled noises, Han can sense Chewbacca's fear.
"I don't know, pal," he admits, wincing as a shudder rips through his body. His entire being aches and he feels as if his nerves have been set on fire.
Startled, Han jumps when he hears the Wookiee let out a loud, agonizing noise.
"You two, come with me," an officer demands after he throws open the door, Chewbacca's distraught cries still bouncing off the walls.
"Back so soon?" Han asks coolly, trying to mask his fear.
The officer doesn't answer, but rather summons a handful of Stormtroopers in to handle the prisoners.
"Lord Vader is expecting you," one of the men tells Han, yanking his hands behind the smuggler's back.
"What, didn't have enough fun with me the first time?"
[Enough] Chewbacca utters, warning his friend. [Don't antagonize them. It could make things worse]
"I don't even want to think about how this could be worse," he responds, swallowing hard, and he swears he hears a guard mutter "You'll find out soon enough."
They're led through the winding halls before reaching a heavy, code-locked door. Han manages to keep his gaze forward while an officer presses his hand to the screen, unlocking the door with a hiss.
[Princess] Chewbacca sighs, causing Han's shoulders to sag with relief.
She's okay, he thinks to himself.
The petite girl wrenches herself out of the grip of her captors, and runs over to her friends. She places both hands on either side of Han's face, and her eyes search his. She can see the torment and pain lingering in his gaze. Her lips quiver, taking him in. He looks like hell- it breaks her heart to see him like this: so helpless, defenseless.
"That's enough," a trooper orders, giving Han a rough shove. He stumbles out of Leia's grip, and collapses on the hard floor with a moan.
"Han!" she yells, running to his side. She smooths a hand over his clammy forehead, and swears she sees tears starting to form in his eyes. "Why are they doing this?" she asks, her voice mangled.
He looks past her and stares up at the ceiling, still dazed from his sudden collision with the floor. "They never even asked me any questions," he tells her, and she feels her stomach lurch. The tears threaten to fall when she hears the agony in his voice. She can almost feel it.
"Get up," an officer snarls, all but ripping Han from Leia's hands. She reaches out, stumbling to get to her feet, when she feels Chewbacca's arm pull her up.
[He's going to be okay] he tries to reassure her, and she wishes she had Han to translate for her. She notices him grimace, shaking his head. "I don't know this time, pal."
Her knees feel weak, and she staggers backwards into the Wookiee. He places a large, furry paw on her head in an effort to calm her down. Her entire being begins to shake as fear courses through her.
This is it, she thinks. They're going to kill him. Right here, in front of me.
Her knees buckle at the thought and she feels Chewbacca's arm tighten around her, doing his best to keep her upright.
Han feels his heart shatter, seeing her so distraught. The once feisty, cool and collected princess is now all but reduced to a puddle in front of him, and he feels wholly responsible.
"You have to take care of her," he manages to get out, and Leia realizes he's talking to Chewbacca.
She starts to shake her head, not being able to find the words to assure him that he's going to live, despite her own doubts. She needs to be strong, for him.
She jumps when she hears Chewbacca growl fiercely, protectively. [You have my word] he promises Han, realizing now that his best friend really, truly, may not be okay.
Han feels a sharp tug from behind him, and grunts as he's forced backwards and onto a platform. His eyes widen with fear when he feels it shake, before ever so slowly lowering him to his fate.
Leia readjusts her grip onto the Wookiee, fearful of collapse. She can't show anymore weakness. Not right now. She watches as his feet disappear below the floor's surface, and flinches at the long hiss emitted from whatever apparatus awaits him below.
"I love you," she tells him so fiercely, Han flinches.
"I know," he answers with equal tenacity, trying to remain strong for his princess. But it's so damn difficult. He watches her face contort with a pain he's never before seen in her, and her eyes are red, glossy with tears. In an attempt to cheer her up, he flashes her favorite lopsided smile.
But it doesn't help.
She feels breathless as she watches his shoulders dip below the floor, engulfed in the cool mist that's now spreading throughout the room. Her heart races, her pulse pounding in her ears with such force her entire being thrums with the rhythm. The tears start to fall as he disappears, and she turns, still clinging onto Chewbacca. His tall frame vibrates with the tiny Princess's sobs when her resolve dissolves completely. He tries to soothe her, but it's no use, and her cries only grow louder when he lets out an agonized yell.
The machine lets out a hiss, whining in protest as it lifts Han, completely encased in carbonite, back above ground.
"Is he alive?" an officer asks and Leia bristles when she hears Lando answer "Yes, he's alive. And in perfect hibernation."
"Traitor," she spits, but her words go unheard, muffled by both her sobs and Chewbacca's fur. She feels his paw lightly tap her shoulder, prompting her to take in what Lando said.
He's alive, she tells herself. He's alive.
But he isn't okay. He's far from it. Her eyes well with fresh tears, seeing the terror in Han's expression. Even through his carbonite encasing, she can see his fear, and she can't stand it. His hands put up as if to surrender or brace himself for whatever the hell else he faced down there, she's not sure.
"Release him," Vader orders, and she watches as he's slammed carelessly onto the ground. The resulting sound causes her head to spin, and she wants nothing more than to go over to him. To comfort him, talk to him. Would he even be able to hear her? She doesn't know. But she wants to be there for him. She has to.
"What did he ever do to you?" she yells, startled by her own rage, her body wracked with pent up angry sobs.
Surely she must've missed something. She's just as guilty as Han, being a part of the Rebellion. So is her other friends, and fellow members.
She shudders when Vader laughs and mocks her in his monotone, mechanical voice. "What did he ever do to you?"
She bites her tongue so hard, fighting the urge to retaliate, that she can taste the blood. Her eyes burn with tears and she knows that he must be smiling underneath his helmet.
But he ignores her question.
"Reset the machine for Skywalker," he orders, and is met with an echo of 'yes, m'Lord's.'
"Luke?" she gasps, startled.
"Take the princess and the Wookiee to my ship."
Her throat constricts with fear, and she blanches at the satisfied grins of the lustful officers.
Not again, she thinks. Please, not again. I can't survive this again.
[I won't let anything happen to you] Chewbacca tries to assure her, but he knows it's useless. Without Han, she won't understand him. So he wraps his arms around her, hoping his message is clear. He growls, low and guttural, when a trooper approaches Leia. While he doesn't understand completely, the Wookiee can piece together what is waiting for his small friend aboard the Empire's ship. Upon returning from Yavin, Chewbacca became extremely worried about her. How she seemed to just…disappear. Completely. It was like watching a ghost and, afraid, he approached Han. He would have never been able to guess what she had been subjected to. It was so rare in Wookiee culture, and if it did happen, it was met with swift and harsh, if not fatal, punishment.
Leia clings onto his fur, out of lack of stability and fear of a possible outburst from the Wookiee.
[They will not touch you. I'll be sure of it]
"Escort them to the ship," Vader orders, and Leia panics as she feels an officer pry her away from Chewbacca. She takes one last look at Han, and is stricken with a new wave of grief.
"I love you," she whispers, before being pulled outside. She can't stop the tears from falling and she doesn't know how she has any left.
[I promise, Princess] she hears Chewbacca growl from behind her. She has no idea what he's said, but she finds something comforting about his tone.
"Head down."
She flinches when she feels the officer grip the back of her neck, digging his fingers deeper and deeper into her skin. She tries to steady her shallow, rapid breathing, the flashbacks pummeling her relentlessly. The tight grip from behind, the voice, the snarls. She can't take it. She has no one to comfort her, and she's angry. She's never had to rely on others in the past for relief or comfort. Her chest aches, her mind reeling with the fresh image of her handsome smuggler, fearful, forced into hibernation in his carbonite prison.
Chewbacca growls, and she's startled by his ferociousness. Only one thing could cause such a sound right now.
"Han!" she yells, watching as his petrified being is transported past her. She doubts he can hear her, but she still tries anyway, hoping-praying- that her voice will strike him, even in his deep hibernation.
Leia's voice is hoarse. She doesn't know how she even has one left. She doesn't know how she can even find the strength to speak, completely overcome with terror, and with pain.
"Where are you taking him?" she demands, her voice cracking.
But she's left without an answer.
[Answer her] Chewbacca spits, but it falls on deaf ears. No one can understand his words.
Her feet nearly give out from underneath her when the Imperials, surrounding the carbon slab, branch off and split from her and the Wookiee.
She screams his name again, but she knows it's useless. He can't hear her. Even if he could, he's helpless.
Defenseless.
"That's quite enough histrionics, Princess," one of the officers threatens, giving her a shove. She's trying to stall, to catch one last look of her scoundrel. The last time, she knows, she'll ever see him.
She whimpers, choking back tears as she watches him being loaded onto a separate ship. His destination, and his fate, unknown, she's stricken with an incomparable sadness.
"Han."
She gasps when the officer causes her to halt, spinning her to face the window, peering out to the ominously black sky. She can't take it, watching as the craft's ramp draws shut. The engines roar to life, and she's crushed. She blinks ever so slowly in an attempt to quell the tears and hoping that, by some miracle, upon opening her eyes, Han will be standing in front of her, free from his carbonite hell. Their shared hell.
Leia feels she may as well be trapped alongside him, unable to neither breathe nor move. And she is trapped, in a different way. Trapped by the crushing weight of uncertainty, loneliness, and grief. She can't fight anymore-she doesn't have it in her. Every ounce of adrenaline, will and determination seems to have evaporated, and she's left a ghost of herself. She tries to channel her feelings of betrayal, her hatred of Lando, but it's useless. She can't muster up the energy nor the courage to even attempt to rebel. She releases a shaky breath and starts to cry to herself, for what feels like the millionth time. Her lips quiver as she tries to find the words to say. It's beyond difficult, but she succeeds, and she prays that by some miracle, by some way of the Force, Han can hear her when she whispers
"I love you."