The Russian lives out of the raging blizzard in the dead of night.
The ravenous blood crazed nation searches for its comrades~
Through the blinding white it lurches driven by madness itself;
Only the satisfaction of slaughter will cause it to return
to mother Russia from which it came.
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~
Lithuania and Latvia, it's nighty night time;
Estonia has a nursery rhythm.
It's about the big bad Russian man!
Keep your light on as long as you can
'Cause when it cuts off so does your head.
Mr. Russia waits under your bed with a
shank! spla! up through the bottom.
'Little Latvia Latvia' got him~
It's the one and only Mr. Russia!
He creeps, he hides, he sneeks, he slides…
If your little feetsies are hanging off the edge of the bed
You're running on stumps shit face!
Moon light fills the room that you sleep and things go bump
in the night and creepin'…
"Ah, kolkol! I stubbed my toe, it's because you left your shit
all over the floor~ vell, you're dead anyway and I vill
leave your head smack dead in the hallway, da ~
In the morning when Estonia valks out –" 'GAH!' his foot's in
your mouth thanks to Mr. Russia~
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (here comes Mr. Russia)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for Mr. Russia)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)
'Does Mr. Russia really exist?'
"Vell, is America a whiny, fat pig?
Yes. You fall asleep and vake up dead with a faucet pipe sticking
out of your skull.
I hum 'til you stop shaking, tie you down and splatter your blood, da~
And then let you free, hah hah!
Clean this mess, da?"
The world's biggest nation will come to you.
Slumber parties, sleep overs, intimate nights –
Whatever the occasion for the midnight hour he will
gladly come and drive horror through your heart~
"I don't beat vomen, da~ If I vant, I vill bash her head in and think nothing of it~"
You didn't know Mr. Russia was a killer but when you see
the nation holding your skull -
swing, chop, stab, swing, chop you're holding your heart together but
your nuts drop
And the G8 does the best they can, they pull the ax out your face and say
'Was it the commie bastard?'
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (what was he wearing?)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol ~)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for the Russian man)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)
'Please don't let my fall asleep, because Mr. Russia will creep through my window in my room, stab me with a faucet pipe. Please don't let me fall asleep, because Mr. Russia will creep through my window in my room sta...' KOL KOLKOL KOLKOL!
It's the incredible undefeatable Russian man!
Go ahead pull the covers over your head –
Hide under them – he doesn't really care.
It'll just makes it that much more easier for him to suffocate you, da~
"There are three vays to stop me from doing vat I do, da~ vat you think I vill tell you?"
'Mom could you leave the door open a bit?'
"Thanks, an easy vay in, you stupid shit~ now I stretch your neck out and play it like a violin, da~ .. Duuuh daah duuh… You like that, da? Then I stretch it more and fling your head through the vall. Call me Mr. Russia, da~"
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (here comes Mr. Russia)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for Mr. Russia)
Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)
The song is Boogie Woogie Wu by Insane Clown Posse. It has been refined to fit Russia! I give credit to themagnificentME because it was her idea to do the song fics and she supplied me with the songs, so~ THREE CHEERS FOR themagnificentME! YAY~! Presumably, there will be four chapters, but I'm not completely sure... I'll give it a shot, though!