She woke easily, having barely slept through the night. Beside her, Donny slept soundly; his snoring cutting into the peacefulness. How was it possible that he had no idea what was happening? That in the past twelve hours, her feelings for him had changed dramatically? Even she didn't understand it.
But things were very different now than they had been just yesterday. Most likely Donny didn't have a clue that anything at all had changed. She'd done a brilliant job of hiding it. Yet, the tears on her pillowcase spoke volumes. If only he would listen. Here it was, the morning of her wedding, and she'd never felt so alone.
Over and over her mind replayed the scene on the balcony as though it were the climactic moment of a romantic movie or a romance novel. A scene in which the couple secretly in love with one another finally came together to reveal the truth. And yet, as much as the heroine loved the hero, she knew that she had to do the right thing. She'd made a promise to the man who had, in turn, promised her the stars.
But it wasn't a romantic movie or even a romance novel. It was real life.
Last night, a very handsome and wonderful man; her boss' brother, her best friend, had finally confessed what she already knew. He was in love with her. He'd promised to leave his wife, whom he'd married because the woman he truly loved had pledged her love to another in order for them to be together.
Unable to deny her feelings, she'd kissed him under a moonlit sky, interrupting his conversation about night-blooming jasmine. This man was always there for her, never asking for anything in return-except for her heart. And yet, she'd rejected him, choosing the man who had promised her the stars. But in fact, he would have done that; promised her the stars. He would have given her an entire galaxy, if only she had let him.
As she'd done last night, she wondered what he was doing now. Was he sleeping, or lying in his bed awake, as she was doing now? Was he thinking of her and wishing that he hadn't said anything at all? Was he angry? Was he crying softly onto his pillow, praying that his wife didn't notice? For surely if she were to see a grown man crying, her reaction would only serve to upset him further. And then he would have to explain… Or was he holding his wife in his arms? Were they making love and dreaming of the married life that was just beginning?
Tears spilled onto her pillow and she pressed her face into it, trying to keep from sniffling. The noise would surely wake Donny and she didn't feel like explaining her sadness to him. She wasn't sure that she could.
She rose from the bed and pulled the plush terry cloth robe around her shoulders. It was barely 4am, but in the month of May, the sun rose early in the state of Washington. As quietly as possible, she shoved her feet into the white terry cloth slippers that sat neatly on the floor and walked across the room to the balcony doors. Through the window, she could see the sun peeking just over the horizon; not a cloud in the sky. It was going to be a beautiful day for a wedding.
Her heart jarred in her chest and she pressed her fingers against it, as though doing so would make the pain go away. But she knew that there was only one way to quell it. Her trembling fingers turned the knob and she pulled the French door open. Stepping out onto the balcony, she closed the door behind her, but left it ajar. And that small, insignificant movement gave her a strange feeling of freedom.
Freedom…
Never in her life did she think she would associate that word with her wedding day. It was wrong on so many levels. She should happy; blissful even. But instead she was racked with guilt and confusion. She wanted to rid herself of this feeling and there was only one way to make that happen. Silently she prayed that things would go according to plan.
She slipped back into the room and grabbed her clothes, taking them into the spacious bathroom. Within minutes she had changed into a pair of jeans and a lightweight sweater.
She scribbled a quick note to Donny; Gone out for a while. Love, Daphne (What more could she say?), and then quietly left the room. With any luck, he would still be asleep when she returned, saving her from the immediate task of having to explain why she no longer felt the same way about him… and she knew that she never would.