Blinded By Silence
By Annette Polini
Chapter One
The summer sun beat down on the newly remodeled GMajor. The fresh paint glistened in the sun's rays as the slightly cooling breeze dried it. People bustled up and down the streets walking thoughtfully to their busy destination.
Mr. Thomas Quincey stood stock still outside of the remodeled building. He'd been gone for three years, with no communication to anyone in Toronto. The whole time he was gone, he yearned to pick up the phone and call Jude, but he knew he couldn't. He was there, in Havre, Montana, for one reason.
He put his hand on the door and froze again. What's going to happen? He thought, How are they going to react? What's Jude going to say? Oh God, Jude! Tommy let go of the handle and sighed as he ran a hand through his dark brown hair. His deep blue eyes were filled with worry and hope.
He grabbed the handle again and pulled open the door. As he walked into the lobby, he couldn't find anyone.
"Where are they?" he asked aloud.
"Looking for someone, Quincey?" Came a familiar voice from behind him.
Tommy spun around startled. He found that standing four feet in front of him was none other than Georgia Bevans. Georgia was Tommy's first producer, and then his first boss when he himself became a producer, after being in a boy band called BoyzAttack.
"Georgia, what are you doing here? I thought you left after Darius bought GMajor." Tommy said.
"I bought it back." She stated. Walking to her office. "Come with me Mr. Quincey, you have some explaining to do."
Feeling ashamed, Tommy slowly trudged after Georgia. Just as he reached the door, he heard a noise. He turned his head to find where it came from, and tripped through the doorway to the office.
Georgia stopped, "Once you regain your composure and dignity, Mr. Quincey, sit." Tommy sat down, glancing at his surroundings. As soon as he settled into the chair, he looked Georgia straight in the eye.
"So, what do you want to know?" he asked calmly.
"Where did you go three years ago?" She forced harshly, tapping a pen on her desk.
Jude Harrison sat at her kitchen table trying to compose another song. She had reached a writer's block. She was passing the time until Sadie, her sister, came home. Sadie was going to take Jude to the mall to buy Jude an outfit for Jude's 21st birthday.
"Let me rise." She sang. "Let me fall. Let me breathe. I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all."
Jude paused, she couldn't concentrate knowing her 21st birthday was only a few days away. I can do so many things, Jude smiled, I can go anywhere. I can finally drink legally. She giggled.
Just as Jude looked back down at her notebook, she heard Sadie's Volkswagen Beetle come up the driveway. Jude closed her notebook and put it in her bag.
Jude walked into the living room and waited for Sadie to come in. She thought of all the possible outfits she could buy. She'd been waiting all year for this.
"Jude I'm home!" came Sadie's voice from the hallway.
"Hey, Sades. I'm in here." She replied cheerfully.
Sadie came stumbling into the room. Jude noticed a liquor bottle in her hand, horribly hidden.
"Sadie, you…you've been drinking?" Jude asked cautiously.
"Nah!" Sadie exclaimed. "I haven't been drinking. I'm, uh, experimenting."
"Sades," Jude said, trying to get her attention, "Sadie, I've known you all my life. So, I KNOW for a fact that this is NOT an experiment. What happened today?"
"Nothing. Nothing happened. Can we drop this?" she asked, obviously annoyed.
"Sure. OK, I'll drop it." But Jude knew there was more, Sadie never drank anything alcoholic in her life. Why would she start now?
"Good. Now let's go." Sadie hiccupped. "We have some shopping to do."
Jude jumped, she knew she couldn't go shopping with a sister that was as smashed as Sadie.
"Sadie we're not going anywhere until you're sober." She whispered, not wishing to make Sadie even madder.
"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Sadie spat, frowning.
"No, you're not. Stay home. I'll be at GMajor. I'm taking our keys, your spare set, and your purse so you can't drive." Jude said on her way past Sadie heading for the door.
"JUDITH MARIE HARRISON! IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR WITH MY KEYS AND MY PURSE, CONSIDER YOURSELF LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE TONIGHT!" Sadie shouted at Jude's back.
"Well then Sadie," Jude said coolly, looking back at her sister, "I can always stay over at Kat's house tonight. See you tomorrow."
Jude grabbed her keys and her backpack, along with her sister's things, and walked out the front door.
"Boy it's going to be a long night for her." Jude mumbled while walking to her Chevy truck.
"And that's where you've been this whole time Tommy?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Tommy replied.
"Why didn't you call Darius when you left? Or Jude? Do you know what you've done when you left?"
"I couldn't call. I can't tell you why…I…I just couldn't. How is Jude?"
"She's fine now, but when you left, she stopped writing songs for a month or so. Then she got back on her feet and started writing killer songs again."
"Wow…" Tommy breathed.
"Yeah wow. We're all just happy that she hasn't stopped writing again."
"Yeah, me too. Uh, Georgia? Is my old position still here?" He stuttered with anticipation.
"It is Tommy, but it's not with Jude anymore. So you have some time to yourself because we have no free agents at the moment."
"OK. Well I'm going to go to my studio. If you need me, I'll be there."
Jude rolled down the window and let the warm summer wind whip through her hair and warm her face.
The radio was spitting out commercials about Cinema World. Jude impatiently taped the steering wheel, waiting for a song to begin. As she came to a stop at a red light, Jude tried to figure out why Sadie had been drinking.
And now, began the announcer on the radio, a new song by our rising pop star, Jude Harrison.
As Jude heard her own voice fill the truck, she groaned. She loved writing these songs, but she hated hearing them come out of her speakers. Just as the light turned green, Jude changed the station. She relaxed and let out a smooth deep sigh as she heard Panic! At The Disco pump through her sound system.
As Jude neared the parking lot to GMajor, she saw an old memory sitting in the lot. The old viper. The one she drove for the first time when she turned 16. Jude gasped, she shook her head a couple times to shake the dream from her head. When she looked back to that spot, the car was still there.
Jude parked her truck in her usual spot next to the trail that lead to the lake.
She took a couple deep breaths as she took her keys out of the ignition. She grabbed her bag and guitar and headed to the building.
Tommy sat in front of his soundboard listening to Jude's new CD. He mentally slapped himself for leaving and missing anything that could possibly have happened when he was gone.
He already missed three of Jude's birthday's, and her release party. He wasn't going to miss this next birthday. It was too big. Jude was turning 21.
Tommy remembered when he first met Jude. She was 16. She had just won the Instant Star contest. Bright, freshly dyed red hair, blazing green eyes, a smile that was infectious, and the attitude that said, "My name's Jude Harrison, and if you don't stay out of my way, I'll kick your ass."
Tommy knew, the instant he saw her, she had the potential to rise to the top. And she did, over and over again.
Tommy closed his eyes and leaned back. He ran his hands through his hair a couple times, and let out a long deep sigh.
"What am I going to do?"
As Jude walked through the lobby, looking for that familiar face she hadn't seen in three years. That dark brown hair, those deep blue eyes, and his charming smile.
Jude pulled down the bottom of her white tank-top of her favorite faded blue jeans, and converse sneakers. She pulled her natural blonde hair up into a ponytail and continued to look around for Tommy.
"Jude!" called Georgia from her office. "Can you come in here for a minute?"
Jude groaned, this was the last thing she wanted, was to be in the same room as Georgia. When Georgia came back, she was stricter than before, and it put everyone on edge.
Jude tentatively walked into the office and sat down.
"How's the new song coming?" Georgia asked pleasantly, surprising Jude, with an unusually happy grin on her face.
"Well, I've hit a slight writer's block, but other than that, it's coming along great." Jude cautiously worded.
"Good! That's very good. That's all I wanted to ask. You may go now. Have a nice day." Georgia grinned.
"You too." Jude replied as she escaped the office.
As she headed to her usual studio, where Kwest was, she noticed a light on in Studio B. Curious, Jude walked to the glass door and stopped short. There he was, Thomas Aaron Quincey. Live and in the flesh.
Instead of feeling the shock, surprise, and joy she WANTED to feel, she felt anger, pain, and hate towards Tommy.
Jude opened the door slowly as to not make any noise.
Tommy sat back up and went to change the track.
"Never thought you'd come back Quincey." Came a voice from behind him.
Surprised, Tommy spun around in his chair to find Jude standing in the doorway. They stared at each other for a couple minutes. Neither of them said a word.
When the silence finally became too loud for them to bear, Tommy spoke first.
"Hey, Jude."
"Hey." Jude whispered.
Tommy's brain screamed at his body to move. But his muscles wouldn't listen. He struggled and fought with himself to get out of the chair. He slowly and hesitantly walked over, and stood in front of Jude.
"How have you been?"
"I've been fine." Jude replied in monotone with a blank expression.
"I missed you." Tommy ventured cautiously.
"Yeah," Jude replied tautly, "sure you did."
Jude spun on her heel and briskly walked to her studio, free strands of hair flying.
Defeated, Tommy slumped back to his chair. He slowly fell into the seat with remorse.
God, I blew it. He thought.
Kwest looked up from his work as Jude walked in.
"Hey sunshine." Kwest joked.
"Don't start Kwest." Jude mumbled.
Kwest frowned, he's only seen Jude this mad once before, and that was because of Tommy.
"What's wrong Jude? What happened?" he asked.
"Tommy, Kwest. Tommy happened. He's over in Studio B." Jude started, silent tears running down her face. "He thinks that he can just waltz back in after three years and everything will be ok? Well he's wrong. I'm done. I'm done with the pain, and I'm done with him." Jude resolved rationally, while wiping the tears from her face.
"So Tommy's back?" Kwest asked standing up.
Jude opened her mouth to yell at Kwest for not listening, she thought better of it and instead she calmly replied, "Yeah, Studio B." Pointing in the direction.
Kwest put his hand on Jude's shoulder as he walked by. He had to see this for himself.
As Kwest got closer to the door, his belief that Tommy had come back slowly dissipated. When he reached the door and saw Tommy sitting at his soundboard turning knobs and flipping switches. He seemed to be working, but Kwest knew he wasn't doing anything. Especially now. He doesn't have any clients, so what would he be working on?
"You have quite the nerve to be coming back Tom." Kwest spoke.
"Yeah I know." Tommy replied, not turning around.
"Then why are you here? Why did you come back?" Kwest pushed.
"I had to come back Kwest…I had to. I have no reason." Tommy said, spinning in his chair to face Kwest.
"There is a reason, but knowing you Tommy, all my life, you never told me what the reason was until AFTER you finished your 'job'."
Tommy sighed and stood up, and walked over to the wall of photographs. Then studied one of him, Jude, Kwest, and Sadie. It was a week before he left when it was taken. He remembered the party they had that night. Jude had turned 17.
"Trust me Kwest," Tommy started quietly, "I've changed. This time…this time there is no reason. I just…came back."
Kwest studied Tommy for a minute, deciding whether or not he was telling the truth. He's known Tommy since they were in diapers. He knew when Tommy was lying. But, he could tell, something WAS different about Tommy. He just couldn't figure out what.
"OK. Well, it's nice having you back. So," Kwest said, turning Tommy around and shaking his hand, "Welcome back."
Tommy smiled, "Thanks man."
Jude pulled her notebook open furiously. She opened to her writer's blocked song. Jude stared at the notebook, but not thinking about the song. She thought about Tommy. Rage filled her veins, and she fumed. She couldn't believe that Tommy had come back after three years of no contact. She couldn't understand why he left in the first place. Quite frankly, she didn't care anymore. All she knew now was that she was over him.
When she finally focused on her notebook, the words filled the page, mentally. She gasped as she figured out the rest of the song, she quickly wrote down the words before they vanished from her conscience.
When he finished, she smiled as she read over her completed song. She stood up and grabbed her guitar as she walked over to the recording booth.
"Kwest get your butt in here NOW!" She called excitedly.
Within a minute, Kwest came trotting into the studio.
"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.
"Nothing, just that I finished my song. So sit down at the board and let's do this." She said cheerfully.
"OK." Kwest laughed.
Jude walked into the recording booth and shut the door behind her. She put down her notebook and guitar and set up the microphone and stand. When all was set up, she strapped her guitar around her shoulder and gave Kwest the thumbs up as she put on her headphones.
Kwest spoke through her headphones, "Ready when you are Jude."
Jude strummed her guitar and found the right chord. She started quietly and slowly grew louder.
I feel chained, chained down
You shoved me to the ground
I can't run, I can't shout
Just let me out
So heartless, this couldn't mean less
Gonna push it in your face
I'm only human
And I've got something to say
Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I will get back up again if you let me fall
If I burn down in this fire
Well, I've got myself to blame
I can't stop or give it up
I need to feel the pain
Can you hear me?
Don't come near me
You'll just get in my way
I'm only human
And there's nothing you can say
Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall
You say you know who I am
And what I'm about
Then you'll understand I gotta fell alone
And live my own life
Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall
If you let me fall
I will get up again
If you let me fall
Jude pulled off her headphones as her last chord rang through the speakers in the main studio. She sighed as she thought how good it sounded.
Tommy closed his eyes, Is this how she feels? He pushed himself off the wall and walked back to his studio. He had some thinking to do.
Jude stepped out of the recording booth beaming. She had nailed another song. Georgia was going to be pleased.
"So how'd I do?" She asked, anticipating the congratulatory answer she was expecting.
"Uh, Jude? Don't you think that was a little harsh? I mean, don't get me wrong, the song was rockin'. But don't you think it was a little…out there?" He questioned.
"What are you talking about? If you're thinking this is about Tommy, you're sadly mistaken. I had been working on this long before Tommy came. I just got over the snag of a writer's block I've had for a while." Jude explained.
"How long have you had this writer's block?"
"Uh, well…Is this really necessary for you to be grilling me? I mean, I JUST finished a killer song! Can't we leave it at that?"
"Jude, how LONG was your writer's block?" Kwest forced, he knew the answer, but he wanted it to come from Jude, he wanted her to realize, she's not really over Tommy.
"FINE!" Jude exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "A few days. OK? Is that better? Happy now?"
"Much, you can take a break, I'll mix the song." He said as he threw on his headphones and started playing with beats.
Jude sighed and walked out into the lobby in the direction of the kitchen. As soon as she reached halfway into the lobby she stopped. She realized what Kwest had just done and spun around on her heel and marched back to the studio. Her arms swayed rapidly at her sides as she walked back. She grabbed the door handle and threw open the door. She walked up to Kwest and ripped of his headphones and spun him around.
"Hey! What are you doing?!" He exclaimed.
"What was that all about? Why did you go and do that? You know exactly why I finished this song, and it's not because of Tommy. BUTT OUT OF MY LIFE! You're my friend Kwest, but when it comes to things like these, STAY OUT! It's personal." She shouted.
"Fine, but you should know, you did this to yourself. It's not like I came up with a plan or anything." Kwest reasoned.
Jude opened and shut her mouth. She didn't know what to say. She knew Kwest was right.
"I'm sorry Kwest, I didn't mean to yell at you." She whispered, ashamed.
"It's ok. Go take your break, and let me work." He said, then chuckled. "Hey, smile. It's ok. You didn't know."
Jude smirked, she had to start thinking. She always seemed to act first.
Tommy went to search for Jude. They had to talk. He had to find out why Jude was acting so upset. He thought she'd be happy that he was back. He needed to talk to her. He WANTED to talk to her. She was his support, and he was hers.
He walked out of his studio into the lobby. He looked around, in the corner of is eye he saw a flash of blonde hair round the corner to the kitchen. He started off in that direction. When he reached the doorway, he stopped and watched Jude search for a bottle of water in the refrigerator.
"We need to talk Jude. You can't deny that fact." Tommy finally spoke.
"WE don't need to do anything. I'M going back to work after I find a stupid water bottle in the stupid fridge." Jude replied without turning from the refrigerator.
"Bottom shelf on the left in the back." He helped.
Jude grabbed a bottle and shut the fridge. "Thanks." She mumbled and tried to walk past him. Tommy lightly grabbed her shoulder and stopped her from moving past.
"We NEED to talk Jude."
"I don't have anything to say to you. So let me go." She said, staring in the direction of the lobby and not at Tommy.
"No. Not until after we talk."
Jude looked at Tommy. "Fine. We'll talk."
"Good," He began, "Why aren't you talking to me? Why are you so mad?"
"OK…" Jude backed up and sat on one of the kitchen stools. "You want to know why I'm not talking and why I'm SO mad? Well, it's because I don't' care anymore Tommy."
Tommy frowned. "Care to elaborate?"
"Sure. I don't care anymore. I don't care where you went. I don't care WHY you left. I don't care about what you had to do. And I least of all care about YOU Tommy. I've stopped caring. I'm all done. I'm done falling for you and getting hurt because you don't fall back. I'm sick of the pain. I'm done, Tommy. DONE."
"Jude wait…can't we just get over this? I mean, can't we forget about this little problem? I'm back…can't we go back to the way things were before I left?"
"No, we can't. You can try, but I refuse to. Not anymore…"
Jude jumped off the stool and ran past a shocked and confused Tommy. She ran to her truck and drove home. She needed to take care of Sadie right now. She can deal with her problems later.
Sadie was passed out on the living room couch when Jude got home. Jude noticed Sadie was out cold more because she was tire, not because she was she was drunk.
"Sadie, wake up. Can we talk?" Jude shook her shoulder lightly.
"Mmmm…" Sadie moaned, sitting up. "Sure…sit here…" She pat the seat next to her. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Sadie," Jude said, sitting down, "Why were you drunk earlier today?"
"Oh, well…Jude…I was kicked out of college."
"What?!" Jude asked shocked. "What happened? What went wrong?"
Sadie shifted nervously in her seat, "Well…I wasn't doing too well. I failed a couple courses…"
"Oh Sadie…so that's why you were drunk?"
"Yeah…" She answered humiliated, then she chuckled, "It's a funny thing though, most people get drunk being IN college, not getting kicked OUT."
"Well, THAT'S LIFE I guess…C'est La Vie." Jude laughed.
"Yeah," Sadie joined in her laughter. "C'est La Vie."
The two sisters hugged each other and laughed for a few minutes. They both knew that no matter what happens, they will always have each other.
The next morning Jude woke up at 8:30. She sat in her bed, contemplating all that had happened the day before. She sighed and turned to face the window as she watched the light clouds pass by.
Why would he come back? She thought Especially now.
She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air coming through the window.
When she opened her eyes she rolled over and got out of bed. She walked over to her dresser and looked at herself in the mirror.
Circles had formed under her eyes. Her eyes were foggy and unfocused. Her hair was greasy and in knots, and her makeup was smudged from crying herself to sleep.
She opened a couple drawers and grabbed her clothes for the day. They consisted of a tight fitting AC/DC tank-top, snug jeans with a hole in the right knee, and her converse sneakers.
She walked into her connected bathroom. She turned on the shower. She undressed and stepped in. As she washed her hair, flashes of old memories of her and Tommy came to her mind.
"I'm tired of falling for guys who don't fall back…it hurts. Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I can fix it."
Jude's 16th birthday. Shay had just broken up with her for Eden. She and Tommy were in the pouring rain behind GMajor.
"You are asking the wrong guy."
Tommy's lips crashed into hers.
Jude shook her head of the thoughts and finished her shower. 10 minutes later, she trudged down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. When she walked through the door way, she became surprised to find Sadie was up.
"Hey, Sadie." Jude said.
"'Morning." Sadie replied. "Off to the studio again?"
"I…I don't think I'm going to go today."
"Why not?" Sadie asked patting the chair next to her.
Jude sat down after grabbing a pop tart and some orange juice. She sat quietly for a minute before answering.
"Tommy's back." She replied.
Jude heard Sadie gasp.
"When did he come back?" she questioned.
"Yesterday." Jude answered. "I saw him in his studio. Before I came home yesterday. He cornered me in the kitchen. He wanted me to forgive him. He asked if we could forget all that happened when he left."
"What did you say?" Sadie asked.
"I said no. I'm tired of getting my heart broken. I'm done. I told him that."
"What did he say?"
"I don't know, I left before he could say anything. Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about what he has to say." Jude spat.
"Jude, I'm so sorry. If I hadn't been drunk, we would have been at the mall, and you wouldn't have had to hear that."
"If not yesterday, Sadie, then today, or some other day. It's inevitable. I would have had to face him sometime."
"Well," Sadie started, "Speaking of the mall, we still have some shopping to do."
"Jude smiled. "Yes, we do." She frowned, "I have to go to the studio first. To at least check in with Georgia and Kwest."
Sadie nodded and stood up. "OK." She put her dishes in the sink.
"OK." Jude said. "We'll meet in the food court at 1."
Sadie giggled. "See you there."
Jude walked out of the room and flipped open her cell phone.
Tommy walked into his studio to find Georgia sitting in his chair, open cell phone in hand.
"'Morning G. Can I help you?"
"As a matter of fact," She stood up, "You can. Stay away from my star client. You upset her. I won't tolerate that."
"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything to upset her."
"Apparently you did. I just got a call from her asking me to tell you to back off."
"This is crazy Georgia. All I did was ask her how she was."
"I heard that. But I also heard that you said other things, like you trying to force her to forgive you. Not even one day and you move to make amends. You can't back off. You always have to be on the offensive don't you?"
"Georgia, it's not like that, it…"
"Stop Quincey." She cut in, holding up a hand. "You're already on thin ice with me. Don't sink yourself this soon."
Tommy bowed his head. He knew she was right. He knew that he should have waited until Jude was ready, he moved too fast.
Georgia nodded her head and left the studio, heading back to her office.
Tommy sighed, he lost some friends, and gained enemies. Mainly Jude.