Baby Steps
So, this was originally meant to be something light and fluffy, and I do not know what happened… But it came from the heart and I wish I had the courage to tell my 'Zoe' what Max did in this :D
Reviews are candy floss to my heart...
Max decided quite quickly that he couldn't be just friends with Zoe. After Lofty's New Years resolutions video finished, and Max had thought a million times over that Zoe's one about acting her age wasn't directed at him. But deep down he knew it was aimed at him, how could it not have been. Max had wanted to go home straight after the clock chimed a new year. But since Cal was staying, he couldn't be the first to leave. Then Zoe would know that be couldn't be friends with her. So he stayed. He stayed and watch Zoe drink, sadly she had insisted that Dylan stay too and they were laughing and joking together. As max downed his pint, he wondered just what the hell Zoe could be laughing with Dylan about. Max couldn't deny that Zoe's laugh sent shivers down his spine and made every nerve in his body on fire but he was the one who wished he was making her laugh. The quiet moments when they used to be together when he would show sides of his true self, really open up to her something he wasn't used to doing with anyone, and now he knew he would never do it again. It hurt too much when that door shut.
"Double shot of whiskey please." He said to the man behind the bar. He would have this, or maybe another one and then he will go home and think about the year ahead. Fresh starts or some crap like that. He had his drink and downed it in one. His body felt so numb he didn't even feel the pleasure of the burn as it went down. He sighed angry with himself for feeling this way. He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on quickly and made a quick exit. Watching everyone else have fun hurt him inside. Why did Zoe effect him so much?
Outside was cold and he cherished it for a little moment before he reached in his jeans and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter. "You're leaving already?" Zoe's voice made him colder than he already was and he sighed, turning around he looked at her. She looked beautiful as ever.
"Nothing for me to stay around for." He said honestly.
"Max..."
"I'm on early tomorrow. Someone's got to clean up drunken vomit tomorrow." He could hear the bitterness in his voice but he really didn't care.
"You're a great guy..."
"Just stop Zoe. It's too hard for me. I love you. I love everything there is about you, I had never done anything to show you otherwise. It's just you. So don't tell me I am a great guy because I know that I am. But you wouldn't let me be that for you." Be snapped.
"Max..."
"Happy new year Zoe. Maybe this year instead of being so caught up in your age maybe let your heart do the catching up." With that he walked away, tears spilling down his face and he just let them fall. The truth hurt, and maybe tomorrow he would regret it. He would go up to Zoe and apologise but right now he felt better. It was a tiny step in moving on.
Tomorrow he would see her, she would look amazing and he knew that tiny step he made would end up being three steps back, but it was a start. It was a new year. Maybe it could be a fresh start for him. He was tired of waiting for Zoe. He'll start with baby steps until he was ready to run into love again.