A/N: this is my first ever fic, so constructive criticism is appreciated!

Disclaimer: as much as I want to, I don't own CCS, if I did, Tomoyo and Sakura would snog every ep…

Chapter one.

I must tell her. This indescribable yearning, that eats away at my sundered heart with each passing moment, needs to be sated. Each time I look into her sparkling, emerald eyes, a smile begins to play on my pale lips, but is stifled by the realisation that she will never feel the same. How many times have I told her I love her? Too many, and yet in her innocence she mistakes my emotions. I cannot live like this. I must tell her.

"Tomoyo-chan!" I heard Sakura shout from along the pavement. I snapped out of my depressing reverie and plastered a kind smile on my face. The sight of my Sakura waving at me, so cheerfully, eased my sadness.

"Ohayo Gozaimasu, Sakura-chan!" I replied and smiled pleasantly at the auburn-haired girl, who was now taking her skates off.

"Tomoyo-chan, otou-san is out at a dig this weekend, and nee-san is going to Yukito's, so I was wondering if you could come over for a sleepover this weekend, pleeeaase?" the cute girl asked, holding my hands in her own, looking imploringly at me with those vibrant eyes of hers.

Sakura, I would journey to the end of the world and back, throw myself off a building, capture a star in my bare hands, if just to see your smile. I would suffer eternal pain if it made you happy. You don't just mean the world to me, you ARE my world. My food is your happiness, my drink you smile. Without you, I would be forever incomplete. I must tell you.

"I would love to, Sakura-chan. Mother is in America on business again, so if not for you I would be doomed to spend a lonely weekend alone." I responded politely, but my excited eyes and genuine smile betrayed my demure demeanour.

"Great, Tomoyo-chan! As soon as classes end today, you can go home and get your stuff, then come to mine at about 6 o'clock?" Sakura-chan squealed in delight holding our still linked hands into the air and pirouetting around.

"I would be honoured to, Sakura-chan!" I responded, doing my own little pirouette, feeling warm and fluttery inside.

This weekend, I will tell you, my Sakura. Lately, you seem down, because Li-kun left you for Meilin-san and returned to Hong Kong. But your happiness is all that matters. I wish to make you happy. Maybe, just maybe, I can make you smile like you used to. I will tell you, my love.

The day seemed to take forever. In every lesson we had, after the first 10 minutes, my eyes strayed to Sakura-chan. My hand wrote notes by itself, since my mind was preoccupied, solely concentrated on the girl sitting on my left. I found my self counting the seconds until the end of last period, anxious for the day to end.

When the home bell did indeed ring, you could have mistaken me for a blue blur speeding out of the door. Sprinting into the school carpark, I practically jumped into the black limo that awaited me and told my driver to step on it. As I arrived at the Daidouji mansion, the maids that lined up to greet me from school had to hold down their skirts to prevent the wind I left in my wake from exposing their panties.

Once I was up in my room, I trekked through the mountain of Sakura that plastered every aspect of it (including the floor, walls, roof and bed) to try and find what I should bring to a 2-day sleepover Sakura-chan's house. After choosing 3 sets of clean underwear, 2 tops, 2 skirts and a cardigan, I neatly folded them into a duffel bag and looked around for my camcorder. I couldn't go to Sakura's without that.

Hopefully, I can record my special moment with Sakura onto here, to immortalize it forever. That's why I videotape her after all, to fill the gaping hole in my heart whenever she's not around. My only wish is for her to be happy. I will understand if she doesn't love me that way I love her, but if I keep secrets from her, she may not be happy. And when she is unhappy, so am I. she is all I have. I must tell her.

As I waited outside Sakura-chan's house for her to answer the door, I felt the familiar flutter of nervous excitement in my stomach. If we could really be together, in that way, then I swore I would make Sakura-chan the happiest person in the world. No, the happiest person EVER.

"Tomoyo-chan!" the genki cheerleader smiled as she opened the door. "I'm so glad you could come! Come in, come in!"

"Doomo Arigato, Sakura-chan," I smiled as I stepped inside her home. It smelled of her in here… the smell of syrup and flowers, a familiar but intensely enjoyable scent. I breathed it in, closing my eyes and smiling happily, caught in a world of my own.

"T-Tomoyo-chan? Hello? Are you reading me?" came Sakura-chan's cute voice, sounding slightly amused. I snapped my eyes open and gave her an apologetic smile, following her up to her room, where her cute little guardian beast was playing a shoot 'em up game on Sakura's television.

"Sorry, Kero-chan, but you gotta go play that downstairs now. I'm sure Tomoyo-chan would prefer to have fun without the sound of shotguns in the background…" said the auburn-haired cardcaptor. Kero gave a short grunt and began to haul the video-game console downstairs, muttering about something under his breath.

I steeled my mind for what I was going to say. We've been friends since 3rd grade, and I've loved her for all that time. Yet I had never had the courage to say anything, and when I did let something slip, she regarded my love only as a sign of close friendship. Would confessing destroy our relationship completely? Would she be unhappy? Doubts play across my mind again, weakening my resolve. But I must dispel them. I must tell her, today. I will. I swear, I will. Kami be with me…

"Sakura-chan, I have something that I need to tell you." I whispered, using every ounce of my courage not to break down on the spot.

"Doshite, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura questioned, cocking her head slightly as she sensed my serious mood.

"Sakura-chan… I… I love you. And I don't just mean as a friend. Without you, my life wouldn't be complete. Ever since we met in third grade, I have been in love with you." I stuttered, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I said it… i-I did it. I told her.

A long silence ensued between us. Sakura looked at me, her mouth slightly open.

"T-Tomoyo… I don't know what to say… I love you, very much, but I don't know if I can be attracted to girls instead of boys…" she started to say, and then looked at my face. Crystal tears ran rivulets down my face; my eyes sparkled with hope and love. I couldn't control myself, as racked sobs erupted from the back of my throat. She didn't love me. The thought dominated my head, I couldn't think.

Please R&R!

Emiri