Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. If I did, I'd totally be one of the main characters and Yuki would fall in love with ME, not evil Machi!! GRR you Machi!!
A/N: So, I decided to write this fic randomly, but I just really wanted to write it. Sorry if it seems a little copy-cattish on other TohruxMomiji stories, but I can't fake a happy ending for them. Tohru will end up with Kyo, no matter how much it hurts me to see Momiji sad about it. Here is just what I think he feels.
Enjoy this sad fic of an unknown love
I wish she knew. I wish Tohru knew how I felt about her. Sometimes I fantasize that I did tell her, and that she returned my love wholeheartedly. But that's all it is. A fantasy.
The truth is that Tohru loves Kyo. I guess she always did. I see them holding hands or hugging all the time. They scarcely leave each other's side. I want to hate Kyo for stealing her. For making her happy in a way I will never be able to. I can't hate him though. I know that if anyone, Kyo is the one who needs someone like Tohru most. Someone who will look at him without fear, seeing him as only "the cat".
I always thought that when I grew, Tohru would see me as a man. She would see that I was an option too, and that I loved her. How childish of me. When I grew I gained a lot of girls' affections, just not the one person's I wanted. She still saw me as little Momiji. Was I that incomparable to Kyo? Was he so much more of a man than I was? I know it's not fair to ask those questions though. Tohru picked him, and I should at least respect her decision.
Could I have made her smile like that? That loving smile she always gives him, with such soft eyes. If I had confessed to Tohru, would she have given me that look? I still think that I could have made her happy. We always had so much playing together. We're two of a kind, both easily amused, both ready to smile and laugh. She loved my violin playing. She even requested a song. I learned it. I practiced for weeks until it was perfect. But by then, she was already with Kyo. She never heard it.
I have my sad days and my angry times. I usually talk with Kagura about it, because she knows exactly what I'm going through. She loves Kyo, just like I love Tohru. We understand each other's feelings about this situation than anyone else. Kagura seems sad whenever we talk about it, but overall she seems fine. She said it was because Kyo listened to her feelings, and held her when she cried over him. I guess she felt relieved that at least he heard her out, even if he knew he couldn't love her.
But I can't tell Tohru! The last thing I want her to do is fret over how I feel. I know she'd feel terrible about it if she knew. I don't want her sympathy or for her to feel guilty about being with Kyo. My only wish is for her to be happy, even if that means not being with me.
At least I have memories. As long as I have those, my love for Tohru will never fade. I've held her hand, ate with her, hugged her, kissed her cheek, and even slept in the same bed as her. Yet she never saw any of these actions as romantic in any way. She saw me like she would a little brother. Yeah, I think that's about right. I was someone she was always happy to play with, someone who she even loved, but only in a family way. I was family to her.
Well, there's nothing I can do to change her affections. I can't do anything but watch as Kyo loves her like I've always wanted to. I'll never know what she sees in that hot-tempered cat, but if she loves him that much then I'll try to be happy for the two of them. I'll give a true smile if they ever get engaged, married, and have kids. I'll hug Tohru and honestly say I'm so happy for them. I'll tell Tohru that if Kyo is ever mean to her, she should come to me because I love her more anyhow. I'll give her a playful smile as she laughs.
I wish she knew. I still wish she knew how I've always felt about her, but I'll never tell. I want her to love me and only me, but as long as she's alive she'll love Kyo. I'm sure of that much. If I truly wanted anything in my life, it's for Tohru to be happy. And that's with Kyo.
But if he ever makes her cry, I'll show him what this rabbit can do!
Owari
-sniffs- Ok, I felt so sad for Momiji when writing this. I hope the feelings I was trying to portray got through. Please review and give your opinions about this story. I'd love to know if you felt sad when reading this, because Momiji's love for Tohru is sad. A sad but unyielding love...-sighs-