I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA

A/N:

I don't really do Author Notes but I just like to say that this story could be really triggering if you self ham.

I dedicate this to my best friend who self harms. If you have a friend who self harms, you must know it's really hard. If you self harm and feel your alone, your not. You have me. I'm not trying to be soppy, trust me. I actually want to help. If you ever feel alone, just PM me, OK? I'll try my best to help you. I know most of you will probably ignore this and skip to the story but for those of you who read this, I'm here, whatever it is.

Rose x

What Lies Beneath

"I'm sorry Amu-chan, but this isn't going to work," Tadase-kun says.

"What... what are you talking about?" I say. I already know and I'm dreading his answer.

"I've found another girl I love. I'm sorry Amu-chan, I don't love you anymore."

He pecks me on my cheek and walks of.

He can't just leave me hanging like that! Tadase-kun was the one thing keeping me sane and now even he's left. Everyone leaves in the end. My friends, Ikuto, Tadase-kun and sometimes even my family. Yup even my own flesh and blood cease to care about me. Ikuto left to search for his dad. My friends. 'Friends', what a joke. The people who I thought I could trust turned out to be back-stabbing bitches.

I trudge home feeling depressed. When I arrive home, the house is empty. I look around for a note, but I don't find one. My family don't even bother to let me know their going out let alone inviting me.

I feel so alone.

I am alone.

I shuffle up the stairs to me room and fling the door open. I almost expect Ikuto to be lounging on my bed but unfortunately no cat. I wonder what Ikuto do if he knew Tadase-kun, I mean Tadase, had dumped me. I walk over to my desk to see if I can put my emotions into art. Art makes me think of Miki. Even my shugo charas left me. I try to put Miki out of my mind and reach for my pencil and my pencil sharpener. I stare at my pencil sharpener, for some reason in a trance. I find myself walking downstairs towards to my dads toolbox. I pull out a screwdriver. I walk back to my room and I unscrew the pencil sharpener and watch the blade drop out onto my lap. I pick it up and run it gently over the middle or my forearm. I do it again. And again. I almost can't feel the pain. It almost feels good.

Suddenly something snaps in my head. I look down at my mangled arm.

What am I doing to myself?

Blood drips down my arm. I run towards the bathroom and run the cold water tap over my bloody arm. When I'm satisfied the blood has washed of my arm, I hunt for the first aid kit. I wrap a bandage around my mangled arm. No one can no about this. They'll all say I'm attention seeking. I put the remains of the pencil sharpener in the bin and put the blade in my jewelry box underneath all my chokers and necklaces. I can't bring myself to throw the blade into the bin. I put my stained white school shirt into the washing machine and get changed into my pajamas. I mop up the blood on the floor in my room and uncontrollably cry on my bed.

Suddenly my phone rings. It's Ikuto. What does he want? He's meant to be on the other side of the world. I answer it, sniffling slightly.

"Hello?" I say into my phone.

"Yo," I hear the deep voice of Ikuto.

"Ikuto? How are you? Where are you? How's Yoru?"

"Whoa, so many questions! Calm down, ha ha, how are you?"

"I'm- I'm," I glance down to my arm and break down into tears.

"Amu? Amu, whats happened? Are you OK?"

"No," I say the only word that can come out in between my sobs.

"Wait there, Amu," Ikuto says and then cuts me of. What does he mean wait here?

I sob and cry into my pillow, my arm throbbing. Even Ikuto's leaving me. What have I done that's so wrong? Suddenly there's a tapping at my balcony window. Only Ikuto comes through there. Ikuto. Ikuto? I throw open the balcony doors. Someone takes me roughly into their arms. They smell familiar.

"Ikuto?" I say.

"Amu," Ikuto says.

I sob into Ikuto's chest mostly because I'm so happy that I still have someone who hasn't left. He lets go of me but I still cling to him. Ikuto laughs.

"I thought you didn't like my hugs?" Ikuto says. I let go. He takes in my tear-stained face. "Oh Amu, whats happened to you?"

"Everyone's leaving me, Ikuto. I even thought you were going to leave me when you cut me of. Tadase dumped me today. He's in love with another girl. Yaya, Rima and Utau have left me. My parents don't give a shit about me," I think about telling him about my arm. Ikuto takes me in his arms.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because they think that I'm an attention seeking cow."

He hugs me tighter.

"And today I..." I don't know whether to tell him or not.

"What Amu? Tell me," Ikuto says totally calm.

I pull up my pyjama sleeve and show him the bandage. Ikuto's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What happened?"

"I- have a look for yourself." He gently pulls back the bandage which is bloody on the inside. He removes all of the bandage and his eyes widen at what he see's.

"What happened Amu?"

"I- I did it to myself."

"What? Why? What made you do this to yourself?"

"I- well Tadase dumped me and he was the only thing that was keeping me sane and I just lost it because I have no one."

"You have me," Ikuto says totally calm, but I can see hurt in his eyes. It fills me with guilt.

"Yeah but I thought you left me too because you went to look for your dad."

"Yeah but, this?"

"It was like I was in a trance."

"How did you do this?"

"Well I was going to draw something and I saw the pencil sharpener and something switched in my brain. I didn't even know I was getting the screwdriver from my dads toolbox. So I unscrewed he pencil sharpener and I took the blade and I cut myself. The scary thing is though, I couldn't stop."

Ikuto didn't say anything. There wasn't much to be said really. So he hugged me tight and wouldn't let go.

"I want you to know that you're not alone, OK? You have me," he says.

"That's enough for me," I say, muffled slightly from his chiselled chest.

Did you like it? R&R please =)

Chapter 2 will come out soon