Red Goblets
"I wouldn't call this a party, Godric, there's only four of us," criticized Salazar, "And besides, why are our goblets red?"
"Well I tried them in blue and yellow, but only red seemed good for us fellows," said Godric.
"As long as you're not pushing for your silly red colored house above ours," started Salazar.
"Tonight is not a night for jousting, good Salazar, but a night for revelry! We posted the last of the Hogwarts acceptance letters this afternoon, let us celebrate the first year of the best wizarding school in Britain with drink and dance, not with bickering!" Godric exclaimed.
"My dear Godric, with you drink and bickering go hand in hand," complained Salazar. "Not to mention terrible dancing."
Before Godric could respond, Helga interrupted their conversation, saying things such as "friends are forever" and "fighting will tear apart the school" and "the cupcakes I baked are delicious". Godric and Salazar pretended they were listening to all of this while drinking mead out of their goblets when Rowena joined the three at the table.
"Red goblets, Godric? Have you been experimentally time traveling again?" inquired Rowena.
"Experimental divination, madam. You can use blue goblets for your party, but red is more appropriate for this occasion. Helga, these cupcakes are fantastic!" said Godric.
"Thank you, good sir. I added extra mulberries to them," Helga replied, "Good Salazar, why do you look so down?"
"I was just pondering that when students come here in September, I'm going to have to act responsible! And when are we ever going to be able to just hang out as friends together and not as administrators?" he said.
"Salazar, let us not worry about the future, but instead focus on tonight," said Godric standing up, "I propose a toast to us, Hogwarts, and bravery."
"To loyalty, friendship, and hard work!" added Helga.
"To wisdom, wit, and cleverness!" joined in Rowena.
"And to strong ambition, cunning, and slyness!" cheered Salazar, clinking his red goblet with his friends.
2 Hours Later…
"Nonsense!" boomed Godric. "Never tickle a sleeping dragon is a brilliant motto! It conveys the dormant power in our brave, brilliant academy!"
"Godric, you're a fool!" cried Salazar.
"Do you have any better ideas in your sly little cranium?"
"Never tickle a sleeping… snake," Salazar replied. Helga Hufflepuff started giggling wildly.
"You gents are so funny! How about, 'Honey badger don't care!'" she piped up.
"Helga, that does not inspire courage! That inspires… tomfoolery!" Godric replied.
"How about… wit beyond measure is man's greatest—" Rowena chipped in.
"Tomfoolery!" Godric cut her off. "Save your rash bookery for your own house!"
Rowena tried to tell him that bookery was not a real word, but Salazar cut her off. "You need more… snakes. How about wit beyond measure is snakes' greatest…"
"Tickle!" Godric shouted. "There needs to be tickling involved. You like tickling, do you not, Helga?"
"I do enjoy quality tickles indeed," Helga replied giggling.
"Well, 'tis too late, for I already ordered all of the custom silver engraved with draco dormiens nunquam titillandus," Godric insisted stubbornly.
"Godric! Shocking impudence!" Salazar exclaimed.
"Impotence? How dare you!" Godric cried, throwing down his gauntlet.
"What happened to dancing and drinking, rather than bickering?" Rowena cried desperately. "Do not duel, I beg you!"
But they did not duel that night, because Helga threw up her mead all over the floor of Godric's common room. Salazar materialized a bucket, Rowena held Helga's hair, and Godric was left to clean up the floor of his beautiful new common room and dispose of all the trashed red goblets.
And thus the red solo cup was born!
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A/N: So, obviously, we need to credit Toby Keith for this one shot because of his ridiculous song, "Red Solo Cup." Basically these one-shots are all going to be quasi-songfic-ish (all the hyphens!). They're going to be from all periods of time, with all characters, posted in a non-discernible order. For the record, this one-shot was Hufflepuff's idea, and the next one is Ravenclaw's. Peace!