Hermione's Choice
a fan fiction by LeahAnne
DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K. Rowling. All property you recognize belongs to J.K.R. and Warner Bros. I just... like messing with it. ; )
I walked from the kitchen, through the sitting room, down the hallway, back to the kitchen, through the sitting room, and back again.
I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, constantly uncomfortable, and all I wanted to do was to drop the extra forty pounds I was carrying. Unfortunately, the only thing that would alleviate that would be to actually give birth, the one thing I was dreading more than anything, scared to death that the truth would finally rear its ugly head.
The baby could not have his hair or his eyes. Everything else I would be able to explain away, but those two things would send my entire world crashing down to pieces around her... and around him.
"Mummy..." I heard my daughter whimper. Rose had just woken up from her nap and toddled toward her mother, blanket in tow, thumb in her mouth, red hair a mess. She raised her arms up toward me, as if asking to be picked up.
"No, Rosie, I'm sorry. Mummy can't lift you," I responded. Rose responded by crumpling back down to the floor, sobbing.
I sighed. I knew the two and a half year old was tired. She hadn't taken a nap all day and it was half past four. Food was on the stove and it was absolutely boiling in the house. Ron was due home at any moment and my uterus had been half-heartedly contracting all day. I felt another one coming on and grimaced, placing my hands at the small of my back.
"Hermione?"
It was Ginny. I turned around, sighing. Thank goodness her best friend was here, her two-year-old son Albus on her hip.
"You okay?" Ginny asked again.
I breathed deeply and let the breath hiss out between my teeth, willing the contraction to release.
"They're just annoying right now," I shrugged. "I'm okay, but unfortunately, these don't seem to be making much of a difference."
"Early labor," Ginny said. "Always my least favorite part. I see you're up and walking though. That's good."
I nodded. "This is the hardest part. How did you do it, when James wasn't even 18 months old?"
"It was hard. Especially because Harry was working and I had a really small baby to take care of. James was into everything, too. Rose just seems to want to follow you around," she said, setting Albus down and walking over to Rose. She scooped her up and held her close.
"I wish I could do that, but my back hurts so bloody bad I can't stand it," I said, closing my eyes.
"Are you sure this isn't the real thing?" Ginny asked seriously. "I mean, you are full term..."
"I don't think so," I replied, shaking my head. "Things didn't feel quite like this with Rose. I haven't had that feeling where I just know yet. And my water hasn't broken."
Ginny nodded, sitting down on the settee with Rose. "Do you and Ron have a name picked out?"
"Beatrice Jane for a girl. No idea for a boy, although Ron wants his middle name to be Arthur," I replied, taking a seat next to Ginny.
"I like your girl's name. Although I have a feeling you're carrying a boy. You've been carrying really low and with Rose you looked like someone had stuffed a basketball under your shirt," Ginny laughed.
"I feel like someone's stuffed a whale under my shirt," I grimaced. Another contraction started and I found myself closing my eyes, leaning against the back of the settee.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Ginny asked her me worriedly.
"I'm fine. At this rate, I'll probably have it next week or something," I grumbled.
"If you're sure," Ginny said, frowning.
The front door slammed shut and Ron came inside, pulling off his cloak and throwing it at the stairs. He started to storm down the hall before stopping and seeing Ginny, Albus, Rose, and I sitting in the sitting room.
"Hi, Gin," Ron said, nodding to his sister. "'Mione, you okay?"
"I've been contracting sporadically," I replied. "I'm okay and it's not time to go yet. I've been timing them and they are still fairly far apart and not consistent at all."
Ron nodded, leaning in and kissing me. "Okay, just a little worried. You know me."
"How was work?" Ginny asked. "You seem stressed."
"They had us checking out some place out in Bristol where a few Death Eaters were rumoured to be hiding. But apparently somewhere there was a leak. They were gone before we even got there. Harry wasn't happy," Ron sighed. "You might want to be there when he gets home, Gin. Where's James?"
"He's at Mum's. Playing with Molly and Lucy," Ginny shrugged. "I was over there earlier and he didn't want to leave."
Ron nodded. "You might want to go and get him and go home. I think Harry might want to spend some time with the family tonight and have something nice for dinner."
"Thanks for the heads up," Ginny said, giving Rose to Ron and then picking up Albus. She turned to me, giving me a very strict look. "And you better hurry up and have that baby! I want to meet my new niece or nephew!" She headed out the door with Albus.
"And when are you having my baby?" Ron asked, sitting down and placing his free hand on my belly.
"Soon enough," I replied. "He or she is just taking his or her sweet time in getting here."
Ron grinned and kissed me briefly before heading off into the kitchen. "I'll check on dinner for you, love," he called.
I sighed, feeling extraordinarily guilty. My baby had to have brown hair and brown eyes. There were just no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Ron and I curled up in bed that night, his arms wrapped around me.
"You are so beautiful when you're pregnant, you know," he murmured in my ear. "I mean, you're beautiful when you're not pregnant too, but when you have a baby inside you, you seem to glow."
I smiled tiredly. "Thank you, dear," I sighed.
Ron placed his hands at the small of back and carefully massaged the sore muscles there I moaned at the relief of the pain that had seemed to be building there.
"Any day now," Ron said, kissing my shoulder. "I can't wait to see what our son or daughter looks like."
But it's not our son or daughter, I found myself thinking. Merlin, I was such a horrible person.
I woke up at about three in the morning with a fierce contraction that felt like my entire body was being split in two. The entire bed was soaked.
"Ron?" I groaned. "RON!"
He shook awake and looked at me blearily. "Hermione? The bed's all wet," he groaned, still half-asleep.
"Yes, I know the bed's all wet," I moaned. "That's because I'm in labor. Come on, the baby's coming."
"What?" he said. "Oh, the baby's coming?"
"Yes," I moaned. "Go Floo your mum. I'll try to find something that's not all wet."
Ten minutes later, I had managed to put on something not completely soaked in amniotic fluid. I'd found my wand and had stripped the bed and put a magical protective covering over the bed to make sure it wouldn't get soaked or stained. I crawled back into the bed, my hands over my stomach trying to push through the contractions as best as I could.
"Hermione?"
I looked up to see Molly coming into the room, Ginny behind her.
"Ginny?" I asked. "Why are you here?"
"Mum had Ron floo me. Harry and Ron are watching the kids. Rose is over there, too," Ginny explained. "But none of that matters."
"How long have you been contracting?" Molly asked me.
"It started about a week ago. Just small ones here and there. But earlier this afternoon they picked up so I started walking. I woke up a few minutes ago and my water had broken and they're bad. Really bad." I moaned as another one started.
Molly observed me through the contraction. "About forty-five seconds. And coming every two minutes or so?" she asked me.
I nodded.
"Sounds like you're almost in transition. I'm going to go ahead and check you now okay?" she asked.
"That's fine," I said.
"Six centimeters," she said afterwards. "You're almost in transition. I bet this little one will be here in about less than three hours, judging by how quickly Rose came."
"That soon?" I asked, surprised.
"That's nothing," Ginny laughed. "From my first contraction to my last with Albus, I only lasted about four hours total. His birth was so quick."
"That's - ahh!" I moaned as another contraction started.
"Shh, it's okay. Focus on your baby, Hermione. He or she is going to be here soon," Molly said quietly.
Molly was quite correct in her calculations. Nearly three hours to the time she had first quoted, I was ready to push. Ginny held my hand and Molly had a towel in hand as I pushed. The pressure was so intense and I felt like I was being split in two the harder I pushed. But pushing seemed to relieve a lot of the pain in some weird way.
"Come on, Hermione," Ginny said encouragingly.
"The head's out! Good job, Hermione. Just a second," Molly murmured. "Looks like this one definitely won't be a redhead. Lots of dark hair."
God, please, I prayed deliriously.
"Ahhh!" I moaned aloud, pushing as hard as I could. I just wanted the baby out, not caring about what anyone would say about it, not caring what he or she looked like.
A huge gush of fluid was released as the baby slid out. I gasped aloud.
"It's a boy!" Molly announced. "And he's a big boy! I have another grandson!"
She waved her wand to do a measurement charm on him as she cleaned him off. Gasping, I sat up, trying to get a glimpse of him.
"He's about ten pounds, Hermione," Molly said, surprised.
"No wonder you were so huge," Ginny laughed. "He's so chunky!"
Molly wrapped the baby up and handed him to me. His cheeks were so chubby and his hair was dark, a few shades darker than mine, but not as dark as his father's. It was curly too, like mine. He opened his eyes as I held him close. His eyes were green, but not the same shade as his father's. Not emerald, more of a mossy jade.
"What's his name?" Ginny asked, sitting next to me on the bed.
"I think I'll wait for Ron to get here to decide," I sighed. "But he's gorgeous, isn't he?"
"Absolutely," Molly replied. "But he really doesn't look a thing like Ron, does he?"
"I think he probably just took after Hermione's family. I mean, her mother has really dark hair," Ginny said.
Molly smiled. "He's just so cute," she sighed.
"Ginny, go Floo Ron and Harry," I told her. "Have them bring the kids. I want Rose to see her new baby brother... and for the kids to see their... cousin."
"Of course," Ginny said.
Molly continued cleaning me up and then whisked everything away with a wave of her wand.
"Is he Ron's?" she finally asked me.
"What?" I asked, shocked.
"Is the baby Ron's?" she asked me.
"Why are you asking me that?" I replied, holding my son closer to me.
"The only children in our entire family that don't have red hair are Fred and and James and Albus. That's because Angelina is black and Harry has black hair. His hair is darker than yours and I've seen your baby pictures. I've suspected all along, Hermione. But I chose to not bat an eye at it because I thought I was looking into this too much. His eyes are green. Yours are brown and Ron's are blue. No one in my family or yours has green eyes, Hermione. Not one except - "
"Molly, you don't have to say it. Let Ron be happy. Let him think the baby is his. Don't ruin this for him. Don't break his heart," I begged her. "Please."
"But what if raising another man's child isn't what's best for my son, Hermione?" Molly asked, her eyes full of tears.
"What if knowing the truth would break him?" I sobbed. "It was a mistake. Don't punish Ron for it. If he finds out himself, then so be it. But don't be the one to hurt him," I sobbed.
"I'm not the one that's hurt him! You're the one that did that by getting pregnant with another man! How long have you been cheating on him?" she asked me.
"I'm not cheating on him. It happened once. It won't happen again," I promised. "I love Ron too much to make the same mistake twice. He never has to know. You never have to tell him. You never have to say a word."
A soft crack in the distance and the sound of a small child crying caused Molly to get up. "Fine," she said. "But this conversation isn't over."
A soft knock at the door caused Molly to walk over and open it. Ron was standing at the door, a broad smile on his face.
"He's here," he said, smiling. He looked absolutely over-joyed. He came closer to me and took a seat next to the bed. "He's a big one!"
"Your mum says just over ten pounds," I said, smiling.
"Well, he doesn't look like I expected him to," Ron replied. "But he looks like you. And he's beautiful, just like his mum."
I smiled. "I love you, Ronald," I told him.
"I love you more. Thank you, 'Mione. Thank you for our son," he said, leaning in and kissing me.
"You should probably try feeding him," Molly said, sounding business-like.
"Yes, you're right," I told her, taking the baby to my breast. He latched on without a problem.
Another soft knock caused us all to look up. Harry and Ginny stood at the door, holding Rose's hand.
"Rosie wants to see her little brother," Ginny said, smiling. She picked her up and brought her to the bed.
"Baby's eating," she said, watching the baby.
"We still need a name for him," I told Ron.
"Well, I think there's only one name for this little fellow," Ron said. "He's huge. How about Hugo?"
"Hugo?" I asked, trying it on for size. "It's different," I told him. "What does it mean?"
"Well, so is Hermione," Ron teased me. "I was looking it up last night. Something about being whole, if I remember correctly. The 'mind, body, and spirit' or something."
"Hugo Arthur Weasley," I said, looking down at the baby attached to my breast. "It fits."
The baby finished nursing and I pulled him away, handing him to Ron.
"Hello, Hugo," Ron cooed to him. "Daddy's here."
Harry and Ginny stepped forward. Harry peered over his shoulder and stared at the baby. I found my eyes locking on his and part of me wished things were different. I wished the baby looked like Ron, looked like Rose, had their red hair and blue eyes. I saw comprehension dawning upon him, comprehension that I did not want him to understand.
I was selfish. I had already been a horrid mother to Hugo, but I didn't see what other choice I had. Ron was his father, not anyone else. And that was the way I intended to keep it.
Ron snuggled Hugo closer.
"He's a beautiful baby," Harry said. "His hair is so curly."
"Messy," Ron laughed. "All over the place. Like his mother's."
"You should see her baby pictures," Ginny told Harry. "There's a picture of her and Rose at the same age in Rose's room. Rose has Weasley hair, but it seems that little Hugo here has definitely taken after the Grangers!"
"I see," Harry said, looking over at me. "And I suppose that as a boy, he'll be better able to keep it under control, won't he, Hermione?"
"I hope so," I replied. I looked over at Ron, who was still marveling over the baby.
"He has your father's eyes, Hermione," Ron said, looking up at me. "Although his eyes are a bit brighter than your dad's. More green than hazel."
"True," I said. "I was noticing that when he was first born."
"Aunt Hermione?" James piped up from next to Harry. "Can I see the baby?"
"Of course you can," I said. "Harry, do you mind lifting him up?"
Harry did so and James crawled over to peer over Rose's shoulder.
"He looks like Albus did when he was born," James stated matter-of-factly.
"That's because a lot of babies look alike when they're born. And they are cousins, after all," I said, hoping no one would bat an eye at James's off-hand comment.
"I think Ginny and I are going to take the boys and go back home. You and Ron and Rose and Baby Hugo should have some time together," Harry said, picking up James from the bed.
He looked up at me, not smiling, not letting any emotion show whatsoever. He knew, just like Molly did. Somehow, he knew. I just hoped he wouldn't break my secret. Our secret.
Hugo was three months old.
It was Albus's third birthday and Ron and I took Rose and Hugo to the Burrow to go to the birthday party. While Ron ran off with Rose, I took a seat on one of the swings, nursing the baby.
Harry sat down next to me.
"How are you?" he asked.
"Fine," I replied, looking out at the kids playing while Ginny tried to set up the cake in a corner of the tent that was raised.
"Something tells me fine is a bit of an overstatement," he said. "Does Ron know about the baby?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked him incredulously.
"Does Ron know the baby's not his?" he asked me. "With the way he's been acting lately, I would say he doesn't. Is there a reason you're not telling him?"
"Yes, there's a reason I'm not telling him!" I hissed. "What happened between me and you was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened and I feel guilty that it did. Ron is never going to know that he's not Hugo's father and you, Harry Potter, are going to be the last person to tell him, do you understand me?"
"I can't be Hugo's father, Hermione. No matter how much I might want to, I can't. Ginny and I haven't told anyone yet, but she's pregnant. We just found out this morning, although I think she's further along that she thinks she is. I owe it to my sons and I owe it to this baby and I owe it to Hugo to not turn everything upside down. So, no. I'm not going to tell anyone. I just wish things were different. I wish Ron was really his father," Harry sighed.
"Ron is his father. Ron's the one that's been getting up with me in the middle of the night. He's the one that's been taking care of us both. Ron loves Hugo and I'm never taking him away from him, okay?"
"Okay," Harry replied. "I understand. I'm just saying that you don't have to worry about me saying anything. And I want you to know that I do love him. And in my heart, he will always be my son."
"Thanks, Harry," I said. "And congratulations to you and Ginny on the new baby."
"Thank you," he responded. "We're actually hoping this one's a girl. Four boys will do me in. And I've still got my fingers crossed for a little Lily."
I smiled.
"Hey, Harry! Hermione!" Ron said, coming down the stairs behind us. "I think Ginny's just about ready to blow out the candles."
"You mean, Albus is just about ready to blow out his candles," Harry joked.
"Yes, that," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "Mind if I hold my son?" he asked, winking at me.
"Of course not," I replied. I gave Hugo to Ron, who in turn took my hand.
Harry smiled at us before running off to Ginny.
Everything really would be okay. Or so, I hoped. Ron loved Hugo. He was his father in every sense of the word. Harry and Ginny were having another baby. Everything would have a way of working itself out. And our respective families would be okay, too. Perhaps this would make my relationship with Ron stronger. Sure, he didn't know Hugo wasn't his son, but he loved him fiercely. And that's all our son really needed. Love. Love could get us through anything.
Hope you guys liked it. I know it's not usually the kind of stuff I write, but I've had the idea floating around in my head for awhile... Hermione giving birth to someone else's baby! *gasp*
Please review! It makes me write stuff faster! :D
With love,
LeahAnne