Disclaimer – Sadly Naruto is not mine

* Rating is T

A-Note: Hey people :) So I edited this again, and this time I am actually happy with it. I know Sasuke is depressed in this story and it is a real thing that he should seek help for. So please if anyone of you knows someone suffering like this, please try to help. So this story is AU and Sasuke is very OOC, but there is a good reason. So I hope all you wonderful people give it a chance and please R&R :) Love you people. Sorry for spelling and grammar.

Thoughts

*Trigger Warning. A lot of suicidal thoughts and behaviours.

Summary: With his heart-broken and all hope of having his blonde lost, Sasuke just wants the pain to stop. But, he made secrete promise to Naruto that he would never make him unhappy again. Five years have passed and the heart-break is taking its toll on Sasuke. Will he break his promise and end the pain? Or will Naruto be able to mend the raven's broken heart. AU SasuNaru Fluff

The Promise

Five Years Ago…

"Sasuke, why are you doing this? I thought you were my best friend?" Looking into those pools of blue I instantly felt the familiar pain in my chest. "Why are you scaring everyone away from me?!" Naruto yelled.

"I-I…love you." I said hiding my eyes underneath my raven colored hair. I looked down at the floor, I could not believe I said it, what in hell was I thinking! I could not lose m-the blonde, I always feared the day someone would steal him away from me, I just never realised it was possible that I could push him away instead.

"Sasuke, I love you too. You are like my brother and I cannot lose any more family. So why are you doing this to me?" I felt my heart shatter and tears begin to fill my eyes, my legs gave way and before I knew it I was laying in the middle of the boy's bathroom. I lid there watching my tears slip down the drain in the floor. I am going to be alone for the rest of my life…why do people always leave me? That thought kept replaying in my head as he walked over and laid my head in his lap.

I turned my head in his lap and looked up at the eyes that I loved so much, they were filled with pain and worry. I began to cry harder as the familiar shivers began to wreak havoc on my body. I gripped my shirt tightly where I imagined my broken heart was and turned my eyes to his. Naruto, I promise I will never be the cause of another unpleasant emotion. I know now that I will never truly be happy, and I do not think I could die knowing that you would be without protection. So I will stay here for you, until you find the one who truly has the right to call you his. Until then, I will try and let you go. I knew I did not speak the words; it was a silent promise from my heart to his…

Present Day…

I woke up from my dream-memory when a ray of sun slipped through my curtains. I did not want to move. I felt the fresh tears on my face, the wetness of my pillow, and wrapped my blankets tighter around me. It was a hot summer day but I did not care, I needed to feel secure. I stared dully at my clock "Some days I wish I could just sleep and not wake up…some days I wish I was not 'here' anymore." I mumbled slowly to the empty house. The memory began to evade my thoughts once more, I remembered the secret promise I made to Naruto that day, and the familiar shiver of sadness erupted through my body as more tears began to fall.

I blinked back tears and realised that it was almost 8:30am. I felt a little proud of myself for almost getting four hours of sleep, lately I have barely managed three. I slowly began to get out of bed and the dizziness began. I steadied myself on my nightstand and slowly got to my bathroom. Me and Naruto were currently on break before college, thanks to his hard work and my tutoring he managed to get into almost every school we applied for. However, he was still deciding what profession he wanted to pursue. I however, had settled on being a nurse years ago.

After my promise to Naruto, I found myself living a selfless life for the past five years. I had lost the love of my life, and my heart was broken. I realised that I was damaged and carried a lot of baggage. I knew deep down that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. So I decided I was going to use whatever time I had left to help people, so at least they could be with their loved ones for as long as possible.

I heard my door unlock and open, I was drying my hair in my room only wearing black shorts when he came in. The feeling I get when I see him is hard for me to describe: I begin to smile and for only a second I feel happiness, then a dull throb in my chest brings me back and it takes everything I have not to break down. He grins at me with his beautiful smile and I feel the blush form on my cheeks, I quickly turn away looking for a shirt when he begins talking.

"Surprise Sasu! Bet you did not think I was going to be here this early did you? I cannot believe you are up; I mean its summer! But I am happy you are, I need a big favor?" I really do not know why he asks anymore; I am very certain I have not said no to the guy in five years.

"Sure Dobe, what can I do to help?" I hated calling him that, but it helped me keep up the act. I needed him to believe I was still the same person from years ago, the person that liked to start fights with him or anything really to get his attention. If I stopped he would know something was wrong, plus I think he actually enjoys the bickering.

"You are such a Bastard, sometimes I do not know why I still hang out with you." he said in a teasing tone.

"Because you would be lost without my wonderful company, not to mention you depend on my help for everything." His words hurt but I clung to the fact that he needed me, it was not love but it had to do.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I love you too Bastard. What I wanted to ask was, my landlord has to cut the water to my apartment for a few days and I was wondering if I could stay here? It would be great practice for us living together at school."

My mask fell for a moment. "You actually want to live with me at school? Ahh I mean of course you want to. You would be lost without my help, not to mention you have no clue how to cook anything besides ramen. Of course you can stay here Dobe just try not to make a mess." Perfect save, he will immediately start an argument over ramen and everything will be fine. It felt bad going after his love of ramen. Love of a particular food was something we both had in common, except with me it was tomatoes, but the arguments were my protection. No matter how much I hate them…

"Sasu, why would you think that I would not want to live with you? I mean I thought I would be obvious. Do you not remember how happy I was when you decided to go to the same school as me? Living together was the first thing that came out of my mouth." He looked hurt and I felt my control slipping…this was my fault, I hurt him again.

"I do not want to hold you back okay? Having a random new roommate can be a great way for you to make friends, and I do not want to be the one who takes that away from you." This is so hard, all I want to do is tell him he has no choice because he is mine and no one else is going to take him from me! But this is the real world, where his heart belongs to someone else and mine was crushed a long time ago…

"You know you may be a genius when it comes to school, but I you are dumb as rocks when it comes to social skills. You are my best friend, that means I want to enjoy new experiences with you, as many as I can get. Who knows, maybe I can finally get you to take a chance on one of the many girls that claim to 'love you'." He said giggling. I felt a smile slowly form on my face, that seemed to make him happier and that is all that matters. "Oh! I forgot to tell you, Sakura is going to the same school as us too." Naruto said smiling, while mine was nowhere to be found. I began to think back to the days when I was happy and I still had hope.

Thirteen Years Ago…

I first met Naruto when I was five. My parents were the heads of a big company they started a few years after college, and they were taking my older brother with them to a meeting in New York. He had just graduated high school, and he decided the best way to spend his summer was to learn as much about the business world as possible. I was originally supposed to go with them, but I caught a cold and instead I was left with the nanny. A few hours later I found out their plane went down.

I was still sick when the funeral was held, the nanny and the rest of the servants told me I should suck it up. They though it would be rude to cough and sneeze when so many important people would be attending. I held everything in during the service; I did not shed a single tear. Once the horrid event was over, I hid in the bathroom, I picked the cleanest stall and locked the door. I still did not cry I just needed to get away from everyone, I guess I was a lonely child—though I never would have admitted it then—so I did not have a lot of friends. When the bathroom door opened I put my hands over my mouth, I listened for the sound of the big stomps that adults make when they walk, but instead all I heard was small steps that sounded like mine.

I tried thinking back on the service, trying to remember if I saw another boy my age, but no one came to mind. My thoughts were interrupted when the boy in question began jumping. Curiosity getting the better of me, I decided to meet this person face-to-face.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I left the stall. I only saw the boy from behind, but I knew I did not know him. He turned towards me and my breath caught, he had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen.

"Hey you scared me!" He said pointing his finger and puffing his cheeks. I felt my heart skip a beat. "But I will forgive you if you help me. I am trying to get a piece of the paper from the machine, but I am not tall enough." He said with a sad look in his eye.

"Why not use tissue instead of paper towel?" I said moving to help him anyway. I was taller than him so I could just reach it.

"It will not be as good; I am going to make something for the boy who lost his parents. I heard some of the older people talking, they said they were worried about him because he does not have any friends. So I figured I would make him something and then make him my brother, I kind of always wanted one." He said smiling; I was shocked, but extremely happy.

"Why do you think he will want to be friends with you?" I said handing him the paper towel.

"Well I have no family and he lost his, so maybe it is a sign that all my wishing for a friend paid off. I do not like being alone, and none of the other kids like me because they say I look weird. So every night I look up in the sky, find the prettiest star, and wish for a friend that will never leave me. One that will love me." He said looking a little sad as he started folding.

I was completely speechless; no one ever cared so much about me before. I knew of course that my parents and brother loved me, but I never quite fit in with them. But, maybe if I had more time I could have worked on making myself better, or changed so they would love me more. I could have done it…if I had the time.

The blonde boy pulled out a pair of scissors and began cutting the paper. When he was done he put them away and pulled the cut up piece apart. "See it is a snowflake, well two actually. I heard some mean people at school say that my new brother, Sasuke, is like some kind of ice prince. So I figured I would go to him and say "Hi Susu, I am Naruto some people told me you are the prince of ice or something. so I figured I would give you a snowflake since its made of ice and really beautiful like you are. It is really special so you better keep it, it is the only one that has a twin. See snowflakes never look like each other, and that seems really lonely, but this one is not because it has a brother. I figured if you have it and you get lonely, you can just look at the snowflake and know that I am here. Will you be my best friend? Do you thi-". Naruto did not get a chance to finish because I pulled him into a hug.

"Yes, I will be your friend Dobe." The word slipped out because he was the last person I would have ever guessed to melt my heart. "Oh right! Hello Naruto I am Sasuke, your new best friend". He looked puzzled for a moment and then handed me the paper snowflake smiling.

After that moment my feeling for him began to grow extremely fast. After the funeral I was left to the care of my nanny and the rest of the housing staff. I later learned, Naruto lived in a group home with a bunch of other kids and went to the public school in town. The first thing I did was transfer to his school and spend even more time with my best friend. I did not remember my parents very well, but one lesson my father taught me kept running through my head: if I wanted something to be mine, I would get it, that's what the family does. That is what I thought, I did say I felt like I did not belong….

When we were younger, Naruto was picked on because his blonde hair and blue eyes made him different, however once we got to high school they made him a catch. Ever since I transferred into Naruto's school girls loved me. I had already given my heart to Naruto, whether I knew it or not, so I ignored all attempts from everyone. Once we got to high school a new girl moved to town, her name was Sakura. She initially focused all of her attention towards me, but once she got the hint I was not interested, she turned her attention to Naruto. He loved it, which made something in me snap…

After the promise, I was nicer to everyone, I stood by and watched how Naruto soaked up everyone's attention. It was hard for me to except, that he was not and never would be mine. What hurt the most was that the smile he usually saved for me, was now directed at everyone, while I was left with the impossible task of letting him go.

Present Day…

With Naruto in my life, my childhood was great. He told me I was cold to a lot of people and that I should be nicer, like he was. Looking back, I keep wondering if I changed then, would he love me now? "Sasu, earth to Sasuke, did you hear me?" Naruto was looking me straight in the eye when I stopped daydreaming. I quickly realised how close he was and my face flushed again.

"Sorry Naruto, I was just remembering the old days…." I really did not feel well. It is times like this when I wish I could end the pain already. But after looking into those blue eyes, I know deep down, that he would blame himself if anything happened to me. I cannot put him through that...

"Oh, I know being orphans is not how normal kids grow up, but I thought we made happy memories despite the cards we were dealt; you just looked so sad. Did you enjoy our childhood Sasuke?" Naruto said with worry consuming his voice.

"I did Naruto believe me, I loved my family but I would not trade my time with you for anything. I just lost something very dear to me when we in high school…." I felt like slapping myself. Five years of walls and masks, yet here I am about to display my emotions before him again! I had to think of a way out of this, I could not get hurt again.

"What did you lose? We were best friends for almost our entire lives, yet, this is the first I have heard of this. How is that? I thought you told me everything?" He said looking upset.

"It was during the time I was not myself…when I was a bastard. To be honest with you, it was not really mine, I desperately wanted it to be…but it belongs to someone else. It is not something I really like to talk about it. Now enough of this Dobe, we should go to the gym or you can teach me some more self-defence." I said hoping that putting on the act again would be enough.

"Sasu, I cannot do this anymore." Naruto said looking the saddest I have ever seen him.

I could not breathe; it felt like I had been stabbed with a knife. I tried to move, but the spinning started again and before I knew what was happening I began to fall. He is going to leave me like everyone else…. I felt a sharp pain in my head and everything went black.

Later That Night…

It was dark when I woke up. I turned to check the time, but instead I was met with a face full of Naruto. I have seen him sleep many times, but once everything came back to me I started to panic again, I realised this could be the last time. I know I should just wait for him to wake up, but it was time to deal with everything. My bubble of fake happiness was popped, and the promise was broken. I had hurt him again, and I already knew tears were streaming down my face. I slowly reached under my pillow and took hold of the old piece of paper towel that was underneath it. I held the snowflake against my broken heart and decided to channel a little of whom I used to be. I slowly snuggled into Naruto and took one of his arms and wrapped it around me.

I closed my eyes, felt his arms around me and sighed, I had never felt more safe. I slowly smiled and snuggled deeper into his chest, I felt the tears slowly slide down my cheek. I tried my best not to cry anymore, but they continued to fall and then the sniffles started. I began to feel like that five-year old boy again. The arm around me tightened, and before I knew it I was being hugged. I felt the panic again and I realised the situation my weakness got me into, I began to cry harder until I felt the soothing rubbing on my back.

"You know Sasu, I have been expecting you to cry for a while now; it is not healthy for you to bottle up your emotions, it makes me worry about you even more." I tried to wiggle out of his embrace but he would not let me budge, when did he get this strong?

"Oh no, you are not going anywhere. Do you have any idea how much you made me worry? You had a panic attack and then hit your head. When was the last time you slept through the night?" I did not know why he kept asking all these questions, he said he could not deal with me anymore, so why is he still here?

"I did good last night, I managed almost four hours instead of my usual three." The arms pulled me closer to him. I wanted him to stop getting my hopes up, does he not realise how hard giving him up has been on me?

"Sasuke, what happened to you? I mean sure your nicer to everyone and really kind. But you are destroying yourself, piece by piece, and I cannot watch you do it anymore. So please tell me what happened? Was it the thing you lost?" He was stuttering while he was talking and I began to feel the wetness on my shoulder. He is crying, and it is all my fault. I did not know what to do; I slowly turned my head, took one look at him and everything staring pouring out.

"I lost you! My heart got broken and I did not want to live anymore after that! But I could not hurt you anymore. So I made a promise that I would stay with you and never hurt you again, until you found someone. Then I was hoping I would not have to see the rest…." I slowly began to worm my way out of his grip, however, when his eyes caught mine they were filled with such rage. I was scared to more another muscle.

"You cannot die…you are not going to die; it is not fucking happening okay! I can handle a lot of shit, but you are supposed to be my rock and I am supposed to be yours! When in hell did you lose me?! I am right here! I never left your side." He said pulling me closer I was so confused; how did he not remember? "But I need you to tell me something, which bitch broke my Sasu's heart!" My heart was beating loudly in my chest…it has been so long since that happened.

I wanted to answer him, but I was still dwelling on how he said I was his. It took me awhile but I finally managed to whisper in his ear. "You did Naruto." I was trying to prepare myself for the pain of his rejection, again, but I knew deep down that I would not be able to handle it.

"Me? You mean, you love me? All those times when we were kids, the other students always tried to make you stop playing with me. You always told them that I was yours, and that you would always be with me. You really meant it?" Naruto said with wide eyes.

Now I was pissed. "Of course I meant it, I loved you and I am still in love with you! You are my best friend; you know I would no go around saying I love you without actually meaning it! As far as I was concerned, when we were that age you were mine…"

"So when you were trying to make everyone stop hanging out with me five years ago, it was because-." I cut him off. I should just come clean, then we can break off our friendship with everything in the open.

"I did it because Sakura, and those stupid bitchy girls, were trying to take my Naru away from me! You were supposed to become mine, my boyfriend, my lover, my…everything! But you know what? It does not matter anymore, go be happy with some stupid bitc-." I was cut off when he smashed his lips onto mine, I was drawing blanks I could not think. This was the best moment of my life.

"There is the possessive bastard I know and love, I missed him so much." Naruto said smiling and pulling me against his chest. "You, crazy boy, you never lost me, I was always yours. That day in the bathroom, I was half mad because I thought you were jealous because some of your girls started following me around. I did not think it was the other way around, I mean I hopped, but I never dreamed that you would actually feel the same way. When you told me you loved me, I was sure you meant as a brother." I was stunned. He actually loves me. "Wait! Did you call me Naru?"

I turned bright red and felt like slapping myself. "Yes, it is what I thought of you as years ago, my Naru…." I did not know what else to say, I was still in shock. But before the panic began to set in, I knew there was something I had to do. I looked up into those deep blue eyes that I loved with all my heart.

"Naruto, you and I both know I changed. I know that I am broken and I want you to know that broken or not. Me and all my little pieces, love you the same amount as the unbroken me did five years ago, maybe more. But that does not change the fact that I m still broken, so you do not have to stay with me. I think you should go; find someone you can be with that does not need this much work." I said looking down with my hair covering my true feelings, the ones on full display in my eyes.

Naruto chuckled. "You know; you are the most wonderful boyfriend in the world? Your Naru loves every damn piece of you, and I will never let my Sasu go again. I do not care if it takes years but I will fix you Sasu, it is what a lover is supposed to do right?" My Naru, then pulled me in for another kiss that was even better than the last. I did not even think that was possible.

"You know, now that I know how good kissing you is, I am never going to stop right?" I said smirking.

"Hey, do not look at me, I am not going to stop you. Although, keep smirking like that and you will have to stop me." Naru said smirking back.

"I love you so much Naru. Now that we are together, I can do something I have been dreaming of for years." I said as my smirk grew wider.

"W-what is t-that?" Naru said turning redder then a tomato.

"Seeing the look on that pink headed bitches face, when I kiss every inch of your sexy body." I said looking at my Naru while licking my lips.

"And the possessiveness is back." Naru said rolling his eyes before smiling at me and kissing me once again.

A-Note: Well guys that is the end :) I cannot believe how long this one is. I am sorry if it started a little slow. I know Sasuke is kind of all over place, but I wanted write him damaged but he still has some of his old self left because he still cannot let go of Naruto. I hope I did a good job :)