Snow falls from the sky; the weather is cool. It is the scenic perfection of Christmas. All the houses are covered with lights; wreathes adorn the doors of many a festive house. Meanwhile Kikyou looks down from her flying sled. With her fuzzy hat askew on her head, she makes merry... with some Skyy.
"GROSS Kikyou," cries Rudolph as she burps.
"BASTOS," inserts the new reindeer from the Philippines. Kikyou raises the volume on the stereo and flicked the reins a few times. The chugging continued, as the bottle ran dry. The reindeer turn back to their path and press on.
Outside a small house, in rural Japan, a girl looked out onto the mountains. She held a bucket of water. After checking the temperature, she expertly poured the water onto the path that leads to her house. She then went back inside. Twenty meters from that spot, a pack of reindeer were slowing down. One had a very shiny nose. One could even say it glowed. As they trot along, Kikyou continued to tell bad jokes.
"Do... you know why pirates are so pOpluLARR?"
"----"
"because they just arrrrrg." Much giggling, somewhat one-sided, ensued. Kikyou then suddenly jerked to a stop, causing the reindeer to lurch back. She grabbed the sides of the sleigh, heaved, and spewed. But for some odd reason, it landed in a puddle. The water splashed, getting mud into her eyes. Kikyou, flailing, accidentally walked out of the sleigh, slipped on the mud puddle, and fell backwards. Her head hit the edge of the sled; she died upon impact. The reindeer stood shocked. A mud puddle had just killed Christmas.
Behind the door of the petite house, an imp plopped out of the girl. It patted her on the head and vanished. From the imp's point of view, a good nights work had been done and a very merry Christmas ensured. The girl on the other hand, was mighty confused. But once she realized she'd been sleep walking again, she began beating her head against the door. Not again, not again. When she was seven, she awoke to find her smelly hamster drowning in the toilet. Again when she was nine, the class bully was found tied to a pole on a rainy night, with her signature on his butt. When she was twelve... Thump, as her head met the door. What is it. Thump. this time? Thump... The door swung open to reveal nine reindeer and a dead drunk. The girl grimaced. I am guessing that this is somehow my fault...